Okay, because Blu thought I should give Bobby brain damage, and everyone else asked me not to, I found a middle ground! Yay! So, here's chapter two of Collide. Enjoy, and please review!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize, including the characters and the songs Lean On Me and Because You Love Me. I am sad...
This chapter is for Blu, JusticeIsBlind13, and Confused. Ya'll are great!
The days passed in a blur for Alex, one melting into the next. The only relief she could find was in her new niece, whom Mike often brought to her to visit with. But she only provided a small amount of distraction, then her focus was back on her injured and comatose partner.
A month after Bobby had been admitted into the hospital, his doctor, Dr. Patterson, entered his room solemnly. Alex was dozing lightly in her chair, with her arm draped over Bobby's waist and her head resting carefully on his arm. When she heard the footfall, she bolted upright in her chair and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She turned her head, and on seeing Patterson, rose out of her seat and smiled faintly at him. But he noticed that she stayed directly between him and her partner's bed, not that he could blame her.
Her smile faded as she took in his grim expression, and she crossed her arms over her chest and took a firm stance, saying, "I assume you don't have good news in that folder, do you Dr. Patterson?"
He could hear the grief in her voice, and he knew that she wasn't wrong. Opening the folder, he leafed through some of the pages, then raised his gaze to meet hers. "I really wish I had better news for you, Detective Eames-"
"But?"
"I'm very sorry, but Mr. Goren's condition has not improved since he was admitted. We've run test after test, and we've repeated every one of them, but they've all shown the same conclusion." Alex's breath hitched in her throat, and she closed her eyes, hoping to awaken from this nightmare that had come to be her life. "Mr. Goren is brain dead. His brain waves have nearly ceased, and his body does not respond to any kind of stimuli. Essentially, there is no hope for recovery. The life support is breathing for him, and there is no possibility that he will recover," he stated, and she cringed at his callousness. But what passed his lips next would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. "If I were you, I would terminate the life support and get on with your life." Her reaction could be heard throughout the hospital, and even into the parking lot of the building.
"How dare you, you callous son of a bitch!" she screamed, and Patterson blanched and took an unsteady step backward. But Alex stormed forward and shoved him into the wall behind him, not caring that he had nearly a foot and a hundred pounds on her. Not when it came to her partner. She shoved her fist into his stomach, smirking in satisfaction as he gasped and sank to the floor, clutching his stomach.
She stood over him, her fists clenching and unclenching as she contemplated delivering another blow to him, but she was interrupted when Mike and Deakins walked into the room. One look at the injured doctor and Alex's hostile posture had Mike wrapping his arms around the petite woman and gently guiding her around the room and to the other side of Bobby's bed. She immediately collapsed into the chair beside his bed and grabbed her partner's hand with her right hand, hiding her eyes in her other.
Mike stood beside the chair and laid his hands on her shoulders, gently squeezing them and murmuring softly to her.
Deakins watched Mike attempt to comfort Alex, then turned to the doctor, who was still gasping and clutching his stomach. He knew that Alex had hit him, and he also knew that she had not done it without good reason. Crouching in front of Patterson, Deakins glared at him and hissed, "What did you say to her"
Patterson looked up at him and managed to mumble through gritted teeth, "I just told her that her partner isn't going to get any better."
"That is not what you said!" Alex snarled from across the room, and Mike had to gently hold her down in the chair to keep her from leaping up and finishing the guy off. He dipped his head down to her ear and murmured, "Alex, calm down. Bobby might not be able to talk to you, but he can still hear you. Do you really want him listening to you attack a doctor?" She paused, then shook her head. But the frustration was still evident on her face as she picked up Bobby's hand and caressed his knuckles with her thumb.
Deakins returned his attention to the indignant doctor, who rose to his feet and straightened his white jacket. "I want to file a complaint against your detective," Patterson stated in a strained voice, and Mike and Deakins whipped their heads around to stare at him in amazement. They looked at Alex, and on seeing her expression grow stormy, expected her to launch a verbal assault on the detestable man. But it never came. Instead, she leaned forward in her chair and brushed her lips against Bobby's cheek, tenderly smoothing his thick curls away from his forehead with her loving hand.
Despite her cool exterior, Deakins could see the fury that lurked just beneath the surface, and he quickly ushered Patterson out of the room, ignoring the doctor's protests. Once he was gone, Alex fell apart, burying her face in Bobby's arm as the sobs shook her petite frame. Mike knew that no words would be appropriate, so he remained standing beside her chair, his hand absently rubbing circles on her back as he thought. He knew that the doctor was telling the truth, but like Alex, he couldn't swallow it. This was Bobby Goren they were talking about! If anyone could pull through something like this, it would be him.
