Chapter Twelve
Murphy's Laws
AN: sorry for the delay, coursework, too much coursework, dying. Well anyway on with the show, here's the next instalment of damn safety, enjoy!!
Disclaimer: I don't own ff7, I only own my imaginary creative writers licence and my pen, cant forget about my pen.
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As Rude gazed over at the mountain of paperwork on the desk next to his, he wondered how the hell he was going to get Reno to do his extremely overdue paperwork for once. Would it take money, alcohol, cigarettes, a trip to the gold saucer? No, nothing is ever that easy.
Murphy's First Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks
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About two months later Rude was still staring at the virtual Everest of paperwork. Tseng was even beginning to lose his temper over the very long overdue paperwork. Hell, even the president's fangirlish secretary who fawned over the redhead was getting peeved, she was the one who had to file it in the end. With Reno she learned, everything took waaaaay longer than expected.
Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you think
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Tseng was near tears as he realised that the Shinra helicopter he was in was running out of fuel, fast. That would leave him, Rufus, Reno and Elean in the middle of the desert until a rescue team got up off their asses to find them…great fun.
Murphy's Third Law: In any field of endeavour, anything that can go wrong will go wrong
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"Okay, there are a few flaws in the plan and a few things may go wrong bit don't, I repeat don't let that bomb go off!!!!" Tseng ground out the new soldier rookies he was assigned to train. Within ten seconds of him saying that, before they even got out of the room a large explosion rattled the building, shaking dust from the walls and ceiling, the rookies heard a loud thud and they saw one of the most feared men in Shinra banging his head off the table.
Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility that several things can go wrong, then the one that will cause the greatest damage will be the one to go wrong
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As Elena paced the huge conference hall, she chanted a mantra. "I've checked, re-checked and got the security team to check again, nothing will go wrong 'Lena." It was Rufus' niece's birthday and as he was the only female member of the Turks, she was presented with the arduous task of organizing an eleven year-old's party. Now all that was left was to get the food from the caterers to the hall with no hiccups. Her cell phone rang to confirm it, everything was going fine, thanks to her genius planning skills, that thought remained in her heads for a grand total of 3 seconds then everything went dark, a power cut.
Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything absolutely can NOT go wrong, it will anyway
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Reno is naturally cold rife, so if he gets cold he wants to warm up, simple. Now there aren't any radiators in the office and when he's too cold he cant work (if he ever works) so being a genius that he is and all, he grabbed a few pages of blank paper and cast fire on them. It was nice for all of two seconds then he noticed, how could he not have noticed, the thousand odd pages of paperwork on his desk, if he could get rid of it he could kill two birds with one stone, he wouldn't have to do it and he would be warm. So he cast fire again a got himself a nice little bonfire going, until at least the sprinkler system went off and drenched him, making the cold rife redhead cold again.
Murphy's Sixth Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
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"Okay, the power is back on 'Lena, everything is okay, okay calmed down, now cake, where the hell is the cake?" she half-muttered to herself earning her some strange looks form the catering staff present. "OI that bowl is supposed to go over there you idiot, didn't you read the plan?!" she yelled at some poor sod who was about o set down a punch bowl ay the wrong table. She wheeled around and finally saw the 'piece de resistance' being brought in, the cake. It looked perfect; well as perfect as that little snot nosed brat had described it. She took some time to stand back and admire her handiwork, it had taken two weeks of hellish planning but now everything is going perfectly. As her eyes swept across the cake one more it burst open, sending icing and bits of cake everywhere. Out jumped two playboy bunny girls yelling "SURPRISE!!!". Elena stood there stupefied.
"I ordered…the…wrong…cake?"
Murphy's Seventh Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
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"Whaddya mean there's no rescue team…hurricane my ass, I don't give a shit who it is, what rank they are, just get me a damn rescue team NOW!!...No I can't wait any longer, I am about to slaughter my two subordinates…I'm sorry that you don't see my way," Tseng hissed down the phone sending chills up the other three's spines. "Sorry about that, our new chopper will be delayed to weather problems, now I want you to please be quiet, I have a migraine and I'm out of aspirin. The silence was very, very tense.
Murphy's Eighth Law: Mother Nature has a sense of humour and always sides with the problem
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A research and development techie was up in the Turk offices giving his monthly rounds of new equipment to them, when he gave out the laptops he was explaining proudly about their 'completely foolproof firewall' that would 'send any hacker running away crying like a baby.' Well soon later Rude hooked his laptop to the Turk system and within seconds an icon popped up on screen. "Foolproof huh, didn't send me to cry like a baby."
Rude glanced over to the other side of the room where Reno sat with a Cheshire cat grin plastered on his face, within a minute the research and development techie got an email about the laptops. It read: Yes, the system is a massive upgrade from the previous one however the information you said about the firewall is incorrect, it may be foolproof yes but the day that you can make it Reno proof will the day that you will get a reward.
Murphy's Ninth Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so very ingenious
AN: hoped you enjoyed it and if you can please review and you will receive a cookie courtesy of fanfiction . net