"Well, well, well, if it isn't my old friend, Chris Irvine."
Chris groaned silently, but was actually happy for the distraction. Just seventeen hours earlier, Stephanie had told him that he was going to be a father. Seventeen hours later, he still hadn't quite wrapped his mind around the concept. It was just something you didn't expect your girlfriend to tell you before you go to bed. Or you expect the addendum, "but it was a false alarm." But Stephanie had it confirmed and appointments set up and this was just overwhelming.
"What are you doing here, Rocky?"
"That's the way you greet me, wow, and I thought we were friends, Irvine. I'm here to talk to Vince about the upcoming WrestleMania. If you weren't sitting on your lazy ass, you'd know about it. How don't you know about it seeing as how you're banging the boss's daughter?"
"Don't bring her up okay?" Chris mumbled as he looked down again.
"What? You and Stephanie broke up?" Rocky asked, turning off his usual "The Rock" persona and turning back into Dwayne Johnson. "Last time I talked to you, you said the two of you were having tons of fun, those were your words, right?"
"Yeah, and let's just say the tons of fun we were having was a little too fun and not safe enough," Chris said, being purposefully vague. "But you're coming back for WrestleMania, huh?"
"Oh yeah, like the diversion's going to distract me," Rocky said, rolling his eyes. "If you have something that's bothering you, we're friends Irvine, or at least I was under that impression since I carried your ass to the Undisputed Championship last year. Well, I carried your ass and you were doing Stephanie, who insisted that you win. So come on, did you two break up?"
"Nope."
"So then you had a fight? The feisty Stephanie McMahon got the better of you and you're here sulking like a little kid."
"She's pregnant," Chris said simply and Rocky peered over his sunglasses to his friend.
"She's…what?"
"Pregnant, she told me last night. She's more than two months pregnant and well, seeing as how she's my girlfriend, the baby is mine. She's having my baby."
"Oh wow," Rocky said, subdued, and that almost made Chris laugh because in the entire time he had known Rocky, he had never been subdued ever. He had made a lot of friends in this business, but none quite like Rock and he admired him as a man as a performer.
"Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too," Chris said with a mirthless laugh. "You know, you always hear about those guys who knock up their girlfriends and then run, and I always thought they should step up and take responsibility. I mean, it's happened in this business, some wrestler sleeps with a ring-rat, he knocks her up and then never sees the kid. But man, my first instinct was to get the hell out of there, just run. Now I know how those guys feel."
"Well--"
"No, not well, no well. I shouldn't have thought that. I mean, I shouldn't be thinking about quitting and changing my name and never seeing Stephanie again because she's pregnant. That's not me, that's never been me."
"You've also never knocked someone up before, so how would you know?"
"True," Chris shrugged. "Still, that's not the kind of guy I am."
"But did you run away? Did you leave her last night after she told you?"
"No, I told her that everything was going to be okay, that we'd be okay," he said.
"So look, you aren't that guy," he told Chris. "You aren't the guy that runs away or doesn't take responsibility. You didn't leave her."
"Her dad is going to kill me. Vince is going to kill me," Chris said. "Steph and I aren't married, not even engaged or anything. And I'm not going to marry her out of necessity."
Rocky chuckled. "Yeah, Vince is going to kill you…I can't believe you knocked up the boss's daughter."
"Not helping Rocky," Chris grumbled. "I don't know how we're going to tell her parents…or my parents for that matter. I don't even know what to do. Stephanie lives in Connecticut and I live in Florida, and we don't even see each other on the weekends. I don't want to half-ass being a dad."
"None of us do," Rocky responded, thinking about his own daughter. "You just have to do what you have to do. You've already stepped up and told her that you're going to be there, and if you aren't, you'll have about fifty wrestlers on your ass ready to beat you up because we all like Stephanie."
"I'll be fired before that could happen," Chris countered.
"Yeah, but in the end, you get a kid out of it…a kid changes you."
"So I've heard…at least it's with Stephanie, who is just about the most awesome chick I've ever met in my entire life…at least it's with her."
"See, every cloud has a silver lining."
When Rock walked down a hallway, you looked. You can't help it, he has a presence, and people who have a presence command attention. So when Raw took a turn to Los Angeles, Rock's new realm, he had to stop by to visit old acquaintances and catch up with old friends. And he still had an aura about him as he walked backstage, looking for one Chris Jericho. They had made plans to go out to dinner tonight and he decided to just hang out at the show beforehand.
He spotted Stephanie up ahead of him walking out of a door and not knowing anything of their break-up, he figured that she would have the best knowledge of where Chris was at the moment. He smiled as he walked up to her. "Stephanie McMahon, it's always such a pleasure to see you."
She turned to him and smirked, "What, no witty comment, no veiled insult, you're slipping, Dwayne."
