DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

Meredith felt like the rug she was standing on was ripped out from under her. What she saw crushed her. Derek was at a pool table with a leggy blonde. The blond was taking her shot and Derek was pressed up against her, helping her. Time slowed down. Everything around her stopped. There are times in your life when you either fight or run. Fight or flight. You either pull out the big guns or you run and hide. Meredith flashed back to the night when she caught John. That was bad. It was horrible, but it was nothing like this. John was her friend, a brother and lastly a lover. She loved him, but she never gave him her whole heart. She had given Derek her whole heart, and now he was smashing it. She didn't fight for John and she didn't run. She just stayed. She looked at Derek and made her decision. She was running. She was running, and she wasn't going to stop.

Cristina: What the hell?

Meredith: Let's go. (She walks out.)

Cristina: That's it? You are just going to let McDreamy get away with that shit?

Meredith: I can't. I can't do it.

Cristina: I'm going back in! I'm going to kill him.

Meredith: No. Let's go.

She runs across the street to the hospital parking lot. She isn't sad. She is pissed. She is angry. She loved him. She loved him more than she had loved anyone. He knew what John cheating on her had done to her. She was damaged. She caught him. He didn't know that she was going to be home, she caught him in the act. When someone has intentions of doing something, and they are caught before the act is done; is it any better than if they didn't want to, or have the intentions to do it, and they do the act? John had planned on sleeping with that woman. He didn't actually do it, but he would have if Meredith hadn't come home. Even if had she known the whole truth when it happened, she have never forgiven him. It was one in the same. She was done. She was never giving her heart to anyone again.

Cristina: Holy shit, Mer. I can't believe you just did that!

She was is such a rage. She looked up at Cristina. She looked down at the knife. She had sliced all of Derek's tires. She wanted to got home and throw his things out the windows and burn his clothes. She wanted to be vindictive. She wanted to make him pay. She didn't, however, want to see him, or confront him. She wasn't the type to do this. She didn't do these things. She had never felt so much rage or hostility in her life.

Meredith: I did. He's lucky it wasn't his eyes.

Cristina: Where the hell have you been this whole time? I like this side of you. (She gets a look from Meredith.) OK, I'm sorry. Let's kill that McBastard.

Meredith: Thank you. I need a ride. I need you to take me to the hotel. I can't go home. I am going to run to the locker room and get my luggage.

Cristina: (In shock.) OK. (Meredith came walking quickly to the car with her bags.)

Meredith: Let's go.

Cristina doesn't know what to say. They ride silently to the hotel. Meredith called the hotel and booked a room. She was scared. She was never scared. She felt like she was alone again. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted Derek, but he obviously didn't want her. The pulled up the hotel.

Meredith: Just drop me at the door.

Cristina: No. I'll come in with you.

Meredith: What are you doing?

Cristina: Being a friend or whatever.

Meredith: We don't do supportive, remember.

Cristina: Well, I should try. Right?

Meredith: Oh no, you aren't practicing on me! I am too broken. You will make me worse. Leave. You have work tomorrow, right?

Cristina: Yeah. (Meredith walks away.) Hey, Mer? Are you sure you're OK?

Meredith: No, I'm not OK. I'm sure that I'm not. I won't be OK. But I just have to deal with it, on my own.

Cristina: OK.

Cristina drives off and Meredith makes her way into the hotel. She has no idea what to do. Well she knows what she's going to do. She is going to get drunk. She is going to mask her pain. She is going swimming in her favorite lake. Lake tequila. She went to the desk and picked up her key card. She went up to her room. It was a very nice room, she didn't plan on seeing it. She was going to drink herself into a nice, long coma. She threw her bags down on the floor and hustled down to the bar.

Earlier in the day:

Doctor: Derek, Derek Shepherd?

Derek: Craig Phelps?

Craig: How the hell have you been?

Derek: Great. Super. What brings you here?

Craig: I work here. Oncology. I started last week.

Derek: Wow. It's a small world, isn't it?

Craig: Yeah it is. How long have you been here?

Derek: A few years. Head of Neurology. Can you believe it?

Craig: Yeah, actually I can! You married?

Derek: Not yet. Close.

