DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

As Derek walked out of the room he heard everyone buzzing about what had happened. He wanted to start screaming at the top of his lungs for everyone to just shut up, and get a life. He really felt for Meredith. He knows her well enough to know she is a strong person, not the type to break down. Now is is lying there in pain, she broke down, in front of everyone. He decided to go check on his patient, he had to gotten Izzie to take over for Meredith. As he was walking down the hallway, he saw the Chief coming, and he looked mad. The Chief walked right past him and towards Meredith's room. He decided he had better follow, to defend her if need be.

Chief: (Yelling loudly.) What the hell is going on? (Meredith didn't even look at him, she just laid there with her face nuzzled in John's chest.) Dr. Thompson! (Meredith looked at him with a tear stained face.) You can't just attack doctors in the OR. What about the patient? Did you think about the patient? You could have killed the patient! You are out of control! What do you have to say for yourself?

Meredith: I don't want to talk about it.

Chief: I am your superior. You will talk about it. (Meredith just looked at him, with a face made of stone.) OK then, as of now you are suspended. You can visit your mother-in-law, but so help me God if I see you near the OR or any other patients. You will be lucky if you are allowed to continue to be an intern here.

Meredith: Fine!

Chief: There will be a meeting with the board. I won't be surprised if Dr. Jenson presses charges, he has every right to.

John: (Yelling.) Let him try. I will drag his ass through the mud behind a goddamn horse!

Meredith was getting angry. She didn't know why. The Chief had every right to be mad. He didn't know what was going on. Meredith pulled her IV out and got out of bed. As she walked through the door towards the locker room she notices Ray. He was smiling his cocky smile. She wanted to lunge at him again, but that is what he wanted. She kept walking, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

Ray: Mer-honey, you need to relax, let me show you how. (He smiled a sly smile.)

John: (He grabbed Ray and threw him up against the wall. He grabbed his throat. A nurse called for security.) You son-of-a-bitch. I swear if you EVER look, talk to or touch Meredith again, I will kill you. I will slice your throat from ear to ear. But you know what? That would be too fucking fast for you to die. You need to suffer, the way she has.

Ray: I see you've grown up quite a bit, but you're still just a pussy jock. How does it feel? You couldn't protect her. You knew what was going on, and you just ignored it.

John was about to choke Ray when security came up. They pulled John off of Ray. John was upset, he was right. He knew that Ray was making Meredith uncomfortable. She insisted he not do anything, that she could handle it. If he done something when it started, maybe Ray wouldn't have attacked her. Everyone was shocked. They had gotten to know John since he had been visiting his Mother. He was such a kind, great guy. The kind of guy that wouldn't hurt a fly. Something was defiantly going on.

John: (To security.) I was just leaving.

John headed away from the room and noticed that Meredith was walking out the main entrance. He didn't want her to drive, he knew she couldn't drive when she was upset, and she was definitely upset. She had packed everything up from out of her locker. She never wanted to go back. John tried to catch up to her, but he failed. She was tearing out of the parking lot when he got to the door. He jumped into his car praying that she didn't kill herself driving. He caught sight of her on the freeway, she was dodging in and out of traffic. He wasn't going to try to catch up, there was nothing he could do. He would talk to her when she got home. John was shocked when he got home and Meredith wasn't there. Oh God, I hope she didn't get in an accident. He was worried, he had no idea where she could have gone.

Meanwhile: Meredith was driving erratically. She felt like she was being crushed by a boulder. Lois was dying, Ray had returned, she hated her mother, and now she was going to be kicked out of the program. Seattle Grace was her life. She has no regard for herself, and this very moment, she didn't care what happened. She knew the Chief was going to believe Ray over her, why even try? Finally she stopped at a liquor store. She bought two bottles of tequila. She drove to the only spot she could think of that she could be alone. She drove to the spot that overlooked the ferry boats. Derek had taken her there on a date. It was quiet there, she could drown out her sorrows, alone.

John was getting worried it had been several hours, and he hadn't heard from her. He called the police, and they laughed at him. They said she wasn't gone long enough. He started calling hospitals to see if she had gotten in an accident. He didn't call Seattle Grace. That was the last thing she needed, to have him call, and everyone this Meredith was even crazier than they thought she was. Meredith wasn't the type of person to hurt herself, but today he wasn't sure. There is only so much a person can take.

Several more hours went by and still no word. Finally he got desperate. He had to do it. He called the hospital.

Receptionist: Seattle Grace Hospital.

