30 Seconds To Game Over

Chapter One

When I bought Dynasty Warriors 5 I wasn't worried about being sucked into the game with no way back out. Frankly, I didn't think anything like that was possible. All I could think about was how much fun it was going to be to actually kick my brother's ass at something. Oh, and I couldn't wait to see how gorgeous the male characters were. What can I say? I'm a sucker for fictional men. Can't seem to find the perfect guy in my own world, so why not fantasize about one in another world? Even if it is fictional. Well, kind of. The characters were alive once, if I'm not mistaken. But oh well, something is better than nothing, right? Anywho, back to my story. Where was I? Oh yes. I bought DW. I was happy. No, wrong word. I was FLIPPING OUT MY FRIGGIN' MIND. More than one word, but who needs to get into technicalities? I couldn't wait to get home and start playing.

I should've waited. I should've waited. I should've waited...

But no. When my mind is set on something, it's SET. No changing, no re-routing. It is STABLE.

So, I get home. No one's there. Go figure. Due to all of the excitement I had forgotten that my brother had soccer practice after school on Thursdays. And naturally my mother would be there, cheering for him on the side lines. You never spotted her at one of my art shows, smiling at me because of the praise my newest painting was getting. Nope. She'd rather be indulging my sports star brother, shoving anything and everything he wants into his smug little face. Do I get spoiled beyond repair? Nooooooooo. I get hand-me-downs from the next door neighbor's daughter who's off in Alaska somewhere, trying to find a way to stop global warming. Oh, and get this. My mom can't stop talking about her. "Oh, Regina is soooooooooo accomplished. She's such an intelligent girl. She'll make a lucky man very happy one day! Leigh, why can't you be influenced by a girl with such high standings? This art phase will get you nowhere. No a doctor! That is a profession to be proud of!"

Somebody shoot me now. Please. Don't make me suffer any longer. I'm begging you.

So, I'm home alone. That's been established quite thoroughly, if I'm not mistaken. Not one to wait patiently for others, I drop my bag at the door and bolt to the living room. As I set up the game, I randomly think about running to the kitchen to get a snack. I could be in for a long night, especially when my brother gets home and sees my new toy. He won't want to quit until he's won, and believe me, hell will freeze over before that happens. However, all previous thoughts are erased from my mind as the opening credits come onto the television screen. Coooooooooool... There's Zhao Yun in all his sexy glory, kicking ass with his big ass spear. Wow, that's a lot of people. Now do you question my love for these men? Hot and brave. It can't get any better than that. As I'm musing over how awesome this game is (and I haven't even played it yet) the screen suddenly flickers. I blink, startled out of my trance. The Tv starts to get fuzzy, the LOUD kind. I hit the side of it, hoping to knock something back into place. The screen goes black.

Stage one of Panic Mode has now commenced.

But before I have a chance to properly start panicking, the screen comes back to life. A smile starts to form on my face. A grateful, thankful smile, for fate truly loves upon me.

Yeah. Right.

If I had the blessing of some higher power, the game would have continued where it had left off. Or better yet, the screen wouldn't have had total mood swing and almost sent me into shock. Instead of resuming normality, it decides to continue with the strangeness. I'm not fond of strangeness. Not now anyway. On the screen now is the same dusty wasteland that Zhao Yun had been previously kicking ass on. However, no longer is the hot warrior on the screen. It's just a wasteland. Wasteful. Empty.

Until Zou Ci walks onto the screen. I know who he is, thanks to my good friend the internet. Otherwise, I would be wondering why in the hell some old guy in a dress and some funky hat that is way too large for his head has just randomly walked into a desert wasteland in a game full of amour clad men and enviously beautiful women warriors. He just stands there, shuffling a deck of cards. He does this for quite some time, until I get bored and jam my finger down on the start button. This is wasting my time. I. Want. To. Kick. Some. Butt.

Nothing happens.

Now thoroughly confused, I press the button again. Still nothing. I press it again. And again. And again.

"That doesn't seem to be working very well."

Slowly, ever so slowly, I lift my head to look at the screen. Zou Ci has moved closer to the camera (where it would be if he was an actor in a movie) and is looking straight at me. I blink. I'm not quite sure what is going on and it hasn't really registered in my little mind yet that a character in a game is talking to me. Blink.

"Uh..." I so intelligently say.

He smiles. It's creepy. I back away. Very slowly.

"I don't think so, my dear. You have a destiny to fulfill."

Panic Mode: re-established.

Before I can so much as open my mouth to argue (with a game, I know, it's sad) the world starts to spin wildly out of control. And I've never liked spinney rides at amusment parks and what not, for the simple reason that they make me faint. Don't know why. They just do. And guess what happens next? Damn your good.

Chapter One: Completed! So whatcha think so far? Like? Then review. Yes, I'm talking to you. If you don't review Umi will cry BIG GLOPING TEARS. And then sick Zou Ci on you. Look out. He'll give you a paper cut. XD