Craig: Close?

Derek: I've met the woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I just haven't gotten up the nerve to ask her. She's an intern here, actually. What about you?

Craig: That's great. I can't wait to meet her. I'm married. Five years. Kelly is great. Hey, I was thinking about checking out the bar across the street later. Have you ever been?

Derek: Joe's? Oh yeah, a lot.

Craig: You want to meet Dr. Burke, my wife and I later?

Derek: Oh, I don't know...

Craig: Come on...

Derek: OK, maybe one drink.

Craig: 7 o'clock?

Derek: Sounds good. (Derek heads down to get some lunch.)

Mark: What's going on?

Derek: Craig Phelps is working here.

Mark: Really? How funny is that.

Derek: Meredith hasn't called me back. I was pretty hard on her.

Mark: She just needs time. She will get over it!

Derek: I think I'm going to ask her.

Mark: Ask her what- Oh my God. Are you sure you want to do that? (Addison walks up.)

Addison: Do what?

Mark: Lover-boy here wants to ask Meredith to marry him.

Addison: You should.

Derek: Yeah?

Addison: Yeah. She'll say yes. She is so in love with you.

Derek: (Gives Mark a look.) See?

Mark: I'm telling you. Her husband just kicked the bucket.

Derek: I'm going to ask her. I have the conference in New York next week. I'm going to get the ring. You only live once, right?

Craig was a resident in New York when Derek was an intern. They had ended up being good friends. It just so happened that he was friends with Preston Burke, also. They all met up at Joe's they were laughing and having a good time. Craig introduced them all to his wife, Kelly. She is a tall leggy blonde with a bubbly personality. The complete opposite of Meredith. Derek like Meredith just the way her was. He couldn't stand to be with someone like Kelly. Derek talked about Meredith non-stop. Everyone could see that he was head over heels about her. Derek had a beer and told everyone he had to go. They convinced him to stay for a game of pool.

Craig: Derek is a great pool player.

Kelly: Really? I am horrible.

Derek: I doubt that.

Craig: No, she really is. Hey maybe you could give her some pointers? At least she wouldn't lose as miserably.

Kelly: (Smack him.) Hey! I'm not that bad. OK, I am.

Craig: Honey, yes you are! So what do you say?

Derek: One game, then I have to go.

Craig: Back to your girl?

Derek: She's in Boston, but I wanna get home and call her.

Craig: You can do that here, you know.

Preston: Not the kind of calls they make.

Craig: Oh... (Opens his eyes wide.)

Craig and Kelly started playing pool. He was right, she was horrible. Derek finally took pity on her. He walked up behind her and helped her make the shot. Little did he know, the love of his life was at the door, getting the wrong idea. After they finished with the game, Derek rushed out. He couldn't wait to get home to call Meredith. He walked across the road. He was astonished when he saw his car. One tire he could understand, but all four? He pissed someone off. He called for a cab and headed home. He would have to deal with this tomorrow.

Meanwhile back at the hotel bar:

Bartender: What can I get you?

Meredith: Tequila, straight up.

Bartender: Tequila, huh. You're going to hate yourself in the morning.

Meredith: I always do.

Bartender: I'm Keith.

Meredith: Nice to meet you. I'm Meredith. I never want to see an empty shot glass in front of me, OK?

Keith: No problem. (Meredith is downing shot after shot.) So what brings you here?

Meredith: My boyfriend is an ass.

Keith: I see that a lot.

Meredith: Are you married?

Keith: Nope.

Meredith: Girlfriend?

Keith: Nope.

Meredith: That's the way to go. Meaningless sex. No nagging, no relationship.

Keith: He really burned you, huh?

Meredith: The funny thing is, (Slamming another shot.) I thought he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I cheated on my husband with him. I cheated. Can you believe it?

Keith: Oh.

Meredith: You never keep the guy you cheat with. Common sense, if they cheat on someone, they'll do it to you too. I mean what kind of guy sleeps with a girl in her husband's house?

Keith: I don't know...

