Chapter Four

The next day Riku woke up next to Axel with his clothes on…

Odd.

Riku thought over last nights events before realizing that he'd actually slept next to Axel without the red head trying to do anything. Very odd indeed. Their relationship MUST be getting serious.

Riku unwrapped Axel's arms from their position around his waist and got up out of bed. Behind him he heard Axel getting up as well and grumbling about his serious lack of sex.

"Is that all you can think about? Sex?" asked Riku cocking an eyebrow and placing a fist on his hip. Axel scoffed indignantly.

"Of course not… I think about uh," he paused, "I think about you for one thing."

"You think about me having sex with you," accused Riku pointedly.

"So?"

"That's still thinking about sex."

"No it's not; sex with you is so not your average sex."

"But it's still sex."

"How so?"

"I-… It's still sex!"

"Oh yeah? Define sex."

"Uh well er…"

-

"FINE THEN! WE'LL LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY!"

Everyone in the Organization XIII household looked up from their morning breakfast to see a fuming Riku stomping down the stairs followed by a snickering Axel.

Riku snatched a dictionary from the living room shelf and began to tear through its pages furiously.

"Axel what did you do to piss him off now?" asked Roxas in a bored fashion, not taking his eyes away from his scrambled eggs.

"Um well…" Axel scratched his head.

"HA!" cried Riku snatching up the book and jamming it directly under Axel's nose, "READ!"

The silver haired teen followed this statement by walking back upstairs and laughing maniacally. Axel sighed and read:

Sex /seks/ n. 1. Intercourse sexual intercourse.

Axel blinked. It's such a short definition…

He looked up and shouted after Riku, "I still don't think it's the same thing!"

His reply was an indignant roar of:

"YOU DON'T THINK SEX WITH ME COUNTS AS INTERCOURSE?!"

Xemnas and the other people in the room shook their heads and continued eating.

-

Riku was tired from lack of sleep. He'd stayed up most of the night due to nightmares. There were bags under his eyes and his hair was slightly limp; it didn't quite have its usual sparkle of life or sheen.

"Oh whoa," said Sora walking up, cheerfulness melting into concern, "are you okay man? What happened?"

"Tired. Didn't sleep," muttered Riku.

"What were you doing all night?" asked Sora, "Riku? Riku?"

He leaned his head and peered up into Riku's face. Riku had stopped walking and his eyes were shut and peaceful; his breathing was coming in at regular intervals.

"Is he asleep?" asked Kairi as she hurried to catch up to the two other boys.

"Uh yeah, I think so," said Sora still staring at Riku's tranquil expression, he began snapping his fingers in front of Riku's face, "Riku. Riku! Hey Riku!"

"Huh? Wha?" Riku blinked and yawned groggily.

"You fell asleep," Kairi informed him.

Riku blinked at her in disbelief, "What? Standing up? That's ridiculous…"

He shook his head and muttered "being silly" under his breath. Kairi and Sora shrugged before setting off after their older companion.

-

Riku, Sora, Selphie, Kairi, Tidus and Wakka were all eating lunch in the cafeteria. Riku was quietly chewing slowly. He was chewing slowly mainly because his mouth was tired and sore. Heck, even his teeth hurt.

"Riku, you're boyfriend is going to end up giving you an anxiety attack or at the very least an ulcer," chirped Tidus cheerfully continueing to munch away at his lunch. Riku grunted in response.

"How did you two even meet?" asked Sora, "C'mon you told me you'd tell me later... Please? Please? Pretty please?"

"Fine," said Riku irritably, "It was during my summer vacation… You remember I went to Mexico?"

Sora and the others nodded eagerly, awaiting the story they'd been promised…

"Well…" said Riku, sighing reminiscently, "It all began on the fourth day of the trip… I was eating breakfast by myself while my parents went to some boring couples' convention…"

-

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

Marluxia's shriek was at least double the normal pitch for any self-respecting man. Axel guffawed at the girly-ness of his shriek.

"You are so gay," said Axel teasingly pointing a finger at the brown-pink haired man standing in front of him.

"I am not!" cried Marluxia indignantly, "I have a girlfriend!" As if to demonstrate this he pulled Larxene closer to himself. Axel and Roxas exchanged glances before rolling their eyes skyward.

"Dude," began Axel, "you're girlfriend is Larxene. For God's sake she's tougher than you! That counts as gay."

"It does not! She's not actually a guy," protested Marluxia.

"Okay then," said Axel putting a hand on his hip, "you're a gay guy pretending to be straight by dating a girl who's probably lesbian."

"Ahem, you know, I'm standing right here," Larxene coughed into her fist.

The two battling males ignored her comment. This was war god damn it!

"Well," scoffed Marluxia, "at least I don't pretend to be a pimp."

