Title: Never let your guard down

Author: Simple Plan Rulz

Rating: T, I'm not sure, I'm not very good with the whole ratings thing.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own ER or any of its characters.

Author's notes: this is chapter 3! in this Ray finally starts to reveal his past, although it seems like its all of it, its not, he has more secrets! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you like chapter 3!

Chapter 3: In Sickness and in Health

"So guess what," Neela said as she handed Abby a tissue, "Ray's late and springing about like a rabbit on speed, we all know what that means,"

"I wonder who it is?"

"Probably some skank of the streets," Neela was not particularly impressed at the way Raywas always sleeping around.

"Hey, so Ray's a bit of a man-whore, he's still a nice guy."

"God, who's been brainwashing you?"

"No one, he was actually very nice to me yesterday,"

"Whatever you say, hey when did Jake leave this morning?"

"Really early, like 2am, god I miss him already!"

Abby laughed "I thought you where all worried yesterday about things going to fast,"

"Yer, but then Ray convinced me it was nothing, and what's weird is he was right!"

"Ray is giving out good advice, I gotta see this!"

Abby was about to laugh but it came out as more of a choke and then she threw up again.

"Seriously Abby, if your gunna spend the rest of today throwing up in the toilet I really think you should go home,"

Abby pulled her head out of the toilet, "I'm fine really, it's just a little virus,"

"When did you start throwing up?"

"This morning, I woke up at like 5 and I was all hot and I felt like I had a bad fever, and then I went to go puke up,"

"Sound's like you've got that 24 hour bug thing that's going round,"

"No, I'm fine honestly I'm feeling much better now"

"Abby," Neela gave her a stern look.

"Fine, fine, I go home,"

"Good, you need the rest, I'll come visit you when my shifts up, I promise,"

"Okay," was all Abby managed to say before throwing up, again.

"Hey Neela," Ray spun her around "Where's Lockhart?"

"She's gone home, she's sick, why do you care Barnett?"

"I was just concerned that's all," Ray suddenly saw the opportunity to spend more time with Abby, "Hey are you gunna visit her, now our shift's up?"

"My shift may be up Ray, but unlike you, when my shift ends my work doesn't. Hey, could you go see her and tell her that I'm sorry I couldn't go see her, but I'm swamped.

"Will do," Ray gave Neela a wink and disappeared.

Ten minutes and a train journey later

"Housekeeping," called Ray in a high pitched voice as he knocked on the door.

"What? Neela is that you? The door's open." Abby called in a snotty, clogged up voice.

"Nah just me," Ray strolled into her apartment, "Neela's swamped down at the hospital, she asked me to apologize for her." Ray looked around her apartment "Hey, where's what's his face?"

Abby rolled her eyes "Jake's at his mom's"

"So you're all alone?"

"Yep, looks like it"

"Well that just won't do," Ray moved towards her bed, "come on, scoot up," Ray jumped onto the bed next to her, "I'm here now"

"No Ray, I couldn't ask you to stay, you've got another shift in 12 hours!"

"Don't worry, I've learned to go without sleep," he winked at her "if you know what I mean."

"Ray you're so typical, is that all you think about?"

Ray pretended to think for a couple of seconds before replying "Yep, pretty much"

Abby shook her head "Why is it, sometimes you seem like your actually an alright, nice guy, than you go an prove that your actually the person everyone thinks you are, an arrogant, sex obsessed, kid?"

Ray didn't say anything he just looked down, should he tell her, tell her why he's like that, he didn't have to tell her all of it and she might understand, from what Neela had told him about her past, about her mum, she would totally understand, but it would be so weird, talking about it, he had never told anyone before.

Abby looked at him, "What no comments, jokes, comebacks?"

Ray shook his head, he looked depressed and deep in thought. Abby looked in the same way as he had looked at her the night before and repeated what he said "What's up?"

"Well it's just…" he trailed off "you'll probably think this is weird but…"

"But what?"

"Look I've never told anyone this before,"

Abby nodded.

"You see, when I was a kid, my dad, he wanted me and my mum to be, well, to be perfect, you know, he was that kind of guy who hated weakness in people, and, well, he was always telling me that I must never let my guard down, that I was only as weak as my weakest link." Ray looked at Abby to see if she was following.

"So, my dad, he tried to 'eliminate' our weak links," Ray looked down, it was so weird having to admit this, he couldn't look straight at Abby.

"Ray, did your dad hit you?"

Ray nodded "It was just my mum at first, but he would get really angry anytime I did anything wrong and he would just, you know, lash out."

Abby couldn't believe what she was hearing, that Ray's arrogant persona was just a façade, a little boy frightened to death, hiding behind a mask. "So that's why you never, like, normally sensitive, you know, like you never show emotions,"

Ray nodded "my dad said showing emotions was weak."

"So what did you do? Did your mom leave him?"

"No, she was too frightened, so I just took it, until I was 16, then I left to go live with my mom's sister. When I was 18 my mum died in a car crash, I haven't spoken to my dad since her funeral." Ray sighed, a deep, depressing sigh, "You know its kinda ironic, my mum had had enough of my dad, thats why she was driving, she was gunna come stay with my aunt and me, she was finally escaping, and then she died."

They both sat in silence. Abby was shocked, she couldn't believe how Ray had just opened up like that, and she would have never expected this to be the reason for why Ray was the way he was.

"You know you're the first person I've ever sat down and told this to."

"Why me?" Abby looked concerned.

"I've kept it bottled up for too long, and besides you asked me."

"Oh yer,"

"And, I thought it would take your mind off your illness," he smiled that same sensitive, sweet smile that she had only seen a few times before. Abby leaned back, she was totally wrong about Ray, he was a nice guy.

So nice, he spent the rest of day with her, laughing, joking and holding back her hair for her when she was sick, so she didn't get any in her hair, andafterwards he walked back of to the hospital, a slight spring in his step.

Thats the end. I thought it was going to be a lot longer than that, I did cut this big bit out where Ray talks about why he decided to become a doctor, because I thought that fits in better later on, but still, I thought it would be soooo much longer!