This is most definitely an Ulquiorra love story! :3 Thank you for reviewing, LD-2015!

I woke up the next morning with a startle. My eyes darted around the room to find it the same as I had remembered it. My clothes were in pieces strewn along the floor and my covers mainly on the floor. I was still nude as I leaned back against the headboard, remembering who had come last night. Cheeks flushing again, I shook my head to try and get the image of him out. It didn't work. I bit my lip.

What the hell am I going to say to Ulquiorra? How the hell do I explain the clothes? Do I tell him that Grimmjow came? It feels like I'll be tattle-taling...What am I, in Kindergarten again?! Teacher! Grimmjow came and tried to rape me last night! I snorted. Yes. I should totally say that. I cradled my head in my hands. A headache was reeling its ugly head and slowly making itself known. What I needed now was something like coffee. Or better yet, Starbuck's double chocolate frappuccino. Yes. That sounds very good right now...As the thought of the drink filled my head, I realized I hadn't eaten anything for at least 12 hours. When was the last time I ate?...Before I started writing the story. Why aren't I hungry? I should be famished! I appraised my flat belly suspiciously, running my palms along my non-existent belly fat in circles. Just as I was lost in thought about the possible changes in my body from being in a make-believe character's body, a knock on the door brought me back to Earth. Or Hueco Mundo. Whatever.

Quickly, I grabbed the blanket strewn on the floor and wrapped it around me. The door opened just as I covered most of myself. Ulquiorra stepped into the room with his usual emotionless mask. Immediately, his eyes found the remnants of my dress on the floor. He appraised the room blankly and lastly settled his gaze to me. His eyes seemed to command me to spill the beans, but I glued my mouth shut and leveled my gaze to his, trying to mimic his blank facade.

A crack appeared in his mask, and something akin to jealousy peaked out for a fraction of a second before it was gone and perfect again. It ticked me off. I hated him hiding behind his mask as if he didn't have a care in the world. You want me. I willed. You care for me, I know you do! What happened yesterday proved it! I couldn't take it anymore. Tripping over the covers, I landed against his chest, pleading up to him with my eyes. My hands found his shoulders and shook them.

"Stop hiding behind your mask! I hate it!" I exclaimed. What I had done slipped the mask a fraction from its place. He looked startled, as if he hadn't expected a nude girl to pounce on him and start screaming at him. I would blush and start squirming, but I was too angry and sad to be distracted.

"You want me! I know you do!" I echoed my thoughts, shoving at his chest. His hands caught me reflexively, holding me against him in place.

"You are Aizen-sama's Hougyoku." Ulquiorra finally said with almost a hint of sorrow.

"I am Scarlett!" I argued, rising up on tiptoe to look him in the eyes. For the first time, he turned away from me.

"I am Scarlett!" I repeated, "I am not an object! I choose who I-

I bit down on my words. He turned back to look at me with almost a pained expression, "You choose who you what?" He questioned.

Chewing harder on my lips, I stared up at him in silence. Do I tell him? Do I tell him that I love him? How can I? He doesn't even know me. I've dreamed about him for years, but he's only met me yesterday. How can he possibly reciprocate my feelings? How can anything good possibly come from telling him?...I cried. If I could spend time with him. If only he could grow to know me. If only we had time!...But we don't. Reality came crashing back down. If Luppi is made, that means there's not much time left. Aizen will order Ulquiorra to go to the Karakura Town any day now, and Ichigo will-

"You choose who you what?" Ulquiorra repeated again, "Answer me, woman!" Anger clouded his beautiful emeralds and I almost couldn't bear to look at them. I shook my head and buried my face against his chest. He was so still. There was no heartbeat. So silent, so cold.

Suddenly, his fingers traced against my neck, circling a spot that I remember well. It was the spot where Grimmjow had placed his lips and laid his mark! I jerked away from Ulquiorra's touch and my hand flew up to cover the spot. I hadn't meant to, but it was already too late. Ulquiorra's eyes seemed to burn with tears, as if he would fall apart at the softest touch. My mouth hung parted and I couldn't make them work.

Without another word, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang. What have I done?... I fell to my knees on the floor, cradling myself as I cried. I hurt him. I hurt Ulquiorra. This is all my fault! If I hadn't given in last night! If I hadn't kissed him back! I screamed wordlessly at the floor, fingernails digging into my arms while I shook. I hurt him! My vision blurred and I could no longer see the floor right in front of my eyes. I hurt him! My chest heaved in labor as my breath came and went faster and faster. I hurt him! A numbness started to spread from my forehead and traveled along my nose. I hurt him! My breath only raced faster. Faintly, I heard the sound of someone's lungs about to give out. I hurt him! I hurt him! I hurt him! How could I? He's gone. He's gone. He's gone! My vision darkened as the numbness kissed my head and spread its touch to my arms. I'm...so tired… Everything went dark.

