Hints of Bedlam
Tony paused and tried to decide whether more problems would surface from this incident. Pointing the girls towards the kitchen he finally dismissed any mental threats of future problems and counted himself lucky that the problem had been tackled. Whatever- the household appeared to have recovered, and he had enough on his plate dealing with the present.
He smelled the oven and it galvanized him. With a start, he dashed into the kitchen to thwart any potential waffle burning.
Levi, standing on the counter and gripping a plastic bottle of syrup, greeted him. "I found this in the top of that cabinet."
"Good, but get down from there," Tony directed. "I don't want you climbing like that and I believe I have corrected you before."
"Throw it," Ethan ordered, peeping out from the side of the refrigerator and spying the bottle Levi clutched. "Let me go wide and gain some yards, Levi!"
Not until the instant that Levi's arm moved did Tony sense the danger and rush to intervene, "No, stop! Absolutely do not throw that bottle anywhere!"
Unfortunately, the directive arrived too late, after Levi's aim sent the syrup arcing through the air before it glanced off Tony's shoulder and landed, spinning and spouting syrup, at Ethan's feet.
Ethan jumped to the side, then froze in place, taken with the splatter pattern of sticky maple covering the cabinets and floor. "Wow! Look at the syrup! It splattered all over everywhere, didn't it? Whoa, man, that's just so cool!"
Still poised on the counter, Levi gushed gleefully, "Did you see how great I threw? My arm isn't even tired, either."
"Get yourself down," Tony hissed, eyes narrowed at the devastation confronting him. "Get off that counter right this minute and you and Ethan figure out how you are going to clean up the mess you just made."
"That mess?" Levi questioned, easing to a seated position before sliding onto the floor.
Before Tony could respond he saw Ava hurry into his sight dragging a crying Elijah behind her.
"Hey, stop right there," Tony ordered, holding his palm out like a signal. "I need you to stay out of the kitchen and to keep Vivienne out of the kitchen until this syrup gets cleaned."
"But Elijah hurt himself," Ava frowned, pointing to the source of her mission.
To corroborate that explanation, Elijah's tears morphed into loud wails.
Temporarily halting his kitchen focus, Tony swallowed his annoyance with Levi and Ethan and regarded the child. "What's the matter, Son?"
"Can't breathe," Ava supplied, pointing towards his nose. "Something's wrong with his boogers."
Ethan burst into laughter at that, but Tony swiveled back to regard him and Levi with a glare. "Believe me, you two have nothing funny in your futures and not a single thing to celebrate now. Stay right here and start cleaning this mess. And don't walk out of this kitchen until I clear you to do so."
Still smirking, Ethan agreed. "Will do, but do you want me to cut off the oven now?"
The oven! Tony had forgotten the cookie sheet of waffles. Grabbing a hot pad, he powered off the oven and grabbed their breakfast from the interior, sliding into onto the stovetop. Breakfast would come later. "Leave the tray alone," he ordered the boys, "and get the cabinets and floor syrup free immediately!"
Not bothering to wait for confirmation of their cooperation, he slid around one puddle of goo and motioned Ava and Elijah to back up towards the sunroom. Watching them begin to retreat, Tony spun to look around wildly.
Where was Vivienne?
She must have toddled into the den. If she wandered into the kitchen…..
Pushing Ava and Elijah before him, he sent them out to the sunroom before retracing his steps through the kitchen.
One glance in the den confirmed that Vivienne had devised a little nest there. She sat on the floor with her doll slung across her lap and a stuffed bear beside her. Swooping her into his arms, he nuzzled her before safely escorting her to join the others.
Even worse than a kitchen covered in syrup would be a kitchen and three kids covered in maple syrup.
Turning his attention to Elijah, he sat down in one of the wicker chairs and pulled the small boy towards him. A first glance appeared to negate Ava's diagnosis of a nose problem, since Elijah's nose ran as tears continued to fall.
Tony decided the first order of business lay in quieting his charge, so he simply pulled Elijah onto his lap and stroked his hair and rubbed his back.
Bored with the activity, Ava and Vivienne wandered to the other side of the porch to entertain themselves by watching a couple of birds help themselves to the smorgasbord of seeds offered at the feeder.
Studying them absently as he calmed Elijah, Tony decided they really could pass as sisters. Actually, the more he pondered the idea the more conviction he felt that all five of the kids possessed features which could serve as a familial resemblance.
His wounded warrior finally gulped a shaky breath, signaling the end of the sobs.
Tony whispered to him, "Will you show me your nose now, and tell me how it got hurt?"
The little boy cooperated, tilting his head all the way back for Tony's inspection. "It hurts me," he whimpered pitifully, crinkling his nose as he spoke.
Reaching out a hand, Tony touched the side of a swollen nostril and the child flinched.
"Hold it a second," Tony ordered, tilting Elijah's chin at an angle so that he could gain a different perspective.
Squinting for a sharper view he discerned something resembling red plastic. "Eli, did you put something up your nose?"
A nod provided the affirmation.
Tony took another diagnostic look and then struggled resignedly to his feet, sliding Elijah to straddle his hip. "Girls," he ordered. "Stay right here and don't leave this porch."
Neither responded, so he crossed to them and repeated the instructions.
In his room he rummaged through his shaving items until he located a pair of tweezers. He paired the tweezers with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol housed in the back of the highest cabinet in his bathroom, safe from little hands. Quickly disinfecting the tweezers, he set Elijah down on the toilet seat and demonstrated how he would use the tweezers to retrieve the object, reassuring his tiny patient as he explained the procedure.