Meredith: The kind I love. Damn him. Damn him for making me love him. The irony is, my husband cheated on me before our wedding. I still married the asshole. I mean do I have a freaking sign on my back that says 'Please cheat on me!'? Seriously! Not to mention my mother treated me like shit my whole life. My husband and my mother-in-law died within a week of each other. My mother now wants to have some kind of freaking happy-joy relationship.

Keith: You have problems.

Meredith: I am dark and twisty. I am doomed to be unhappy for the rest of my life. Hey, didn't I tell you I didn't want to see an empty shot glass. (He pours.)

Keith: Sorry, I was listening. So what else?

Meredith: The guy that killed my husband is on trial, and I can't go because I can't deal.

Keith: Your husband was killed?

Meredith: Yeah. By the man that harassed me when I was younger.

Keith: You are lucky you haven't lost it.

Meredith: Who says I haven't?

Meredith doesn't notice there is a man that has been watching her all night long. He is sitting at a table sipping martinis, waiting for the opportune time.

Man: This one is going to be easier than I thought. One more shot and she'll fall into the bed.

Keith: Boy, you've drank your way through this bottle. I think you outta stop.

Meredith: I know when I need to stop! Two more shots, and I promise I'll leave. Now what the hell have you put in this stuff? (She is very drunk.)

Keith: Excuse me?

Meredith: I don't talk. Especially about my feelings. I have told you my life story.

Keith: Maybe I'm just a good listener.

Meredith: Maybe you are. (She downs her last shot, throws down her tab with a hefty tip.) Thanks. Oh and stay single!

Keith: You'll be OK, Meredith. It will work out.

Meredith is having a hard time walking to the elevator. She's been drunk before, but tonight she is almost incapacitated. She gets in the elevator and stares at the buttons which are all doubles. She closes one eye. Damn-it. Why did I do this to myself? Fucking Derek. Bastard. She pushes the button for her floor. The doors open. She doesn't even realize she's being followed.

Mugger: Give me your purse!

Meredith: NO!

Mugger: Listen, bitch. Give me your purse and no one gets hurt.

Meredith: Fuck you! (She hits him with the purse almost knocking herself down.)

Man: Son-of-a-bitch. (He punches her in the stomach. She doubles over.)

Man (From bar.): Hey! Hey, what are you doing? (The mugger runs away, leaving her purse.)

Man: (To Meredith.) Are you OK?

Meredith: Yeah. You saved me.

Man: Yeah, I guess I did. (He looks at her. He was going to sleep with her. She was his mark. He looked into her eyes. He had never seen anything like it. She was so sad, so broken. Not even he could take advantage of her.)

Meredith: You want to come to my room?

Man: I would love to. But I think you'd regret it in the morning.

Meredith: Yeah, you're probably right. Thank you again.

Man: Goodnight.

Meredith walked into her room and collapsed on the bed. Tomorrow she was going to run. She had all the money in the world. Forget internship. She could lay on a beach for the rest of her life, sipping drinks. Yep, that was the plan. Forget her dream of saving lives. Tomorrow she was heading south. Leaving it all behind. She sighed and then she was out. She was in a better place. A place where everything was black and quiet. She was happy in her hung over state. After a few hours she started dreaming. The dream was vivid, and angry. John was telling her that he never loved her. She had caught her and Derek in her room. They were having sex and he just walked right in. He threw Derek out of the house and came back up to her room, she was crying, clinging to the sheets. He yelled at her and called her a whore. She got up to run away and he grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. They started yelling back and forth. He punched her in the stomach. It hurt. It hurt bad. She jerks awake. He stomach is killing her. She rubs it and gets a shooting pain. It is almost unbearable. She dials Cristina's number.

Cristina: (Angrily.) If you are calling to cry over McDreamy, I don't want to hear it. I have to get up in a few hours.

Meredith: Oh my God. It hurts. (Her voice is weak and her breathing is labored.)

Cristina: I know, I know. (Sarcastically.) You're heartbroken.

Meredith: Cristina. (She cries out in pain.) It hurts.

Cristina: (Panicking.) Mer. MER? What's going on? Mer? (No answer.)

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I'm so sorry to leave you hanging yesterday. I only have time to write one chapter a day. Happy Grey's day! If you hear screaming when the show is over, that's me. It's because it didn't go the way I wanted! Hoping for the best!