DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

It's been a month. Meredith has been distant lately. Derek isn't sure what to do. He is getting worried. Izzie is still not talking to Alex. He has tried to say he was sorry, but she won't even acknowledge his existence. George is happy with Dr. Torres and they have moved in together, he was sharing an apartment with Izzie. Meredith is working with Dr. Burke today, and Izzie is with Dr. Shepherd.

Burke: We have an aortic repair today. I need you to get the patient prepped. We will be in OR two.

Meredith: OK.

Meredith started prepping the patient. She was young, about the same age as Meredith. It bothered her. She had been so luckily health wise and she never really thought about it. You never know what you have until it's gone. She met Dr. Burke in the scrub room.

Burke: So, you and Shepherd. How are you doing?

Meredith: Good.

Burke: That's good. Cristina and I, well, you know Cristina.

Meredith: Give her time. She'll come around.

Burke: I hope so. She doesn't share anything personal with me.

Meredith: Don't feel bad, she doesn't with me either. I am supposed to be her person, I know nothing.

Burke: That's Cristina for you. (They walk into the OR.)

Meanwhile in the operating room with Derek and Izzie:

Derek: So, you and Karev still on the outs? (She shot him a look.) I take that as a no.

Izzie: I'm moving on. Mer seems to be doing good. She is happy, happier than I have ever seen her.

Derek: Not as happy as you think, not lately. She makes me happy. Unbelievably happy.

Izzie: That's great. When you find that, you can't let it go.

Derek: I think you are right. Has she talked to you? About the trial.

Izzie: The trial? What trial.

Derek: I take it that's a no. Ray is on trial for John's murder. She hasn't said anything about it. She is putting up walls. She went to court on her day off. I tried to talk about it, but she just shut me out.

Izzie: It's hard for her. You just have to give her space.

Derek: Last time she had space, she started to self-destruct.

Izzie: She isn't the talking-about-her-feelings type of person. You will never change that.

Derek: I think I'm learning that. You know she means a lot to me. What do you think about- Oh never mind.

Izzie: What?

Derek: It's too soon. Nothing.

Izzie: Oh my God!

Derek: What?

Izzie: You want to ask her, don't you. You want to ask her to marry you. (He doesn't look at her, and he doesn't answer.)

Both surgeries went smoothly. Meredith and Izzie were eating lunch in the basement. Izzie didn't want to run into Evil Spawn. The hide out there often. Cristina came walking down the hall, looking like her usual pleasant self.

Meredith: Don't you look happy.

Cristina: Yeah, the pit will do that to you. Oh, McDreamy is looking for you.

Meredith: Oh, God he probably wants to talk.

Izzie: You should. Talk. It would be good. He wants to listen.

Meredith: Were you talking to him about me? (Getting frustrated.)

Izzie: Uh, no. Give him a break! He want's to marry you!

Meredith: OK, this conversation is over. (Derek comes walking down the hall.) Oh shit.

Derek: Are you hiding from me?

Meredith: Yeah.

Derek: I like honesty. Now why are you hiding from me?

Meredith: Because you seem to have a vagina now, all you want to do is talk. I like the sex fiend Derek much better, he was quiet and fun.

Derek: There is more to a relationship than sex.

Cristina: Seriously? You are a man, right? (He shoots her a look.) Never mind.

Derek: We are all here, your supportive friends. Talk. What's going on with the trial?

Meredith: I don't want to talk about that. (She is getting angry.)

Derek: Well, the Emerson's called and left a message. You need to figure out what you are doing with Lois' house in Boston. They can't take care of it forever. It can't just sit. You have to do something. Things don't go away if you ignore them.

Meredith: Why can't you just shut the hell up and leave me alone? (She knew he was right, but she didn't want to deal with it.) You are everywhere. I can't stand it! I turn around, and there you are. Just let me be. Leave me the hell alone! (She yelled, and ran away.)

Derek: Meredith! Mer, wait. (He shakes his head.)

Cristina: Yeah, I'd say she's not OK about this.

Izzie: Ya think?

Derek heads off to find her. She ducked in a supply closet. She saw his pass by. She wasn't in the mood to talk to him. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. She was angry, and upset, and sad. She couldn't share her feeling. She just didn't know how. She wanted to sulk, she wanted to be left alone. She knew Derek cared for her. She wasn't a fool. John, he was busy with school, then work. He left her alone. That is what she was accustomed to. Derek was always around. They worked in the same place, and now her mother was coming. What the hell was she going to do about that. Even Ellis was happy. Why did every one have to be so damn happy? She called and got a plane ticket to Boston. She would go. Make him happy. At least there, she could finally get some peace and quiet. She talked to Richard, he agreed to let her take 3 days off. She avoided Derek at all costs. She hoped he would have an emergency surgery, then she wouldn't have to talk to him before she left. When she got home, the house was empty. She made her way upstairs and quickly packed her bags. Her flight was leaving tonight. She took a quick shower, and called a cab. She left Derek a short note on the counter:

Derek-

I went to Boston.

