DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

Lois sat there with Meredith's head on her lap for quite a while before either of them spoke. Neither of them wanted to. They both sat there hoping if they closed their eyes long enough, all their problems would just go away. Meredith knew that her prognosis wasn't good. She couldn't bear the fact that Lois didn't want to fight. Meredith finally broke the silence.

Meredith: So when are you going to tell John?

Lois: I'm not.

Meredith: What?

Lois: I just want him to remember the way I am. I want to visit you guys, have a good time. Then I want to go home and die, alone. I don't want to put the ones I love through this.

Meredith: No, you can't do that. We love you, we, I want to take care of you. You can't just leave, and die. John would not be able to handle that. He would never forgive himself. You have to tell him, or I will...

Lois: Meredith-

Meredith: NO! You are not going to do this...(She gets up and heads to the bathroom.)

Lois sat there silently crying. She knew that she had to tell John. She had hoped it would be easier than this. She would come, visit have a good time, and that would be it. John would never know how she suffered, he would remember her happy. Now that wasn't going to happen, she knew Meredith would tell him. She heard the garage door open, John was home. She decided to go to bed, before he came in. She knew she had to face it, but not tonight, she wanted him to have one more good night. Meredith took a long hot shower, then laid down in her bed. She heard John come in. She wasn't going to tell him tonight. She wanted Lois to do it. If Lois doesn't tell him by tomorrow night, she would. John came in after a while, she just laid there silently. She didn't want to talk, and she couldn't sleep. John laid down next to her. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck. She pulled his arm up and laid it on her. He spooned up against her. His body felt so comfortable against hers. She took it in, let him feel safe, happy, because tomorrow he wouldn't be.

Meredith woke up much earlier than John. He was still wrapped around her, holding on for dear life. She pulled herself away and headed down to the kitchen to get coffee. She found herself worried about seeing Derek. She knew he was working today, and she had so much guilt about kissing John. She had to face it, she was in love with two men. The drive to work was easy, traffic was pretty light. When she pulled into the lot she parked at a spot next to Izzie's car. As she was getting out, she saw a familiar car pulling in next to her. He flashed her a huge smile. She smiled back. It was a smile that was full of every emotion is the world. Sadness for Lois, happiness to see Derek, betrayal for both John and Derek, anger at her mother. It was all too much to handle. She felt like she was losing her grip, falling into a pit, one that she could never crawl back out of.

Derek: Hello, gorgeous.

Meredith: Hey...

Derek: What's the matter?

Meredith: (Her eyed welled up.) Nothing...I'm going to be late. See you later. (She runs off leaving him standing there.)

Derek: Shit! Shit, shit, shit. (He stood feeling overwhelmed.) She is going to stay with John... (He knew he had to talk to her, change her mind, make this right. He was not ready to lose her, not by a long shot.)

Meredith was assigned to Dr. Montgomery-Sloan for the day. Addison had her running labs all day. The floor was so busy. They had a woman that was expecting quadruplets. Everyone loved seeing the babies. They always made you fell better, a new life, a new beginning. She had always wanted kids, badly. With the relationship she and John had it was never an option. She was running back to the elevator when someone grabbed her and pulled her into a supply room.

Meredith: Hey.

Derek: Hey. So earlier...

Meredith: Yeah, sorry. I have just been under so much st---(He pushes her up against the wall, his mouth covering hers. He needed her, he wasn't going to lose her this easily.) Derek, stop.

Derek: Meredith...

Meredith: I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Derek: So that's it? Everything we had...gone?

Meredith: I love you. I love you so much it hurts. You are amazing, and caring, and sensitive. I kissed him. I never should have. It was a mistake, the worst kind. We've been together so long. I love you Derek. God, I love you. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt you, it's not fair. (He kisses her again.)

Derek: I know you have a past. I know you can't just walk away and not feel anything. I know you will always love John. But here's the thing, I love you. I would do anything for you. I have never felt this way about anyone in my life. I need you. I am not giving up on us, I'm not. (He walks out leaving her standing there.)

Meredith was more confused now than ever. She knew whatever decision she made was going to be hard, and right now, she couldn't deal with that. She headed back to give the labs to Addison. While on her way she was paged. When she got to the floor, the patient was in labor. She was early and Addison knew that two of the babies were surgical. At least now she had something to keep her mind off of the men in her life. The surgeries went fine. The babies were all relatively healthy. She was scrubbing out when she got a page from Bailey.

Addison: Go ahead, it must me important. I'll page another intern.

Meredith: OK. (Meredith hurried down to the nurses station. She saw doctor Bailey standing there talking to a man. It was John.) What's going on? (John turned around, tears in his eyes.)

Bailey: You mother-in-law has acute appendicitis. We are prepping her for surgery. She is lucky she came in, her appendix was very near rupturing.

Meredith: Thank you, for paging me. Can I see here before she goes in?

Bailey: Hurry up if you're going to. (Meredith walked in, Izzie was prepping Lois.)

Lois: Meredith...

Meredith: What happened?

Lois: John came home to take me out to lunch. My stomach started to hurt. I just figured it was my liver. I didn't take my pills this morning. I hate being on those damn things. The pain got so bad. I told him. Meredith, I told him. He needs you. Please, take care of him. Whatever happens, I love you.

Meredith: Mom, you are going to be fine. Don't worry. Please. Don't give up, not yet.

Izzie: I really need to get you into surgery. Don't worry Mer.

Meredith: I love you, Mom.

Lois: I love you too.

Meredith walks out to comfort John. He is standing there in his suit by the nurses station, looking like he had been run over by a truck. She walks over an puts her arms around him. Everyone is watching, most of them don't know that Meredith is married.

Meredith: I am so sorry. (She lays her head against him. He pushes her away.)

John: (In a raised voice.) NO! No. How could you do this to me? You knew! You laid in bed next to me last night, you put my arms around you, and you didn't say anything. My mother is dying, and you kept that from me!

Meredith: I didn't want to be the one. She needed to tell you herself. (She is starting to cry. Everyone has stopped what they are doing, and are watching. Derek sees what is going on.)

John: Get the fuck out of here. Get out of my face. I can't stand to look at you right now. (He is very angry, and upset. Meredith looks at him and walks away.) Meredith! Wait, I'm sorry. (He walks after her. He follows her into the stairwell.) I love you. Please. (He grabs her arm.) I don't know what came over me. What am I going to do? I love her so much, she can't leave me. (He embraces Meredith and they both cry.)