Lonely in a Crowd Chapter 71, a grey's anatomy fanfic

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

Meredith runs out of the cafeteria. How could her friends do that? She can't even be in the same room with them all. They start barking at each other, and arguing. They should all try to get along. Why can't they just do that? She doesn't want to push Matt away, they should be able to just accept him. She wasn't even sure where she was headed. She found her self down in the basement with the gurneys and hospital beds. Derek catches up to her.

Derek: Mer- I'm sorry.

Meredith: For what?

Derek: What? What do you mean?

Meredith: For what? Why exactly are you sorry? You're always sorry, but I wonder, do you even know what you're sorry about?

Derek: I'm sorry I'm a man.

Meredith: What? That makes no sense...

Derek: I'm a man. It's what men do. We're possessive, and needy. (He sits down on the bed.) I can't help it, I'm a man. A man that knows things, and knows other men. (She lays down on the bed, laying her head on his lap.)

Meredith: So, you're a needy, possessive man. I can't wait to tell Mark.

Derek: You better not...

Meredith: Don't ever share an on-call room with Dr. Carle. He snores. It's loud. I mean really loud. I didn't get any sleep.

Derek: I could have told you that. (His pager goes off.) Sorry.

Meredith: It's the job. I'll see you tonight. (He kisses her.)

Derek: Have fun.

Meredith: I will.

She rolls over and faces the wall. She needed a nap, even if it was just a few minutes. She fell asleep quickly. Derek is walking down the hall. It wasn't an emergency call, so he wasn't in a big hurry. He was looking down at his Blackberry when he almost walked in to Matt.

Derek: What are you doing down here? Visitors aren't permitted down here.

Matt: I'm looking for Meredith. She looked a little upset.

Derek: She's fine now. I made sure of that.

Matt: I should see for myself. She probably needs the comfort of an old friend. I can be very comforting.

Derek: Are you kidding me?

Matt: What? Meredith isn't sure what she wants right now. I know what she wants, and I know what she needs. (Derek drops his Blackberry, and shoves Matt against the wall, hard. He has him pinned.)

Derek: You listen. You stay the hell away from her! She doesn't want or need you. She has me. (He loosens his grip.)

Matt: I will see her if I want to. (Derek shoves him against the wall, one again, grabbing his throat. Derek isn't violent, but something about Matt that sends him over the edge.) If you value your life, you will turn around right now and walk away.

Matt: I don't think this is your choice. (Derek tightens his grip.) Fine. (They both walk away. Matt heads away from Meredith, but turns around when Derek is out of sight. He quickly head towards Meredith. She felt a warm body lay next to her. She smiled.) Back so soon? (She turns her head and looks at him.)

Matt: Disappointed, again?

Meredith: Matt! (She is in shock.) What are you doing? You can't do this. You can't just come and lay in the bed with me. There is a line. You are crossing the line!

Matt: (Jumps up.) What?

Meredith: You can't show up and lay on my bed. You can't touch me like you do. You just can't!

Matt: (He gives her his famous, 'I'm so innocent' look.) But Mer, we're friends.

Meredith: Yes- Friends. FRIENDS, nothing else. Not friends with benefits, not extra friendly friends. Friends. (She shakes her head.) I have to go. See you later.

Matt: Yep. Crap.

Meredith walks away from Matt quickly. How did he find her. He always seemed to find her. She didn't look back. She knew he wasn't following her. He couldn't be that stupid. She had to find Dr. Bailey. Her shift ended in a couple of hours. She obviously had no where to hide, so she might as well work. She walked down the hall, passing Melanie's room.

Melanie: Hey, bitch! (Meredith keeps walking. She is not in to mood for her.) Dr. Grey...

Meredith: You bellowed, whore.

Melanie: Come here. (Meredith drags herself in her room, grabbing her chart, flipping it open.)

Meredith: What? If you are going to-

Melanie: You know I hate you, right. Well, maybe I shouldn't use the word hate. Yes. The word hate does accurately describe how I feel about you. I hate you.

Meredith: And...What do you want?

Melanie: My brother...he's poison.

Meredith: Listen. I don't want to hear you bitch and moan about your brother. I don't care, okay?

Melanie: No. You don't know. I had to hear him whine over you. He pined, in secret. You broke him.

Meredith: I didn't do anything.

Melanie: He was in love with you. You had to know. (Meredith face is flushed in shock.) Oh my God, you didn't know...

Meredith: You are crazy. I have to go...

Melanie: Wait...please.

Meredith: What! What do you want?

Melanie: The whole time, all he wanted was you. Then John asked you to marry him. It crushed Matt. He didn't even wait one day after graduation before he left for New York. Why do you think he didn't come to your wedding? And now, now he is here. Not for me, but for you. John's dead, now he thinks he has a chance, with you. He's toxic, Meredith.

