As I promised, another update. In this one you guys will FINALLY know just about everything now. No more twists after this one. I do hope it was worth the wait. Not many of you have guessed it, only two so far. I do hope it isn't a predictable one.

So with that said, Thank you Darcysmom for beta'ing, and AngelcDevil and a few other friends for comments and making these chapters perfect for you guys.

Enjoy!

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My arms were frantically searching for her. I grabbed at anything and everything I could and came up with nothing. The crimson staining my lips intensified in taste as it slowly moved down my throat as I stared down at her, watching her chest as I willed it to move. I bent down, my ear hovered over her mouth.

Nothing.

Silence.

Bella!

I sobbed as I tried to push my cold breath into her, forcing whatever form of life I could give her. My hands carefully pushed down on her chest as I tried to will her heart to beat as she grew colder and farther away from me.

Every moment that I had ever spent with her flashed through my mind, and everything I still had yet to do with her. I wanted to graduate with her, go to college, share a house. Marry her. I wanted everything, and now because of what I did, I would never have it.

I pulled the blankets up around her and held her tight to my body as I hummed her lullaby and rocked her softly. With each new start of her song, I would whisper how much I loved her, would always love her, and how sorry I was. That I wanted forever with her, that I hated the monster inside of me for taking her away.

Edward!

Her hair was fanned out over my arm and down on to the bed. It was such a beautiful contrast between the white sheets and her lovely, brown hair. I laid her back down, my fingers brushing across every available surface.

She would always be my Bella. There would never be another. In my head plans of going to the Volturi and begging for death were now forming. I simply could not live in a world where she didn't exist. There was no point in trying. She WAS my world. She WAS everything.

EDWARD!

Something in my chest felt like it had been zapped, just like it was every time that Bella would touch me and the electric charge between us would heighten.

EDWARD, GOD DAMN IT!

My hands straightened out the blankets one last time. I kissed each of her eyes, then her nose, and lastly her lips. I breathed her in one last time, hoping somehow that some venom had entered the wound in her neck. But with no heartbeat, I knew it was a false hope.

It was then that I decided that I would go on with my plan. I bid her one last kiss, told her I loved her and ran as fast as I could away from her, the house, and my family. I was sure they would follow soon and stop me. It wasn't worth it to grace this earth anymore, not when she wasn't in it.

Before I knew it, I was back in Seattle. I made my way into SeaTac International Airport, grabbed my credit card for the last time, and purchased a flight to Italy. I ignored any and all thoughts as I made my way through security and towards my gate, the daze I placed myself in overtook me. My thoughts only on Bella, and my hopes that I would some how be redeemed enough to see her in Heaven. As I sat down and waited for the flight to board, I even doubted that. I was going to Hell for what I had done.

After all, I deserved it.

I flashed my passport and boarding pass at the stewardess before I took my seat on the final flight of my life. My eyes scanned the passengers as I held my breath. It was too many heartbeats all at once. Their thoughts mixed in with their pounding heartbeats overtook all of my senses as I clenched my eyes shut in the hopes that somehow I could block everything out and make it to Italy to beg for my death.

Hours passed, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had decided enough was enough. All of their thoughts, smells and heartbeats was just too much for me in such a small and confined space after everything that has happened. If I was gonna go to hell, then I might as well make it worth it. I wasn't going to see Bella. Heaven wouldn't permit me through it's precious gates. I knew my only place was condemned to a Hell, if there was one. I stood up and headed towards one of the lavatory in disguise that I was going to the bathroom. Every passenger that I walked passed became more inviting than the last, their pulse points throbbing with fresh blood as strong, steady heartbeats pumped the inviting liquid through their bodies.

I snapped and lunged forward to a wide-eyed blonde girl with pure blue eyes, my hand reached for her throat as I pulled her up to me, my lips so close to the precious, sweet spot on her neck. So very close, I could taste the sweet nectar already.

You don't want to do that, son!

My eyes searched for the voice, a body flickered in and out in front of me. An outline at first, nothing solid as my lips softly brushed against the young woman's neck, my teeth coated in venom, ready to strike.

The body became a solid form as I felt a tug at the middle of my chest of familiarity.

