A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, they are always appreciated. I know that most of you thought Stephanie was crazy, but well, I hope to shed a little light on it. I hope you enjoy what you read as I'm really excited about this story, as some of you know. ;)
Please leave another review after you've hopefully enjoyed the chapter, and as always, italics are flashbacks. :)
-------------------------------------------------
"Yes, so we can confirm that you're pregnant. You're about seven weeks along, we should schedule a full examination for you in a couple of weeks."
Stephanie smiled. "Thank you. It's a relief to get that confirmation."
"Okay, I'm always happy to inform people."
"Yeah, thanks."
Stephanie stood up and shook her doctor's hand and walked out of the room with a smile on her face. She smiled her way to the receptionist to make her next appointment and she smiled her way down to the lobby and out to her car and then she smiled as she closed the door. That's where her smile faded and her tears began.
She put both her hands on top of the steering wheel and leaned her head on them as she cried. She had been suspecting she was pregnant for the past few weeks, ever since she was late, but she had hesitated going to the doctor because she didn't want it to be true. She didn't want to be pregnant. Not now, someday yes, but not now. She and Chris had only been together for a little over a year, and they weren't even living in the same state, let alone the same house. They spent their weekends apart and their weeks together at work.
She loved Chris, and he loved her, and she knew that. But a child was a wrench into the plan. How was it even going to work? They weren't married, they weren't living together. Their relationship was semi-serious. They didn't see other people, but it wasn't like they were tied down together. Well, they were tied down together now. She took one of her hands and rested it against her abdomen, knowing now for sure that there was a child in there, that her child was in there.
Chris was going to do the right thing, she knew this already. He was probably going to propose and want to get married and everything and she knew it was all going to be because of the little boy or girl that she was carrying inside of her. She was needlessly going to tie him down. Unless she didn't tell him and kept it to herself. Then he wouldn't have to feel tied down. But she wasn't going to do that; she couldn't not tell him about his own child, how cruel and heartless would that be?
She composed herself and wiped her eyes before driving back home. She wanted to collapse on the couch with a quart of ice cream and just eat her way into oblivion. She now had that "eating for two" excuse. When she got through the door though, she just went to her couch and flopped down on it as she stared at the ceiling. The phone rang about twenty minutes later and she reached behind her blindly where she could hear the phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hey there you."
"Chris," she said, smiling slightly, but also with a slight tremor in her voice.
"It is me. I was just thinking about you, wondering how you were spending your weekend and if you missed me as much as I miss you."
"No, definitely less," she told him coyly.
"Ouch, now that hurts," Chris said to her, pretending to be hurt. "So what'd you do today, or what are you doing with the rest of today? And don't leave out details, I'm all about the details."
"I just worked all day," she lied. Now was not the time to tell him the truth, although it would probably be easier to do it over the phone. Or maybe not do it at all. Maybe she should run away and raise this child by herself, she certainly had the means and she didn't want to tie him down or drive him away. Chris was the best thing that could've happened to her. He made her life fun.
"Steph, Steph, Steph, how many times do I have to tell you to live a little? Working all weekend, that's just boring. Do you need me to come up there and inject a little Vitamin C in your life?" he asked playfully.
"No!" Stephanie said forcefully, but then corrected herself lest he get suspicious. "No Chris, I'm good…Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you think about the future?"
"Well, it's…the future…unpredictable…"
"I mean our future?" she asked, trying not to just come out and say that they were going to be linked together for the rest of their lives, for better or for worse.
"I see us having fun, why? I mean, you know, I can see being with you. But who knows right, that's why you live in the present because you never know. Hell, we could break up tomorrow or a year from now. Relationships are hard you know. You have to keep an open mind and know that sometimes, things don't work out. Especially if you don't have any attachments."
"Mommy?"
Stephanie looked up from playing with the ends of her hair. She had zoned out for a moment while working on something as Finnegan watched her. He was sitting cross-legged on top of the desk she had been given for the evening. She was going over some of the test scripts given to her by her writers to see which ones were feasible and which ones weren't.
"Yes Finny?"
"I'm bored," he told her, heaving a great, big sigh.
"You don't like watching me work?"
He laughed and shook his head. "It's not fun Mommy because you don't let me help."
"Well, I don't think that my employees would appreciate a little boy being better at their work than they are," Stephanie said, grabbing him off the desk and tickling him as he squirmed in her arms, laughing and trying to push her away.
"Stop, Mommy, stop!" Finnegan yelled as he tried to breathe.
Stephanie kissed the top of his head and held him to her. "Did you want to go read a book or color or something because you can always go do that."
"But I don't want to read," he whined.
"Why not? You love it," she told him, and it was indeed his favorite activity outside of hockey, which he loved to the very hilt of loving something. In fact, he was wearing his vintage Winnipeg Jets jersey right this second. It was worn and faded from him wearing it all the time, but Stephanie indulged him on this point. She let him dress himself for the most part, not wanting to inhibit him.
