Chapter 13: Going

Sam and Dean's separation was hard to see. Of course Dean tried to play it off like it was no big deal and he wasn't hurting. Sam on the other hand got a bit more emotional, which then made Dean call him a girl and they both ended up laughing and then we drove off. But in his eyes I could see it. Sam was his little brother, and he missed him and worried about him. It was almost sad to witness. So I was determined to make him un-sad. And I was good at that.

"Want me to drive?" I asked talking over the distant hum of AC/DC. He looked over at me, worry still written on his face. I matched his worry with concern which he noticed and smiled.

"No I'm good for a while." He said with the fake smile. He grabbed my hand from across the seat and held it.

"You know you don't have to do that." I told him.

"Do what?" He replied.

"Try and be everyone's rock, you are allowed to be human you know." I said honestly. And by the look on his face he apparently didn't understand.

"You always try to be the hero; you heed to others feelings and their emotion and try to protect them instead of talking. Then you don't leave time for yourself to feel anything. You just block it over by worrying about everyone else. And while that's very sweet… you don't have to do it." I explained. He just sighed and took his hand away from mine. I cringed inwardly and realized that I hadn't helped any.

"Dean I…." But he cut me off.

"Charly don't ok? I'm not mad or anything, but can we just change the subject?" He asked.

That was exactly what I meant. He shut everyone off and he shouldn't! But this wasn't the time to deal with it.

"Ok, fine…" I said quietly. Even though I knew he wasn't mad, he must not have gotten that because he grabbed my hand again and brought it to his lips and kissed it. I just smiled and looked back over at him to see him looking back.

"Where are we headed again?" I asked.

"Texas, just sounds like a haunted house but dad is at a loss on the demon so we are just doing things to kill time." He told me. I sighed and nodded.

"How long to get there?" I replied.

"About two or three days. Give or take a little." He said. I nodded and shivered. The coldness from the winter air in the north was coming in the broken-heater Impala. Dean must have noticed because he took his jacket off and put it around me.

"Thanks…" I told him smiling.

I was quiet. Normally, I was never this quiet. But it was like a million things were running through my mind today. Like Dean being, well himself, and this new job, and how I missed dance, and Sam being gone and the fact that I loved Dean.

"You okay today? You don't seem like yourself babe…" He said.

"Just a lot going on in my head. Not that you would know what that's like." I teased, trying to show him that I was okay. He pretended to be offended but the signature smirk came out loud and clear.

"Nah, I prefer not to think about a lot of stuff at once, it just causes problems." He retorted.

"Good, I don't like guys that think. Then they just think they're smart and get all macho and rude." I joked.

"Yeah well I already know I'm smart, so I won't be like those guys." He replied. I just laughed more.

"No, you are much, much better." I said smiling at him.

"I love it when you smile…" He said softly.

"You've mentioned that before…" I told him.

"Yeah, but it's true." He replied. I just shook my head and reached over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Thanks, but keep your eyes on the road. I would hate to die just because you like to see me smile." I said.

"At least you would die smiling." He tried to make a come back… it didn't work, and I ended up laughing really hard.

"Ok that was the lamest thing I have ever heard!" I said through giggles. Something must have amused him to because he was laughing.

"Hey when you've been driving for four hours, then you have a right to be lame." He retorted. I just shook my head as my laughter seized.

We talked a little bit, never letting anything get awkward. Then at around midnight we checked into a motel so we could get a few hours of sleep before driving again. Once we got in the room every muscle in my body was tense and crammed. So I grabbed the first shower, a very hot one, then let Dean take one and while he was in there, I did what every dancer knows how to do… I stretched.

The hot shower had relieved some of the tightness, so it wasn't so painful but at the same time more affective. After about 15 minutes of kicks, heel stretches, back bends, straddles, and running lunges, I lowered myself into the splits and held it.

I hadn't done anything like this in almost two weeks, so it wasn't easy but it felt amazing. So I did my favorite thing to do while sitting in a split. I reached for my back leg and bent it up, then arched my back so that my foot was touching my forehead and held it for a few seconds.

"Damn Charly!" Dean's voice said coming from the bathroom. My leg flew out of its hold and I looked up to see him staring at me in amusement.

