Stage 3: Compromise

The moon was high when Neji embarked for home. The compound was both dark and empty, with most of the Hyugas being asleep. He was silent upon arrival, unusually more so while passing Hiashi's domain.

His resentment for his family bubbled just beneath the surface of his composed façade. On missions, Tsuki would watch him go through these nightly thoughts closely, though he could never get her to tell him why she seemed so cautious. One night, he discovered for himself the answer when she refused to discuss the Uchihas. He finally connected the dots. She was holding her breath for the next clan massacre.

He wished he could honestly claim that thought had never crossed his mind. However, that was not the truth, and he sensed that she knew it. His family was very unbalanced, and their death would do nothing to save it. He could not harm a child, and Hinata would be unable to defend herself against him. He could hardly have harmed her, even in the chunin exams, it was hard.

Hiashi saw his partnership with Tsuki as suiting. Neji was destined to dwell in the newcomer's shadow, just as outcasted as she. If Hiashi knew why Neji felt so bound to her, he could possibly be expelled from the family. Hyugas relentlessly protected the Hokage. Hiashi would agree with Neji; that he had killed him.

These thoughts haunted Neji every night. He found himself standing in front of his dresser with no memory of having gotten there. He removed his protector plate and stared at the thin green markings on his forehead. He could not find beauty in them, as his comrade did. It was a comfort to know she regards him higher than she does the other members of his clan, albeit a mild one.

He sighed. He had peaked his second decade, and his parents were urging him to find a wife and settle down. His life was half over; most shinobi didn't live beyond forty. They would never accept Tsuki, though she was the only woman he could stand to be around for prolonged periods of time. She was the only female capable of staying silent for hours when he didn't feel like talking. She seemed relieved by it. She wouldn't pry when he kept things from her, she wouldn't annoy him to tell her all his secrets. She'd just look at him, letting him know she knew he was hiding something. She couldn't pry, because she hid just as much from him. As much as her secrecy bothered him, he respected it out of appreciation for the space she gave him. The family wouldn't understand that. They had long expected for him to take Tenten as a bride when Lee failed to show interest in her. She had the dark hair and dark eyes that were optimum for the Byakugan to form, and a long line of Leaf shinobi behind her. That was all the clan leaders cared about; honour the village, continue the genes. He had no idea how Tsuki's eyes would clash with the Byakugan. They could see things he would have never noticed, especially in the dark, but she was prone to motion sickness when she saw too much red.

He threw his shirt to the floor, not caring about tidiness. His bed called to him, firm and warm. Tsuki's bed had been a stark contrast, a cloud in cold satin sheets. "What does she even need satin sheets for?" he asked his reflection. The man in the mirror just stared at him with his own jealous eyes. He hardly believed her when she said he was the only man to lay in her bed.

XxX

Neji set out that morning in search of Tsuki. His night had been restless, as was to be expected, but that didn't slow down his mornings anymore. He was adapting to life with less sleep, though he longed for the days where he slept better at home than he did on missions. He eventually found her on top of the wall that surrounded the village. "Is it legal for you to be up there?" he asked, legitimately concerned. He didn't think the elder council would look kindly on her testing the limits of their security.

She looked down at him. "I wouldn't know," she answered with indifference. She was used to a life where rules didn't apply to her, making her seem all the more wild and out of control to the villagers. She mostly kept it under control, but it was times like this that Neji wondered what the others thought of her escapades.

He scaled the wall in pursuit of her, all twenty five feet of it. "What are you doing up here?"

She continued walking along the inside ledge of the wall, making no conscious effort to stay on that side. Technically speaking, she hadn't left the village, so long as she didn't cross to the other half of the wall. She was always pushing limits.

"I'm surveying the village," she answered. "It looks different from this perspective."

He looked around at the buildings and could see down various streets only so far before his view was blocked by another structure. "We're not that high up, the view is still blocked," he pointed out. He then got the feeling that this was the point, and followed her without much conversation. Her strange ways were a part of her charm. Not many others felt that way.