"…What was that?" asked Axel, voice deadly quiet.

"You heard me," sneered Marluxia, "you're always pretending to be some sort of gay playboy. But look at you! I don't think I've even ever seen you with a boyfriend!"

Axel lost his composure and valiantly tried to make a good comeback. Finally he gave up and muttered a few profanities under his breath. He turned his gaze back on Marluxia, green eyes almost glowing dangerously.

Said pink haired man smirked.

"Alright then, if that's the way you wanna play," said Axel folding his arms smugly, "I'll bet you can't pick up a really feminine girl by the end of the day."

"You're on," said Marluxia, voice dripping with challenge, "and I'll bet you can't pick up a girl by the end of the day either."

"Y- What?!" Axel blinked at Marluxia in confusion, "shouldn't you be daring me to pick up a guy? Since you're accusing me of being a GAY pimp and all?"

"You're not man enough to suck it up and spend the day with a GIRL?" asked Marluxia, cocking an eyebrow. Axel's eyes narrowed.

"OF COURSE I'M MAN ENOUGH! You're on!"

"Good," said Marluxia, he pointed his finger in the direction of a table where a certain silver haired figure was eating 'her' breakfast', "pick up that girl right there."

"That girl?" Axel faltered and glanced at the long silver hair, he turned his attention back to Marluxia, "Sure, I'll go introduce myself right now."

Axel strolled casually over to the girl's table. She was eating an omelet, picking at it morosely with her fork. It was a rather melancholy scene what with her long bangs and everything. She even pushed her food around on her plate in a melancholy fashion.

Axel racked his brain for pick up lines that worked on GIRLS (hey he only ever learned the ones for guys).

"I must be a pirate," he said huskily, "cause I'm digging you're chest."

The girl turned around and sent Axel a cold glare, "Excuse me?"

Axel's green eyes met startling aqua, he continued unperturbed.

"So what's a sweet thing like you doing eating breakfast by yourself? Maybe I can join y-…" He stopped, halting mid-sentence. His eyes roved over the body of the "girl" in the chair. Her sneakers, pants, and… Rather flat chest.

Axel opened his mouth and closed it. And opened… and closed… and opened… and…

"As riveting as it is watching the movement of your jaw," said the girl- no GUY- sarcastically, "Would you mind repeating what you just said? Maybe you'd like to finish that sentence?" Aqua eyes shot electric bolts at Axel.

Finally Axel remembered how to utilize his jaw muscles he said quite bluntly, "You're a… dude?"

The boy opened his mouth and gaped at Axel, "I-… You…"

Axel recovered and said quickly, "Alright here's the thing I-…"

He stopped. Larxene was walking towards the table.

"Nevermind," he hissed quietly into the silver haired boy's ear, "just whatever you do pretend to be a girl!"

With that he slung his arm around the boy's shoulder protectively and led him away from their table.

"What? What?! WHAT?!" The boy's voice rose higher as he continued to squawk protests.

"Exactly, just like that," said Axel, "You got a name?"

"Riku."

"Riku," Axel tested out how it felt on his tongue, "alright Riku well, here's the thing… I'm gay." Riku looked up at Axel in surprise, "And my friends," he jerked his thumb in Marluxia's direction, "just dared me to pick up a girl. So yeah, we thought you were a chick. Sorry about that, but anyways you're going to help me right?"

He smiled winningly at Riku who just stared back at him dumbly.

"…Uh… S-sure…"

"Great! Thanks! Sorry if this is going to be awkward for you… If you're not gay…" Axel let it hang.

"No, no I am," said Riku quickly, Axel sighed in relief, "I've just… never been in a relationship before…"

"Really?" Axel took in Riku's attractive looks, "that's surprising, sorry but I think that means I'll probably be stealing your first kiss."

Riku said nothing.

The point of the bet was to not only pick up a girl, but get her to stick with you for the day and so it was that Axel ended up leading Riku around the resort, doing his darnedest to avoid his friends if ever they should venture near.

It all came down hill however when Riku and Axel were about to enter the bathroom and were interrupted by Larxene's loud call of:

"Hey Axel! Is that your new girlfriend?!"

Axel swore loudly before shoving Riku into the girl's bathroom.

"Hey why'd you push her?" asked Larxene, "I want to meet her…"

"Sorry, uh, she really had to go," said Axel hurriedly.

"She got a name?" asked Larxene tilting her head curiously.

"Uh yeah, it's Riku," said Axel.

"Cool," said Larxene, "so I take it the bet's going well for you?"

"Yup, she's actually pretty neat…"

In the meantime Riku was facing some minor problems.

When the door to the bathroom shut behind him he swore he could feel his fate being sealed. The women in the bathroom did not look up at first, and Riku used that split second to quickly walk in to one of the stalls and lock the door behind him.

