DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.
Derek was at the kitchen table eating a bowl of Muesli, when Meredith came downstairs. He had opened of the curtains and blinds. She wasn't going to say anything about it. She was praying that he wouldn't. She walked over and grabbed a bowl and spoon. She looked at him while she poured milk in the bowl.
Derek: Good morning. (He smiled.)
Meredith: Good morning. (She smiled back.)
Derek: So, you had a death grip on me last night...
Meredith: I did not.
Derek: Yes, you did. I loved it, made me feel needed. So what happened? Why were you so upset?
Meredith: The movie, Derek. The movie scared me. How many times do I have to tell you that?
Derek: Ahh, and what movie was this? What was it called.
Meredith: I, uh. I can't remember.
Derek: I think I know. I think the main characters were Matt and Meredith.
Meredith: What are you talking about?
Derek: Is he bothering you?
Meredith: No. Can we please not talk about this right now?
Derek: Fine. Are you riding to work with me?
Meredith: That's fine. Sure. Whatever.
Derek: What is wrong with you?
Meredith: Nothing. I'm just trying to start my day off right. So far, it's not happening.
Derek and Meredith were silent during the ride to the hospital. Derek didn't need to be there that early. He wanted to go with her. He wanted to protect her, but he didn't want her to know that. One more day. Meredith thought. Just one more day, and he will be gone. But what if he doesn't leave? What if he decided to move to Seattle. At least once Melanie goes home, he won't have a reason to be at Seattle Grace. Knowing him, he would volunteer, or find a reason to be there daily. He had been living off of his parents money for a very long time. He didn't need to go home and work. When Derek pulled in the parking lot she looked all around, looking for his car. She didn't see it. That didn't mean he wasn't there. It was only five in the morning, if he was there, he was definitely stalking her. Visiting hours didn't start for quite a while. She and Derek walked into the hospital. Chief Webber was in the lobby and Derek stopped to talk to him. Meredith took the stairs. Derek took notice. Meredith quietly crept up the stairs. Every time she heard a door open, she held her breath. She heard it once again. She looked back and as she did, she ran right into Mark. She shrieked.
Mark: Whoa there, Firecracker!
Meredith: Sorry. You scared me.
Mark: Are you okay?
Meredith: I'm fine. Hey you're discharging Melanie Taylor today, right?
Mark: Yeah, why?
Meredith: I was just wondering.
Mark: Are you sure you're okay? You look pale. You're acting a little paranoid.
Meredith: I'm fine, really. I have to go. Have a good day.
Mark: You too. (She continues up the stairs, he watches her.)
Meredith continued on her journey. She got to her floor. The locker room in her sight was like her salvation. She made it. Now all she had to do was avoid Melanie and Matt. She swung the door open and headed straight to her locker. Her stomach was doing flips. She was nervous about seeing him. It was inevitable, she knew it. He was everywhere she didn't want him to be.
Cristina: Are you okay?
Meredith: I think he was driving by the house last night. No, he wasn't. I'm paranoid, right? Now I have to avoid him all day. Damn-it!
Cristina: Did you tell McDreamy?
Meredith: No, and I'm not going to. I can handle this on my own.
Cristina: You know he isn't leaving, right? You will have to confront him eventually.
Meredith: I was planning on avoiding him the rest of my life.
Cristina: Yeah, that's going to work. (Izzie walks in with George.)
Izzie: What's going on?
Cristina: Mer is avoiding Matt.
Izzie: Good luck with that. Why do all the hot ones have issues? I swear.
George: Maybe if you considered other guys, average guys.
Izzie: I am not like that. I don't judge guys by their looks. I dated some ugly guys.
George: Like who? (Alex walks in.)
Izzie: Alex.
Alex: What?
Cristina: Barbie was just telling us how she has dated ugly guys. Mainly, you.
Alex: Hey, I'n not ugly. Just ask the nurses, they can't resist.
George: They would know. You are working your way through the hospital. Floor by floor.
Alex: You bet I am.
Izzie: You're an ass! (Bailey walks in.)
Bailey: Pre-rounds. Let's go!
