Chapter 7 Shitfaced
The next evening Sam was bouncing around the dorms singing "We're gonna get shitfaced, we're gonna get shit faced." Riley laughed at this and tried to calm her down. "Ok Sam, this is our first time getting shitfaced, no need to go all psycho over it" Riley said.
They both walked down their stairs and of course, as always, they both looked good. The Common Room was crowded. "Wow" both Adrian Pucey, who was still going after Sam, and Theodore told the girls. "Thanks" they both said in unison.
Riley put down a portable radio. "Let's get this party started!" Riley said turned the volume up full blast. The two girls started dancing to the music and soon the whole common room joined in. They both started off with a butterbeer and then moved onto the hardcore stuff.
"Ha-ha...Riley! I love youuu!" Sam giggled clinging to her arm. But it wasn't Riley's arm it was Blaise's. "I'm not Rileeeyy." He slurred. "I'm Blaise." Sam blinked slowly and looked up at him. "So you are! Oh well…I love you too!" She pulled him into a hug. "Of course who doesn't?" "I bet Pansy doesn't!" Sam hiccupped. "She's just using you for your really big…"
"Saaaaam!" Riley called from across the room where she was sitting between Draco and Theodore. "EH? ARE WE HAVIN' A GOOD TIME BUB?" Sam screamed over Blaises shoulder. Riley nodded enthusiastically and held up her Whiskey bottle. "Cheers!" She turned to Theodore. "You're such a nice boyfriend." She said slowly and then turned to Draco. "And you're such a nice maker - outer."
Theodore turned to face her with a serious expression. "What are you talking about? You've made out with him?" he asked. Theodore had had very little alcohol and knew what was going on. "Yeh, who wouldn't make out with that Sexy beast?" Riley smiled reassuringly, but Theodore was hurt.
"You made out with my girlfriend?" he asked Draco who was quite drunk at the moment. Draco nodded with a goofy grin. "And I saw her nekked too!" "Stand up!" Theodore said standing up. "Man what is your problem?" Draco asked Theodore who threw a punch at Draco as soon as he stood up.
"Theodore!" Riley shrieked and pulled him away. Theodore then turned to her. "And you can forget about us" he said walking away. "We're over." Riley stared after him "Well fine cuz I have Draco!" She said as he pulled her down on the couch and they had another firewhiskey.
"Ughhh." Riley moaned, rolling over. She opened her eyes a bit and saw some fuzzy shapes that seemed to whirl around. She winced and closed her eyes again. "Where am I?" "I believe you're in a broom closet." A voice mumbled. Riley was now slightly more awake, and her eyes shot open at the sound of the voice.
Lying very close to her and quite naked was Draco. "Ahh!" Riley yelped in surprise and covered a hand over her face. Draco winced, "Can you please not scream so loud? He asked. "But you're NAKED!" Riley cried, and she peeked through her fingers. It wasn't that bad a sight actually.
"Well so are you." He said. Riley glanced down at herself. So she was. "Oh my god. So does that mean we...? I ... and you... OH MY GOD! I LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A BROOM CLOSET! OH MYGOD!" Riley desperately tried to cover herself up.
Draco watched her with amusement. "I don't think you'll find any cover in here. We must have lost our clothes on the way." Riley shifted and tried to hide herself behind a giant mop. "Do you...remember anything from last night?" She asked. "Yes." He answered.
Riley blushed and buried her face in her hands. "And I must say I was quite impressed. I didn't know you had it in you." Riley looked at him. "You mean you liked it?" She asked incredulously. Draco smirked and leaned back slightly. "I have no complaints."
Sam woke up in bed with an arm across her back as she nuzzled her face closer into the pillow. Wait, what was an arm doing across her back? Her head immediately popped up and she saw Blaise turned towards her, eyes closed and breathing steadily. Why am I in Blaise's bed? She wondered.
She felt him begin to shift his weight and knew that he would probably wake up soon. All she knew at that moment was that she was strangely sore in an area she didn't really want to talk about. "Mmm" came a mumble from Blaise as his eyes fluttered open to see Sam with her eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep soon.
"Oh god" he murmured and rubbed his throbbing head. Sam's eyes opened and it was then that she noticed that they both had absolutely no clothes on. "Ahh" she yelled, but she really liked this idea of being in a bed with Blaise.
"What happened?" Sam asked. "What does it look like happened?" Blaise answered her with a question. "Ummm, we had hot and kinky animal like sex?" Sam said cheekily while clutching the blankets to herself.
Blaise muttered something incomprehensible and buried his face in his pillow. "I can't believe this is happening." His muffled voice said. "Why me?" Sam was hurt by his lack of enthusiasm. "Well you seemed to have enjoyed it last night." She snapped.
He rolled over to look at her. "Well I was drunk last night." Sam sniffed and pushed her hair back. "Well so was I." "Good," Blaise said. "So we both agree it was a mistake then." Sam really didn't feel that it was a mistake but she wasn't going to tell him that. Instead she changed the subject by pointing out an obvious problem.