As soon as that door was closed he entered his panic mode.

Now Riku's panic mode has five different phases:

Phase One: He tries to take deep breaths like his stress counselor told him to.

Phase Two: He looks for an escape route or some small ray of hope.

Phase Three: If none can be found his breathing speeds up.

Phase Four: He starts blaming other people for putting him in this situation.

Phase Five: He screams. Loudly.

And so it was that Riku found himself at the last step of one of his panic attacks.

Now it was a widely known fact that in extreme situations Riku has problems dealing with stress. In fact in some of the most major cases he's been known to hyperventilate. Unfortunately Axel did not know this.

From his position in the hallway Axel let out a breath as Larxene roamed off. His relief was short lived however as a shrill shriek pierced his ears.

Not thinking properly he rushed into the bathroom. Then he started thinking clearly. Most of the women didn't notice or care about the fact that a guy was in there considering Riku was currently shrieking his ears off.

Axel swore loudly and pushed his way through the throng of women. He kicked the stall door open and grabbed Riku by the wrist, rushing him out of there before any of the women could realize he wasn't a girl.

Once outside Riku started calming down and took deep soothing breaths, Axel rubbed his back and finally stopped dragging him once they were clear of the bathrooms.

"Hey you going to be okay?" asked Axel, continueing to rub Riku's back in rhythmic circles.

"I- I'll be fine," Riku's voice was cracked and hoarse; "it wasn't that bad."

"Anything I can do to help?" asked Axel.

"No, no," said Riku, "this kind of stuff always happens to me."

"What? You mean getting stuffed into girls' bathrooms?"

Riku glared. Axel's mouth decided to shut up.

"No dumb ass," growled Riku, "I mean the whole screaming panic attack thing."

"Oh… Really?" asked Axel cocking his head, he never would've guessed the cool, collected guy he'd met this morning was possible of freaking out.

"My friend Kairi says that I regularly drive myself to the point of heart failure," said Riku. Axel stared at him.

"I never would've guessed…"

"Yeah, that's what a lot of people say," Riku sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "then they see me getting stressed out and it all makes sense."

"I see…" Axel mulled over this new information for a while. Suddenly his face broke out into a grin. Riku eyed him warily.

"Axel? Wh-What is it?"

"I am going to have soooooo much fun with you," said Axel mischievously.

Riku gulped. This could not be good…

-

"And so ends my story…" Riku concluded, taking another sip of his water for dramatic effect.

"But wait," said Selphie, "what did Axel do to you after that?"

"Yeah," Kairi pouted, "it must have been seriously evil…"

"He tied me to a pole and charged girls to kiss me," said Riku not looking up from his food. Everyone froze and stared at him.

"How much money did he make?" asked Tidus shrewdly.

"Why?" Riku's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"No reason," Tidus's gaze returned to his food innocently but he and Wakka exchanged winks. They had a few ideas for their next few get rich quick schemes.

"And you ended up going out with him?" asked Sora, eyes wide.

"Well he did save my life," said Riku.

"How?!" everyone asked at once.

"When I was still tied to the pole a really old, really fat lady came up and was just about to suck my mouth off when he swooped in and dragged me away from her," riku shuddered briefly bit other than that his expression remained bored.

"So it was the start of a beautiful relationship?" asked Kairi, Selphie sighed dreamily in the background.

"Call it what you want," Riku shrugged uncaringly, "personally I wouldn't use the word beautiful but…"

"So what happened after he rescued you?" asked Sora, "When did his friends find out you weren't a girl?"

"The next day," Riku suddenly became very interested in his feet.

"The next day?!" asked Tidus, "Why? How?"

"His best friend Roxas came into his hotel room in the morning and saw us sleeping together."

"I see…" Everyone at the table avoided each other's gazes for a while.

-

After school Riku walked home alone, doing his best to avoid dark alleyways that might have rapists lurking in them.

When he finally reached Axel's house he stopped just outside the front door when he heard noises on the inside. He put his ear next to the door and listened carefully.

"Oh my GOD!!! MARLUXIA DON'T PUT THAT FLOWER THERE!"

"BUT THE PIG TRIED TO EAT IT!"

"I DON'T CARE! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THAT OSTRICH WENT?!"

"IT'S TAKING A SHOWER!"

"WHO LET THE OSTRICH INTO THE BATHROOM?!"

"Uh… Not me."

"AXEL YOU IDIOT I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"WHAT?! I SAID NOT ME!"

Riku sighed and opened the door to the house bracing himself for what was to come.

Author's Note: Don't ask about the ending. We will pick back up on that in the next chapter! Anyways, so today we witnessed the epic tale of how Axel and Riku met. This chapter wasn't too great but I still kind of like it just because of the way Riku and Axel met.

Please review people! Or else I will die!!!
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