DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GREY'S ANATOMY, I wish I did.

Derek and Meredith just kept staring at the screen. The could not believe that in seven months, they would be holding their baby. Derek couldn't get the smile off of his face. After about ten minutes, Addison came back in.

Derek: This is amazing.

Addison: I am so happy for you two.

Meredith: Oh my God.

Derek: (With a look of concern on his face.) What?

Meredith: 8 weeks, 2 days. That's two weeks before the wedding. That's the night.

Derek: What night?

Meredith: The hot tub.

Derek: I knew I liked the hot tub.

Addison: Are you saying you conceived your child in my hot tub?

Derek: Yep.

Addison: You could have left that information to yourself.

Meredith: Sorry.

Addison: Just don't tell Mark. I don't need him to get any ideas. (She chuckled.) So Meredith, I was wondering if we could talk about your first pregnancy.

Meredith: (She started to look worried.) Um, yeah. I guess.

Derek: Are you okay?

Meredith: Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.

Addison: You're sure? (Derek's pager goes off.)

Derek: Crap.

Meredith: Go.

Derek: No, I need to stay with you.

Meredith: Someone could be dying. I will be okay. I'll see you at home.

Derek: If you're sure... (She nods, he kisses her and leaves.)

Addison: Do you still want to talk?

Meredith: Sure.

Addison: Was your first pregnancy planned?

Meredith: No.

Addison: How far along were you when you found out?

Meredith: When I missed my first period, I took a test. It was positive.

Addison: Did you have regular check-ups?

Meredith: Of course.

Addison: Did you take prenatal vitamins?

Meredith: Yeah.

Addison: Were there any problems with the pregnancy?

Meredith: Not really. I was healthy. We were both healthy. I didn't have Braxton Hicks, no spotting, no false labor. I was at the doctor for my check-up at 38 weeks, and there was no heartbeat. (She starts to cry Addison grabs her hand.) They induced my labor, and I gave birth to a baby girl. She was 19 1/4 inches and 7 pounds 3 ounces. She was perfect. She was beautiful. She was---she was dead. (She is now bawling.) Oh God, Addison. What if it happens again? I can't do it again. I can't live through it a second time. I will die. I can't lose Derek's baby. Having a miscarriage is bad, but having a beautiful, full-term baby die, I can't---

Addison: We will monitor you very closely. I will do everything I can, Meredith. The chances of it happening again are not that great. We will take care of you. We will check you weekly, if that's what you want. We will not take any chances. But I do know one thing, you have got to relax. Stress has to be kept to a minimum.

Meredith: Okay. Thank you, Addison. (Addison embraces her. Their pagers go off.) This isn't good.

Addison: No, It's not.

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There was a five car pile-up on the freeway. All of the car crash victims were brought to Seattle Grace. Meredith was one of the first interns to show up. George, Izzie and Alex had the day off. Cristina was already there, and had been pulled into surgery with Burke. Meredith quickly put her scrubs on and found Miranda Bailey.

Bailey: That was fast. Were you here? (Meredith ignored her.) Well, it's your lucky day, since you were here first, go to OR two and scrub in with Shepherd. When that's over, come back to the pit.

Meredith: Okay.

Bailey: Not that I care, but are you okay?

Meredith: Yeah, why?

Bailey: Nothing, just go.

Meredith quickly ran to the scrub room. She turned on the water and did the usual ritual of scrubbing her arms and hands. She looked in at Derek who was concentrating heavily. This is just what she needed after the conversation she had with Addison. She put on a pair of gloves at walked in to operating room. She quietly stood off to the side. She watched Derek as he worked. He was meticulous, he was talented. She hoped that someday she could be as good as him. She knew that Neuro is what she wanted to do. Her mind started to drift off to her conversation with Addison. She saw John in the delivery room with her, crying. That was by far the worst day of her life. She didn't even realize Derek was talking to her.

Derek: Dr. Shepherd? (He looked up, seeing tears running down her cheeks. His face looked concerned. She hadn't even realized she was crying. She looked back at him, letting him know that she was okay.)

Meredith: Yes?

Derek: How would you like to get a closer look?

Meredith: That would be great. (She steps up.)

Derek: (Whispers almost inaudibly.) Are you okay?

Meredith: I'm okay. I think. I think I'm okay.

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Meredith found her way into an on-call room after several back to back surgeries. She didn't have the energy to go home. She didn't have the energy to do anything. She laid down in the bed and closed her eyes, quickly drifting off to sleep. Derek finished his last surgery. Meredith didn't say anything about going home, so he decided to check out the usual spots. She was in the third room he checked. She looked peaceful. He slipped off his shoes, and laid down next to her. Her arms immediately wrapped around him.

Derek: What if I was Alex?

Meredith: Alex would not be stupid enough to climb into bed with me.

Derek: That may be. (Meredith falls back asleep, and Derek watches her.) Mer. Mer?

Meredith: (She moans.) What?

Derek: Did you eat?

Meredith: What?

Derek: When was the last time you ate?

Meredith: This morning.

Derek: Are you kidding me? Damn-it Mer. You have got to take better care of yourself. And our child.

Meredith: When was I supposed to eat Derek? I have been in surgery since this afternoon. Have you eaten?

Derek: Well, no. But that;s different. You should have gotten something before you came in here.

Meredith: I am too damn tired. (Derek gets out of bed.) Where are you going?

Derek: To get you something to eat.

Meredith: Derek...

Derek: No. I'll be back.

Meredith: I'll go with you.

Derek: You need to rest.

Meredith: I am fine Derek. You are being ridiculous. I know our baby needs nutrition, but I will go. Okay? You were the one in surgery all day. I was just observing. (She gets up.)

Derek: Lay your ass back down.

Meredith: Derek- (He glares at her.) Fine.

Derek goes to the bistro down the block from hospital. The cafeteria had been closed for several hours. Meredith was snoring loudly when he came back in. She didn't even wake up at the sound of the door. He didn't want to wake her, but she had to eat.

Derek: Mer.

Meredith: Hmm?

Derek: I brought you food. Get up. (Derek handed her a container containing chicken, mixed vegetables, and potatoes. He had the same thing.)

Meredith: It's good. Thank you. (They both lean up against the wall on the bottom bunk.)

Derek: You need to eat well, Mer. That's our baby in there. (He rubs her stomach.) You feel--

Meredith: I'm bloated.

Derek: They say you start showing sooner with the second pregnancy. I can't wait.

Meredith: I can.

Derek: Are you okay? I mean, after today?

Meredith: Yeah. I won't lie. It was really hard. I'm scared.

Derek: Everything will be okay.

Meredith: (She puts her fork down.) Derek, you don't understand. I can not do this again. I will not be able to go on if I lose this baby. Looking at John was bad--but you--looking at you--. If I have to look at your face. I can't. It will kill me. (She hands him the food.) I can't eat anymore.

Derek: Mer-

Meredith: I ate. Look, I did. (He throws their food containers away, and lays down next to her.)

Derek: Are you okay?

Meredith: No. Just hold me, okay. (He wraps his arms around her and he buries his head in her neck. One silent tear runs down his face. He can only imagine how hard it is for her.)

Derek: I love you. (He whispered as she slept.)

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Okay, so Mer is really worried, for good reason. Derek understands, which is good. They will start telling people about the baby very soon!