Disclaimer: you all know the drill, people, I own nothing bar the plot, and a few oc's.
Warrior Mage -
Chapter 13
Cleaning out the Closet
"What does that mean?"
"It means that until Harry sorts out his problems wherever he is, there is not a thing that anyone can do about…well…anything to do with Voldemort."
Harry sat cross-legged on the floor, listening as Sirius spoke. They talked about anything and everything, just getting to know each other properly as they hadn't had a chance to do before Sirius' death. Neither wanted to broach that sensitive issue, carefully skirting it and talking around it. Finally though, Sirius was the one to bring it up.
"Come with me." He said quietly, holding out his hand. Harry took it cautiously, following Sirius as he led him to a small bubbling brook.
"What's this about?" He asked curiously.
"You need to get past my death, Harry. You need to get past me. The guilt you feel is not only pointless, it is counter-productive. Think of it this way: the guilt you carry for my death is like a dam - it stops you reaching your full potential. Imagine that the brook is your power reserves - you see that boulder there? That's like the guilt you carry. It stops your power flowing as it should."
"So I've not actually reached my full power yet?" Harry asked in astonishment.
"Yes and no." Sirius replied, "You may have tapped into your full power, maybe even have used it, but you haven't been able to use it effectively, as you should be able to. Just now, you have to fight with your magic - bend it to your will using force. If you were using your magic effectively, that wouldn't happen - your magic would come naturally, with little conscious effort on your part."
"Right." Harry muttered, feeling somewhat like a scolded child.
"Look at it this way - if you manage to lose the blockage, using Earth magic won't cause nearly as much damage as it does at the moment."
"This is my only hope of being able to defeat Him, isn't it?" Harry asked suddenly.
"Truthfully? With the demon working with Voldemort, the only other option is to take the power of every other Warrior into yourself and go over the blockage."
"Hmm. Well, I'm not one to do things the easy way, so bulldozing the blockage it is."
"You're saying that stripping the Warriors of their power would be the easy way?"
"Comparitively speaking, yes." Harry sighed.
"Bugger."
"Quite." Harry agreed softly.
"So, how do we 'bulldoze the blockage'?"
"I have no idea. I was kinda hoping you'd have some idea about that."
"Hmm. Maybe." Sirius said softly, looking thoughtful. "Muggles have people to deal with things like this, don't they?"
"Grief counselors. Yeah. Dudley had to go to one after his computer blew up." Harry said, snickering quietly at the memory.
"Great - so all we need is...one of them. What are they called again?"
"I don't need a grief counselor, Sirius!" Harry objected.
"Sure you do - otherwise you wouldn't be here."
"Thank you, Dr. Black."
"Ooh, I like that!" Sirius grinned.
"You're a lunatic." Harry said, shaking his head.
"You love me for it. Now, this grief-person..."
"Counselor. Grief counselor. And even if I did need one - which I don't - it seems to have escaped your notice that we're in another freakin' dimension! Where are you planning to find a grief counselor?"
"Ah. You have a valid point there."
"Of course I do."
"Oh well. I'll be your grief counsellor then."
"Oh no. No chance. There is no way."
"Oh come on, Harry. It's worth a try, isn't it?"
"Not really, no."
"Think of all those people who need you to get rid of Voldemort. All the people who are relying on you." Sirius said softly.
"That was a low blow." Harry complained, hurt flashing across his face.
"Sorry, but it's true."
"Fine. Ok? I'll do it. Are you happy now?"
"No - I'll be happy when you get past this - get past my death. When you're back where you belong. With your fiancee."
"Ex-fiancee. And are you that desperate to get rid of me?"
"No, Harry! Never. You are like a son to me, it's just...I hate to see you stuck here, not being able to be normal, or to talk to your friends..."
"I'm never going to be normal, Sirius - I'm a Warrior Mage. And I enjoy being here - I never really got to know you before..."
"Before I died." Sirius finished
"Yeah."
"But is that the only reason you want to stay here? Are you sure it's not because there's no Voldemort in this...dimension, reality, or whatever you want to call it?"
"Perhaps." Harry murmured, looking away. His voice was so quiet that Sirius had to strain to hear his words.
"I'm just tired of it all. Everyone is relying on me, but who can I rely on?"
"Harry, your friends will be there for you when you need them - you know that. And Tonks as well - she still loves you."