Somewhere in the darkness, a giggle echoed. I turned to find the source, but every time I seemed to have found the direction it came from, it always sounded again behind me. Panic began to take me slowly as my breath labored away. My chest hurt and I couldn't understand why as I clawed at it. The darkness stole the air from my chest, eating away at my breath as if it were sucking the life out of me. Just when I opened my mouth to use my last breath to scream, a pale hand reached out of the darkness and cupped my cheek. I was suddenly able to breathe again. I reached for the hand and the moment our skin touched, the rest of the body emerged from the darkness. It was the Hougyoku. The goddess I had created from a figment of my imagination. Her silver hair and pale skin seemed to glow in the dark as if she had swallowed the moon and now its brilliance filled her. She smiled down at me softly as she lay a soft kiss upon my lips. The pain in my chest disappeared and the numbness chewing at my head vanished. I suddenly remembered.

I hurt Ulquiorra.

"Shhh." She shushed, placing a slender finger against my lips.

"I hurt him!" I cried, pulling away from her, and suddenly the darkness became thicker. She stepped into me and pulled me into her embrace and the darkness thinned.

"It was your wish." She whispered sadly against my hair.

"I wished to hurt him?!" I asked, suddenly angry.

"No, it was your wish to love Grimmjow." She replied, "I am the Hougyoku. I manifest the desires of all around me. Inside of you, a small part of you loved Grimmjow, so I called him to you in the middle of the night."

"You called him? You were the reason he tried to rape me?!" I pulled away from her to glare at her.

"It is your desire." She replied, taking my hand. I yanked it out of her grasp.

"No! I never wanted Grimmjow! I love Ulquiorra!" I screamed at her.

"Is that why you kissed him back?" She asked simply. I was speechless. Deep down, I had known it. I had known that I wanted Grimmjow the moment I gave in to his advances. I was in love with both of them and for the life of me, I could not resist. But in doing so, I had cut Ulquiorra's heart.

Suddenly, everything seemed too much. I was a stay-at-home type of girl. I never went out on adventures, no hiking, no camping; the closest thing I ever got to camping was making a fort out of sheets and calling it a tent. But this, this going into another world, risking my life, this wasn't me. And LOVE. I didn't have the first clue what love actually entails. Sure, I drooled over the hot bishies like the rest of them fan girls, but actually being in a relationship? Actually interacting with men? Not to mention incredibly broody and otherwise homicidal men? No, that is definitely a first. I just...I just want to go home…

The moment I thought it, the Hougyoku glowed. Her skin seemingly caught on fire and I had to squint through the light to catch her face. Her eyes were downcast and sullen with arms spread wide as if welcoming me into an embrace. Unsure, I stepped forward a step.

"If that is your wish…" The Hougyoku's voice echoed in the vast, barren space that was suddenly lit up. It finally occurred to me what she was doing. She's sending me home…! For a second, I felt the first prickle of reluctance. It confused me. This was what I wanted. I was done with this place. I didn't want to be here anymore. Home is where I belong. Not here. And definitely not with Ulquiorra… His emerald eyes appeared in my head conjured from my thoughts. They were glittering with unshed tears. He looked like he was about to break… The speck of reluctance roared alive into immediate regret, but it was too late. The Hougyoku's light grew brighter and brighter as it reached its max, and my vision vanished into the light.

I woke up with a start on the floor in the bathroom. The plastic tiles were hard, but smooth against my nude body. I was leaning against the wall opposite the counter. Staggering to my feet, I rushed to the mirror. My hands slammed against the glass with a thud as I stared at myself in the reflection. My fingers automatically found my face, touching it to make sure it was real. The girl in the mirror mimicked the motion completely. Dropping my hands, my hand knocked over the green mug that was sitting at the edge of the counter where I lost placed it. It clattered aside, rolling a little before the handle halted it. I righted it silently, then turned back to the mirror. Silence filled the room so loud I couldn't help but break it.

"This is good." I forced a smile.

Turning, I caught sight of my abandoned laptop that still sat forlornly on the bed. Propping open the screen, the comforting hum of the laptop buzzed to life. I opened the Google Doc that contained the story and my eyes skimmed through the pages with wide eyes. It wasn't how I left it. The story had written itself somehow, and the last words on the page were, "The Hougyoku's light grew brighter and brighter as it reached its max, and my vision vanished into the light."

