So, I have had 3 snowdays…. I'm writing like crazy and I want to get this story up and running again, so here it goes.

Chapter 15: Return

We had to go back to New York to get Sara and Sam. I wasn't excited. I loved both of them don't get me wrong, but I wanted to be alone with Dean. And we only had a few more hours of that.

"How much longer?" I asked from the passenger seat.

"About three hours… that's with out stopping for food." My stomach growled as if on queue. "And I guess that isn't an option…" he added.

"Sorry…" I said. But I hadn't eaten since the afternoon before.

My diet had gotten weird. I wasn't dancing, so I was deathly afraid my metabolism would slow down… plus we were on a hot trail for the demon right now that we had picked up about a week ago. And eating just wasn't a priority right now. It was all work.

"You don't have to stop, I can wait until we get there." I told him. But my stomach loudly protested.

He looked over at me and smirked.

"You look like you haven't seen food in months, I'm not going to deprive you of food just so we can get somewhere faster. Plus I'm hungry to." He told me.

But that's the thing. I didn't want to eat. I wanted to find this thing and sacrifice anything that took up the time of getting to it. Dean didn't know that. And I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be to happy if he found out.

This wasn't the first time I had crashed like this. I always did when I was under stress and it made me work that much harder. It was just one more secret that Dean didn't know about me.

After a couple days of thinking, I realized that there were a lot of secrets he didn't know about me. Not ones that I intentionally kept from him, but ones that just never came up. And maybe I didn't want him to know… maybe I liked having my secrets…

"Charly?" He asked. I heard the car stop and looked up. We were at a dinner somewhere in Pennsylvania.

"Yeah sorry…" I said. He gave me a questioning glare but I just smiled and got out of the car.

"You ok? You've seemed out of it lately." He asked, wrapping one arm around my waist.

"I'm fine, I'm just ready to find this thing. And now that John found a trail, I want to get it over with." I told him. Ok I wasn't fine. I was a wreck inside.

Ever since we found out about the trail I had been having nightmares about Autumn. And not just the ones where she and Emma were dying… but other ones where they were back here with me and then ripped away. I hated it.

"You sure?" He asked. I looked up at him, still trapped in my thoughts. I grabbed his hands which stopped him from walking, looked him dead in the eye and kissed him.

"I'm sure." I whispered. He wasn't convinced, but it was good enough for him.

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(Dean's POV)

We had left Texas, and after that nothing really popped up. The supernatural world was being quiet, then a week ago Dad called, telling us the Demon was at it again. There was a trail this time, so we had to go get Sammy and meet him in Wisconsin. But the demon wasn't what was worrying me this time.

It was Charly. Her eyes had this anger and hunger in them that I hadn't seen before. She hardly talked and I would wake up sometimes and find her with a cup of coffee and a laptop, researching anything she could about this thing. I wanted to kill it to, but her rage and passion for it was starting to beat mine and it was scary. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat, she didn't talk… but I didn't know what to do about it. It was normal for her to hate this thing, it was ok for her to hate it even, but it was eating her alive, and I never imagined that I would say this about Charly Bray, but I didn't know if she was strong enough to handle this.

We walked into this small diner and ordered food. After we did, I looked across the table and saw her yawn.

"Hungry and tired? I must be really bad at this whole boyfriend thing…" I said, trying to joke.

"I love you Dean, but I don't need you to take care of me." She retorted. Normally in her remarks like that there was something sweet among the bluntness. This time it was just cold and straight forward.

"Charly… hey…" I grabbed her hand and she looked up at me with tired and angry eyes. I knew the anger wasn't for me. But I didn't like it.

"I told you I'm fine." She said.

"Yeah well I don't believe you anymore." I said. She pulled her hand out of mine and went back to looking out of the window.

I sighed before going on. I really hated this whole talking thing, "Look, you can't do this to yourself and expect to fight this thing. I know you want to kill it, but Charly, you are letting it kill you. Hell we have only had the trail for a week and its eating you alive. And if going after this thing means I am going to lose you along the way… then forget it. I quit. I'm not going to let it take you, or Sam, or anyone else I love away from me."

She just stared at me. Then our food came. She looked down at hers and started to eat, much to my happiness. I watched her for a few seconds before I started to.

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(Charly's POV)

Ok, so I wasn't mad at Dean… I mean yeah, I didn't like his whole heroic attitude. But he was right. That didn't mean I was going to change everything. I worked better under stress and pressure. But I didn't like that I was scaring him. So we ate, then headed back to the car. Before we got in, he came over and pulled me to him. I was in shock for a second but quickly relaxed.

"We really are going to get this thing babe, I swear." He said. He knew me, and he knew I was stronger then this. Hell I knew I was stronger then this.

I nodded, then he reached down and kissed me. It wasn't quick either. It meant something. It meant everything. It meant that I would be alright.

My biggest problem, was admitting to myself that even if we killed this thing. Autumn and Emma wouldn't be back. But at the moment I was showing no strength. And I had to.

We got to New York a few hours later and we were greeted by Sam and Sara. They apparently had gotten close. And they were a couple. How sweet. I quickly decide they needed their own car.

But of course not. They were with us. And as soon as we were in New York we were out and headed for Wisconsin.

I sat in the back with Sarah who was writing something on a legal pad. After a few seconds she handed it to me.

'You're crashing again. Idiot.'

I read it. She was right. But I wasn't going to get another lecture.

'Shut up Sara… I work better this way.'

I handed the note to her.

'But you aren't good to any of us if you die of exhaustion. Hello, do you not remember the great hospital fiasco of 98'?'

Ok, so I was fourteen, my grades dropped, I didn't get Claire in 'The Nutcracker' and I crashed into a complete exhausted and malnutrition state. And I did have to go to the hospital. But that was eight years ago.

'I'm not going to get that bad again… and if you remember my grade went up and I got the White Swann in Swann Lake that spring.'

Oh, I couldn't wait for this reply.

'Yeah, which you lost once you were hospitalized! And didn't it almost happen again three years later.'

Ugh.

'Sara I was fourteen, and the second time, I had just lost my parents. I was lost. But I've grown up.'

And then…

'Apparently not! Hasn't Dean noticed anything? I mean have you even told him anything about your past at all?'

So I said…

'Why do you ask that?'

And she said…

'Because if you did I highly doubt he would be so calm about your new way of life.'

Like I said before, there were a lot of secrets Dean didn't know about me. A lot involving my life, my health, and everything else involving, well me.

'He doesn't need to know.'

Was all I had to say to that.

'Charly, if you love him, you would tell him.'

Ok, that hit way below the belt!

'After this fight, once we kill this thing. I will. I promise.'

I was tired of fight with her. And the sad this was, she was right. But in my eyes I didn't have a choice. If I wanted him to stay with me, and let me fight this thing with out having to watch my back the whole time, I couldn't tell him anything. And there was so much to tell…..