"I know she does - but she can't deal with who I am - with what I have to do."
"No one ever said that girls were easy, Harry. You have to give her time to get used to your responsibilities - you're not the only one who is new to your powers, you know."
"I guess."
"Nice as this is, it's not going to help you get past your problem with my death. Why do you blame yourself for circumstances that were beyond your control?"
"Because if it wasn't for my stupidity, you never would have been put in that position. If I had just learned Occlumency like I was supposed to, Voldemort may never have made me think that he had you."
"And if I hadn't been so stupid, I would have realised that every time I complained about being locked up, every time I went into a mood, or wanted to do something reckless, I was giving you the impression that I was so desperate to be free that I would risk Voldemort capturing me to do so."
"You had every right to complain - after Azkaban…" Harry said, unable to keep the defensive tone out of his voice.
"I know that, Harry, but Grimmauld place - bad as it was - was never anywhere near as bad as Azkaban. If it wasn't for you, I never would have stayed there - I would have been out there, regardless of the consequences. Then again, if it wasn't for you, I'd have either died or gone mad in Azkaban."
"What's the point of this?" Harry asked, the anguish clear in his voice. "Why are you doing this? What's it going to achieve?"
"Harry, there are things that need to be said. Things that need to be known before either of us will be able to get some closure. We need to talk about this. And it isn't going to be nice - but it is necessary."
"I don't want this to be real. I don't want you to be dead. I want to wake up from this nightmare and have my family alive - to have parents and my god father. Why is that so much to ask?"
"Because that wasn't what fate had in store for you. Who knows what would have happened if your parents had lived - maybe Voldemort would have wiped out all of his opposition by now. Maybe someone else - Neville perhaps - would be carrying this burden instead of you. Would you wish your life on anyone else? I know it's not fair Harry, believe me, I do. But as much as you want your parents and me back in your life, it's just not possible."
"I know that, I just…it just hurts…everyone that I love seems to leave me. Why is that? Is that part of fate's grand design?"
"No - just part of Voldemort's. Harry, listen to me. You are not to blame for your parents' deaths, Cedrics, my own, or anyone else's for that matter. You are only one person - Voldemort is a powerful force of evil on his own, let alone when he has paired up with a high level of demon."
"I just feel so…powerless to stop everything. I watched you fall through that veil because I had fallen into Voldemort's trap. I could do nothing to stop it. I would have followed you if Remus hadn't held me back."
"Exactly Harry - that is exactly why it isn't your fault that I died. Because if there had have been something you could have done to help me, you would have done it. But there wasn't. Nothing could have saved me. I died because I was arrogant, because I believed myself to be stronger, better, than Bellatrix. Because I was too cocky when I should have been more alert, more aware of what was happening. Learn from my mistakes, Harry, and never allow yourself to relax on a battlefield, no matter how the odds seem to favour you, or how lousy the opposition seems. There is always more to people than meets the eye - you have to be on your guard for tricks or traps or any other surprises they may have in store for you - if I had learnt that lesson, I would probably be alive, rather than sitting here, discussing my death with you."
"If I had learned Occlumency, you never would have been put in that position."
"If Dumbledore had told you why you needed to, maybe you would have tried harder. If Snape hadn't goaded you so much, maybe you would've gotten it easier and quicker."
"I should have used the mirror."
"I should have explained about that, rather than acting like a spoilt child. I should have talked to you about it, told you what it was, why I was giving it to you. I shouldn't have made it seem like it was another reckless trinket that was designed to let me live through you - even if it was, just a little bit."
"I…I…I should have trained harder, been better. Then I might have been able to help the Order more. Help my friends more."
"NO, Harry! Never think that! You did unbelievably well for a fifteen-year-old. Especially when you take into consideration the awful Defence teachers that you've had over the years. Besides, you helped the Order and your friends enormously - if you hadn't started the DA, your friends may be dead by now. Besides, you can't do everything alone - surely you've learned that by now?"
"I'm beginning to, I think." Harry murmured softly.
"Good boy - well, man, I guess. How old are you now anyway?"
"Old enough to be considered a man." Harry laughed, sounding more like a Warrior Mage and less like a child with every moment that passed.