They continued walking until they came to the northern gates. Sakura, Naruto, and Sai were walking back into the village. He wasn't paying much attention to them, but Tsuki wasn't looking away. She always watched Naruto and Sakura closely. Neji thought they would have approached her with questions about Sasuke, but she hadn't revealed anything to him.

Naruto's rough laughter broke the silence. The passed under Neji and Tsuki without much notice. Sai made eye contact with Neji. Sai creeped him out for reasons Neji couldn't quite name.

They ran into Naruto again at Ichiraku. It was to be expected, in hindsight, as it was his favourite restaurant. Neji regretted his decision for ramen as soon as Naruto greeted them.

"Neji, Tatsuki; what are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Eating, I would hope," Neji answered. It irked him terribly that Naruto felt he was familiar enough with Tsuki to give her his own nickname. It satisfied him to know it irritated her just as much.

While he was steaming, Tsuki ordered for them: two chicken ramen bowls in a mild vegetable broth.

Naruto's eyes narrowed at Neji's blatant answer. "You're on a date, aren't you?"

"Doubtful," Neji muttered, turning a brilliant shade of red. He sat down, placing Tsuki between himself and Naruto.

"Tatsuki-chan," Naruto whined, "Are you two dating?"

"Are you dating Sakura?" she countered venomously, purposely driving a stake through his heart, knowing how much Naruto wished for that to be a reality. "Is it so unlikely that comrades enjoy lunch together, and that's all they'll ever be?" She ignored the look of pain that crossed Neji's eyes for the briefest of moments before he whisked it away.

"I just thought," he mumbled, "You guys are always together outside of missions. It's a natural assumption."

Their lunch was placed before them. Tsuki and Neji enjoyed an awkward silence together as they ate. Naruto babbled on the whole time, not requiring any of their attention; Tsuki was quite satisfied with her ability to tune him out. Every now and then her concentration was broken by Ayame's coy giggling.

Full and satisfied with her lunch, Tsuki absentmindedly pushed the leeks around her bowl. For some reason that remained unknown to Neji, she never ate the leeks. She never requested that they be left out, either. He took it upon himself to eat them for her whenever she offered. Today, she just pushed the bowl toward him.

"You guys are so cute together," Naruto beamed.

"I'm going to break your nose," Tsuki growled at him. Neji couldn't help but notice that her hostility level was dangerously high today.

Naruto, oblivious to the danger he was in, continued to badger her farther. "Sasuke always complained that you were cold." He folded his arms across his chest and pouted.

Neji looked up at her just in time to see Naruto's face being forced into his bowl of ramen. Before he even had time to resurface and complain, she had slid silently out of the noodle shop. "Good going, kid," Neji reprimanded. He left the money on the counter to pay for their meals and pursued after her.

"What did I say?" Naruto complained, confused.

XxX

Tsuki fumed for Naruto's ignorance relentlessly. The mention of Sasuke's name had surfaced the memories she had been trying so desperately to suppress, causing her to lose her self control. One more word and she would have stayed behind just to make sure Naruto had drowned in his broth. Neji wouldn't have stopped her; or maybe he would have. It might not have made a difference.

` She walked around Konoha for hours, blazing new trails. She did not want to be found. Those who crossed her path didn't stop her. She wasn't a member of their society. For once, she was grateful for their forced segregation.

She passed Shikamaru. He stopped his conversation with Ino to glance at her, only for a moment. He could see her fury. Ino followed his gaze with curiosity; unlike him, she glared at Tsuki with obvious distaste. Ino was waiting for Tsuki to make a mistake, always watching for her next move. There was a new emotion behind her stare, almost a certain smugness. It didn't occur to Tsuki that Ino had witnessed her unusual display with Neji the night prior. Shikamaru remained emotionless and bored.

Tsuki forced herself to calm down after passing the two, at least to appear as though she had. She was taught to control her emotions effortlessly, and up until four years ago, she had been able to do just that. Now, as she had severed herself from her rock of stability, she found it to be harder and harder to achieve an emotionless façade, such as the one Shikamaru displayed every time he saw her.

