Declan POV
Im stupid. That's the only word that comes to mind is TOTALLY FUCKING STUPID. I honestly don't know whats gotten into me lately. I could blame it on the new job, or the constant flirting of my wifes partner, but honesty Im the blame. Im stupid, an idiot, and to make it worse it seems like I just can't quit being a duecebag to the one person I truly care about.
I had promised to love and cherished my wife, my precious Olivia and all I did was hurt her. I saw to pain in her eyes, the fear I had never seen before. It was like a fucking knife through my heart, I was so scared of myself and for myself. Because how could I be so angry and do such a horrible thing, and possibly loose the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Why... That's the only thing that has been going through my mind since that night. Why had I been so angry, so jealous, and so mean? After all these years of Olivia being by my side, not only as a good, loving wife, but also a faithful submissive. What had happened to make me so insecure not only in my wife and marriage, but myself too?
I had to fix this, fix it all before I loose everything that is important to me because I ROYALLY FUCKED UP!
Regular POV.
The car ride from the precicnt to their home was very tense for Declan and Olivia. Only thing that could be heard was their stiff breathing and the city. Every once in awhile Declan would glance over to Olivia and try to get a read on her but her face remained blank and emotionaless, he was starting to get a really bad feeling about how tonight would end.
Olivia was also thinking about what tonight would bring. She was scared that she had really fucked up. But she also was really confused. Confused on what she did, how is she in the wrong, and why the hell is she feeling so guilty? Olivia badly wanted to express these quetions but was afraid that she would get the cold shoulder or even worse, his cold hand to her backside. She shuddered even thinking abou any event concerning Declans hand and her backside.
"Are you cold? I could turn up the heat…." Declan said with concern. Olivia jumped startled when Declans voice cut through the thick air.
"Uh…no Im ok, thanks." Olivia said as she glanced at Declan hoping to get a read on his emotions. As they came to a red light, Declan turned to Olivia and grabbed her hand and pulled it to his mouth and whispered "If your cold, ill turn on the heat, love."
Olivia gave a small smile and said I am a little cold. And Declan gently let go of her hand and turned on the heat as the light turned green and the ride had continued and felt less tense. She couldn't help but feel her heart melt a little as she heard the warmth and conceren in his voice. Maybe tonight won't be so bad, she thought, having no idea Declan was thinking the same thing.
Close to the end of the care ride Declan had turned on the radio and a song had came on and it made both of them listen because the lyrics spoke to them in a weird way.
"Take me down
I'm feeling now
And if I move on
I admit you're gone
And I ain't ready
And I'll hold steady
Yeah I'll hold you in my arms
In my arms, in my arms
And you're locked inside my heart
And your melody's an art
And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time
Through the eye of the needle
Step and repeat
Tears fall to the beat
Smile through the pain
Feel the acid rain
And I ain't ready
But I'll hold steady
Yeah I'll hold you in my arms
In my arms, in my arms
And you're locked inside my heart
And your melody's an art
And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time
Through the eye of the needle
My bags heavy
Been filled by me
They weigh me down
Carry them 'round
It's all mine all mine
I am blinded by the eye of the needle
And you're locked inside my heart
And your melody's an art
And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time
Through the eye of the needle
Eye of the needle
And you're locked inside my heart
And your melody's an art
And I won't let the terror in, I'm stealing time
Through the eye of the needle"
Even though their both not ready, as this ride slowly makes an end to their drive way, where they have layed their heads, hearts and souls, for many years. They both took a deep breath and simotaniously glanced at each other and made their way out of the car and to the front door. Declan slowly took his time to unlock the door to get his finale thoughts together, as was Olivia. It felt like someone had died, as they enter the house that was usually filled with warmth and love, felt so cold and lonely. Olivia flicked on the lights of the living room and they both sat on oppisite ends of the couch and slowly looked up to meet each others eye both thinking the same thing.
And I ain't ready
But I'll hold steady