"See something you like?" I asked as I stood up.

"Definitely." He smirked as I walked over to him. He hadn't put a shirt on yet and his hair was still wet which sent drops of waters falling down his body. It was incredibly hot.

Maybe I was gawking, but he noticed and got this cocky grin on him.

"I'm guessing you do to?" He said. I laughed a little and got closer.

"Maybe, but nothing to special." I teased. He just laughed some.

"You know, you are a very mean girl Charly Bray." He told me.

"Really now? I thought I was nice…" I replied. He brought his arms to my waist and gently pulled my closer to him while never taking his eyes off of mine.

"I give you compliment after compliment, but you can't ever say anything nice back." He joked. It was kind of true, but it was how we worked.

"Well, one of us has to be the tough one in this relationship." I said.

"And its you?" He asked.

"Damn straight. Now Dean, shut up and kiss me." I demanded. And he did so without questioning.

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Sam and Dean had been on the phone for an hour. I had no clue guys could talk for that long. But they were talking in some code and I heard laughter coming from Sam's side of the line and then Dean laughing himself. And it wasn't the 'oh that's funny' laughing either. It's the 'lets not let the girls catch us talking about this' kind of laughter. So I didn't even think I wanted to know what they were talking about. Fortunately I was driving so it wasn't bugging me. But after the hour was over, Dean hung up and looked over at me smiling.

"What is that about?" I asked.

"Apparently Sara is a little bit more stubborn then any of us gave her credit for." He said laughing some. I smirked.

"I could have told you that much. She hates being wrong, but loves to help. But if you tell her she is wrong she won't believe you until she is proven wrong. Sometimes she can get pretty defensive. It's actually kind of funny after a while." I told him, remembering some of our past together as kids.

"Yeah I think he is having fun, and she is doing pretty well to." He replied.

"Think we will find this thing before the time is up?" I asked, unintentionally changing the subject to something much darker then I meant.

"I don't know… and honestly, I kind of hope we don't. Its not that I doubt your abilities, it's just with Sam here, I guess I feel like there is a better chance of all of us getting out alive, and that's all I want." Dean told me slowly and honestly. I couldn't help but smile inwardly. He really did care more then anyone ever gave him credit for. All he wanted was for the people he loved to be safe. And it was sweet….

"Babe you don't have to worry about me. I love that you do, but you don't. I do want to find this thing though… and I swear I will kill it and any of its friends for what it did to Emma and Autumn." I said darkly. My speed had made a major increase in the past 20 seconds. Dean noticed and placed his hand on mine.

"You know we are all looking for this, and we have been doing it since we were kids… no one expects you to do it by yourself." He said. I clenched my jaw tightly before replying.

"No, they aren't, but for the past four years this is all I have ever wanted to do. And now I have a chance. It killed my sister and my niece… my baby niece, and I couldn't save her. She didn't deserve that. And if I could go back and replace my life for hers…" He wouldn't let me finish. My eyes were watering and my jaw was still clenched.

"Charly, don't do this to yourself. Not now, we don't even know where this thing is and right now we have another job to focus on." He started. Then we got to a stoplight and he finished. "And don't you ever say that you would rather be dead again… please."

It wasn't angry… but serious, and almost sad. I took a deep breath and when the light turned green, instead of heading straight I pulled into a gas station and just stopped. Over the past couple weeks something inside of me had changed. It was an energy and an emotion. I had known how to hunt since I was sixteen, but that didn't mean I had actually been in practice. And it stained you. Seeing those things and feeling that pain of either knowing you could die, or watching someone you love get hurt, it wasn't something you could just hide from. It was haunting, literally. But now I was in it, and there was no way out.

"This hunting thing really does take a toll on people doesn't it?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yeah Char, it does. I know how hard it is, I've been doing it my whole life. But I'm here ok? You aren't alone." He told me, stepping completely out of his element and being supportive and sincere. I closed my eyes and nodded slowly. His arm wrapped itself around my shoulder and pulled me to him. I relaxed into his embrace and without crying let a single tear fall down my face.

"I love you." He whispered so low that it was barely audible.

"Back at you…" I replied quietly.