I felt a cold weight fill my chest as I forgot to breath. I took a deep, shaky breath. Well, this is where I turn around to find some ghost lady behind me! I couldn't resist. I turned, half expecting to find something there, but there was only a barren white wall. Yup. I've lost it. HA!

Quickly, I slammed shut the laptop and pushed it aside, then decided it wasn't far enough. Placing it on the table in the far corner, I finally climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin as I sat there staring at my room. The clock read 6:32 PM in bright red, digital letters. I vaguely recalled sitting down to type at around 6:00PM. Only half an hour had passed. Rather, I had typed for 30 or so minutes so no time had passed at all… I shook my head. Maybe this is all a dream? Screen radiation fried my brains, I tripped, hit my head on the wall, and voila! Weird ass dream about being abducted by a ghost lady into another world! My eyes flickered over to my laptop again. I imagined that too. I chewed on my lips and realized they were dry again.

Pouring myself another mug of water, I stared a hole into my own head in the mirror as I drank. No ghost or goddess-y lady. Setting down the mug, I rubbed the bridge of my nose, easing away the growing migraine. Sleep. I need to sleep.

Sleep did not come easily. In fact, it didn't come at all. I stared up into the dimly lit room by the last caress of sunlight filtering through the blinds from the window. My head spun circles around itself until the migraine raged at an all-time high.

Ulquiorra filled my thoughts, and whenever I tried to throw him into the back corners of my mind, he seemed to drift back up to the surface like a stubborn log. It was always the same faces. His startled face when we first kissed, the furrow in his brow as pleasure rode him. His eyes at their most vulnerable, and the realization and hurt that tore down his mask when he saw me that morning. It was my betrayal. It had probably been the first time Ulquiorra had opened up his heart to anyone...and this was the result. He would likely never trust another. And it's all my fault.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Heaving a sigh, I turned to the clock blaring its 11:39PM letter at me like a protest sign. Just what is bothering me so much? I'm finally home. Safe and sound. No Aizen killing me on a whim, no more hollow bitches waiting to pounce. I was home. And yet, something kept digging its way into me like an itch that couldn't be scratched. It dominated my mind, incapacitating me. What is wrong with me?...

Another century or so seemed to pass by before I turned to glare at the clock again. It read 2:11AM. I gave up. There was no way I was getting sleep tonight. Not like this anyway. I decided that the only way to get past anything was to face it.

I stepped quietly into the bathroom, flicking on the light switch. There was still no sign of the Hougyoku waiting to strike from the mirror. There wasn't a sign of anything at all actually. Everything was painfully normally. I had to talk to her. I'm not sure why, but I just knew I had to. This was home but...it was not. My heart had found a home somewhere else, and I was determined to find it.

I tried calling out to her, "Hey...Are you there?" Silence.

I tried again, "Hougyoku? Scarlett? Hey...please respond." I was talking to myself in the mirror, but my head had no space to take a crack at my own sanity.

"Please!" I cried, a bit more desperately, "I'm sorry I wished to go back! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" And still there was nothing. The silence was beginning to edge at my patience.

"Please! I want to go back!" I slammed my palms against the mirror, desperate for a ripple or something. Anything.

"I wish to go back! I want to see Ulquiorra again! I want to save them! I don't want him to die! I don't want them to die!" I spouted as my thoughts came out of my mouth unfiltered, "I can't stay here anymore!"

Tears were beginning to stream down my cheeks in increasing frequency, "I was lonely! I was sad! Life was meaningless! I woke up, ate, wrote stories, and then slept and repeated it all over and over and over and over again! Both my parents are gone! I'm alone! I'm all alone in this house and I can't take it anymore! I didn't know what I want but now I do! Please don't take this away from me! Please!"

Pounding the glass, I cried and blabbered away, "Please! Hougyoku! Grant my wish! I want to be there! I don't care if I die! I'm already dead like this! I'm not living! Don't kill me! Please! I don't want to die here! Please! Hougyoku!" The only noise that replied was the sound of my own pitiful sobbing and hiccups that wracked my chest. I truly was pitiful.

I scoffed to myself. How pathetic, Scarlett. You beg your own make-believe character to fix up your life and grant your wish? How stupid. No one wants you...No one cares. If you disappear, no one will know. It'll be months before anyone knows you're gone. Friends? What friends? Ha!