Bailey gave Melanie to Meredith. Meredith couldn't believe it. Just her luck. The one room she was planning on avoiding all day, and she gets assigned to it. A few days ago, Bailey was kicking her out, now she was assigning her to Melanie. It was early. Visitors were not permitted yet. But Matt was famous for not playing by the rules. She has always known that. She opened the door and whispered Melanie's name, then she switched the light on.
Meredith: I'm here to check on you.
Melanie: I'm fine. A little early, don't you think?
Meredith: Too early... (She checks everything over and marks her chart.) Everything looks good. You and Matt can go home today. Mark-Dr. Sloan will discharge you today.
Melanie: I don't think he's going with me.
Meredith: What?
Melanie: He wants to stay. I told you. Now Seattle can have his worthless ass.
Meredith: But he has to go...
Melanie: Has he said anything to you?
Meredith: About what?
Melanie: I think you know...
Meredith: No, he hasn't.
Melanie: He will...
Meredith: I have to get back to work. So good riddance!
Melanie: Bye. I can't wait to get out of this shit hole.
Meredith got assigned to do a do a valve replacement with Dr. Burke. She was happy to be scrubbing in. She didn't want to be out anywhere where Matt could find her. Cristina was jealous. She was with Addison. Cristina had absolutely no interest in OB. She was going into cardio, yet Bailey insisted on torturing her. Meredith was in the operating room with Burke. Burke was concentrating hard. If there was one thing Meredith liked about Burke, he didn't talk about anything personal. He was all business.
Burke: So, how's the stalking going?
Meredith: (In shock.) Wha-what?
Burke: That friend of yours, Matt. Cristina said something about him stalking you.
Meredith: She's crazy. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Everything is fine.
Burke: Are you sure? This is something you shouldn't fool around with.
Meredith: I'm fine.
Burke: You like to say that, don't you? You've gotten so good at saying it, it's almost like you are beginning to believe it yourself. (Meredith didn't answer.)
Meredith finished the surgery with Burke. She hadn't seen or heard from Matt. Maybe he left, maybe he got the clue. She decided to go get something from the cafeteria, and go outside. She grabbed a salad and a pink lemonade. The trip from the cafeteria to the tables outside was uneventful. No sign of Matt. That was until she saw her friends, and there he was. Loitering. Anger rushed over her whole body.
Matt: Hey.
Meredith: Don't you have something better to do? Like, I don't know...visit with your sister.
Matt: I was hungry.
Meredith: You could eat with her. Besides, we are working. This is our only break. We're tired, we're not in the mood to socialize. (Everyone nodded. They were surprised that she was being so bold.)
Matt: I just thought I would visit with you. You know, talk about our life...
Meredith: According to your sister, you don't have one.
Matt: Hmm, not so friendly today, are we Mer?
Meredith: I am acting just how I do everyday.
Matt: This is funny. See, this is typical Meredith. She was so bold, and nervy growing up. She didn't have family around, so she didn't know how to act. Then she was with John. She turned herself into his puppet. She acted just how he wanted her to. Like a puppet. And now with Derek, she's just a bitch. (Everyone is in shock.)
Meredith: (She throws her lemonade right in his face.) Fuck you, Matt! (She gets up and walks away.)
Alex: Dude, that blew up in your face. (Matt gets up and chases her.)
Matt: Meredith, wait! (She stops.)
Meredith: What?!
Matt: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
Meredith: Really? No kidding.
Matt: I didn't mean it. I was mad.
Meredith: Well, it sure flew out of your mouth like you meant it! This is it! This is the last straw. (She points her finger in his face. The other interns are watching intently.) You have been acting like a complete idiot. You don't own me. See those people over there? (She points.) They are my friends! You cannot seem to share me with them. I don't want to do this. I can't do this. (She starts waving her arms at him.) I am going back over to eat my lunch, with my friends. You are going upstairs to your sister and you are going home today. This thing we have, this "friendship", it's over! Done.
Matt: But, let me ex-
Meredith: Go, just go. Now! Get the hell out of my face. (She walks back to the table. Her friends are in shock.)
Izzie: Whoa!
Cristina: That was...
Alex: I thought you were going to hit him. Man. You started waving your arms around...
George: What did you say to him? What's going on?
Meredith: Let's just eat our lunch, okay? Damn-it, I wasted my lemonade on that ass! (She grabs George's water.)
