DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did. There sure as hell would be more Mer/Der.

Cristina fell asleep quickly, leaving Meredith awake. She was worrying. How will I tell Derek? He will feel like he has to be happy. I could be ruining his freedom. I could be throwing responsibly in his lap, responsibility he doesn't want. How will I work when I am as big as a house? And with a small child? How am I going to make it? I want children. I want kids with Derek. I love children. Derek is going to kill me when the baby is screaming it's head off, and he has surgery. The late night feeding, the early mornings. No life ever again. All at once, my freedom is flying out the window, leaving me grounded. What am I thinking? Now I am being selfish. This child is a part of Derek and I, the love that we share. Shit! Now, the realization of work and responsibility was sinking in. The fact they her life was changing for the better or the worse. None the less, it was changing. She shoves Cristina.

Cristina: What? I unlike you, have to work tomorrow.

Meredith: The test could be wrong, right? It's probably wrong.

Cristina: No, it's accurate, believe me.

Meredith: But it could be wrong, right.

Cristina: Yeah, but that is highly unlikely.

Meredith: I had my shot. My Depo shot. This should not be happening.

Cristina: The shot doesn't always protect you. You still have a small chance getting pregnant.

Meredith: So I have defied the odds. I can't--Shit!

Cristina: You need to get a blood test tomorrow. Go see Addison.

Meredith: You want me to go to the hospital on my day off, to see Addison? No one will ever figure that out.

Cristina: Go to lunch with her, people are stupid. They won't figure it out. It's the only way to know for sure. (She rolls over.) Now go to bed!

Meredith: You're right. I am probably not pregnant, so I am just going to bed, and not worry about it.

Cristina: I never said-- Okay, just go to bed.

Meredith: Goodnight.

Cristina: What's left of it.

----------------

Derek was going to stay at the hospital. Part of him wanted to stay at the hospital. Meredith had been overly moody. Everything he said, she bit his head off. He was hoping she was just tired, but a small voice in the back of his head told him she was regretting marrying him. What if she was? He didn't regret it. She is the love of his life. She was just tired, he told himself once again. He was getting ready to find and on-call room, praying that Dr. Snores-a-lot wasn't in it when he was paged. He rushed into his patient's room. The seventy-five year old man was gone. There was no bringing him back. He had coded. Derek felt bad, but he was used to losing patients. This particular patient was at peace with dying, and had talked to Derek about it. He wanted to join his wife, he told Derek. Derek felt the same way, he didn't think he could live without Meredith. Derek glanced at his watch. He may as well go home, sleep in his own bed, with his wife.

Derek pulled into the driveway, not seeing Cristina's motorcycle parked to the side. He was happy to be home. Earlier he was avoiding Meredith, but now that he was here, he was happy to be. He threw his keys down on the counter and makes his way to their bathroom, brushing his teeth and putting on a clean shirt and boxers. The room was dark, he thought he saw Meredith's small figure on the bed. He went to the side and leaned down to kiss her.

Cristina: If you kiss me, I will kill you! (She quietly whispered.)

Derek: Yang! What are you doing here?

Cristina: Comforting my person. She just fell asleep.

Derek: She's still sick?

Cristina: In a matter of speaking.

Derek: What's that supposed to mean?

Cristina: Nothing. You are brainless. I'm going to go upstairs. Goodnight. (She pushes Meredith's arm off of her, and heads upstairs. Derek climbs in bed, in her spot, watching Meredith as she sleeps.)

-----------------------

Meredith: (Looking over at Derek.) When did you get home?

Derek: About one. I almost kissed Cristina.

Meredith: And you're still alive to tell the tale?

Derek: I said almost. So now, I am going to kiss you. (He leans over.)

Meredith: Oh, God. (She puts her hand over her mouth and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out.) You didn't shower when you came home?

Derek: No, why? Are you okay?

Meredith: I'm fine. The vomiting has slowed down. I think I am getting better. When do you have to go to the hospital?

Derek: Noon.

Meredith: I'm going to lay down for a while longer.

Derek: Okay. You need your rest. I'll make some coffee. And clean the kitchen, we all know how Yang leaves it.

Meredith: No coffee.

Derek: No coffee? You aren't human without coffee. What's going on?

Meredith: Nothing. It's bad for you.

Derek: Actually, recent studies show caffeine is actually good for you.

Meredith: Damn-it Derek! No coffee. (She snaps.)

Derek: (In shock.) Okay then. I'm just going to go... (He walks out gingerly, with his head down.)

Meredith: (Picks up her cellphone.) Addison?

Addison: Meredith? What's going on?

Meredith: I need to come see you today.

Addison: Sure. We could meet for lunch.

Meredith: No, professionally. As a patient.

Addison: Is everything okay?

Meredith: Yes--no. I'm not sure.

Addison: Okay, well how about in an hour?

Meredith: Could you do it after noon? I don't want Derek to know, or anyone for that matter.

Addison: Okay, how about two?