"I don't have any clothes." "Congratulations." He drawled. "Well! If you don't want me to be here you'd better find me some god damned clothes so I can leave." She said huffily. Blaise heaved a huge sigh. "Fine." He pulled himself up from the bed and wrapped a sheet firmly around his waist. But not before Sam got a very nice view.
Blaise rummaged through his drawers for a moment and pulled out a shirt and a pair of boxers. "Here put them on." He said and threw them at her. She looked at him pointedly. "Turn around." Sam ordered.
Blaise rolled his eyes. "Why? it's not like I haven't seen it." "Blaise!" "Fine!" He faced his back to her. Sam hastily pulled his clothes on and hopped out of bed.
She swept past Blaise without a word. She really needed to find Riley and talk to her. She wonder what her friend did last night. She was pretty drunk.
Riley was huddled up on the floor, hiding as much of herself as she possibly could, but Draco just stood there stiff as a log in all his pride and glory. He kept his eyes away from Riley and his thoughts under control so a certain someone wouldn't pop up to say hello.
"Draco, what are we going to do? People are going to notice that we aren't there, and we don't have any clothes, or our wands, so we can't even conjure anything up!" Riley exclaimed. "Well, we could just shag again…" he started and then saw the look on Riley's face and stopped. "Or not."
"What if Theodore comes looking for me?" Riley asked worriedly, no clue that they had broken up. She was too drunk to remember that. Draco looked to the floor. "What now?" Riley asked. "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when you were drunk last night you kinda told Theodore that we made out and he wasn't too happy and broke it off with you. That's why you ended up in here, with me."
Riley looked stunned. "W-what?" she stuttered as Draco told her again. "Oh god, what am I going to do? No boyfriend and no clothes!" Riley exclaimed. "Well you're wrong about one thing. You do have a boyfriend" Draco said indicating to himself. "But you're right about the clothes part…no luck in that department. I personally think we should just make due with our nakedness and shag again."
Sam had searched the dorm and common room and had found many hung over Slytherins but no Riley. Or Draco for that matter. Sam made an educated guess that they were together. She stepped out from the common room and into the hall. She saw a familiar striped shirt lying discarded on the floor, along with a black sweater. "Hmm...Riley's clothing, but no Riley."
Sam bent down and scooped the clothing up in her arms. She noticed a pair of jeans and a wand lying further up the hallway. She followed the trail of clothing, picking them up as she went, until it suddenly stopped.
"Well." Sam stopped and looked around. The hallway was completely deserted and there were no naked teenagers lying around anywhere. "This is odd. Rillley?" She called. Her voice echoed down the corridor. Luckily for Riley Sam had a very loud voice and she heard her from inside the broom closet.
"Sam!" She yelled, pounding on the door. "In here!" "Hello there" Sam popped her head inside, then recoiled in disgust, slamming the door behind her. "THAT IS GROSS.PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" She screamed.
"We don't have any!" Riley cried. Sam stopped and looked down at the clothes in her arms. "Oh right." She said sheepishly. "I have them." She opened the door a crack and threw them inside.
Classes finally started back up again and Riley and Sam were far behind in their studies. They both worked together in potions class, hovering over their cauldron with a violently pink potion which was supposed to be a misty blue sort of color.
"Man, what did we do wrong?" Riley complained as Draco and Crabbe walked over to see what they were complaining about now. They saw the pink potion which immediately reminded them of Pansy' face and they burst into laughter. "You forgot to add the crushed unicorn horn" Draco pointed out to Sam. "Oh well don't you think you're a smart one" Riley said rolling her eyes.
She refused to believe that she accepted Draco's offer of them being a pair while she was drunk. But when she realized that Theodore wouldn't have anything to do with her anymore, she realized she might as well move on, but she was staying single! "Riley!" Sam whined as she poured in a little too much unicorn horn and the potion turned bright orange.
It was then that Hermoine tripped over someone's foot and sent their potion was dumped all across the floor, but not before having a little bit added to the backs of Sam's ears. Riley's jaw dropped as she saw what happened. "Oh MY God!" She said examining Sam's ears. "Sam, you have ear testicles!"
"NOOO!" Sam wailed. "I'm too female to have testicles!" She clutched at her ears and looked on the verge of tears. Snape surveyed the commotion calmly. "20 points from Gryffindor for being so clumsy Granger." He said cooly.
Hermione turned red with anger and frustration. The Potions Master turned to Sam. "Calm down Ms. Hatt, it's nothing that can't be fixed. You, "He nodded to Riley, "Take her to the Hospital Wing. The rest of you get back to work!"
"Come on Samma." Riley said, pulling Sam up by her arm. When they were outside in the hallway Sam sniffled and said "This is so upsetting." Riley patted her on the back. "I think they're quite becoming." "You would." Sam glared at her. "Yes of course I would." "Well...you're just a jerk." "Your face is." "STEAMED" "Ah here we are."