Seconds later he dislodged a small lego piece and held it out for Elijah's inspection, narrating the visual with a lecture over stuffing items into body cavities. He washed the child's face and sterilized the tweezers again before finishing, "So you are no longer allowed to play with legos, unless I am with you in the room watching you, even if Levi and Ethan have them out and are building with them. Do you understand what I expect?"
He regarded the child sternly.
"Ok, yes, I will, I will leave them from me," Elijah promised, rubbing his sore nose and nodding his head vigorously to emphasize his cooperation.
"All right then," Tony grasped his hand and escorted him down the hall, then ushered him into the sunroom.
A check on Ethan and Levi assured him they had genuinely buckled down to their task even without his direct supervision, and evidently they had grown impatient to finish. Ethan knelt in front of the sink cabinet and scrubbed the last sugary traces from the door, while Levi scoured an area of the linoleum by the refrigerator.
Tony stood in the doorway and debated offering to help them. After all, another set of hands meant he could hurry and serve breakfast. He did still have nannies to interview, and honestly, he didn't want them to see the house or the kids at their worst, or at their most demanding.
What if the potential employees considered Tony's tribe too difficult? Where would he turn? What would he do? His cover depended upon his teaching job at the Navy School, and childcare needed solidifying before he began.
An insistent voice in the back of his head cautioned him to freeze in his position and avoid interfering with Ethan and Levi. It he intervened he would not only go back on the very consequence he had levied on the boys, but would make it seem that he did not have sufficient faith that they could rise to the task.
So he crossed his arms and waited, and five minutes later Ethan directed a lopsided grin in his direction. "Ay, Ay, Captain, come give it the white glove test!"
Excited that Tony laughed delightedly the nine year old's unexpected invitation, Levi bowed dramatically and joined the reply. "We aim to please, Daddy."
The family finally sat down for breakfast, though the waffles had cooled and definitely hardened and the loss of syrup meant they ate them dry. Still, Tony congratulated himself that he managed to deal with crisis one and crisis two with a minimum of anger from him= well, maybe he did lose his temper, but probably someone else's reaction would have been so much worse!
Oh yes, he reacted tamely, all things considered.
His response probably bordered on sainthood, come to think of it!
Taking advantage of the silence which enveloped the table as the five ate ravenously, he reminded them that they were expected to visit the pediatrician en masse late that afternoon. First, though, he laid out the day's agenda, taking pains to impress upon them the fact that he expected their absolute, most angelic behavior to impress the potential nannies who would arrive for interviews. They followed his logic dutifully, regarding him with wide eyes and interested (or concerned?) expressions.
A bit discomfited by their apparent cooperation, uneasiness gnawed at the back of his brain. As much as having them react cooperatively to the domestic help appealed to him, his limited experience as a father triggered a warning that calms preceded storms.
Dramatically wiping his mouth with his napkin, he mimicked the action for Elijah, who copied him soberly.
The child's seriousness often startled Tony, who marveled at the boy's sober outlook towards life.
"So," Tony summarized, settling back against his chair with his hands cushioning the back of his head. "We're good, right? Today when our potential nannies visit in this house- our house- we want to make sure to not act rowdy and scare them."
Levi scrambled to sit on his knees so that he could lean his chest onto the table's edge and attempt to translate Tony's implied meaning. "Do you want us to not act like us?"
"Well, no, not lying, I mean," Tony stammered, brow furrowed as he sorted exactly what he did want to communicate to the kids. "I just meant that we require a nanny immediately. Someone has to watch the babies while I work, and you older three will require supervision after school until I am able to get home."
Savvy to a possible complication Ava scowled, gripping the table's edge with her fingertips. "Daddy, what if the lady is mean to us? What if she doesn't like us?"
"No, no, no! I would never leave you in the hands of someone who treated you badly. You will meet them this morning and afternoon, one by one, and you will see that they like kids and have experience babysitting."
Levi raised his hand and swung it side to side as he bounced in his seat, impatiently awaiting acknowledgement.
"Ok, speak." Tony rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"What if the nanny is Mary Poppins?" He regarded Ethan with a gleeful expression.
"All the better," Tony confirmed. "She can teach you to spell."
Ethan narrowed his eyes. "Well then, what if the person you hire is a mass murderer who really wants to chop off our heads or something?"
Completely caught off guard, Tony banged his hand on the tabletop and struggled to wrest control of the conversation back to himself. "Listen, all of you, please remember that the potential nannies showing today have all been background checked, fingerprinted, interviewed by top brass, and recommended highly. I would not even consider allowing someone to drive up in the carport if I had reservations about character or whether they would harm you."
"Donald Duck's the character," Elijah contributed, pleased to join the serious family discussion.
"Where are the reservations? Are we going to a restaurant for lunch?" Ethan asked.
"I don't want the kid meal anymore," Ava established her future choice. "Now I'm going to be a kindergarten girl and I will eat growups food."
"That's not grown in kindergarten," Levi corrected. "You stay a baby 'til first grade. That's why I'm not a baby anymore since I'm a second grader."
Vivienne sneezed, surprising everyone with the unexpected noise, and five heads swiveled to regard her. Certain that she had pulled over a clever feat, she grinned gleefully and clapped her hands at the audience.
Tony laughed and blew her a kiss before again directing his attention to clarifying instructions and clearing misconceptions. As he spoke he considered the acquisition of a nanny from their view and tried to anticipate the genesis of their concerns. The entire hiring process would shape their futures. After all, their short lives had revolved around loss and upheaval, and deep down inside him, he conceded that he represented just their most current residential pause.
As he formed the words to put them at ease he reminded himself that though he might serve as a forgettable layover in their lives, he still possessed the power to enrich their next weeks and make those memorable.