Can't cherish what you have until it's gone. What a typical Scarlett. Just like you couldn't treasure Mom until she went back to Taiwan and left you behind. And how you couldn't treasure your friends. Kept telling yourself you were okay alone. It was better alone. No one to please, no one to disappoint. Life is better that way. HA! Ya. Totally. You deserve this, Scarlett. You brought yourself to where you are now. You've got no one to blame but yourself! You pathetic bitch! If only you were gone. If only you disappeared. If only...you had never been born.

I cried until my eyes were swollen and dry, until my chest couldn't find the strength to take another breath, until my soul seemed to have emptied itself all over the floor. Used tissues were strewn all around me, balled up and moist. One was still crumpled in my stiff hands that I could no longer pry open. Or find the heart to. I curled up on the hard plastic tile in front of the mirror and let the emptiness take me.

I woke up stiff and sore, hurting in multiple places, but especially in my shoulders. I had fallen asleep on my side on the floor. Straightening up hurt as I rubbed at my shoulders and rotated them this way and that, trying to get roll the kinks out to no avail. My legs were shaky, but they worked as I stood up with the help of the counter. I was still in the bathroom. Of course I was. Where else would I be? The girl in the mirror looked ugly. There were huge bags under her eyes, which were lost in the swollen mass of skin. She had dry tear stains still trailing down her cheeks and her lips were chapped and dried as if she had gotten lost in the Mojave desert. I rubbed my nose and realized they were stuffed. I had probably breathed with my mouth the entire night, hence why they were dried to that degree. I tried to suck in air with my nose, but they were stuffed beyond repair. Only a hot bath could fix this.

The shower head pounded down and cleared the blockage in my nose. I took a deep breath and tried to make myself feel better, but the wrenching pain in my chest was still there. It had just taken a break while I slept, but now it began to wake. I squeezed my eyes shut and dove under the water current, trying to not think of anything. The shower ended before my mind caught on and I was wrapped up in a towel sitting on the bed.

I felt defeated. Like I had been pummeled and ran over by a train. I hated feeling this way. I was usually a lot more headstrong than this moping, whining, depressing bitch that I'm being now. I liked winning. I liked the feeling of being in control of my own life. Not this, I'm-spoon-fed-shit-so-I'm-going-to-open-my-mouth-and-eat-it sort of girl. No, I was definitely the fuck-you-I'm-going-to-make-my-own-food type of person. I sighed. If only I could just, make a way back. Maybe clap my hands and voila, a portal will appear and I'll be able to step through it into Ulquiorra's arms. Ya, if only.

Then it hit me. What if…

I fumbled at the laptop and flipped open the screen. It was black. Fuck! The battery! I stumbled around the room, tripping over trash bags and random shit trying to find the charger before I found it right where it was supposed to be - plugged into the power outlet. I rolled my eyes at myself and rushed back to the laptop. Plugging it in, it took a moment before the light on the power switch lit up. I smashed at it impatiently. The Windows start-up seemed to take forever. All the while, my fingers tapped away vigorously at the plastic palm rest as if every tap of my finger would shorten the start-up time by 1 second. I wish. Finally, Chrome was open and the 'Restore Tabs' option sat expectantly like a god-sent gift.

The story opened and the words that filled the page were different. I felt my heart stop. The last words on the page this time were, "I curled up on the hard plastic tile in front of the mirror and let the emptiness take me." A feeling of both excitement and fear bubbled up out of my lips in an inarticulate gasp.

My fingers whirled over the keyboard as if possessed and I was lost once again within the scene that unfolded in my head.

She felt the sting of regret like message from God as she rushed back in front of the mirror. She closed her eyes with surety that when she opened them again, the Hougyoku, Amaterasu, the Goddess of the Sun and the universe, would appear before her. And sure enough, she peaked through the fringe of her eyes and found her. The beautiful Amaterasu smiled at her from the mirror and rose once again from the glass. This time, Scarlett welcomed her. They embraced in each other and Amaterasu's light filled the lonely bathroom with a wash of warmth and pure magic. And as soon as she had appeared, they both were gone, taken away into the other world where she now called 'Home'. Scarlett spoke with the goddess before she was returned into the barren room in the form of the goddess herself with a newfound strength to attain all that she desires.

As soon as the last word was transferred onto the screen, I turned and ran straight for the bathroom. I squeezed my eyes shut and I felt it. A surety that when I opened them again, she would be there. I felt it and I knew it would be. I opened my eyes with a smile and before me in the mirror stood Amaterasu smiling softly at me. I smiled back. This time, I will attain all that I desire!