Riley stopped in front of the Hospital Wing. "I don't like it in here. It smells weird." Sam scrunched up her nose. "Like...apple juice." "I like apple juice!" Riley said. "Are you saying there's something wrong with apple juice!" Sam shook her head no. "Come on lets just go see if Madam Pomfrey can get rid of these." She sighed, and pushed open the doors.
The removal of the ear testicles took ten minutes. Riley sniffed when they were cut off and her ears magically healed. "I can't believe you would wanna cut those off. I'd keep them forever!" Riley exclaimed. They walked into the Great Hall to see a group of owls carrying a cage heading in the direction of Sam.
She tore the note off of the cage and read it aloud. "Sam, You forgot to bring Winky with. I thought you would want him there at Hogwarts with you to keep Jules company. Aunt Sheila." Sam opened the cage and grinned at the sight of her cat with the pushed in face. "Aww Winky, sowwy I forgot you. I wuv joo!"
Riley laughed as some of the Slytherins stared at her. They both walked back to the common room before Divination to take Winky up to their dormitory with Jules. "I can't believe you forgot her" Riley said patting the kitty's head. "It can happen!" Sam said defensively.
"We have to go now Winks. Be a good kitty." Sam gave him a huge kiss and then dumped him on her bed. "Let's go." She said to Riley. The bell rang just as they were climbing the stair case to the Divination Room. The both took their usual seats on squishy chairs at a corner table.
Sam yawned and made herself comfortable, preparing for another boring class. She found History of Magic more entertaining then this. The teacher, in her opinion, was a complete crazy fraud. Riley on the other hand adored Professor Trelawney, and thought she was one of the most fascinating people she had ever met. She sat up straight in her poofy chair and was actually paying attention for once.
"I don't know how you can get so excited." Sam mumbled. "Professor Trelawney understands me. We're both psychic." Riley whispered, tapping her head. Sam snorted and rolled her eyes. Riley was completely oblivious, staring at the professor with the utmost attention.
They each got up to get some tea to drink so they could read tea leaves. "Omigosh! Sam! You're going to have a baby!" Riley squealed as she read Sam's. Sam wasn't surprised that Riley didn't need a book to know this as Riley had always taken Divination very seriously, but this was going a little too far.
"Riley that is ridiculous! The tea leaves aren't going to tell me if I'm having a baby!" Sam exclaimed. Professor Trelawney came up behind the both of them and looked down into the tea leaves and gave Sam a disapproving look.
"I'm afraid to say Riley is right. Why would you doubt her anyways. You should know very well that she is my best student in the school" Professor Trelawney said in her mystified voice. Riley shrugged as Sam stared at her. "I just read them!" she said and put the cup down.
Sam picked up Riley's tea cup after Professor Trelawney left and said "Well it looks like it's going to be sunshine and daisies for you!" Sam said while rolling her eyes at how ridiculous this all way to her.
"I can't believe you're pregnant." Riley said staring at her wide eyed. "I am NOT pregnant!" Sam fumed. "Well you did have sex with Blaise..." "One time!" "And it was unprotected sex..." The class was now beginning to stare. "How would I know! I was drunk!" "And your stomach has gotten a little bigger..." "Are you calling me fat!" "No I'm calling you pregnant." "I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Sam screamed, slamming her teacup down on the table.
"My Dear!" Professor Trelawney exclaimed, "You're disturbing the aura." "Take your aura and shove it up your ass!" Sam snapped. She grabbed her books and stormed down the trapped door and out of the class room.
Riley stared after her friend open mouthed. Silence followed. "So you knocked her up eh Blaise?" Draco asked his very embarrassed friend. "It was just tea leaves." He muttered. "But you had sex with her then?" Blaise scowled at him and Draco laughed.
"I can't believe you told Professor Trelawney off!" Riley screeched to Sam in the common room after supper. "She's such a talented teacher and she really knows what she's doing!" Sam glared at her. "Talented my ass. She's a fake and you know it!" Riley glared back at Sam.
"It's not my fault if the fertility sign came up in your tea leaves. Did you ever take into consideration that maybe I worded it wrong and you aren't having the baby but a friend or family member might be?" Riley said while crashing on the couch next to Draco. Sam raised an eyebrow. "A friend eh?" Riley took a sip of water and then realized what Sam said and that she was now staring at her.
"Oh no, don't you turn this around on me, otherwise my tea leaves would have most likely said the same thing!" Draco turned to her. "Well she does have a point. It was unprotected with us too…" Riley turned to Draco quite angered.
"Can we not think about "us" right now seeing as there is no "us"?" Draco rolled his eyes and attempted to put his arm around the disgruntled Riley and for once succeeded. She must have been lost in thought.
She then looked up at Sam. "We'll just have to either wait and see what happens or go to Madam Pomfrey…" Riley said, waiting to see what Sam would say.