So... *nervous chuckle * Here is the first of THREE updates. I will post another tomorrow and Monday. So, trust me and have patience, that is all I ask. Oh, and that you enjoy.

Thank you to Darcysmom for and AngelycDevil for commenting and a few other amazing friends that have encouraged me and supported me as I got these chapters just right for you guys.

Enjoy!

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I held her close as snarls and screams rang out around us. I rocked her as I tried to ignore the burning in my throat and the smell of her blood. I wanted to lick her and somehow heal all her wounds, and turn her back into the pretty Bella that I left behind. Even in her frail and injured state, she was still beautiful.

I wanted to erase all of these months that separated us, all of the hurt, all the words I should have never said to her. I wanted to run my fingers over every spot covered in blood,wipe it all away, and make her better.

She was in my arms, safe and sound, and still it didn't feel real. The moment felt empty. But I pushed that aside and finally tore my gaze from my love and looked around us. I noticed small fires with body parts thrown in them. The other vampire that had addressed me earlier stood in the middle of it all,stared at me and said nothing.

It was like looking back at a mirror image of myself, only he was wilder and unkempt. His hair was just as unruly as mine, his blue shirt was torn and barely staying on him. His brown trousers were wrinkled and had smudges up and down them. His shoes were missing the shoe laces and scuffed up. He looked like he was falling apart from the inside.

And yet no one, not one member of my family bothered with him while they tore numerous other vampires apart. He just stood there and did nothing as his comrades fell.

I looked back down at Bella as I held her closer and kissed her cheek as softly as I could. Her eyes were closed, her chest rose and fell with short, tight breaths as her hand held tightly on to the front of my shirt and she whispered softly, "You were never supposed to leave me."

Any apologies that I could give her seemed so small and not enough to cover the hurt I caused the both of us.

"You are right, my love. Completely right. The moment I left you, I should have turned around and begged for you to take me back. That is my regret and one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. I only hope you can forgive me." I said and then kissed her on the lips so softly, so sweetly.

My family joined us, encircling us in case anyone else wanted to cause us harm. I slowly tried to stand up with her in my arms, but her screams quickly put an end to that. I sat back down and laid her down softly on the ground again so Carlisle could look her over. Then we could get a better idea on how to transport her to our house.

Carlisle softly ran his fingers up her ribs as he listened to her breathing and heartbeat. He got to the middle of her rib cage when he abruptly stopped taking inventory and looked down at her, his eyes full of love. "What was that, my dear daughter?"

Bella continued to whisper, her eyes remained closed. "He must not leave me again. He can't ever leave me. I was empty. So empty. He can't leave.. never leave me." She sobbed, a tear fell to the ground as she took in a sharp intake of breath. "It wasn't fair to have to watch him walk away."

Every word of hers crucified me, slowly and tortuously. Just what all had I put my love through? Her admission of watching me walk away was driving a stake through my chest slowly, allowing it to penetrate my heart. Even though I knew I couldn't die, the pain of her pain, her words were slowly killing me inside, and I deserved it all. Every last bit of it.

Carlisle finished taking inventory of her injuries, and thought she had only superficial wounds, no broken ribs, but definitely a broken leg. It was the same leg she had broke when we saved her from James in Phoenix. He quickly went about making a splint using a few twigs and strips of fabric torn from his shirt. Once we had her leg stabilized, we decided to send Emmett home to get the Jeep, and we would transport her that way. It seemed easier and less traumatizing than me carrying her and running through the forest. It would take longer, but it would be less painful in the long run.

I sat in the back with Bella, her head on my lap as I soothingly ran my fingers through her hair, lulling her to sleep. It had been so long since I had watched over her as she slept, as if I was some guardian angel of the night. Her breaths were shallow as she was pulled deeper into her sleep, and I counted every one of them along with her precious heartbeats. Her little fist would tighten around as they clenched my shirt every now and then as we drove on. I wasn't sure if it was her dreams or my presence that was causing the restlessness in her. I simply hoped it wasn't me.

"We're home," I whispered, my lips gently touching her ear. She stirred and opened her eyes, blinking rapidly to awake fully.

She gave me the sweetest of smiles then, like the one she gave me as I showed up at her door for prom. She radiated with happiness as she slowly made her way down the stairs in her cast. She was the most precious thing in my life. Past, present and future.

Carlisle helped me carry her in so I wouldn't jostle her too much. Esme and Alice hurried to Carlisle and Esme's room to situate the bed for Bella, seeing as how I still didn't have one in mine. I would have to get on that.

Jasper sent waves of calm out to her as he hoped it would ease her discomfort as we laid her down. We did so, ever so gently. She didn't let out sound, she just looked around the room, her eyes slowly falling on each family member, but her gaze avoided me.

That hurt. How could such a small thing hurt so damn much?

Her gaze lingered on the window as she stayed quiet. I had so much I wanted to say, but couldn't bring myself to say any of them. The words just wouldn't come out.

As I walked towards the bathroom, I sighed, unsure of where to go from here. I grabbed a basin from under the sink, along with a few washcloths, body wash, and a dry towel. As I looked at myself in the mirror, my mind flashed back to that lone vampire that stood in the middle of everything and stared at me as I held on to my love.