Shikamaru unsettled her. He was the only person she had difficulty reading. His lack of expression toward her had her alarmed and cautious; did he hate her, as so many others in the village did? Was he just waiting for her to make a mistake, like Ino, before lashing out all of his pent up rage for everything she was associated with? Perhaps he really didn't care, as his expressions, or lack there of, would imply, and she was simply over thinking. It unnerved her severely, not knowing what his motives and intentions were. She prided herself on being able to read even the most dangerously controlled men, yet this one boy she couldn't comprehend.

She found herself climbing up to her apartment without intending to go home just yet. She decided against turning back, as Neji was most likely waiting for her. She didn't care about explaining anything to him; he wouldn't ask that of her. Naruto would move on with his life. She couldn't care less as to how he handled what she had done.

Upon opening her front door, she found Neji lying on her couch. The door was still locked and all the windows were still closed. She never left them open. "How long have you been here?" she asked.

"Since you left Ichiraku," he answered, not even bothering to move. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered with an exasperated sigh. "I'm annoyed at best, infuriated at worst."

Neji now sat up on the couch and patted the cushion beside him. "I'm not asking for an explanation," he assured her.

She could feel her defences rising, even though he never asked her why she did anything. He had always been nothing short of accepting of her. "I'm not sure I would have one to give." She sat beside him, leaning against his shoulder. His smell enveloped her; a rich, lilac scent.

"I've heard a lot of hearsay about what happened between you and Sasuke," he informed her. "I'm not sure what to believe."

She stared at the coffee table in front of her. "Are you trying to help, Neji?"

He sighed and shifted slightly to the side, resting with his back against the arm rest, allowing her to lean against his chest. "I don't know," he answered with honesty. "I can't remember why you might be upset with Sasuke, and I'm not asking. I just want to know if you're okay."

"I'm fine," she grumbled. "Sasuke and I were friends at most. I used him to establish an identity here. I had no knowledge to Orochimaru's plans with him, otherwise I would have avoided him like the plague. He sought me out, for reasons I still don't understand. He avoided females at all costs, it seemed."

"He avoided females that idolized him," Neji corrected. "You would have been the only one he came across that didn't see him as special."

She sighed with exasperation. "Yeah, he said something along those lines once. It didn't matter, because once he found out about my connections to Orochimaru, he decided to hate me."

Neji's brow furrowed. "He sought Orochimaru out. That doesn't make sense."

She nodded. "He thought I used his emotions against him, and had betrayed his trust."

"He developed feelings for you, didn't he?" The question was straight forward, and sounded forced, even to Neji.

"He was back and forth about it. I personally think it pissed him off that I wasn't crazy about him. It wounded his pride."

"Is that all?" he asked with sarcasm.

"I'm certain it is," she answered.

He could feel her shoulders tense up against him. He had to redirect the conversation before she lashed out at him, too. "I believe you," he replied. He took a small breath, more to stabilize her than himself. "Let me explain something to you. Naruto's a twit. He's upset because Sakura's been turning him down for years over Sasuke, and Sasuke spurned her over you. You disregarded all of that in your belief that love is weakness."

He could feel the tension roll off of her as she prepared to retaliate whatever he was about to say. To prevent this, he placed a hand on each of her shoulders. "Please, just hear me out for this. I'm not criticizing your mindset. I'm merely explaining why Naruto acts the way he does." Her shoulders relaxed a tiny bit under his palms, and she nodded. He took a deep breath and continued. "Naruto is upset with you because Sakura is still chasing after Sasuke, because she thinks that you rejected him."

The tension immediately returned to her muscles as she coiled back. "I never rejected him. We were only ever friends!" Her voice had gone through two octaves, which made Neji weary of the information's validity.

"Nonetheless," he continued, "Naruto sees you as the one who should have taken Sasuke away from Sakura, leaving her to be loved by him. On top of that, he doesn't understand why Sasuke would have chosen to go to Orochimaru; Naruto thinks that Sasuke was just chasing after you. He can't help himself but to blame you for Sasuke's disappearance. It's the easiest answer for him to accept. He refuses to believe Sasuke is capable of disregarding his village for selfish gain. To Naruto, love is a more noble cause."