Tonks, Lee, Remus, Ron, Hermione, Dani and Rhia stayed in Harry's chambers for the rest of that day - none of them really felt like acting as if everything was normal. Time seemed to crawl, lights seemed harsh and unbearably bright, and the smallest noise was enough to make them all jump and tense. Everything seemed different - more alien - without Harry's presence. Each person began to re-evaluate just how much Harry - and, by extension, Simba - meant to them.
Harry sat alone by the brook, staring blindly at the water which flowed through it. Sirius had gone...somewhere, leaving Harry to ponder their conversation. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to dispel the guilt he felt over both Cedric's and Sirius' death, but he was beginning to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing he could do about either, now, and that the grief he carried may even prevent him helping others. The only problem was that letting go of the guilt was nowhere near as easy as it might have been - he had borne the burden of his guilt and regret for so long that it had almost become second nature to him. Learning to let go was going to be one of the most difficult things he'd ever have to do, he realised. But he would get there, eventually, if only so that he could defeat Voldemort and help bring peace to both of his worlds.
Three days later, and Harry still hadn't been able to let go of the guilt he carried. Both he and Sirius were at their wit's end, having gone around in circles time and time again. It was a mutual decision that something needed to change, and fast. It was a nearly mutual decision that someone else should be drafted in to help, and it was Sirius who insisted it be Tonks. Very reluctantly, Harry had agreed that she had proven to be the person most capable of pulling him out of a guilt trip. Now, the only question was how to get her into the same...dimension as they were.
In three days, very little had seemed to change within Hogwarts. The majority of the castle's occupants went about their business as they always did, scarcely noticing the absence of Harry Potter. No more than usual, anyway. Some, however, were more than aware of the fact that he hadn't been seen for days. Most of this second group consisted of people who knew Harry well, though a few were his pupils, who had become aware of the fact that their teacher, while he had been absent a few times before, had never seemed to vanish for so long.
Tonks sat listlessly in Harry's room, alone for the moment. She had spent long hours contemplating Rhia's words. Her fiance - ex-fiance - was neither alive nor dead. He had the power to create a dimension without a second thought, and had sent himself there to top it all. And despite all of this incredible power, he still couldn't quite best the Dark Lord and his evils. It made her shudder to think that one person - if Voldemort could be called such - had the disposal of so much power at his finger-tips. Then again, perhaps…Tonks' eyes widened as she contemplated the enormity of Voldemort's deeds. One did not simply summon evil demons on a whim, she knew, for evil had it's own plans, and were not known for their fealty to anyone or anything apart from themselves - demons were power-hungry, greedy - they would not willingly share anything, lest they stood to gain from it. Shaking her head free of such horrible thoughts, she lay down on the bed, feeling a little woozy. Her eyes closed as a wave of nausea crashed over her, making her cry out. The room was spinning, and she felt very much as if she was being hurled through time and space. Little did she know - at that point - that she was.
The first thing Tonks noticed upon waking was that everything seemed so peaceful, so quiet. The she sat bolt upright as she realised that she was no longer in Hogwarts.
"Hey, calm down. It's ok." A familiar voice said. She spun around to see -
"HARRY! Oh my god, you're ok!" She screamed, hugging him tightly. Before Harry had a chance to react, she pulled away again, and slapped him. Hard.
"If you ever scare me like that again, Merlin help me, Voldemort will be the LEAST of your problems!" Harry, stunned speechless, looked over to see Sirius in silent hysterics.
"By the sounds of things, you'll need Merlin's help to harm Harry - especially after his block has gone."
"Block?" Tonks asked, eyeing Sirius warily, "And…how…?"
"Harry's magic is blocked because of the trauma of my death. We - you and me, that is - are going to try and fix it. And as for me being here, you'd be better asking…well…Harry, I guess."
"Obviously." Tonks sighed in exasperation. Why could things never be simple where Harry was involved? "So, Harry, you created an entire dimension while your power was blocked?"
"I…what?" The look of utter bewilderment on Harry's face told Tonks that he had absolutely no idea that he had actually created this little hideaway.
"This dimension. This little world didn't exist before a few days ago - Rhiannon reliably informed us that you created a realm between the living and the dead. Which probably explains Sirius' presence." She explained, watching both of them. Sirius whistled, looking at Harry with increased respect.
"Well, old Voldie is gonna be in for shock when your powers are unblocked, isn't he?" He said, looking fairly heartened at the prospect.