I was him.

We were one and the same. My blue shirt was torn in the same places, my pants smudged in the same areas, and as I looked down at my shoes, I had no shoe laces.

He was me.

I stood there and stared, willing my reflection to change. But it didn't. I was just as dirty as that lone vampire.

I was him.

Somewhere along the way I'd become what I hated the most. Leaving her allowed the monster to break free from me. I was everything I thought I would never let myself be. I broke my love, and in the process I broke myself.

With the basin full of water, I made my way back to her. She was still quiet and unmoving. I dunked the washcloth into the warm water and wrung out the excess as I slowly went to work cleaning the dried blood off of her. Once she was free of blood stains, I brushed her hair softly, ridding it of debris that still lingered, but not once did she look at me. Her eyes were empty and cold. But she was there deep down, I could sense it.

Darkness had begun to creep into the window and chased away all the daylight. I watched as the fading rays danced across her skin. I yearned to run my fingers over every sliver of skin shown to me. My arms ached with the feeling of wanting to hold her, cradle her as she remained quiet. My lips burned with the need to kiss her, but I would deny myself until she let me know she was okay with me, with us again. I'd wait as long as it took.

My family didn't disturb us for the better part of week, and for that I was grateful. Esme brought my angel food and any necessities she would need. I didn't want to leave her side at all. I wanted all the time I could get alone with her. I didn't realize before now how much I missed and needed it.

She had taken a bath and returned to bed, when things changed. I watched as darkness descended on the room when the quietest of whispers broke the silence that surrounded us.

"I want to be happy, and I want to love, Edward. But it hurts, it hurts deep in my soul," she whispered to me as she pointed to her chest while she faced me as we laid side by side. "It hurts so bad right here, right inside. I can't fix it, I'm broken. I don't have the pieces to put myself back together again. They are lost, long gone." My hands balled into fists as my disappointment in myself overtook me.

I pulled her against me so she could face me. "The reason you can't put yourself back together again is because I took those pieces when they weren't mine to take. It's my job to put you together, just like it's my job to make you whole. It's my job to love you, cherish you like I should have done, should always do. You hold my heart, Bella. You always have, always will. We will heal each other, love each other for the rest of our days. Bella," I said, kissing her forehead, "Our souls are one. I believe that now after everything. My one regret in this life is I never saw that when it was so easy to see; just right in front of my eyes begging to be realized." My lips brushed against hers. She lets out a small gasp of surprise. In that moment, that kiss was everything to me. It was the promise of something more. A promise of a future we could build.

She pulled me on top of her. It was a boundary we never dared to cross before, but I was thankful for it now as she cradled me, pushing my head down on to her chest, her heartbeat drumming steadily in my ear. I closed my eyes as I counted the beats. I matched my breaths to hers as I tried to get closer to her. She held me, and that simple gesture meant the world to me. I've never truly been held before.

Her fingers tugged and pulled at my hair as she ran her hand through my unruly locks, forcing me to look up at her. "You are apart of my soul, the very best part. I think you always have been, maybe even before I was born. I was meant to love you, Edward. You were meant to find me. We were meant find our soul's other half. Despite what you have always thought, Edward. You always had a soul. Only I had your missing piece." Her voice came out soft and loving, the truth of her words hitting me square in the chest as a sob escaped me and all my walls fell and shattered.

And I gave in, I gave into everything.

My lips met hers and molded perfectly against hers. Her lips tasted like the sweetest honey with a tint of strawberry laced in. It was heaven and hell, a perfect, tortuous balance as her hands roamed my body and slipped under clothes, the heat of her touch scorching me.

Clothes were shed agonizingly slow. I gazed down upon her and took in every piece of her creamy skin, kissing every available surface. Soft moans and sighs infiltrated my ears when I dragged my fingers down to her apex and found her ready and wet for me. It surprised me; I never expected my body to have such an impact on her like it was. I never wanted to give in to such thoughts before, but I wanted to give her everything now. She deserved all that I could give, and should have given before.

Her warm legs wrapped around my waist as she pulled me closer and caused my member to graze her wetness. I looked into her chocolate pools, that were so wide and deep as I slowly pushed in and past the barrier that made her solely mine. She gasped, her mouth opened wider as soft pants filled the room. I took my time moving deeper within her. It was a beautiful thing to watch her fall over the edge of her pleasure. All my walls that previously held everything out seemed so senseless now. It was all worth it. I soon followed with a guttural growl as I came, my lips ghosting across her neck as my teeth grazed her skin and sunk into the soft flesh. It was then that I noticed the smell of blood, and my world titled.

It was stronger than it had ever been before.

The taste of her coated my tongue, droplets of her precious life force fell from my chin. I brought my hands up to my face to wipe my mouth, noticing the blood that I had smelled and tasted was real. my world exploded as my hands searched over every bit of her. When my eyes settled on her neck, her breaths were shallow and slow, her pulse was low and fading.

And then, she was gone.

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So.. umm, errrr PLEASE TRUST ME! HAVE PATIENCE AND REMEMEBER I PROMISED AN HEA FOR E AND B. ;)

And if you want to find me: myheroin1 on twitter.

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