Time of your Life (Good Riddance)
Another
turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by
the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of
this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a
lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in
the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So
take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it
on a shelf
in good health and good time.
Tattoos of
memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it
was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable
but
in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your
life.
(music break)
It's something unpredictable
but
in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's
something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you
had the time of your life.
Love is a difficult thing. I should know, I've fallen in and out and have roamed every space it has allowed me to roam. Love makes you sick to your stomach, it crushes you, it lifts you back up, it pats you on the back, it offers you second chances, it is more humane then you could ever believe.
I can't believe so many years have gone by. The memories are bitter, like lemons. I can remember the day of my sorting at Hogwarts. It was dank and swampy in the Great Hall and my cloak was a new thing for me, something I wasn't quite used to yet. Everyone in the room had a wand, but me. I didn't need one. This was a very strange thing for me and it made me stammer and blush whenever anyone asked me about my peculiar talents. Just before Sirius Black, my best friend at the time, was called up to the Sorting Hat, he had given my hand a squeeze like he always does before we embark on a new journey together. It was then, that I realized maybe Sirius didn't think he was just my friend. I began to worry.
I worried and fretted until Sirius found a new group of friends. They dubbed themselves The Marauders and became infamous for the good looks and troublemaking skills. Girls of all ages flocked to The Marauders' leaders: Sirius and James Potter, the closest of the foursome. Sirius was a flirt, I soon realized as well. He rolled in the lavish attention.
I found a new friend myself, my first female friend. Lily Evans. She was James Potter's crush and she hated him. Lily didn't swear, she didn't enjoy the dangerous side of life, she was studious and very bright intellect-wise. She was also a muggle-born student. I couldn't have been happier with my new best friend.
Sirius did not disappear from my life, in fact, I believe in a way, he became a stronger influence. I soon learned to love the Marauders as my brothers. They were funny and they provided balance to my stormy home life.
My older sister, Lucy, hadn't started to do magic until the day my acceptance letter to Hogwarts arrived. I think the pressure had mounted and she had seen her chance to escape her own bindings of being called a squib all of her life. I had set the boundaries for Lucy by performing magic first, for being myself.
My parents divorced. My father, Jacob Donnelly, is a bastard. He was caught cheating. My mother, Felicity Liam remarried a wonderful man, my stepfather, Timothy Welsh. Together, Tim and Felicity had my half sister, Natalie. To this day, I wonder what's it like to know about magic, but not be able to touch it or perform it. Is Natalie jealous of Lucy and I? Or is she glad she does not have to restrictions that we do?
I have a half-brother, Tommy. He is Jacob's son from his marriage before Felicity. Tommy's a werewolf. After being bitten, Jacob hid him in caves until Lucy and I found out about our half brother. I would like to think that we came to his rescue. I guess we did, in a weird sort of way. Lucy desperately wanted to learn how to become an Animagus so we could accompany Tommy during his transformations. I succeeded almost immediately and had turned into a fox. I had to perform the magic for Lucy, but I had to secretive about it. I could-and-still-can't bring myself to tell Lucy that I have always made her an Animagus, not her.
I met my fiancé, Simon Costello, when I was fourteen. This was before he made it big as a musician/singer. He taught me how to play the piano and during one of those lessons, he kissed me. It was the best kiss I had ever experienced and still have, to this very day. I continued to see Simon despite his being a muggle and my being a witch and always being away at Hogwarts. I snuck out every Tuesday and Saturday to see him. Oh, there was another 'big' difference between Simon and I, when I was fourteen, he was seventeen. The three-year difference made a lot of people uneasy, Sirius and Lily included. Despite all of this, we made it as a couple and made the relationship work… until I came out to him about being a witch.
Back then, Simon was a heavy drinker and druggie. He liked his crack way too much and was always drunk or high. The night I told him, he was slightly both. He went ballistic and threw a beer bottle at my face and it smashed, causing a gash on my cheek. It scarred over and I still carry it with me everyday, it is a heavy reminder of the biggest mistake of my life. I entered Simon into rehab and broke it off with him for a while. This was all when I was 16. Simon was 19.
After Christmas vacation, right before I turned 17, Simon popped back into my life. I was going out with Sirius at the time, he was painfully in love with me and vice versa. Simon was sorry and he had written a song about me with his band, King of the Jungle "Weeping Willows". I was grateful and stupid enough to take him back. Not stupid, though, foolish.
Once I saw him, I fell under the Simon Costello curse once more. I kissed him. Sirius found out. Sirius got punch drunk and rummaged through my things and had sex with another girl. I kissed Simon. Sirius nailed Jenna Kelly. I was crushed. Sirius was shattered.
Simon and I grew together once more. I was still in love with Sirius. It's a long story and I think I should stop here. You should know the rest.
However, I will answer a few of my own questions:
Am I still in love with Sirius?
No.
Why am I not still in love with Sirius?
Because it is no longer fair to Simon.
I miss Sirius, though. I miss him as a partner, I miss the spot he used to fill. No matter how hard Simon tries, he will never manage to fill the spot Sirius created. Never.
Love,
Suzie