"Yeah, well let's not forget that Voldemort isn't exactly weak, plus, with this demonic influence, well…I think it's pretty safe to assume that I will need all of my powers at their best no matter how powerful I'm supposed to be."
"You knew about the demon, then?" Tonks said, recalling again what Rhiannon had told them.
"Yeah, I knew." Harry answered wearily. "And before you ask, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to cause any more panic than there is already."
"And you didn't think that we might be able to help you? Sure, we aren't all mega-powerful Warrior Mages, but we are capable of brainstorming, you know." Harry looked slightly abashed, but spoke up in his own defence.
"I wanted to protect you all, I guess."
"You can't do everything on your own, Harry, no matter how powerful you are."
"I know that." Harry said softly.
"Then you have to trust us. Tell us things, let us help you." Harry sighed, but made no vocal response. Tonks knew that he still had mixed feelings about involving his friends in what he saw as his own personal battle with Voldemort, but vowed to herself that she would work on that.
"So, how exactly are we supposed to help you, Harry?" Tonks asked curiously, as the three of them sat by the lake.
"Now that," Sirius said, "Is a good question. And we'll let you know the answer...just as soon as we know it ourselves."
"Well that's helpful, isn't it?"
"We were hoping that you might have some ideas." Harry said, looking more than a little uncomfortable.
"Yeah, because you were the only one who could really pull him out of his 'episodes'." Sirius added, apparently oblivious to Harry's look of acute embarrassment.
"Yeah, but I don't know how I did it, do I? I just…did it." Tonks protested.
"Then just do it again."
"If it's that easy, then you do it!"
"I've already told you -"
"Tonks, Sirius, enough already!" Harry said, rubbing his temples. "I wish I could just…banish headaches." He muttered.
"Maybe you can." Tonks shrugged. "In this realm, at least."
"Oh yeah, right. I'll just say something like: "I henceforth banish headaches from my dimension" and…" Harry stopped suddenly, his jaw going slack with shock.
"What's wrong?"
"It's gone!"
"What's gone?"
"My headache…I said that, and…and it just…vanished."
"Well you did create this whole dimension - I suppose anything's possible." Tonks reasoned.
"I guess…"
"If you can do that, why can't you just banish this block of yours?" Harry was beginning to appreciate why having Tonks here wasn't such a bad idea - he loved Sirius dearly, but the man did have a habit of saying some pretty stupid things.
"If it were that easy, Siri, do you think I'd still have it?"
"But…"
"Harry's right. The block isn't something physical, tied to his needs and desires - it's an emotion thing. It isn't physical so Harry can't just banish it like he did with the headache." Tonks declared insightfully, earning looks of astonishment from both Harry and Sirius.
"What? I do know some psychology, you know. Plus, I've been doing some reading…"
"You've been spending entirely too much time with Hermione." Harry teased good-naturedly, though Tonks merely rolled her eyes.
"Well, I had to do something while you were off saving the world."
"Ok," Sirius cut in, sensing that if the conversation continued in that direction, they would never get rid of Harry's block. "So this power block is tied into Harry's emotions - so it feeds off negativity, presumably?"
"It would make sense."
"Then we just have to keep him positive then."
"Well, that would stop the block growing, but it wouldn't dissolve it - it may help, but on its own, it isn't enough. I think that in order to get rid of it totally, we need to directly address the main issues that caused it. Resolve them, and I think the block will be gone."
"I am right here, you know. No need to talk about me as if I'm not." Harry said.
"But we tried that already." Sirius whined, totally ignoring Harry's comment.
"Maybe you didn't cover everything."
"What do you mean? Harry's guilt over my death - isn't that what caused this?"
"Undoubtedly. But I'm saying that it may not be the only issue that did."
"Ok, now I'm lost."
"What Tonks is saying is that there is more to the block than just guilt." Harry said, his face devoid of any emotion.
"But…"
"I'm going to bed. It's been a long day. Good night." He said, leaving before Sirius could question him further.
Tonks awoke the next morning to see Harry staring out over a lake which looked almost identical to the one at Hogwarts. Despite being immersed in his thoughts, he turned before she reached him, his face blank of emotion.
"I'm never going to be able to sneak up on you, am I?"
"Unlikely, no."
"How long have you been awake?"
"A while." Harry said, turning back to the lake. Tonks saw the water churning slightly and wondered if the lake somehow represented Harry.
