Whew! I worked my butt off to get this chapter posted as quickly as possible. It's a bit longer and not so humorous as my previous ones, but still has some pizzaz and laughs to it. This is mainly an explaining chapter - you know, have to describe Wu! Anywho, I hope you all enjoy it and I will try to get the next chapter posted as soon as possible. It might take some time though. I have some drawings I need to get done for school. Enjoy!

Umi

30 Seconds To Game Over

Chapter Three

To be honest, I really wasn't that enthused about meeting the emperor. On the contrary, I WAS SCARED OUT OF MY FRIGGIN' MIND. I had a pretty good feeling about who the Emperor of Wu was, and it really wasn't helping my mood. What if this guy believed the Scary Men With Sharp Items instead of Lu Xun? What was I going to do then? I've done my history homework and believe me, being blamed as a spy in a court full of tough guy soldiers NEVER turns out well in the end for the accused. So as our group was walking through the palace's beautiful garden walk ways, into the gorgeous, elaborately golden halls, all the way to the gigantic red oak door leading into the Throne Room, my mind was doing jumping jacks in my head. With each jump a new escape plan formed. With each landing an echoing pound resounded. Oh, did I mention I was a little on the nervous side?

When we stopped outside the door to the Throne Room, waiting to be announced, I felt a shaking hand on my shoulder. I looked to my left and saw Xun gazing at me with concern.

"Are you alright, my lady? You shaking like a tree in the breeze. I do hope that fall didn't shake you up too badly," he said softly.

Oh. I was the one shaking. Go figure. I mean, look at the day I was having. Can you blame me? I forced a smile and shook my head slightly.

"Yes, my lord, I'm alright. I guess I'm just a little nervous," I mumbled. "It's not everyday you meet royalty."

"Do not worry," he replied, his smile returning to his face as her removed his hand from my shoulder. "My Lord Sun Jian is a kind and generous man. He will not harm you."

Sun Jian. So I was right. Sure, he was one of my favorite characters in the game, but he could also be ruthless (like I said, I've done my history homework. Once you really get into the game you just have to know about the real people). The giant door creaked open painfully slow and we were ushered in by a couple servants (I guess they were servants. But they were dressed much more nicely than most of the servants I've seen in history textbooks. They actually had shoes).

I really wish that door had stayed closed.

The room was enormous. The ceiling must have been fifty feet high. The floor was made totally of white marble that shone blindly bright where incoming sun rays from the high arched windows hit it. There was a golden mural the stretched from the door all the way to the throne, depicting a massive tiger leading an army into battle. There were tons of people packed into the room, and some I recognized as characters in DW. The were all standing on red mats and smiling at Lu Xun as he walked by. When they saw me, their smile turned into a look of curiousness. Whispering broke out among the crowd, and I received a few points and stares. I kept my head bowed and walked behind Xun.

"Lord Xun!"

Wow. I must say, Koei can pick the voices. Sun Jian's voice boomed out across the room as we reached him. Lu Xun and the Scary Men With Sharp Items (not to mention all the of the courtiers) all kneeled and bowed low to the emperor, leaving me standing like the idiot that I am. They weren't down there for long because Jian quickly walked down from the raised platform he was on and bid them all to stand. He clasped hands with each warrior and told them they may return home to their loved ones. The Scary Men With Sharp Items thanked him and then left the hall (which I decided what this room was, since it was so friggin' long), to my extreme relief. That was short lived however. As soon as they were gone, Sun Jian turned his gaze on me.

Stage one of Panic Mode now recommencing.

"And who might this be, Xun? Did you finally decide to take a slave? I told you would change your mind one of these days!" he boomed, laughing. The rest of the court laughed with him.

I think Lu Xun and I were the only ones not laughing. I was very glad to see that he wasn't laughing. Because if he had started laughing along with the rest of the court I think I might of done something very drastic. Like maybe have run over to Gan Ning (who was currently grinning like the mad pirate he his), wrestled his sword from him (which probably wouldn't work anyways) and gone on a mad-crazy-killing-spree.

SUN JIAN THOUGHT I WAS LU XUN'S SLAVE!

Instead of feeling scared beyond my imagination that I might in fact be made into a slave, I became very angry. I had not wasted almost a dozen years in the prison our government called school to be made into some ancient Chinese general's worker girl.

Bite me, Sun Jian.

However, before I could retaliate and begin biting off the emperor's oversized head, Lu Xun intervened.

"My lord, I have not taken this girl as my slave," he said, somewhat crossly in my opinion. Sun Jian looked from my angry face to Xun's blank one.

"Then, she is your wife?"

Somebody shoot me. I don't care if it's with a gun or some ancient crossbow, just get it over with.

"My lord, the soldiers found this girl just outside the Wu territory. She was unconscious. I couldn't very well leave her out there, so we brought her back with us. She means us no harm, my lord," he added quickly, seeing the alarmed look that flashed onto Jian's face. "She doesn't remember where her home is. Just her name."

Sun Jian looked at me, his expression still stern. "And how do we know that this girl is telling us the truth, Lord Xun? She could be a spy, as you very well know." He turned to Xun again.

The court was dead silent as Xun answered. "Because I trust her my lord."

This surprised me quite a bit. Xun had just met me not even an hour ago, and he was telling his emperor that he trusted me? I didn't even trust myself! This was apparently a good enough answer for Jian, for he laughed loudly again, easing the tension in the room by a mile.

"Well, my friend, your judgement has never been wrong. If you trust this girl, then all is well with her. Though I must say, her clothes are some of the strangest I have ever seen..."

