I didn't… I shouldn't have… this was wrong…

Edward looked at me curiously my eyes must look humongous.

"Bella?" He asked. I was in shock and denial, Edward couldn't like me, I'm not right for him. I could never give him anything he wants I'm not pure. I'm used and worthless. He looked when I didn't respond.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I told him regretful.

"Why Bella? That was amazing!" He exclaimed trying to cheer me up.

"I'm not right for you, that was a mistake, you have to get over me. There are things from my past that would make you hate me. I didn't mean to lead you on…I'm so sorry…" I told him apologetically and started crying. He looked crushed and it was my entire fault.

"Please take me home. I have to think everything through. Please don't hate me. I like you more than you know but, I'm not good enough for you." I told him, tears were falling endlessly. I looked up at his beautiful face and it was set in a emotionless mask. Then some emotion flickered on his face after that I couldn't put a name to it.

"I could never hate you, Bella. I'm not giving up on you. I'll give you the space you need but, I'll be waiting for you with open arms." He told me sincerely.

"I'll take you home now."

The drive to my house was intense. The atmosphere was tense. Edward looked deep in thought. When we got to my house, Edward pulled over and looked at me. There again was that emotion I couldn't name on his face and his mesmerizing green eyes bored in my dull brown eyes.

"Bye Bella, I'll see you soon." He said, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I blushed and said my byes. When I entered the house Alice and Rose were still there they looked at me and then at my eyes. They must've looked puffy from the crying. I didn't want to talk to anybody so I ran up the stairs and locked my door to prevent anybody from coming inside. I just wanted to stay locked in my room and cry. They knocked the door softly.

"Go away please "I said aggravated. I was trying to avoid talking at least all night.

"Bella let us in we want to help you." Alice pleaded.

"I don't feel like talking about it." I told her and sniffled.

It was like that for twenty minutes the pleading and arguing. I felt guilty but I couldn't talk to nobody about it at least at this state. Suddenly I heard loud footsteps going up the stairs.

"Bella open this door this instant and tell me what Mason did!" His booming voice demanded furiously.

"He did nothing, it was my fault."I yelled.

"What did you do that got you so bummed?" He asked concerned now.

"I started to like him and he likes me back but it can't work out Em." I said quietly.

"What did you say Bells, you were talking to quiet for me to hear." He asked. I repeated myself frustrated.

"Isabella" Emmett said seriously.

"Emmett" I said with the same tone.

"It's okay to like him, look I wasn't too thrilled when I found he liked you but he's a great guy and if you had to be with anybody I would like you to be with him." He said sincerely.

"That's thing, I want to be with him, but I'm not good enough for him. I'm not pure. I'm used, worthless, and dirty." I sobbed.

"Bell don't say that you're no where near that." Emmet said a tad bit hurt from remembering to that time.

Emmett decided to leave at that moment, I cried that whole night until I finally fell asleep.

I woke up pretty late the next day. I decided to shower I felt worn out from all that crying last night. It was eerily silent throughout the whole night when I got out of my room. It seemed like nobody was home. I decided I would check that out after I got out of the shower.

The shower helped me relax it felt amazing to feel relaxed at that moment.

I was right nobody was home. There were two notes on the fridge for me.

First one was from Charlie:
Gone fishing with Billy be back at 6.

Bells, I'll be bringing back fish fry home, don't make dinner.

-Dad

The second one was from Emmett:

Going to Port Angeles for the day with Rose be back at 5, Call if you need anything.

-Emmett.

They all had plans to do, and I was left alone by myself with my thoughts.

I decided I needed to do something or my thoughts were going to be the death of me. I wasn't sure what. I'm sure everybody was busy except for Edward…

I wasn't sure what to do. I decided to clean to take my mind off everything. It didn't really help everything I did made my mind think about him eventually.

I decided to call it a day and laid on the couch and changed the channels on the TV without even paying attention to the screen.
I felt like I needed to give somebody an apology and tell them the truth about everything I needed to get off this weight on my shoulders and let it all out.

I dialed those numbers on my phone and waited…

That's when I heard somebody on the other line answer.

"Hello?" I took a deep breathe and exhaled before I answer.

"Alice. I'm ready to open up." I said shakily.

AN: There you go! Next chapter will talk about everything about the rape.

I'm so excited to put that chapter up! It'll be up sometime tomorrow.
Also, I have a new story up called "If I open up my heart to you" Check it out!

Like always review my lovely readers.

-bewithoutyou9