DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

Meredith awoke in Derek's arms. Today she had to go to Boston. At least Derek was coming with her. It would be awkward, there is no question about it. She decided that she would introduce him as a friend of she and John's. She was hoping he wouldn't be offended. She was going to talk to him about it first. She wasn't really worried about what everyone thought about Derek being there. She didn't care, she didn't owe them anything. They wouldn't know that they came together. She had booked the loft suite at the Langham Hotel for she and Derek. Meredith also made arrangements for everyone to come there after the funeral to eat.

Derek: Do you ever sleep?

Meredith: When I don't have to travel across the nation to bury my husband, yes I do.

Derek: Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

Meredith: I shouldn't have snapped. It's stressful. Who knows who is going to show up. Probably our friends from college and high school. It will be weird, to see them under these circumstances. And telling Lois is not something I want to do. I am going to introduce you as our friend. Is that OK?

Derek: I wouldn't have it any other way. I am your friend. (He kisses her.) Your very, very good friend. (He continues kissing her. She knows where he is going. As bad as she wants to, she isn't ready.)

Meredith: Not right now, OK? It's just too soon.

Derek: What time do we have to leave?

Meredith: In four hours.

Derek: Four hours!! I have to pack my stuff. I have to go to the trailer. (He jumps out of bed.)

Meredith: I have to pack too. I hate packing. John used to do it for me.

Derek: I hate packing too. Unless you like wrinkled clothes, you should probably do it yourself. (She throws a pillow at him.)

Meredith: Thanks! You go to the trailer. Just make sure you are back here in time. Izzie is taking us to the airport.

Derek: OK. See you in a couple of hours. (Kisses her goodbye.)

Izzie showed up right on time. Meredith was already nervous, and if Izzie had been late she probably would have flew off the handle.

Izzie: I wish I could be there with you, Mer. I just can't get off right now.

Meredith: It's OK, Iz, I have Derek. I just shouldn't be doing this, ya know?

Izzie: Life sucks.

Meredith: Yeah it does.

Izzie: So when are you coming back?

Meredith: We will be back in four days. I want to spend a little time with Lois. She doesn't know yet.

Izzie: I'm sorry you have to go through this. (She hugs her.)

The ride to the airport was silent. No one knew what to say. Meredith had heard how sorry people are so many times, she was ready to run herself into the wall. Izzie dropped them off at the door. She had to get back to the hospital. Derek and Meredith made it through security quickly. John used to hate going through the checkpoints, especially when they made him take off his shoes. Derek didn't seem to mind at all. Meredith and Derek were unable to get seats together on the plane. Meredith had gotten her ticket before she knew Derek was coming.

Attendant: I'm sorry, Sir, we cannot let you switch seats. Because of all the new security measures, it is not permitted.

Derek: OK. (Turns to Meredith.) Isn't this great?

Meredith: Yeah, no kidding. We aren't even close to each other. Well, have a good flight. (He kisses her.)

Derek: You too. (Meredith takes her seat. She has an aisle seat. She wanted the window, but they didn't have any open. The woman who has the seat next to her walks up, takes her seat and smiles. She looks like she is around Meredith age, maybe a little older.)

Woman: Hi, I'm Beth.

Meredith: I'm Meredith.

Beth: Are you coming or going?

Meredith: I live in Seattle.

Beth: I am going home, to Boston. I was here to see my sister.

Meredith: Oh that's nice. (Meredith wasn't in the mood to talk.)

Beth: Oh, now that's just creepy.

Meredith: What's that?

Beth: The are loading a casket. I am going to be flying with a corpse. (Meredith looks down at the runway and feels nauseous. Knowing that it was her husband in the box made her feel really upset.) Are you OK? You look pale.

Meredith: That corpse is my husband. (She felt angry, she wanted to shove Beth's head into the window.)