"I want to go see Daddy," Finnegan said softly. "Can I go see him?"
Stephanie sighed. Chris was the one subject she did not want to think about. She was lucky that for the most part that Finnegan looked like her because she didn't think she could bear looking at Chris in their son. He had left three days ago and she hadn't spoken to him since. Well, that wasn't true. He had called to talk to their son and they had the following exchange every time:
"Hello?"
"Steph, it's Chris, can I talk to Finn?"
"Okay."
And that was it. That was all for them over the past three days. Six years of being together and that's what they were reduced to, but it wasn't her fault. Chris kept pressuring her and pressuring her and she couldn't take it all. She wasn't at the point where she wanted to get married because the fear was still there, and it was always going to be there. If they weren't married, then the falling out they would eventually have wouldn't seem so intense. Except the falling out had been intense.
Yet, she wasn't going to cry over it, not like she had cried when she found out she was pregnant, or when she cried the first time she had turned down Chris's proposal. It had been on a whim. He had just said it casually, like it was expected of them since she was having his baby. She didn't want it just because of their child. She didn't want to turn Finnegan into a reason rather than a person. She never wanted to do that because she loved her son too much to use him as a way of saying yes.
"Do you really want to go see Daddy?" Stephanie asked, but she already knew the answer. She knew that Finnegan hadn't seen Chris for three days and that was three days too long.
"Yes…please," he added on, remembering that his mother was all about asking please and saying thank you. He wanted to please her. Whenever he made her happy, she would give him a big hug that he loved.
"Okay, we can do that," Stephanie told him, not wanting to disappoint him. She had already had to explain that Daddy couldn't come over to the house and she didn't want to explain to him why he couldn't go see his father.
"Yes!" Finnegan yelled as he hopped off of Stephanie's lap. He raced to the door and reached up to open it as Stephanie laughed and stood up. Finnegan wasn't a boisterous child by any means, in fact he was a lot more thoughtful than you'd think a child of hers and Chris's would be, but he did have his moments. He was a lot more well-adjusted than either Chris or she was, and oftentimes, she and Chris had joked that Finnegan was really the adult who took care of them.
He did take care of them though. They grew up when they had him, and they grew together when they had him. Finnegan was the one thing that always kept them from doing something stupid or crazy. Both of them wanted one thing in their life, and this they could always agree on, they wanted Finnegan to be the happiest kid in the world. Not because he was spoiled, and not because they could provide him everything and anything he wanted, but to just be happy being a kid.
She followed him to the door and through it as he went down the hallway, looking up at various doors. He looked back at her in question, "Mommy, do you know where Daddy's door is?"
"I can't say that I do Finny," she told him. Finnegan frowned and continued looking through all the doors before he saw one with his Daddy's name on it. "Chris Jericho, Mommy! This is Daddy's door!"
He was so excited and it broke her heart. She would just have to try to remain civil with Chris for their son's sake. She walked up to the door and knocked on it, looking down at her little boy who was understandably bouncing on his feet. No answer came from the door, and Stephanie frowned as she made a funny face to Finnegan. She knocked again and again there was no answer.
"Hmm…do you think Daddy is here?" Finnegan shook his head vigorously. "Yeah, me neither, but let's check first okay?"
"Okay," Finnegan nodded seriously, an expression that matched her own serious face. Stephanie turned the knob and stuck her head in the room, not caring if Chris was changing. After being together with him for six years, there wasn't much left to hide. She saw his things sitting on the ground, but no Chris in sight.
"I don't think he's here Finny," Stephanie said regretfully and Finny frowned.
"Where could he be?" Finnegan asked and Stephanie had to laugh at that. He was easily frustrated, which was something he did pick up from both his parents, who were always quick to get frustrated with people.
"I don't know, do you think Mommy's psychic?" she joked and Finnegan nodded and hugged her leg. She wouldn't say that he was a Mama's boy, because he equally liked Chris, but he was definitely a parent's boy if that made sense. "Do you want to wait for Daddy here or go look for him?"
"Look for him," he mumbled against her leg.
"You're going to have to let go of me for me to do that," she responded.
"Okay," he said, letting go of her reluctantly, but seeking out her hand to hold in his. She gave it a squeeze as they wandered off in search of Chris. Stephanie smiled to people as they walked, Finnegan waving to everyone and calling them by their names.
They walked into catering and Stephanie spotted Chris immediately, though Finnegan, with his lower field of vision had a hard time spotting him through the sea of people around. He was sitting at a table alone, chin in hand and he was staring off into space. It had been three days since she had seen him and while that wasn't even close to the longest she had been away from him, it was different now because he wasn't hers anymore, and that stung a little, but she pushed it back.