Meredith: Why are you doing this?

Melanie: It's the truth, Meredith.

Meredith: Why do you care?

Melanie: Because I do, okay?

Meredith: I have to go...really.

Melanie: Meredith, be careful. Oh, and you are still a bitch.

Meredith: And you are still a whore.

Meredith didn't know what do you think. Was Melanie right, or was she just trying to make trouble? Meredith thought back to all of the moments they had together. Was it true? Was he really in love with her? She thinks back to all of the touches, the comments. It is true. She feels so foolish. How could she be so stupid. And her friends. She was rude to her friends, all they wanted to do was protect her. Her friends. Her real friends.

Dr. Bailey sends Meredith down to the pit. Sutures. Sutures would suit her perfectly right now. She stitched up four people. The sutures were good, clean. Perfect. Unlike her life at this point. She felt like she was standing in the middle of Central Park with no clothing on. She was humiliated, beyond belief. She defended him. Like a fool, she defended him. Finally, she could go home. Now all she had to do was sneak out of the hospital. She hurried to the locker room, looking over her shoulder. She avoided Melanie's room completely.

Cristina: Hey there, Sunshine.

Meredith: Have you seen him? (She whispered.)

Cristina: Who? McDreamy? He went home.

Meredith: No, Matt.

Cristina: He was looking for you about an hour ago.

Meredith: Shit. Of course he was. Damn-it. I'm sorry.

Cristina: For what.

Meredith: You are my person. You were right. I should have listened to you. Matt, he's- Only two more days. She leaves in two days, and I have tomorrow off. So one day. I have to avoid him for for one day.

Cristina: So how'd you find out? Who got it through your extra, abnormally thick skull?

Meredith: It doesn't matter. Just don't say anything to the others, or Derek. I don't want him to know. Not yet.

Cristina: You are pathetic.

Meredith: I know. See you later...

Cristina: Yep. I'm gonna go find Burke.

Meredith drove home slowly. At one point, she was twenty miles under the speed limit. Derek is going to know that she knows that he was right. Shit! I am not in the mood for this. Damn Derek, he's always right. He knew her too well. He could read her like a book. Maybe he would be asleep when she got home. Fat chance, it was only eight o'clock. She pulled into the driveway. The house was lit up. Derek was sitting at the dining room table when she walked in.

I let myself fall.

In love with you.

Meredith: Hey.

Derek: Hey. (He cocks his head.) What's the matter?

Meredith: I'm just tired. Quit reading me. Quit reading me!

Derek: Are you sure? Did you eat dinner? I stopped and picked up fettucini alfredo.

Meredith: I'm not hungry. Thanks. So, what are you doing?

Derek: Looking at the house plans. I think our bedroom needs to look out at the water. And the breakfast nook. I want to look at the water when we eat breakfast. What do you think? The dining room, that doesn't really matter, we won't use it as much. What do you think?

There's no turning back.

Since I let myself fall in love with you.

Meredith: (A future with Derek was lightening her mood.) I think you're right. The breakfast nook, needs to be built in. Like an octagon shape, with windows on all sides. Our room needs to be downstairs. You know, someday we'll be so old, we won't be able to walk up the stairs. Sooner for you...

Derek: Hey! I'm not old.

Meredith: Light hardwood floors, the bigger planks, they are easier on your feet. And that hot water that never runs out. I am tired of waking in a cold shower.

Derek: Good idea. Endless hot showers with you...

Meredith: This is good. This is the first time I've planned. We're planning. I can't wait.

Derek: Me either.

Derek went to bed. He had to work in the morning. Meredith looked around the house. She started grabbing boxes. She was going to pack. They were building a house. They were beginning. It was time to sell this house. She was ready to move forward. That meant so needed to start weeding things out. She was going to sell the house furnished. Most of the furniture in the house was new. There were a few things she would keep. Lois had a lot of antique furniture, that Meredith had packed in a POD. The furniture in their current house wasn't going to fit in well in the new house, which was going to be a little more rustic. Packing John's thinks was the worst. There were things that she knew Jackson would want. She packed them up to ship off. And Matt, he wasn't getting anything. She was going to put some of his things in storage. She couldn't get rid of it all, not yet. Finally around three she decided to go to bed.

Derek: (Stretches.) Ahh, where have you been?

Meredith: Packing.

Derek: Packing?

Meredith: Yes, packing. We will be moving to our house. Our new house. It's sooner than you think. A fresh start. I'm ready.

Derek: I love you, Mer.

Meredith: I love you too.

Now I picture things.

Wedding gowns and wedding rings.

Since I let myself fall in love with you.