Mike stayed with her for a while longer, until visiting hours were over and he was forced to leave. Deakins had already made arrangements as soon as Alex was released for her to be able to stay with Bobby, and not be forced to leave once visiting hours were over. Once he was gone, Alex waited a little while longer, then started her nightly ritual that had developed since the first night she had stayed with him.
Rising to her feet, she quickly used the restroom, brushed her teeth, and grabbed her quilt from the bottom of the closet, gently covering her partner with it. Then, careful of the wires and tubes that protruded from his body, Alex slowly eased herself onto the bed with Bobby, laying one arm over his waist and laying her head carefully on his chest. His chest slowly rose and fell with the aid of the machines, and her tears were falling from her eyes before she realized that she was crying.
She didn't know why it passed her lips at that exact moment, but as it did, she let the melody take her over, and her soft, airy voice filled the room as she sang gently to her partner.
I don't know how I survived
In this cold and empty world for all this time
I only know that I'm alive
Because you love me
When I recall what I've been through
There's some things that I wish I didn't do
Now I do the things I do
Because you love me
And now that you're in my life
I'm so glad I'm alive
Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me
And now that you're in my life
Oh, I'm so glad I'm alive
Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me
I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me
With all my heart and all my soul
I'm loving you and I never will let go
And every day I'll let it show
Because you love me
Because you love me
Because you love me
She finished the song even softer than she had began it, and she gently picked up Bobby's hand, tracing the lines in his skin with her fingertips. Even as she looked at him, felt his heart beating, felt his skin warm and soothing against her own, Patterson's words swirled around in her mind. It broke her heart to think that he might be right, and she couldn't even bring herself to contemplate the thought of turning off his life support. Not while he was still fighting. She just couldn't do that to him, ever.
Tucking her small hand into his, she sighed deeply and rested her head on his shoulder, kissing his cheek before closing her eyes and drifting into a restless sleep, plagued with nightmares.
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Alex was sitting on the edge of Bobby's bed, gently running a moist cloth over his face when Deakins walked in, his expression grim but determined. Behind him, a man with wavy chestnut hair and intense blue eyes walked in, and he offered Alex a small smile. Deakins walked up to Alex, then motioned to the other man and said, "Alex, I thought you would like to know that I found a second doctor for Bobby. One who is not so callous."
The doctor stepped forward and offered his hand to Alex, which she reluctantly accepted. "I'm Dr. Page," he stated as a means of introduction, and she nodded at him, then returned her focus to Bobby. He glanced at Deakins, who shrugged his shoulders. He opened the folder in his hand and began flipping through the papers inside, exhaling quietly as he said, "I'm afraid that my diagnosis is the same as Dr. Patterson's. Mr. Goren's brain activity is minimal, and he doesn't respond to any kind of stimuli. I'm sorry, Miss Eames."
Alex froze for a moment, then continued to run the cloth over Bobby's forehead. Deakins looked at Page, then said, "Alex, I know this hurts. Believe me, it's hurting all of us. But we need to think about what's best for Bobby."
"It sure as hell isn't in his best interest to be dead!" Alex snapped, and Deakins blanched, but quickly recovered.
"Alex, I know it hurts, but it's the truth. Bobby isn't going to get better. The machines are keeping him alive now. He's not in there. Bobby is gone." With every word that passed his lips, Alex felt a piece of herself die, because she knew he was right. She just couldn't accept the fact that her partner, her best friend, was never going to wake up. He was never going to smile that gentle smile at her again. He was never going to take her out to dinner to celebrate winning a case again. Suddenly the dam broke, and she couldn't hold back the tears that flooded down her cheeks, and she turned her back on Deakins and the doctor, burying her face in Bobby's stomach.
Deakins saw her tears and heard her sobs, and his own heart broke, because as much as he hated it, he was right. And he knew that that knowledge was slowly but surely destroying Alex. He glanced at Page, then walked out of the room, with Page directly behind him.
As soon as she heard them leave, Alex climbed up onto the bed with Bobby, her body still shaking with repressed sobs. Not caring if anyone saw her, she slipped her arms around Bobby's waist, then buried her face in his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin combined with the antiseptic smell of the hospital, and she shivered.
More tears slid down her cheeks, and she gasped and held him tightly to her, whispering, "Please, Bobby. You can't leave me. You can't." After a few moments of holding him and feeling the warmth that radiated off of his body, her shaking subsided, and she wiped her tears away. Then she began speaking in a quiet, shaky voice. "Bobby, you made me promise a long time ago that I would never leave you. And I never once broke that promise. Now you can't leave me. Don't you dare even think about giving up on me, because I would never give up on you."