John: Can I talk to Dr. Derek Shepherd please?

Receptionist: Let me see of he is in, one moment please.

Derek: This is Dr. Shepherd.

John: Derek? This is John Thompson. (His voice sounded worried.)

Derek: (Concerned.) Is everything OK?

John: It's Meredith. (Derek's heart sank.) She never came home. I don't know where she is. She has never done this. She is fragile right now. I'm worried, I don't think she would hurt herself.

Derek: (He was worried, he had no idea what was going on. But the fact that John didn't think she would hurt herself totally unnerved him.) I haven't seen her. I am off in a few minutes. There are a few places I could check. I will also ask the other interns, maybe she is with one of them.

John: Thanks Derek. She has been through a lot. (He gives him his cell number.) Please call me if you find her.

Derek asked around discreetly. He didn't want to give anyone a reason to start talking about what happened. The interns were also very worried about her. They were all speculating about what had happened between Meredith and Ray. They decided that he must have dated Ellis and he was physically abusive. Everyone exchanged numbers and started searching. Derek went to his trailer. He thought maybe she had went there to talk to him. The interns searched various bars. Joe said he hadn't seen her. Finally it dawned on him. The docks. He told her that was were he always went to think. As he pulled up there he saw her Jeep. A small part of him was really afraid of what he might find. He called everyone an let them know that he had found her. He told them that he hadn't talked to her yet, but he would call after he found out what was going on. John was upset and relieved that Derek found her. Why did Derek know where she would be? It didn't really matter, at least he found her. He pulled up next to the passenger side of the Jeep. He climbed out and walked up. Through the tinted window he could see her, and he could hear her. She was bawling. He opened the door, the smell of alcohol almost knocked him out. He noticed an empty bottle of tequila on the floor. She looked over at him. She didn't say anything. He sat down and the seat and they just watched the ferry boats. After awhile she spoke, she was definitely drunk.

Meredith: It just sucks, ya know.

Derek smiles, he doesn't want to pressure her into talking about it. She started rambling, she probably wouldn't have talked about it if she hadn't been polluted. She goes on talking about Lois, and Ellis, and the fact that she couldn't forgive John. She admitted that she loved him, a lot. She missed what she had.

Meredith: Everyday I dreaded seeing Ray, his touches, his looks, his comments. I had a feeling it would happen, and it did. He finally tried to rape me. If he hadn't accidently loosened his grip, it would have happened. I was so scared, but I fought. I got free. The shitty thing is, my mom said I was the one that wanted him, I was the whore. John has never forgiven himself. I talked him out of it. He was going to confront Ray, from the first touch. I said no. Maybe I was a whore. No, I wasn't I tried to stop him. I did. Poor John, was always supposed to be him and I. I got pregnant you know, by John. Just before we got married. I lost the baby. I was relieved. Can you fucking believe it? Relieved. I wasn't ready. I wanted to go to college. I would have never been able to do that with a child. I would have been a miserable mother anyway. I am the reason he cheated on me. I practically pushed him. He was devastated when we lost the baby. I couldn't stand to look at him, he thought I was cheating on him. I did nothing to prove otherwise. I knew he thought it, and I didn't care. Now he has wasted all these years being miserable with me. I am a mess Derek, don't waste your time on me. (She is crying hysterically. She has continually taken swigs from the bottle of Tequila. Derek cannot believe everything that has happened to her. A normal person would have collapsed a long time ago.)

Derek: Meredith you cannot blame yourself. You have to let go of the guilt. You have to forgive John, and yourself. It's what happened, life dealt you some shit, you have been through a lot, but you're OK. You made it. You survived. I love you Meredith, I am here for you. I promise, I will always love you, I will always be here for you. And John, he is worried sick. He cares about you, everyone does. You have an army of people standing behind you.

Meredith: (Smiles.) I love you Derek.

She lays her head on his shoulder, and passes out, but not before letting out a sigh of relief. Derek calls George and asks him if Izzie will bring him to pick up Meredith's Jeep. Derek carries Meredith to his car. On the way to her house he keeps talking to her even though she has passed out. He loves her, but after tonight, he has seen the trails that she and John have faced, together. He wants her to be with him, but he loves her enough to let her go. When he arrives at the house, John is at the door. Derek carries her upstairs to her room.

John: (Gives him a thankful look.) Thank you, Derek. I don't know how you found her, but thank you. (He looks at the smile on his wife's face. He loves her so much. It finally hits him, if she wants to, he loves her enough to let her go.)