George: Hey!
Meredith: You can share!
Cristina: Are you coming to Joe's tonight?
Meredith: No. Derek and I have a thing to do tonight?
Alex: A thing? Oh...A thing.
Meredith: Not that thing! It's just a- We have plans.
Cristina: Like what?
Meredith: Stuff. How about Friday? Friday is good.
Izzie: I have a date Friday.
Meredith: A date? Do tell...
Izzie: He is a radiology technician.
Cristina: What? He's not even a freaking doctor?
Alex: (He laughs.) The dude with the uni-brow?
Izzie: He does not have a uni-brow! Besides, he's a nice guy. Not an ass like some person I used to date, who is at this table.
Alex: Are you talking about me?
Meredith: You can be an ass sometimes.
Alex: I can go along with that.
Meredith: So you guys are all coming to our house on Tuesday, right?
Alex: For what?
Izzie: The announcement, dumb ass. Yes, I'm coming.
Cristina: I guess. Do I have to bring Burke?
Meredith: Yes, Cristina.
Alex: I don't know if I am...
Meredith: Free food and drink...
Alex: I'm in.
George: Callie and I have a-
Izzie: Save it. Callie knows and she's coming.
George: Oh. I guess we'll be there then.
Meredith: Good. Don't worry, I'm not cooking.
Cristina: Thank God for that.
Meredith: Maybe I can cook! You don't know. I haven't really tried.
Cristina: Just face the music.
Meredith: Fine, I can't. Are you happy now? I better get back to Burke. I am on his service today!
Cristina: Way to rub it in, Adulterous Whore!
Meredith: I know you're jealous, Crack-whore.
Izzie: You two are pathetic.
Meredith and Cristina: Shut up, Horny Whore!
Alex: I'm leaving, too many whore at one table. (They all laugh.)
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Meredith had managed to stay busy all day. Dr. Burke had her running like crazy. Matt had completely disappeared. She went by Melanie's room, and she was still in there. They were taking forever to discharge her. She didn't even see Derek all day. They had to meet with the builder after work. She made sure she had everything done on time. She didn't want them to be late. She needed to go change her clothes. She headed toward the elevator, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was empty. She leaded against the wall. Just as the doors started to shut, a hand stopped them. Shit. Matt walks in. She avoid his lingering gaze.
Please don't do what I say
Cause if you don't love me, its worthless anyway
Please don't trouble yourself
You'll only go away in the end
Matt: String-bean... (He draws it out.)
Meredith: I can't...
Matt: November 5th was the worst day of my life. Do you know why?
Meredith: No...
Please don't follow all my commands
Cause what's the point in that
I keep hoping that all of your plans
Will fall through the roof
Matt: (He pulls the emergency stop button. She tenses up.) I can remember it like it was yesterday. You were wearing that green shirt that John hated. The long sleeved one; the one that you loved to wear. And your favorite jeans. The ones that were falling apart. John was at football practice. We were watching. You were talking about a test that was coming up. Biology, I think. I wasn't listening to you. All I could do was watch you. Watch your mouth move, and your amazing eyes. It was in my head. I was finally ready. I had gotten up the nerve. I was getting ready to tell you. You blurted it out, "John asked me to marry him." just like that. I was floored. I felt like my world was ending. And then you said, "I said yes." I tried to pretend I was happy. I tried to act like everything was okay, but it wasn't. Because what I was going to say was that I loved you. I was going to tell you that you didn't belong with John, and that you wouldn't be happy with him. He was serious and dull. You and I were fun. You should have been mine. I have loved you forever. (She tries to talk.) Stop. I need to say this. We could have been happy. But I was a wimp, I never told you. All the sleeping around I did, I was just trying to find another you. I did everything you liked. I dressed in the clothes you liked. Then you did that. You floored me. The day after graduation I left. I went to New York. I couldn't watch you do it. I couldn't watch you give your life to him. I came back for his funeral. I thought that I could have a second chance, and now...
Like two ships passing in the night were gone
Only the moon and the stars in the sky did know
To cry for me
As I sailed on
Meredith: Matt, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Matt: How could you not know?
Meredith: I was so wrapped up in myself, I never noticed.