"For my favorite brunette, never," he joked. "So where's that boyfriend of yours? We are supposed to go out to dinner and catch up, guys only, and I can't find his ass anywhere. I figured if anyone was going to know where he's at, you would. I figured that I could come and watch him get his ass kicked like usual."
"I don't know where he is," said Stephanie, her tone becoming sober.
"Figures," he said.
"No, not figures, we broke up," she told him plainly.
Rock chuckled loudly, "Okay, joke's on me right. You and Chris breaking up, that's just not possible. You two have been together for years…ahh, this is one of your jokes because I called last month with that message calling you a slut. Stephanie, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a compliment, I think so highly of you that I need to insult you?"
"Likely story," she told him with a glare. "But as for Chris and I, we broke up last month, and that's the truth because I said so."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you joking with The Rock?"
"Still referring to yourself in the third person I see," she told him plainly. The thing with Stephanie and Rocky was that they had a very banter-filled relationship. Chris and Rock had pretty much instantly hit it off when he entered the company, both of them being ego-driven maniacs, it was easy to see the connection. When Chris had started dating Stephanie, she had to deal with Rocky more often, which created an interesting dynamic between the two.
"Excuse me if I'm a little shocked since you two have been together for a really long time, not to mention you have a kid together."
"We just wanted different things," she said quickly, as she was still trying to believe that one herself. "I've actually got some things to do, but I'm sure if you look around, you'll find Chris."
"Yeah, thanks," he said, watching as he walked away.
Rock stood there for a second before pushing his sunglasses up his nose and deciding to find Chris and slap him upside the head. He probably deserved it for letting Stephanie go. Rock was no fool, he knew how well Chris and Stephanie went together and for Chris to let this happen, well he was a bigger idiot than even Rock had thought he was. He walked down the hallway until he came to the door with "Chris Jericho" written on it and figured if Chris was around, it was going to be here. He knocked loudly on the door.
"Come in!"
Rocky walked in and saw Chris taping up his wrists on the couch. Chris looked up and looked shocked for a minute. "I thought we were meeting up later."
"I decided to come hang out here and then I find out that you and Stephanie are broken up. You and Stephanie are broken up. What the hell is that about?"
"What you do mean what the hell is that about?" Chris asked. "Look, I don't want to discuss this before my match. After my match, fine, at dinner, fine, but not before. I need to concentrate and thinking about Stephanie is not going to do that."
"Fine, but this isn't over."
"Nothing ever is with you, Rocky," Chris said, rolling his eyes as he continued to tape up his wrists, knowing that Rocky was looking at him with a disapproving look. "Will you stop that?"
"What? Looking at the idiot who breaks up with his girlfriend of six years?"
"Look, I didn't want to break up with her, but I asked her to marry me…again, and she refused…again, and I can't live like that anymore. You know how long I've wanted to marry her, I still do, but she doesn't want to and I can't do anything about that."
"Bullshit," Rocky told him. "You know that there's shit you can do about that, you just aren't. And don't tell me that you aren't thinking about doing something."
"Fine," he conceded. "I was thinking about doing something, giving her the perfect proposal or something. But she's said no for the past five years, I hardly think another proposal is going to do the trick. I think…I'm starting to think that it may actually be over for us."
"You're kidding me with this, right?"
"Well tell me what I'm supposed to do," Chris snapped. "Tell me how I can convince someone who has been saying no to me for the past five years that she wants to marry me. I don't know how. I just don't know how to do it. Maybe I should realize that if she's been telling me no for half a decade, it's just never going to happen."
"Wow, I never thought you of all people would give up," Rocky told him in disgust. "Of all the people in the world, I never though Chris fucking Irvine would be the one to just throw in the towel."
"Oh get off it, Rocky."
"I go away to New Zealand for two months to film a movie and I come back and find you in complete chaos, I'm sorry if I'm a little confused here. Wasn't it just two months ago that you came down to Florida with Stephanie and Stephanie redux and you were acting all coupley to the point where I was going to puke?"
"This fight has been brewing between Stephanie and I for a long time."
"And yet, this time you break up."
"Yeah, it got to be too much."
"You're an asshole."
"I'm the asshole?" he scoffed. "I'm just the guy who wants to marry his girlfriend, the mother of his child. Excuse me for wanting that, I was obviously mistaken."
"Not that you jackass," Rocky told him. "You're just so willing to roll over, aren't you? You're just so willing to roll over and let this thing go through. You aren't fighting for her, you aren't going after her."
"Tell me why I should," he challenged.
"You know what, five years ago, you told me that you wanted to run away from Stephanie when she told you she was having a baby. I told you that you didn't run away, that you stood up for your responsibility, that you acted like a man. But now? I was wrong, you aren't a man, you are that coward. You are running away."
"How dare you!" Chris told him angrily, standing up and pacing in front of him, his face getting redder. He couldn't believe that he was being treated this way, and by one of his best friends, no less. "I've done everything! I've never run away. I took my responsibility seriously."