As you say, "I need to do something".

I'll be back in a few days.

-Meredith

Derek didn't really want to go home. He didn't want to deal with her. He felt terrible admitting it. She would get in moods, and she was difficult. He just needed to support her. Even if she didn't want him around, and he didn't want to be around, he still needed to be there. He pulled into the garage seeing her car. When he got in the house, he noticed a note. He was shocked. She didn't even call him before she left. She didn't sign the note 'love'. She just walked away. He knew that the "I need to do something" in quotes was a dig at him. He wished he could have fixed it. He wished she hadn't left mad at him. He dialed her number and it went straight to voicemail. He left her a message, telling her he loved her and he was sorry. He went upstairs, took a shower, and laid down in bed. He laid there for awhile. He grabbed her pillow. It smelled like her, he missed her, and she was only gone a few hours. But, really she had been gone for the last few weeks.

Meredith took the rental car to Lois' house. It was dark. It wasn't like it once was. It had an entirely different feel to it. No love, no hope. No person waiting in the chair for her to get home after a late night. The smell of cookies was lost. The smell of dark, stagnant air had taken over. She turned on several lights and looked around at everything she had lost. Now she had to deal with it. It was a mess. Why did it have to fall on her? She felt selfish, she should be happy. She has Derek. It was overwhelming. She had no idea what to do with everything. She couldn't deal with it tonight. She went into John's old bedroom and laid down, falling asleep within minutes.

Meredith woke up to the sun shining on her face. That was something she didn't often see in Seattle. She turned her phone on and saw that she had messages. They were from Derek. She listened. She felt so bad. She didn't know why she had pushed him away. She loved him. She was once again trying to sabotage herself. She decided she would call him later, it was much earlier in Seattle. Meredith spent the next day packing. She cried a lot. Looking at all of their things, remembering all of the memories. There was so much there. She loved Derek. She had to let go for him. She would never be able to have a life with him, when she was still stuck in the one that included John and Lois. A few neighbors came over and helped her pack. She couldn't believe how fast it was going. She made arrangements for everything to go into storage. The movers came in and loaded all of the furniture. She didn't have a ton of time to spend deciding what she wanted to keep, or take home. She would make another trip out. She just needed to get the house empty. After a while she went outside to gather the things in the yard. One of Lois' oldest neighbors walked over. She explained what was going on. With a twist of fate, they said that their child was looking for a house to rent. They were reliable, and would take care of the place. It made her happy. She wouldn't have to sell. She wasn't ready to sell.

The next day she looked around at the empty house. She smiled. Derek was right, she needed to do something. She needed to meet it head on. She felt at ease. She was ready to go home. She changed her flight, it cost a lot more, but she was going to be in Seattle by tonight. She was going to be back where she belonged, in Derek's arms. The flight went quickly, without delays. She tried to call Derek when she touched down. He didn't answer. She had forgotten to call him back. She hoped he wasn't mad. That wasn't possible, Derek didn't get mad, and he wasn't vindictive.

Meredith had the cab take her to the hospital. He didn't answer the home phone and she was sure that he was at the hospital. She made her way upstairs. She asked them to page him, they said he wasn't there. She dropped her head. She had to find him. She missed him. She had to tell him how sorry she was, and that she loved him. She began to walk to the elevator.

Cristina: Some friend you are! You didn't even tell me you were leaving!

Meredith: Derek was right. I needed to face it. Speaking of Derek, have you seen him?

Cristina: He left about an hour ago. I'm heading over to Joe's. Wanna join me?

Meredith: No, I think I need to find Derek.

Cristina: I'm sure he's there. Come on!

Meredith: OK. Maybe you are right. But if he isn't there, I'm leaving. I need to find him. I was so cold to him. I need to tell him that I love him.

Cristina: Oh gag me!

Meredith: Oh, shut up.

Meredith fills Cristina in on everything that had happened in Boston. Meredith was happy she couldn't wait to move on with her life. Ray's trial was still looming in her head, but taking care of Lois' house was like a huge boulder was lifted off of her shoulders. Meredith noticed Derek's car in the hospital parking lot. She was sure he was at Joe's. Her pace quickened. She needed to be near him. Cristina and Meredith were both talking and laughing when they walked into Joe's. Meredith scanned the room. She couldn't believe what she saw. She gasped.