Beth: Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. I had no idea. You're so young. Geez, I'm sorry. (Meredith ignored her and closed her eyes. She was very unhappy to be seated next to this moron. She willed the plane to take off. This flight couldn't go fast enough.)

The flight did go quickly. Meredith had fallen asleep for a few hours. She awoke to the captain saying that they were almost there. She leaned out from her seat to see if she could spot Derek. She couldn't see him, and she was upset. She felt like she needed him. She needed him to tell her everything is OK. Meredith met right up with Derek when they got off of the plane. She was relaying the story of her journey.

Derek: She actually said that?

Meredith: Yeah. I really wanted to hurt her. I never get mad like that. I don't know what came over me.

Derek: Grief. It makes you do things very unlike you.

Meredith: (Grabs his hand.) I'm glad you're here. I need you.

Derek: I will always be here for you, Meredith.

They gathered their luggage and picked up a rental car. It was a black BMW. She wanted to drive something nice. John would want everyone to know that he was successful. He came from nothing, and made himself into something great. That had always meant a lot to him. They made it to the hotel in record time. Their room was beautiful.

Derek: This is nice.

Meredith: Yes, it is. I'm glad I made the right choice. I have picked bad ones before. I need to go see Lois. I also need to make sure everything is ready for tomorrow.

Derek: I was going to check out the downtown. I figured it would be uncomfortable if I went with you.

Meredith: You're probably right. Lois may get upset.

Derek: You take the car. I'll get a cab. This is your home you know where everything is.

Meredith: Sounds good. I'll be back in a few hours. We can go to dinner when I get back.

Derek: Sounds good.

Meredith checked in with the funeral home. Everything was ready. She decided to go to Lois'. She was dreading it, but she had to tell Lois. Lois had to know that her son had passed away. Meredith drove down the familiar tree lined street. So many memories went through her head. She and her mother had lived in the upper-class neighborhood about ten minutes away. But Lois' was her home. This was where she spent her childhood. Playing in these streets, walking hand in hand with John. She pulled up to the familiar brick ranch home. It looked the same as it always had. She slowly walked up the sidewalk to the door. Kelly, the nurse opened the door as she walked up.

Kelly: You must be Meredith.

Meredith: Yes, and you must be Kelly. John said you were great with her. How is she?

Kelly: She's not good. She sleeps most of the time. She hasn't been out of her bed in a week. They have inserted a catheter.

Meredith: (Tears up.) I'm going to go see her.

Kelly: OK.

Meredith walked through the house quietly. She had tears running down her cheeks. She remembered all the times Lois had cooked them dinner. She remembered hanging out watching t.v. with John. She walked by John's room. It was the same as it had been when they lived there. It hurt her to look at it. Things were so perfect back then. They didn't seem like it then, but now she realizes how lucky she was to have them. Meredith walked into Lois' room. She looked so frail. She had lost a lot of weight and her skin was very pale. She sat down next to her bed and held her hand. Lois didn't wake up. Meredith just sat there with memories going through her head for and hour and a half. Kelly finally came in.

Kelly: Has she woken up?

Meredith: No. What is she on? (Kelly gave her a list of medications, and Meredith knew them all.) She probably won't wake up when she's on all this. It's probably for the best, she is in a lot of pain. (Meredith stood up and kissed Lois on the cheek.) I will be back tomorrow, after the funeral.

Kelly: OK

Meredith felt like she should stay with Lois but she couldn't. Emotionally is was too much for her. Lois would understand. Meredith made her way to the hotel. When she got up to the room Derek was reading.

Derek: How did it go?

Meredith: She's not conscious. I couldn't stay. Oh Derek. (She begins crying and he holds her.)

Derek: It's OK, Mer. Everything will be OK.

Meredith and Derek went out to dinner at an upscale restaurant downtown. The food was great, but Meredith's heart wasn't in it. Derek decided that they should go back to the hotel. He would bring her back her one day, and they would have a good time. This wasn't a vacation. As soon as they got back to the hotel, Meredith started a bath. She came out and grabbed a glass of wine. She only drank wine when she was depressed.