Once again, attention was focused on the weirdo girl with the weirdo clothes. Not only had I fallen from the sky (which Xun so conveniently forgot to mention to Sun Jian...), but I was also wearing attire that wouldn't be invented for another million years or so. Give or take.

"I shall take of her wardrobe."

I turned around at the sound of the female voice and my mouth nearly dropped open. Da Qiao was standing in the crowd of kneeling courtiers. She was dressed in a long golden yellow robe, trimmed in ruby red, with her long black hair pulled back into an elaborate style that must haven taken forever to do. She had earrings that reached to her shoulders, and flowers and beads were entwined in her hair.

I was getting a wardrobe from her?

She made her way out of the crowd and walked gracefully toward the platform. Sun Jian smiled fondly at her.

"Ah, dear daughter. How gracious of you to offer your services. I thank you kindly," he said kissing her on both her cheeks. He turned towards his audience and opened his arms wide, as if to embrace them. "Tonight, we feast! In honor of the safe return of our brave warriors!"

Cheering erupted from the court. Da Qiao slipped her arm through mine and gently led me away from the commotion. I looked back at Lu Xun, worry written all over my face. But he merely smiled encouragingly at me and nodded for me to go on. I really didn't want to leave his side. For some reason, I felt compelled to cling to him again. The noise from the hall soon died down as Da led me to her living quarters. The hallway was brightly lit with many candles along the walls and the floor here was of very dark wood that was so shiny I could see my reflection in it as clearly as if it were a mirror. Da didn't say anything as we walked on. She just hummed pleasantly to herself until we reached our destination.

"Here we are," she said softly, nodding to a young boy who was sitting on the ground. He quickly jumped to his feet and opened the door for us to enter.

Only one word can sum up the awe I felt when I saw Da Qiao's room (or should I say rooms? For there was much more than just one). And that word would be "WOW."

Talk about living like a princess. This girl had to be the Paris Hilton of Ancient China! She even had a little dog lying on her bed, who immediately began wagging its tail when we entered. Well, when Da entered. It growled when it saw me, the little...

The first room in Da's quarters was a sitting room, with deep red couches and poufs all over the place. There was a large fireplace in the corner, unlit because of the warm summer air. The adjacent room was Da's bedroom, which consisted of a very large, dark wooden canopy bed (no roll out mats for this Wu general!) with sheets and blankets that were all different shades of pink (I was literally blinded by the sheer girlyness of it all...). She had a sheer white curtain around her bed that was pulled back to the sides all fancy like. Their was a deep red rug on the floor and a vanity and chair a little ways to the side. The last room was a bathroom, but much more elaborate than any I had ever seen. She had her own hot spring in there! A gigantic marble tub sat in the middle of the room, with stairs leading into it like a pool. The was a curtained area where I guessed the toilet was and then a marble counter and sink near it.

Like I said. Paris friggin' Hilton. Just not so "I've got money and you don't."

Da led through the sitting room and into her bedroom, where she then proceeded to make her way to a door near her bed. It was a closet. A really BIG closet. With A LOT of clothes inside. As she dug through the contents I fidgeted with my skirt nervously. I'd never worn anything really nice before. All I'd ever gotten was hand-me-downs. I didn't know how to treat fine clothing, and knew that within a matter of moments it would be destroyed. Da emerged after a few minutes holding a beautiful pink robe, embroidered with deep red flowers. Only problem: it was pink.

"This used to be my sisters, when she was very small. Well, smaller than she is now," she corrected herself, smiling. "It was to be my daughter's when she is born, but you may have it. It should fit your figure nicely."

She handed me the robe and lead me into her bath house (It was far grander than any bathroom, so I felt weird calling it that). She waited for to change outside of the door, but ended up having to come and help me into the garment, to my embarssment. Once it was correctly tied on sashed, she led me to her vanity table and sat me down. My hair was a little dusty from the horse ride, but there wasn't enough time to wash it. So Da merely pulled it back into a simple bun, and placed a beaded pin into it. Then she picked up a jar of kohl.

And I stood.

"My dear, what is the matter?" she asked, giving me a confused look.

"Um...I'm sorry. I appreciate all of this, but I really must draw the line at make-up," I replied, playing with the overly long sleeve of newly acquired robe. "I mean, it's not like I'm pretty anyway, and I don't think that make-up will help me."

Da grabbed my arm, none too gently, and pushed me back down onto the seat.

"I will have none of that, little miss," she said sternly, resuming with the make-up. "You are, without a doubt, a very beautiful lady. And a beautiful lady never goes into public without looking elegant and gracious. Now sit still."

A miserly half an hour later.

Da clicked the top shut on her lest jar of evil face creme and smiled.

"There. You look gorgeous."

I turned to the mirror slowly, ready to see the bride of Frankenstein. I was shocked, however, to find that the girl in the mirror not only did not look like a hideous monster but also did not look like me. This girl was actually attractive. That must have been Instant Face Creator Creme that Da had used because I had never seen make-up do this for my mother. I had kohl around my eyes, bringing out the the weird hazel color they were. My lips were painted deep red and I had pink eye shadow. I had some blush on as well, turning my cheeks a lovely shade of pink. Before I could come out of my state of awe, someone knocked at the door.

"It's time to go," Da said.

Urgh. I'm no very happy wih this chapter. I'm going to make the next one more funny. And I have that Dainty Kane song stuck in my head. I like that song, but it's starting to really get on my nerves... "We're in the car... We're all smashed... We're ditsy and we're probably gonna crash..." Not the real words, but who gives flying monkey's arse. Anywho. R&R, please! Love, Umi-Chan