Tsuki sighed heavily. "This is why I don't date; the drama drives me insane."

He brushed a stray strand of hair from the side of her face to rest behind her ear. "I thought it was because you claim to be incapable of loving someone," he inquired.

"I never said I was incapable of love," she corrected. "I merely said it was weakness." She swatted his hand away.

"That hardly sounds convincing," he observed, resting his hand back upon her shoulder. "I think you're afraid."

"Why would I be afraid of something that isn't tangible?" she growled. The tension returned to her shoulders, and he could sense that his response would make or break their day, or the next few days, depending.

"Tsuki, I'm not trying to anger you. I'm just concerned that you're sabotaging your own happiness." He gently massaged her shoulders, trying to ease her tense mood.

"I'm not sabotaging myself," she rebutted. Her tone was shifting, the massaging was working, and it frustrated her, but she couldn't bring herself make him stop. "I don't need love to be happy. Love has nothing to do with dating."

He rolled his eyes, slightly wounded. "That hardly sounds like a worthwhile endeavour."

"Yet another reason to validate why I refuse to do so," she answered. She rested her back against him fully, allowing him to support her.

He shifted to make her more comfortable. "You crave companionship," he pointed out. "I've heard you tell your tale, I've read the reports, and I've seen it first hand. You want so badly to be allowed to experience a healthy bond, but you're always holding yourself back."

"Love is weakness, it only leads to pain and suffering," she stated, as though reciting an admonition."

"You can't honestly believe that," he whispered.

She bowed her head in silence and stubborn pride. It was obvious that this conversation was over.

To him, their relationship was a strange one. There were moments like this, where they were physically closer than just comrades, though her opinions never changed. She would deny him any plausibility that she ever would try to become closer to someone, even while intimately pressed against him in such a way to make any outside observer believe they were more than just friends. Naruto's observations were perfectly justified, and yet she was an emotional iceberg.

Somehow, she had found a way to detach intimacy from romance; he wasn't quite sure how that was possible, and there was a fine line between what she would accept and what she wouldn't tolerate, such as leaning against him and allowing him to hold her; that seemed to be fine. Yet, when he played with her hair, she would push him away and retreat inside her shell again. He narrowed it down to make a minuscule amount more sense to him: he could show small signs of intimacy, but he wasn't allowed to show that he cared. Soft touches and small gestures: those were out of bounds. But to show possession of her, such as holding her hand, or embracing her, was acceptable. It was twisted, but given her history with Orochimaru, he forced it to make sense.

The stillness eventually got to Tsuki; she always had a need to be doing something. She couldn't stand being idle for too long. She pressed against him, breaking his train of thought entirely as he watched her rise from the sofa.

"Would you like tea?" she asked, as she walked toward the kitchen.

He followed her, leaning against the wall opposite the sink. "Always," he answered. "How could I refuse?"

She filled the kettle at the sink until it she was satisfied that it would be enough for the two of them. She set it on the stove and turned it on high.

Upon her silence, Neji pushed forward. "I didn't mean to offend you," he stated. "I hope you weren't upset by what I said."

"I know," she answered pointedly. "I'm sorry. I know to you it seems like I'm acting strange, and I don't know how to explain myself." She busied herself by packing two tea strainers full of white tea leaves.

Neji tilted his head a few degrees to the right. "Is there something going on that I don't know about? You know you can tell me anything."

She sighed softly; he almost couldn't hear it over the small bubbles forming inside the steaming kettle. "I just have a gut feeling," she explained, "And it isn't a good one. Like I said, I can't explain it. I just feel like something's off."

He stood behind her, once more placing his hands on her shoulders. "Could you be feeling this because we're completely out of sync?" he asked.

"I don't think we are," she answered defensively. He could feel her tense again.

Neji left her side to take the boiling water off the stove before the whistling steam could pierce their conversation, and her sensitive ears. "You haven't noticed that we've been hit and miss since our mission to Suna began?" he asked, pouring the water into their cups.