Meredith: Are you coming?

Derek: Where?

Meredith: I want you in my tub. (They silently laid in the tub, Meredith in Derek's arms.)

The next morning Meredith was a wreck. Nothing seemed to be going right. Her hair wouldn't way the right way, her dress didn't feel right. She was upset that she had to be doing this. She quietly went into the bathroom. She had to cry, she didn't want Derek to see her. Derek got dressed, and didn't see Meredith anywhere. He got near the bathroom and her heard her. He slowly opened the door, and walked over to Meredith who was sitting on the floor.

Derek: Meredith, don't do this. You don't have to be strong, but you can't fall apart. Not now, not ever. I need you. John wouldn't want you to do this to yourself.

Meredith: I'm OK. I just needed to cry. I just felt like crying. What time is it?

Derek: It's time to go.

Meredith quietly rode alone in the limousine to the grave site. Derek drove the rental car. It just wouldn't be proper for him to ride with her. John had no other family, just like her. All she had was her Mother, and she didn't even have her. She had Derek, she reminded herself, he was all she needed. Meredith couldn't believe how many people were there. There were more people here than there were in Boston. She sat silently during the service, a few rouge tears creeping out. She tried to stop them, but she couldn't. When the service was over she laid a single rose on his casket. That was it. He was gone forever. She would never again see his smile, or ouch his skin. Her heart ached.

Meredith was feeling better when she arrived at the hotel. She wasn't looking forward to talking to all of these people. Not under the circumstances. She would feel better if people would quit telling her how sorry they are. She knows. It's sad. Everyone's sorry. She spoke with a lot of the people. There were a few she didn't know, mostly clients. She noticed a few of John's professors, they all talked about how proud they were of him. John's first boss was there. They shared stories from the past. Meredith saw a group of her friends from high school. They weren't close friends. John was her best friends, they all just hung out together.

Jim: Meredith, you look great! I'm so sorry. He loved you so much. How are you holding up?

Meredith: I'm OK. As good as to be expected.

Jim: So how is Seattle?

Meredith: It's great. I love the hospital.

Jim: He was so proud of you. He said you were going to be a better neurosurgeon than your mother.

Meredith: I hope so, some day.

Meanwhile:

Stan: So how did you know John?

Derek: We um- Well Meredith, John, and I were all friends. In Seattle.

Stan: I went to college with him. How is she holding up? You know he loved her so much. It was unbelievable. I feel so bad for her. I don't know how she will go on without him.

Derek: She has a lot of friends who are there for her.

Stan: Well, nice meeting you.

Derek walked over to Meredith. He wanted her to know that he was there for her, no matter what. A group of friends was standing in the corner watching her interact with Derek.

Sam: So, do you think she waited for John to get cold before she started screwing him?

Kel: Sam! We don't know what's going on. He's just a friend.

Tony: Yeah, some friend. Look at them, it's so obvious.

Jen: You guys are horrible. She is our friend.

Kel: Was, she was our friend. After she went to med school, we didn't hear from them at all.

Derek made his way across the room, away from Meredith.

Jackson: You must be Derek.

Derek: Yes, I am. Do I know you?

Jackson: I was John's best friend, since high school. I know all about you. I know about the dates. I don't agree with it.

Derek: I'm sorry?

Jackson: John was out of his mind. He should have known he couldn't give her any rope. She had drifted away from him. They went through a lot. He loved her so much. It was crazy. He lived for her and her alone. His whole life was based on Meredith. He planned every step for her. He knew he had lost her to you. He told me, that she had fallen in love with someone else. If he hadn't died, she would have killed him when she picked you. He couldn't live without her. I don't hold it against you, because I can see that you make her happy. I just want you to know that her was willing to let her go because he loved her. Make it all worth it, don't break her heart. (He walks away leaving Derek in shock.)