"Then you'd fucking fight for her if you claim to love her so much. You didn't run away five years ago, but to me, sitting here, it looks like you're running away right now," said Rocky as he regarded his friend. "Don't be that guy. Don't be the guy that runs away from a challenge. Didn't you once tell me that you never wanted to half-ass it as a dad?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"I'm not saying that guys aren't there for their kids if they aren't with the kid's mother, I'm not saying that at all. But you and Stephanie, this is unnecessary, Irvine. You love her, and you want to be with her, and excuse me if I find it just a little bit ridiculous that you aren't together. So that's half-assing it as a father. And you don't want to do that to Stephanie redux."
"Finn is fine," Chris said. "Finn's a trooper, he always has been. Any four year old who travels more than the average businessman is going to be a trooper, that's just a given."
"I can't believe you're going to sit on your ass with this one," his friend said, shaking his head. "You need to go after what you want. If you want Stephanie back, you've got to get off your ass and get her back!"
"But how?"
"I don't know, what the hell do you think I'm going to do, go get on my knee in front of her and propose myself?" Rock said, rolling his eyes. "Do I have to carry you in everything, Irvine? First I carry you to the Undisputed Championship, now I have to carry you in your relationships? It's getting tiring."
"It'd probably be a lot less tiring if you stopped bringing up how you carried me to the championship. It's been almost six years, I think it's time to get over that. Besides, I got the title again without your help."
"Only because you took your ass off television and then came back, which pretty much guaranteed you the title."
"So pretty much like your last two or three title runs?" Chris countered.
Rocky chuckled, "See, this is the Chris Irvine I know and tolerate."
"I still don't know what to do about Stephanie," he sighed. "I wish I did. I want to go after her, I need her. I just don't know how to get her to want me like I want her. She's been rejecting me for five years and every time I hear it, it doesn't get any easier."
"It isn't supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be hard, but…at the risk of sounding like a cheese-filled puff--"
"What is with you and pastries?" Chris asked.
"Shove it up your ass, Irvine. What I'm saying is that…the things that you had to work to get are more satisfying once you get them, and if you were going to have to work at anything, it was going to be Stephanie. That girl is the living embodiment of a spitfire. That and annoying, which is something that luckily that little male clone of hers didn't pick up."
"You're the only one who can insult a kid and not have it come off like an insult, it's rather amazing."
"When you're The Rock, most things are amazing. How is that Stephanie redux anyways?" he asked.
"Broke his hand a few days ago in preschool."
"Wow, so he does have some of your traits after all, and here we were all wondering if he'd end up at all like you and not the exact replica of Stephanie had she been born male," Rock said, once again insulting Finnegan in a playful manner. Rocky was the only one who could get away with that with his head still intact.
"Yeah, he picked up my ability to break bones," Chris quipped. "He was running around apparently and tripped and fell and there you have it, broken hand. He's fine though, he thinks the cast is cool, if not a little bit itchy. He's only two years younger than I was when I broke my elbow, so he'll bounce back."
"Of course he will, he's Stephanie's son, and she bounces back from everything, although she can't help it with those big tits of hers."
"Thanks for talking so crassly about the woman I love," Chris said sarcastically.
"Hey, she's not your girlfriend right now, thought I'd take advantage of it."
"You're so insightful for me."
"You want Stephanie, you have to go and get her. Don't be that guy you didn't want to be five years ago Chris. I've known you a long time, and I've known you with Stephanie for a long time, and you fit, and nobody else is ever going to take her knowing you're always going to be lurking in the background because of Stephanie redux."
"You make it all sound so simple, you forget this is Stephanie McMahon we're talking about, self-proclaimed hard-headed woman."
"Go for it, you just have to dive in and go for it. You want to marry her, so you get her to marry you. And when you do that, because I have complete faith that you will, see how nice I am, I'm going to be your best man."
"So now you're just going around appointing yourself to different roles. Is this how you get cast in your movies, you just invite yourself in and declare that you get the role?"
"Well at least I have roles and I didn't come running back to the business because my girlfriend asks me nicely to come back and I'm such a pussy I give in to her."
"The show needed me and I was back here all the time anyways," Chris grumbled. "So shut the hell up."
"Get new catchphrases."
"Seriously reducing your chance of being my best man. Anyways, I think Shane is going to want that…if Stephanie ever agrees to marry me."
"When, my friend, it's when," Rocky told him. "Besides, Shane's just going to have to get used to it. Especially because I was the one who helped you when Stephanie told you that she was pregnant, and I'm going to be so responsible for getting you back together this time since I lit a fire under your ass. I'm best man, period."
"Whatever, she has to say yes first."
"Don't you ever listen to The Rock?"
"Not really, you tend to go in one ear, out the other, like your fans." Rock glared at him for a second and Chris laughed, genuinely this time. "Ouch, Rock can dish it, but not take it. And what do you have to say about Stephanie, since you claim I don't listen to you."
"As long as you don't quit, she'll be yours."