His features remained passive, but the heart monitor continued to beep with a calming rhythm, and Alex sighed and kissed his neck gently. "I love you, Bobby," she murmured, running her hand gently over his chest. "Please, please don't make me lose you. I don't think I could deal with it." She shuddered, then closed her eyes, draping her arm protectively over his waist before giving into her exhaustion.
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Mike and Carolyn smiled at each other as Alex sat on the edge of Bobby's bed with Brianna in her arms, cooing softly at the month old infant. "She's precious, you guys," Alex stated softly, and Mike rose to his feet to stand beside her, one hand resting on her shoulder. Alex looked up at him, and a silent understanding passed between them. He leaned over and kissed his daughter's forehead, then stood upright again and looked down at Bobby.
A silence settled over the room, until Brianna let out a piercing wail, and Carolyn smiled and said, "Just like her daddy. Always hungry, and demanding to boot." Mike just shrugged his broad shoulders, and Alex handed him the baby so he could take her to her mother. As Carolyn fed the baby, Alex felt a sense of pain and longing that she thought had been long since buried, and she turned and picked up Bobby's hand, holding it between her two tiny ones.
For the next little while, all that could be heard was the sound of the baby eating, then Carolyn adjusted her shirt and laid Brianna on her shoulder, patting her tiny back gently. She looked up at Mike, who looked to be deep in thought. She heard a tiny burp in her ear, then she laid her daughter in the crook of her arm, and began humming softly.
Mike recognized the song that his partner was humming, and his eyes widened as the idea dawned on him. Glancing back and forth between the three women and comatose man, he cleared his throat, then began to sing softly.
Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise we know that there's
Always tomorrow
Alex immediately recognized the song, and tears filled her eyes as she realized that it was hers and Bobby's song, the one that she always sang to him, and that he had sang to her several times. A tear slid down her cheek, and she gripped Bobby's hand tighter, pulling their hands into her lap.
Mike glanced at Carolyn, and she nodded her understanding. She saw Alex grab Bobby's hand and pull it into her lap, and she sang softly, her voice gentle and loving.
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
As Carolyn finished the chorus, she and Mike began the next verse together, their voices blending into a perfect, untainted harmony.
Please swallow your pride if I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show
Much to their surprise and delight, Alex joined in on the next part, her voice soft and strained. But as they sang together, she relaxed, and they all smiled as they continued to sing the song.
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Alex stopped singing, but Mike and Carolyn continued, and she sat back and enjoyed the duet, allowing herself to smile as Mike began to clap softly.
Just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
The next part was Alex's favorite, and it was also the part that tugged at her heart the most. Whenever she sang the song to Bobby, it was always the part where she had laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. It was also the part that held the best memories of her and Bobby, and the part that warmed her heart the most. It was always after this part that he would finally break down and told her what was bothering him. And it was the part that spoke the most to the both of them.
Suddenly she could hear Bobby as clear as ever singing with her, and it was like they were in the SUV on their way to a crime scene, and the song had come on the radio. She closed her eyes, and she could see him sitting beside her, singing with the song with his hand on her leg and a carefree smile on his lips.
She opened her eyes again, and she couldn't help but join in as they sang the last part together.
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
If you just call me
Just call me when you need a friend
Just call me when you need a friend
The song ended, and Mike and Carolyn looked at Alex, who had begun laughing and crying at the same time. "Hey, are you okay, sweetheart?" Mike asked softly, and Alex wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, then nodded.
"Thanks, you guys. That was just what I needed," she said softly, and Mike hugged her gently, running his hand up and down her back. She returned the hug, then sniffed and suddenly began laughing outright. Mike and Carolyn watched her curiously, and she took a deep breath and motioned to her partner, saying, "I could just see him rolling his eyes and telling us to stop worrying about him and get on with our lives." She glanced down at her partner and laughed again, the sound very welcome to Carolyn and Mike's ears. The baby gurgled, and soon they were all laughing whole heartedly.
Alex moved to sit beside Bobby on the bed, her hands still firmly clasping his. The pain was still there, but laughing and knowing that she could depend on Mike and Carolyn for anything eased a little of her hurt and anger. She leaned over and brushed her lips against Bobby's cheek, murmuring softly to him, "You see what you're missing out on, Goren? Please wake up."
Then she caressed his face and sat upright, turning to talk to Mike and Carolyn. But as she opened her mouth, a small squeak came out, and they looked at her with curiosity and worry.
"Alex, hon what's wrong?" Mike asked warily, and she looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes.
"Mike, Bobby just squeezed my hand!"
TBC...
A/N: So, everyone happy with the middle ground? Good. Now, review, bunnies! I love ya'll!