"Hey, look who's over there," Stephanie whispered, as she leaned down to Finnegan's level and pointed to Chris. She watched as Finnegan's eyes lit up and he looked to his Mommy in delight.
"It's Daddy," he said in an excited whisper.
"Come on, let's go," she told him as they walked together over to where Chris was sitting oblivious to their presence.
"Daddy," Finnegan said, grabbing him around the waist.
"Huh?" Chris said, startled by the sudden intrusion into his thoughts. He looked down to see a little person clinging to him. "Finn!"
"Hi Daddy," Finnegan said brightly. "We were looking all over the place for you and you weren't anywhere."
"If I had known you were looking, I would've come found you instead," Chris said, lifting the boy easily onto the table and sitting him in front of him. "Have you been good?"
Finnegan nodded and looked to Stephanie for confirmation and she nodded. Chris looked at her and she looked away quickly, not making eye contact with him. Chris sighed at this. He wanted so much to stand up and give her a proper hello, complete with mind-blowing kiss. But she wasn't his to kiss anymore, and the thought ripped at his insides. But he masked the disappointment for Finnegan's sake.
"If you want Finny, you can spend the night with Daddy, if that's okay with Daddy?'
"Why isn't Daddy staying with us like he always does?" Finnegan asked, looking between his parents.
Stephanie grabbed her right arm with her left and hand and rubbed it up and down for a moment, not knowing how to answer that. She looked to Chris, and he was looking down at the ground. She blinked a little before pulling up a chair next to Chris, but being careful not to be too close to him. Finnegan looked between his parents, not understanding why they didn't look happy at all.
"Finny, Daddy and I have to explain something to you, so please listen okay?"
"Okay," he said in a small voice and with a boyish smile.
"Finn, Mommy and I…we need time apart," Chris said delicately.
"But Daddy, you were gone forever and ever, and now you can come back home," Finnegan said. "Because you already left home, Mommy said, so you can come back, because you don't have business right?"
"No, I don't, but I can't come home."
"But Daddy, you live there."
"Daddy doesn't live there anymore Finny. It's like this sweetie, Mommy and Daddy aren't married like your other friend's parents, remember how we explained that to you?" Stephanie asked, while Chris bit his tongue at the mention of marriage.
"You and Daddy are boyfriend and girlfriend," Finnegan said, which is just what Chris and Stephanie had told him when he had said during talking time at school they were talking about Mommies and Daddies and most of his friends had married Mommies and Daddies.
"Yes, we were boyfriend and girlfriend," Chris agreed, trying not to sound bitter.
"But sometimes, when people are boyfriend and girlfriend, they decide that they can't be together, like sometimes married Mommies and Daddies can't be together anymore, they call that divorced."
"Richard's parents are that!" Finnegan exclaimed.
"Like that, except when boyfriends and girlfriends aren't together anymore, they call that breaking up. And Daddy and I decided that we were going to break up."
"Why?" he asked innocently.
"It's a lot of things Finny, but Mommy and Daddy decided that we needed to not be together anymore. It's not your fault or anything, it's our fault. But Daddy isn't going to be living with us anymore, and Daddy is going to live somewhere else."
"I don't like this Mommy," Finnegan said, scrunching up his face. "Daddy should come home."
"Finny, Daddy can't, okay."
"Okay," he said, pouting a little bit and this, this, made Stephanie want to cry. Chris patted Finnegan on the knees, causing the little boy to look up.
"We're still gonna have fun though Finn, I promise," Chris said, wanting to wipe that sad face off of his son's face immediately. He couldn't bear it. It didn't need to be like this, it never needed to be like this. If Stephanie had just…he didn't want to think about that any longer. He just wanted to focus on his son. "So if Mommy says its okay, we can have a sleepover tonight."
"Its okay," she nodded, kissing Finnegan on the cheek. "I'm going to get back to work, are you going to be okay here Finny?"
"Yes Mommy," he said politely. She gave him another kiss and walked away, leaving Chris and Finnegan alone. "Daddy, are you sure you can't come home?"
"I'm sure kiddo," Chris said. "I want to, believe me, but Mommy and I just don't agree on some things."
Finnegan sighed dramatically, sounding like Stephanie when she wanted attention. "You can talk to her and make it better. When Mommy gets mad at me, she talks to me and makes it better."
"I've tried talking to Mommy about this Finn, but we just aren't going to agree. I'm sorry kiddo, I really am. I love Mommy more than you love candy," he said, to which Finnegan's eyes got wide, "but Mommy just can't see that right now."
"Mommy's that word that Grandpa Vince uses all the time," Finnegan giggled.
"Stubborn?"
"Uh huh," Finnegan nodded. Chris nodded too. If anything, Stephanie was the most stubborn person on the planet. All he wanted was her, and she couldn't give him that.
Yeah, he would call her stubborn alright.