Matt: And now--now you have Derek. He's just a replacement. You don't know how to be alone. I'm here Meredith, and I love you.
Please don't trouble yourself
I only want your love
You keep giving me your help
Oh please stop playing along
You know your wasting your energy
And your breaking my heart
Meredith: I love Derek.
Matt: You are using him to fill the void John left.
Meredith: No, I'm not.
Matt: Mer--I know you...
Meredith: Matt, John and I were getting a divorce. I was leaving him for Derek. Derek wasn't a fling, or a replacement. He is the guy. He is the one. I look at him and I feel like no matter what everything will be okay. He makes me whole. He is the man I want to wake up to every morning. I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you.
Oh I can just see it now (I can see it now)
Your recklessly in love
Your hearts boiling over
Oh I can just see it now
Your coming around
Matt: You could. you just have to give us a try...
Meredith: No, Matt. I am not going to be in another loveless relationship.
Matt: Please, Mer. Don't do this to me. (He tears up.)
Meredith: Matt, I don't want to hurt you. I really don't. I can't help who I love.
Matt: Meredith...(It rolls of his tongue, trying to entangle her emotions. She presses the button.)
Meredith: I am going to marry Derek. I am going to live happily ever after with him.
Matt: Please, don't do this to me.
Meredith: Matt, you are hurting me. Please, don't make this harder.
Matt: I can't go through this again...
Meredith: If you really love me, you will find someone who will love you back and you will never think of me again. If you care about me at all, you will walk out of this elevator and never look back. (The doors open to the lobby.)
Matt: I will always love you, Mer. (She looks at his tear-filled eyes. He walks out, and doesn't look back. Derek is standing out in the lobby with Alex. His deep blue eyes meet her green ones. The doors close.)
Like two ships passing in the night were gone
Only the moon and the stars in the sky did know
To cry for me
As I sailed on
Meredith's ride back up to her floor was peaceful. She felt bad, having to tell him that she had no feelings for him. He wasn't going to come back. She knew him well enough to know that that was the last time she would ever see him again. It was bittersweet. He was the only tie to her past. He was the only one that knew how she was back then. Back before all of the damage had been done. She went right into the locker room and began changing her clothes.
Meredith: He's gone.
Cristina: Who?
Meredith: Matt.
----------------
Matt walks out of the elevator. He feels like he has lost everything. He feels like she was out of his grip. She slide through his fingers like sand. He wasn't sure where to go from here. There he was, Derek Shepherd, the man she gave her heart to. That lucky bastard who was able to steal Meredith Grey's heart. As Matt walked by, Derek turned. Matt walked up to him, tears in his eyes.
I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I have went to my head
Step outside 'cause summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off you face
'Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out
Matt: I thought money could buy anything. I thought I could have anything I wanted. I was wrong. There was only one thing I wanted in this world, and you have her. Have a nice life, Derek. (He walks away.)
So Sally can wait
She knows it's too late
As she's walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
At least not today
Meredith just sat in the locker room not talking. She didn't want to break his heart. It did, however, feel finished. She was relieved. Matt was gone. He wasn't going to bother her anymore. Alex walks in the locker room, followed by Derek. Meredith looks up at him with a faint smile.
Derek: Are you okay?
Meredith: I am.
Alex: Dude, you are a heartbreaker! That guy was freaking crying!
Izzie: Alex!
Alex: What? She's a destroyer. A crusher. I didn't think you had it on you.
Meredith: I did what I had to do to protect my happiness.
Izzie: So what did he say?
Meredith: None of that matters now. (She looks at Derek. She gets up and grabs his hand.) Let's go start our life together. (They walk out.)
Derek: (He leans in and whispers.) I love you. I'm sorry you had to do that.
Meredith: Me too.
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Thanks to all of you that review daily, I do notice! To the others--you suck! Just kidding, I'm not so great about reviewing myself, so I do understand. You are just readers in the closet. :) As for Joe, he is in "If Tomorrow Never Comes" and "Save Me", I do believe. Let me know id you see him. He is in the background. He does speak, that's how I noticed, and the I saw him from the side and was like "Holy Crap, that's Joe!" I had never noticed and I have watched season one more that I care to admit.