"How long is that in hours?" She said jokingly. Even with him turned away, she could see his lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.
"About three, maybe four." He replied.
"Harry, that's just ridiculous. You need your sleep."
"Tonks, you make it sound as if I haven't slept in about a week."
"Stop dodging, Harry. After taking on 750 Deatheaters just over a week ago - single-handedly, I might add - you need to rest and recuperate. Plus, fighting a demon-infested Voldie."
"I'm fully recuperated already. Look, not a scratch on me."
"So you banished yourself to another realm for what reason?" At this, Harry looked down to his hands, frowning slightly. He looked as if he was fighting an inner battle over whether or not to answer.
"I just…let's just say that Lee told me a couple of home truths that I wasn't quite ready to hear."
"Ah. That explains it then."
"Explains what?"
"Why she looked guilty when you disappeared. And why she was so desperate to get you back. What did she say?"
"Well, I had a plan…"
"Do I want to know?"
"About the plan? No, you really don't. Suffice to say that it was a little…foolhardy. Lee pointed out that it was…dangerous, and when I said that I wouldn't die, she told me that Sirius probably thought that too, and I…well…took it rather badly."
"You think?" Tonks said dryly, making a point of looking around her at his creation.
"So now I'm trapped in a world of my own creation, with one deceased ex-convict and my ex-fiancée, with no way of leaving until I sort out my own twisted problems."
"Yeah, about that Harry…" Tonks began uncomfortably.
"Tonks, don't..."
"No, Harry, I need to explain."
"Ok."
"I hate the thought that I might lose you. Every day when you disappear somewhere, I think that you might not be coming back...then you put yourself directly in harm's way. I didn't think I could handle knowing that you were that close to danger - putting yourself directly in danger - while I was sitting at Hogwarts twiddling my thumbs."
"I had to." Harry replied.
"I know that now, I do. Aunt Narcissa had a few words with me, and I do understand. I can't say I like it anymore than I did before, but...well...I accepted it."
"Tonks..."
"I don't expect instant forgiveness, Harry. I know how much I hurt you. But can we at least start talking to each other again? Start over?"
"I think that's a good idea. We both need to be a little more understanding, I guess. But Tonks, I don't intend to take any more foolish risks - at least, not if there is any other option. And I will give you prior warning so you can think of alternatives, ok?"
"Deal."
By the time Sirius awoke, Harry and Tonks were chatting amiably. Both knew that they were a long way from being where they were, but it was definitely a start.
"Well just look at you two - is the wedding back on then?" Sirius grinned. Suddenly, he toppled over, as if he had been tripped. Yet no one had been near enough to do so. Both he and Tonks to look at Harry, who immediately adopted a look of innocence.
"What?" He asked.
"You tripped me!" Sirius accused.
"But how could I? I was too far away. And did you see me wave my wand at any point?"
"Harry, we know that you're more than capable of wandless magic." Tonks reminded him.
"Hmm...fairly good point. But still, I didn't even say a word."
"Harry, darling, you forget that I know you well - you and your abilities. I know very well that you don't need to say an incantation." Tonks reminded him, making him turn beetroot. Sirius raised an eyebrow, wondering what embarrassed Harry so much.
"I didn't hear you complaining at the time, love." Harry returned slyly, after Tonks had thought she had stumped him.
"Complaining? I remember complaining rather vocally - when you were about to stop, that is."
"Oh yes, then you complained - you're insatiable!"
"Eww! Enough! I do not need to know the details of your sex lives, thank you. Not when it seems like yesterday that you were in nappies." Sirius said, looking faintly green.
"Sex lives?" Harry asked, smirking in a most disturbing manner.
"You weren't talking about sex, were you?" Sirius said, knowing that they had just played him expertly.
"No, Siri, we weren't." Tonks answered, winking at Harry.
"Then...what...?"
"Food."
"Ohhh. Oops."
"Yeah, oops." Harry said.
"Although, there was that time when..." Tonks began.
"Tonks!" Both Harry and Sirius interrupted. Harry was, once again, scarlet, while Sirius was a chalky white-green shade that did not look healthy.
"Ladies and gentlemen, round one goes to Miss Nymphadora Tonks." Sirius declared, beginning to recover.
"But of course." Tonks teased.
"I remember several occasions when I stumped you too." Harry replied.
