1Practice Makes Perfect
II.
Zexion decided he'd call the kid campy. So okay, the word was something his grandmother used, but it worked in this case. He sighed and pushed back a mess of blue hair. Maybe it was just the cough syrup talking. Or something. Anyway, that wasn't the point, the point, maestro, was if you heard one bad tollbooth joke, you've heard them all, and Nilla had a freaking arsenal.
The origin of Nilla wafer, you ask?
With a job like his, one ended up doing many things one had never imagined they'd do to pass the time. Nilla had screeched through his tollbooth about a month ago and kept coming back every other day - one crappy joke after another - so Zexion slapped a name on him. He had others of course, being a bit of a name whore (like Dorito Lady and Dog Breath Man) but Nilla had to be his favorite thus far. Perhaps it was the cute blue eyes, scruffy hair - that smile with a dimple in one corner - or maybe it was just the completely unfunny cracks about highway patrol.
Not that he was any judge of funny. Zexion had lost his sense of humor, and ambition, the moment he'd realized smoking weed wasn't a viable career option. Damn high school counselors.
He jingled the change in his hand, glancing boredly at Nilla who was fidgeting with the car wheel. Zexion could practically hear the muffler falling off. Was the kid fucking serious?
"It's a dollar eighty-five sir."
Nilla looked up, shifting uneasily before smiling at him. Oh shit that was cute. So cute. Cute, cute, cute - in a totally non-sarcastic way, which was a rarity for Zexion. Yeeaahh, he was way too sober for this.
"I-I know." Nilla scratched at his cheek. Still cute, dammit. "Um, I'm sorry, is there anyway I can just pay you the balance next trip through? Uh, it's just cause, you know, I'm a little tight this week and um...I just had to buy that f#&!in anime! Do you understand the love of anime, mister?"
Zexion blinked at him. He blinked again. Then he blinked one more time for good measure. He mentally clucked his tongue - which sounded like his mother, God help him - and wondered what in the world these kids were thinking nowadays. You spent money on booze and bitches - not freaking anime. That was just sad.
Zexion cleared his throat. "Listen man, it's a dollar eighty-five. I can't change that. Now, you got eighty-five cents or do I hafta dig up the trooper?" Which he knew was a joke, because the trooper was probably three sheets to the wind. Fifteen more minutes and he could go join him.
They'd roast s'mores and sing Kumbaya.
"Oh no! Wait a minute!" Zexion felt his cock twitch at the entirely too sexy look Nilla sent him. Ho boy, things were about to get interesting weren't they? "Uh listen..." He swiped a pink tongue across his bottom lip. Zexion shifted and wondered how long it'd been since he'd screwed anybody - 'cause at the moment it felt like ages. You know, like ice ages. "What could I do for you to, ah, let this one slide, hm?"
A plethora of suggestions invaded his head, all dirtier and more interesting than the last, before Zexion finally grit his teeth and settled on one. Sad, but he figured there was always the random-chance-encounter in the future.
It would take a little maneuvering, and no doubt some bruises and wrenched elbows, but they could definitely do it.
Zexion tightened his fingers on the window and muttered with a grin. "Make it a quickie and you gotta deal."
Nilla stared at him a moment, like he couldn't believe his ears. Zexion watched the slow perusal of eyes - hey, he'd been checked out enough to know what that felt like - and the lightening quick sparkle of interest.
Hell yeah, Zexy was the master of hottness. Shway.
Nilla jammed out his car window and Zexion pointed him around to the door. Dear god, he had no idea what he was doing, but his blood was definitely pumping overtime. The pure wrongness of it slammed like heat into his belly. Damn he was hard.
Good thing he usually went commando.
Dragging the kid inside, Zexion eliminated the awkwardness in a rush - too many girlfriends with banners of 'Respect Me Damnit' had made him kind of allergic to personal space - and slammed him against the wall. It was unfortunate said wall had a window, but he figured that was okay since his Aunt had been the one to get him the job in the first place.
She was always doting on her favorite little cousin. Zexion wondered if the woman would end up hating him, but then Nilla started to suck his tongue and he decided it really didn't matter. There would be other, even more boring jobs.
Nipping down the side of a very soft neck, Zexion tore the kid's zipper down and tugged his pants off. He glanced at the last piece of material in the way and almost choked on his drool. Ah, little boy briefs - how spanky. He'd never look at Donald Duck the same way again.
He groaned and hooked a finger under the hem, quickly nudging them down a couple inches. Oh, that was nice. Then he moved in real close to Nilla's ear and breathed. "What's your name anyway?"
There wasn't much room - it was a fucking tollbooth after all - but the kid managed to move himself around. He slapped his palms against the glass. Now that was hott. "You know, I like you. We'll have to do this again." He tipped a mischievous glance over his shoulder, a couple sexy blond strands brushing his face. "It's Demyx, by the way."
Zexion grunted in response. Demyx had a nice ass.
Sex for eighty-five cents - damn could the day get any better?! Zexion didn't think so, and nudging the kid's legs further apart, slid down his own zipper. He sucked at an especially soft spot of skin just below his ear. "Guess I was lucky you were gay, considering the fact I propositioned you."
Shallow breaths reached him, fogging up the glass. "Not really gay, more bi-curious. For some reason I just really wanted to get in your jeans."
Zexion pressed his cock against the cleft of his ass. "I kinda have that effect on people."
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It was about the fifth car in line, where a little girl was staring oh-so curiously at the booth. She'd always kind of thought the toll people were really neat. Chewing on her knuckles, she wondered what that man's face was doing all squished up against the glass. It looked real funny. Like clay-doh.
The little girl glanced down at her mommy, who was rubbing her feet under the steering wheel and searching for a missing pen. She decided her super smart, super cool mom would be able to answer her question. They'd been there a long time too, and she was hungry. When she was hungry she liked to annoy people. Like her mommy.
"Mama? What's that man doing? His face is all squishy and funny looking! In the tollbooth, mommy. Mommy? Oh, mommy pay attention to me!"
The older woman released an angry sigh before jumping up, knocking her head against the wheel in the process. She rubbed at it irritably before turning towards her daughter.
She sighed again. "What is it sweetie?"
The little girl giggled, lifting a finger and pointing at the tollbooth. The woman acquiesced and lifted her head to see. Well, crap. Her eyes widened and she made crazy flapping motions with her hands, somehow bopping the horn before grabbing her daughter in the censor hold.
"Holy F#$!"
A/N - Jesus. Anyway, I've been smoking a lot of weed lately, and I sort of need somewhere to dump my nonsensical fics. I just sort of like stoner!Zemyx according to one of my reviewers. Ah heh. Anyway...expect Axel's "A funny thing happened -" and Roxas in a dress for the next one. Eh heh, yeah.