Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood or the BBC.
This chapter also contains some strong language. Reader discretion is advised.
On another note: Reconciliation is a big word that means confessing your sins to a priest.
It is dark in my cell. My back burns from the last whipping. It reeks of blood, piss, vomit and sweat. The dungeon guard walks up to my cell, half drunk and laughing. The keys jingle on a ring in his right hand. He looks through the ring searching for the right key, and jams it into the lock. The key wiggles around for a bit and the door slides open.
'You're next to swing," He laughs to himself. I try to shrink back into the corner but I can't. No, it hurts too much.
I've been whipped, burned, beaten and tortured. By now, death is a relief from this hellish life. I am a crumpled mess in a brown tunic on the floor, lying in my own blood and piss. He walks in and shouts at me.
"Get up!" The dungeon guard kicks me in the stomach. Every inch of my body cries out in pain, but I cannot scream myself. I am too weak, and every inch of my body is either bruised, broken, burned or bloodied. I hurt too much to even breathe. "Get up, you little bitch!" He drags me by my wrists and pulls me out to the courtyard…and the gallows.
I am propped up on a stool by the dungeon guard and the executioner, while the rough noose is wrapped around my neck and tightened.
Am I crying? I ask myself. I feel a single tear roll down my cheek. No, I can't. Stop it. Stop crying. No. I have to be strong. I try to raise up my chin, with all my strength. The most I can do is raise my eyes.
The stool is kicked out from under me. The rope tightens more and I feel a sharp pain in my neck. Death…is a blessing.
I am in a church. It appears familiar but I can't put a name on it. A clergyman prays at the altar. He is thin and quite old, and robed in crimson. He prays in a language I don't understand. I look up and see a painting of Christ on a wall. Since I have nothing better to do, I decided to do the most appropriate thing to do – pray.
I get on my knees and bless myself. I pray for James' safety, for Addie's salvation, along with Mother. I pray for Father's redemption, too, considering his final and ultimate sin. I pray for the people who have it worse than I do, and I pray for my own deliverance.
"God forgive me, for I have sinned…" I whispered. At this, the priest turned around, his robes billowing as he moved. When I look at his face, I know who he was: the abbot of Kirklees. So this would be Kirklees Abbey. He smiles at me and says:
"My child. Have you come for Reconciliation?"
I don't know what to say, so I nod my head. He sits down next to me in the pew. "What troubles you?" he asks.
"My-my family has died, Father. And-and I didn't know what to do. I ran away and stole my brother's clothes. I stole coins from a tax collector while he wasn't looking. And…" I can't say what I've done - stealing food, lying to myself about my future. No family in these times would want to adopt another child, especially at my age. True, a farmer would want another had, but not another mouth to feed.
"Tell me, child," answers the Abbot.
"I have sinned. I lied and stole food from a lord's manor-and-and now I'm going to hang for it. I was so selfish. I tried to keep myself alive when I had nothing to live for. I don't know why God keeps me here like this." I look at the floor in my guilt.
"God wants you to stay on this Earth for a reason." He smiles at me like Father did.
His face changes into that of my father's. He still smiles while his eyes try to look into mine. "My dear Ellie," He places his fingertips under my chin so I will meet his gaze. "Don't talk like that. Don't make the same mistakes I have. Don't be like me."
"I miss you so much, Father." I cry.
"Put away your tears, Ellie. This isn't good-bye,"
"But you died! I saw you fall!"
"I will see you again, my little Ellie."
Everything faded to black, and I was alone.