Mora: Meredith!

Meredith: Shit! (It was Mora. They called her 'Mora the whore-a'. She was out to get anyone's boyfriend or husband. She was a gold digger. She had tried forever to take John from Meredith. Meredith heard that she had been married 6 times, gaining money every time.) Mora! (She put on her best fake smile.)

Mora: How are you? (She was so fake it was sickening.)

Meredith: I'm OK. I will be OK. I miss him, you know?

Mora: He was a great guy. Very successful, I hear.

Meredith: Oh yes. He did very well for himself.

Mora: (Pointing to Derek.) Who's that handsome man?

Meredith: (She felt fire. Mora was not even going to try it with Derek, no way!) Oh, that's just Derek. He was a client of John's. He's a clown.

Mora: Oh, a class clown. I've always had a thing for funny guys.

Meredith: More like any guys. No, he's literally a clown. He does birthday parties. John got him off for murder. If you ask me, he did it. He only kills old people, so we didn't worry when we hired him to be our landscaper. She'll never want a murder/landscaper/clown, right? That was pretty lame, even for me.

Mora: Oh, what a creep, you'd never know it from looking at him!

Meredith: Well, I have to go. Thanks for coming.

Everyone finally left. Meredith was relieved. She and Derek made there way up to the hotel room. A lot had happened today. She just wanted to go rest. She felt like if she ever heard the word sorry again, she was going to blow up.

Meredith: So how bad was it for you?

Derek: It was fine. I was there for you and you alone. Although I have to admit I was surprised when a woman named Mora tried to pick me. Especially when she knew that I was a murdering clown! (Meredith busted out laughing.)

Meredith: I'm sorry. I thought she would leave you alone.

Derek: Evidently it intrigued her.

Meredith: She has no shame!

Derek: In the future, please let me know what I am supposed to be. (Meredith just laughs. It's good to see her smile.)

Meredith decided to go back over to Lois' for awhile. When she got there, Kelly said Lois was doing really bad. She seemed like she was in a great amount of pain. Meredith sat down next to Lois' bed, and held her hand. She was surprised when Lois opened her eyes.

Lois: Meredith.

Meredith: Mom!

Lois: I'm so tired, Mer. I'm just tired.

Meredith: I know, Mom, I know.

Lois: You know I am so proud of you, right? You grew up to be a spectacular woman. I knew you would. I need to know that you will be OK.

Meredith: I will be OK. I will miss you, but don't hold on for me. (She is crying.) I love you, Mom.

Lois: Honey, what's wrong? Something is wrong, it's not me.

Meredith: Oh mom. (She is bawling.) There was an accident.

Lois: What accident?

Meredith: John, he's, he's.

Lois: What?

Meredith: He's dead.

Lois: Oh my God. (She starts crying,) My son, my son. What happened?

Meredith: He fell on a fence.

Lois: When?

Meredith: Three days ago. The funeral was today. We buried him next to Bella.

Lois: Oh my God. (She was inconsolable. Meredith just held her hand and cried. Lois quieted down and fell asleep. Meredith stayed, she couldn't leave. Not after seeing Lois that way. Meredith had drifted to sleep, she woke up several hours later to Lois.) Meredith, I love you. (She took one last breath. She was gone. Meredith cried. She was sad. She knew that Lois was no longer in pain, and she was with her son. That gave her comfort.)

Lois didn't want a funeral. She wasn't that type of person. She wanted to leave this world silently, with no one crying and coming around. She said people always acted differently when someone died. She didn't like that. Meredith and Derek stayed in Boston until she was buried. They were the only two that were there. Derek held Meredith as she cried. She had lost her husband and her mom within a few days. Most people would have lost there mind by now. Meredith and Derek flew back to Seattle together. He held her hand the whole way. When the plane landed Meredith looked over at Derek.

Meredith: It's good to be home. It's good to be home, with you.