"Yeah, before all of this was such a problem between us." Tonks said a little sadly.
"I know." Harry sighed. "But it's a problem that we need to overcome."
"Believe me, I know that. But how?"
"I don't know. What I do know is that we should probably have a long talk."
"I agree." Sirius piped up.
"Alone." Harry added, looking pointedly at his Godfather.
"Oh, sure, kick out the dead guy why don't you?" Sirius huffed jokingly, before leaving them alone.
Tonks was discovered as being missing just a few hours after she had been pulled away by Harry. It was Hermione that had discovered that she was nowhere to be found, while Rhiannon confirmed her theory that Tonks was now in the exact same place as Harry. When asked how Tonks had got there, Rhiannon replied that Harry had summoned her. Which had, naturally, caused no small amount of confusion, and, in some cases, slight indignation. It was Leona who answered the unasked question, rather than Rhiannon, who had been the target of the general confusion and queries of everyone.
"She was his fiancee. Of course she'd be the first person he'd contact. They spent a lot of time together - who knows how much. They were very close. If he called anyone, it would be her."
"But she broke his heart." Hermione said logically.
"Yes, she did, but then, who better to mend it?" After that, there were few objections or arguments.
Harry and Tonks sat together, talking quietly.
"Why do you feel guilty for Sirius' death?" She asked softly.
"Because it was me that Voldemort tricked. If I had learnt Occlumency, then Voldemort never would have been able to fool me like that. And if he hadn't, I never would have rushed off to the Ministry - endangering my friends in the process - and Sirius never would have come after me."
"Harry, you can't change who you are. You are a Warrior Mage. You will always do what you believe is best for your people - no matter whether they are wizards, warriors, half-giants or anything else, for that matter. You did what you thought was best - you never asked anyone to follow you, Harry. They did - and still do - because they trust you. You just have to learn to trust yourself."
"How can I when everyone I love gets hurt because of me?"
"Harry, when are you going to realise that this war does not only affect you and Voldemort? Did you love Bertha Jorkins? Is that why Voldemort killed her? And the Muggle man? Even Cedric, Harry. You barely knew these people! And yet, Voldemort killed them. Not to get to you, but to further his own aims. You are not to blame. If you need to place blame, blame Voldemort - he's the one at the root of this, not you." Harry mulled over this, remaining silent. It wasn't that he wanted to feel guilty, but it was so hard to let it go. He had blamed himself for so long that it was ingrained into him.
Tonks watched as Harry struggled with what she had said to him. She knew that it would take more than a few words to strip him of the burden he carried, but she hoped, seeing him thinking about what she had said, that he would come to see that those deaths were not his fault.
"It's ok to grieve for them, Harry. No one expects you to just forget. But what good is your guilt to them? It stops you being at your best. And the only way you're going to beat Voldemort is if you're at your best. We need you Harry. You are our only hope to defeat Voldemort. But we will all be beside you, helping in any way we can." Tonks said bluntly, her eyes shining with tears. She finally understood - she understood what it was to be in Harry's position. The strength of character it took.
"I love you, Harry. I understand why you do what you do now. I was stupid. But never think for a second that I didn't love you."
"I wanted to keep you safe. Losing you would have destroyed me. After you...after...I forgot what it was I was fighting for. I was so angry. That's why I was so stupid, I guess. I just want this to be over! I want to be able to live a peaceful life. I want to be able to wake up and know that Voldemort's gone, that he can take no more innocent lives. I want to wake up knowing that my family is safe - that my future wife is safe."
"Harry, I can't think of a single person I'd be safer with - nor anyone I'd rather be with."
"It's going to be hellish, you know that?" Harry said, refering to the war that was only just beginning.
"I know. And I'll be right beside you. I'm an Auror, Harry, sitting at home just doesn't suit me."
"I guess I'm beginning to realise that."
"Don't worry, love, we'll get through this. Voldemort won't know what hit him." Harry stared into Tonks eyes for a long moment, searching. Tonks held her breath, laying her soul bare to the man she loved.
"I love you so much." He whispered after a moment, leaning forward and kissing her softly.
A/N Awwww, isn't that cute? Lol. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter- it's probably been the most difficult one so far. With any luck, the next one will be easier, and there won't be such a delay betwen chapters. Oh, and look - no cliffie. Aren't I good? Lol.
Lolly
xxx