Meredith: Sounds good. I gotta go... (She snaps her phone shut. Derek walks in.)

Derek: I made you french toast.

Meredith: Oh, thanks! (It looked good, but her stomach wanted to turn.) I'm sorry if I've been snapping at you.

Derek: It's okay. Are you sure that everything is fine? You don't regret it, do you?

Meredith: Regret what?

Derek: (Drops his eyes down to the floor.) Marrying me.

Meredith: WHAT? No! No, Derek. Marrying you is the best thing I have ever done.

Derek: Then what is wrong?

Meredith: Derek- just quit worrying okay. Everything will be great.

Derek: Will be? (She looks at him, he is defeated.) Okay. I love you. (He kisses her.)

---------------------

Meredith parked in a different lot, away from her friends. Sneaking up to Addison's floor was going to be a challenge. The hospital was a gossip mill. Everyone knew her. She worked there. And now she was the intern who married an attending. Not to mention, she is Ellis Grey's daughter, and close to the Chief of Surgery. Yes, she was going to have to do some damn good sneaking. She left out a giant sigh of relief when she reached Addison's office.

Addison: Hello.

Meredith: (Closes the door.) Thanks for seeing me.

Addison: No problem. So is everything okay?

Meredith: (Meredith inhales a huge breath.) I think...well...I may be...I took a test, and I failed.

Addison: What kind of test---Oh...

Meredith: I took a pregnancy test. It came back positive. I don't know how this could have happened.

Addison: Pregnancy tests are usually pretty accurate. We can do a blood test, right now, if you want.

Meredith: I don't want anyone to know, not yet.

Addison: We'll do it in here. (Addison goes and gets the supplies to take the blood. She takes it and sends it to the lab.)

Meredith: I can't believe this. Derek, he doesn't want kids, and I'm an intern. We're not ready. Shit! (She covers her face with her hands.)

Addison: How are you feeling? Do you have any signs of pregnancy? Have you missed a period? Any breast tenderness?

Meredith: My periods can be irregular, so that wasn't a big deal. I have been having breast tenderness, and I have been vomiting. Non-stop actually. I thought it was the flu.

Addison: Were you using any form of birth control?

Meredith: I get the Depo-Provera shot.

Addison: When was your last one?

Meredith: Let me see. (She grabs her organizer. She looks, and immediately turns pale.) Oh my God! (She bursts into tears. Addison comes over and embraces her.) This is my fault. Derek will never forgive me. I must have---court, and the wedding, and the stress. I missed it. I missed my shot.

Addison: Meredith, it will be okay.

Meredith: You don't understand, I may have ruined Derek's life! (She weeps.)

Addison: Derek will make a wonderful father, and he will love every minute of it. If there is one thing I know, Derek loves you more than anything. Everything will be fine.

Meredith: We have had no birth control. How could I be so stupid? We have sex. A lot of sex. God. (There is a knock on the door, they give Addison the results.) I am, aren't I?

Addison: (She smiles.) Yes, you are. Congratulations!

Meredith: (Smiles.) Thank you.

Addison: Are you okay?

Meredith: I am, I think. I think I'm okay. I have always wanted a child with Derek. I lost Bella. (He face drops, panic takes over.) What if I lose this baby? I can't do it again. I can't look at Derek's face like I did John's. I just can't do it again. You can't tell him, not anyone. Not yet. I need some time.

Addison: Just because you lost your first child, doesn't mean you will lose this one. You are very healthy. But you are slightly underweight.

Meredith: I can't keep anything down.

Addison: I will prescribe you some pre-natal vitamins, and Emetrol for the vomiting. You do realize that you are going to have to tell Derek eventually.

Meredith: Eventually...

Addison: He will figure it out. As your doctor, I will not say anything to him. But as your friend, I wish I could. The stress isn't good. You will be stressed if you don't tell him.

Meredith: I will tell him. Just not yet.

Addison: Okay. Well, you need to come back in. We'll do an ultrasound.

Meredith: Okay.

Addison: I have surgery in an hour. (She sits up.) So, I have to go. Congratulations, again! (She hugs her.)

Meredith: Thanks. (She walks out of the office, tears in her eyes. She is just praying that she can keep it all together. Praying her baby will be okay. Praying that Derek will get to hold his healthy child, unlike John. She passes Mark, not even noticing. He walks up to Addison.)

Mark: What's wrong with Firecracker? (Addison gives him a look and shakes her head.) You can't say?

Addison: Doctor-Patient confidentiality.

Mark: Well, is she okay?

Addison: Yeah. Please, don't tell Derek you saw her.

Mark: What's wrong?

Addison: Just don't tell him. Promise me.

Mark: I promise.

-----------------------

Meredith laid down in her bed. After taking the nausea medication, she was feeling much better. She was actually able to eat, and keep it down. She made sure to hide the medication where Derek would never find it. She would tell him, just not yet. She needed to think, to sort things out. She was exhausted. She closed her eyes, and placed her hand on her stomach, and smiled. She was already in love with their baby.