"What do you mean?" she asked, accepting her cup from him and bobbing the strainer in the water, forcing the tea to steep faster.

He sighed. "You're on edge, and I've been walking on glass. Any mention of anything that relates to your past, romance, the future, or relations in general has you on fire. The mere mention of Sasuke's name caused you to assault Naruto." When he looked into her eyes, he could see the daggers. He had hit his mark. "Don't be upset with me, Tsuki, I'm only worried."

"I'm fine, Hyuuga-san." Her jaw was set ridged and locked.

The snub didn't escape Neji's notice. "It's been two years, and you still call me Hyuuga-san when you're upset with me," he pointed out with a smirk.

She set her cup down on the counter while she waited and folded her arms against her chest, a defensive stance. "So what's your point?"

"There isn't one," he answered. "I'm not looking to fight with you." He reached for the honey and poured a generous serving into both of their cups, removing the steeping strainers. He handed her the cup.

She glared into her tea. "I know, Neji. I'm distracting you from me."

He stared at her, not sure what she meant. He took a stab in the dark. "Our lives depend on each other, and you're pushing me away? What's the worst that you could endure if you let me past your defences?"

She just glared into her cup with more ferocity than before.

He sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Your trust is more valuable to me than anything."

She took a sip of the scalding liquid and Neji watched her emotions melt behind an icy façade; that was never a good sign. "Why are you so concerned?" she asked. Her voice was deceivingly calm.

Neji knew that he was walking on thin ice; if he said the wrong thing, their whole relationship would crash and burn, forcing him to start from the beginning once more. He'd made that mistake before. He wasn't willing to do it again. "When you're unsettled, Tsuki, I'm unsettled; likewise, when I'm upset, you are too. We are a team; two parts of a whole. I depend on you. My life is in your hands. That's why I care." He drained his tea in one go to finalize his point.

"I'm fine," she repeated. It seemed to him that she spent a lot of time convincing him of that.

He watched her carefully, not daring to call her out on her lie when he was already walking through dangerous waters. She knew that he knew the truth. He knew that she knew.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" she asked, after some time had passed.

"Because you confuse the hell out of me," he answered. He sighed before he continued. "No one can keep me on my toes like you do."

"Maybe that's what you need, Neji. It's high time someone threw you off your guard." She poured more water into their cups and replaced the tea strainers.

"If that's the case, then maybe you need someone who can break through your defences and earn your trust," He countered.

She leaned against the counter. "Touché," she answered. "So now what?"

"What, now what?" he asked in response, sweetening his tea.

She accepted the honey from him. "What do we do now?" she clarified. "Clearly what we're doing isn't working for us."

He sighed. "I'm open to any suggestions you might have. How can I earn your trust?"

"I don't think I can trust anymore, Neji, not with everything that's happened." She put the honey back in the cabinet.

Neji set his cup down on the table to his right and forcibly approached her. With his hands on the counter behind her, confining her within his arms, he whispered softly into her ear, "That's behind you now. Orochimaru never wanted you to trust anyone. He controlled you that way; he still controls you so long as you believe that." She tried to look away from him, but he guided her to face him again. "This is what he wants of you, Tsuki. He's always alienated you from everyone else. He wanted to be the only one you could rely on, because he knew you were the only one he couldn't poison into submission."

"I trusted him, and he destroyed me, Neji. I trusted Sasuke, and he turned his back on me as soon as he met resistance; when it was no longer convenient for him to want me. I started to see a pattern." He could see the tears forming in her eyes. He had broken her façade.

"You had to trust me to come back here. What has happened to you since?" he demanded.

She looked him in the eye after she blinked away her tears. "Do you really think that trust is our problem?" she asked.

"We'll start with trust," he answered. "That's the foundation of a functioning team. From there, everything else will fall into place. After trust, we can work on communication, and our fluidity." He released her from his binds, stepping back to retrieve his tea.

She sighed in defeat. "Can we start with communication?"

Neji contemplated her request for a moment. "That sounds reasonable. Will you tell me what's bothering you?"

She looked at the floor, shying away from his gaze. "Only if you answer a question for me," she answered.

"I'll answer anything you ask," he replied as he reacquainted himself with his tea.

She sighed as she braced herself to answer his question. "It's been over two years since I've heard of any activity from Orochimaru or the Akatsuki regarding myself or any danger this village might be in. I'm worried that we're long overdue," she explained.

"Why are you worried about that," he asked. Her woe was perfectly justified, but he wondered what brought the onslaught of thoughts to her this time.

"Yahara asked if I had heard anything about them," she answered, "And I realized that it had been too long since anything had happened."

He brought her to him, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Everything will be fine," he assured her. "I'm not going to let you go so easily."

She tentatively wrapped her arms around him, allowing the endearment to linger. "I don't want you to get hurt," she whispered.

"I'll be fine," he confidently answered. "Now what's your question?"

Tsuki stared at Neji for a moment, not sure how he would react. "What's the deal with you and Tenten?"

"Fine," he sighed, clearly not wanting to divulge her curiosity, "But you have to explain Gaara."

She nodded, waiting eagerly for his answer.

"She and I were team mates when we were genin. I don't know about Sound or Sand shinobi, but the majority of marriages here are started on genin squads. You get used to the konoichi in question, and bonds continue to grow. It's only natural. People expected this of her and I when Lee showed no interest in her at all. She allowed the idea to consume her, expecting it to be an undeniable fact other than just an idle fantasy. I, however, did not." He met Tsuki's gaze again. "Now, about the Kazekage," he prodded.

"Hold on," she back peddled. "Why does she feel inclined toward you, but you don't feel the same way?"

"There are many reasons," he answered, shifting his weight. "Most of them are personal." She arched an eyebrow, demanding further explanation. "Choosing her would please Hiashi," he explained, "And we really don't have much in common to talk about. Now it's your turn."

She sighed, accepting his answer though she knew he was hiding something from her. "It started during the chunin exams," she began. "Orochimaru was worried that the Kazekage before Gaara was intending to counter strike against him. The sound genin and I were recruited to gather lintel on the matter, by any means necessary. I specialize in reading people, and drew the short straw, it seems. Somehow, flirting with the sand demon worked; until he found out I was following orders. Manipulating his feelings to gather information didn't go over too well. He vowed to make me suffer while quenching a sick thirst for revenge. Once he became Kazekage, he softened toward me once he came to terms with having higher priorities than chasing me across the nations. The infatuation seems to still be there, but the bitterness seems to have faded with time and wisdom."

"Interesting story," he commented. "So, he likes you because you fooled him?"

She shook her head. "No, he liked me because I was the first person he met that wasn't afraid of him, and didn't meet him head on with a challenge. When he found out I tricked him, he hated me for it," she clarified. "When he realized he would infiltrate a criminal organization for me, he tried to convince me that if he could love, then so could I, and that no one would understand my pains the way he could."

Neji's eyes darkened as he recognized the truth of what she said. He would never understand the pain she went through with losing her parents, or being sought after by the two most hated organizations in the shinobi world. "So, can you love?" he asked. His curiosity ate at him, as well as mild jealousy. He had always suspected that there was more to Gaara and Tsuki than a professional relationship.

"Undoubtedly I could if I wanted to," she answered.

"Here's another question for you," he declared. "Why do you refuse to love?"

She set her empty cup in the sink. "Love is a weakness that leads only to bitterness and death," she repeated. "My father died protecting my mother because one of her prior lovers was scorned. Sasuke became infatuated with me, and that turned to bitter hatred for my following orders with Gaara, who hated me for fooling him into thinking he had been loved in the first place."

Neji's eyes darkened as he rinsed out his cup as well. "Seems to me like Orochimaru really knew how to isolate you."

"It was his favourite hobby," she answered.

"Do you really feel it's a valid point if Orochimaru made it?" he asked, caressing her cheek softly as he returned to his wall.

"Neji, please don't press it," she asked.

"All right," he appeased, "I'll let it go for now, but you're wrong."