Carlisle?

How could he be here? He wasn't on board before we departed. He can't be here! It isn't possible!

My hands frantically began to pull at my hair, my breathing became more wild as my eyes took in Carlisle again. Not possible.

Carlisle's hands reached out for me as he pulled me towards him, pushing the young girl from my grasp as he shook me as hard as he could.

EDWARD!

SON!

GOD DAMN IT, EDWARD! COME BACK TO US!

I felt the electric pulse move through me again as I jolted forward, no longer was I in a crowded airplane cabin, full of tempting human blood, but somewhere that was familiar, but not home.

It was like a film had been removed from my eyes, everything was blurry at first, but slowly and surely my vision began to clear. My eyes felt like they had been closed for a long time. I blinked a few more times to get my eyesight to adjust as Carlisle came into my view.

"My son." He said reverently as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I tried to talk, but nothing would come out. My voice was scratchy and dull to not using it as much. I forced out a weak Bella as I looked up to my father and hoped he would understand.

He let out a long sigh. "Bella is fine. Everything is fine."

I don't understand. She was just with me, I had killed her. I don't understand.

"Edward, calm down. I promise you, she is fine." Carlisle softly spoke as he continued to run his hands through my hair, calming me. "It is February seventh. The family and I have been here since January twenty-eighth. You left Forks in September."

I shook my head back and forth, not wanting to believe what he had just told me. That can't be right. None of this can't be right. I had to be back in Forks. I had to be with Bella. My eyes shot around the room. I noticed all of my family, but I also saw the same walls and windows of the attic I was in all those months ago. Or really the same attic I never left.

But how did all that happen? How am I here and not there? Or am I there and not here?

"Stop stressing yourself, Edward. Calm down. Again, I promise, Bella is okay. In fact, I will get her on the phone as soon as we get you fed."

I gulped, my throat dry and coarse as I felt the pang of hunger hit me at the mention of being fed. How long has it been since I last fed? Can't have been that long, can it?

"Emmett is going to go out and grab something for you, drain it and place it in a flask so you can drink it. That way we won't rouse any suspicion from the locals. I want to get your strength up before moving you. Is that okay with you, Edward? Do you feel okay with that?"

I nodded, still feeling puzzled and lost as I watched Emmett leave through the attic window under the cloak of the darkness. The wait wasn't long. I tried to sit up on my own, but surprisingly found myself too weak to even move. Carlisle grabbed the flask from Emmett, placed his arm under my head to hold me up so I could drink. It wasn't at all like Bella's blood I had tasted. It was gamier, not as sweet. I forced myself to swallow, and with each swallow I slowly started to feel more and more like myself.

My family remained standing along the far wall. I noticed Esme first, her face was full of worry, her eyes held love. Jasper had his arms around Esme and Alice as he nodded and smiled at me. Rose avoided my gaze as Emmett returned to her side. It felt good to see them, and right, but the one person that I needed the most wasn't here.

"B-bella?" I croaked, imploring Carlisle to to tell me anything and everything. "Please? Where? Bella?"

Carlisle handed the flask back to Emmett as he left again to get some more. I secretly hoped for panther or another big cat this time. Anything but what he had brought before. "We will call her as soon as we get you sorted. I want you to drink a bit more. You barely have a voice as it is."

I drank four more flasks of blood by the time I had a enough energy to sit up and have my voice back. My hands flexed as I felt the need to run, to get to Bella, but I knew that it would have to wait. I needed answers, and from the look I was receiving from Carlisle, he did as well.

With my back up against the wall, my knees pulled up to my chest, I told them everything. How I had left this attic, gone to Forks, and all that I had found there. How Forks was empty and all of the people were gone. Bella and Charlie included. I searched my pockets, hoping I still had the paper that I thought her note was on and her phone, but came up empty. Carlisle shot me a quizzical look then, and I told him how I found things of hers, the phone calls with her begging me to find her. The search of the school, the Swan's house and the town. Even the pathetic wolve's and how they were dead. I then told my family how I had just found Bella and had her back in my arms, that we had made love, I bit her and killed her, which was obviously not the truth anymore, as Carlisle said she was safe and back in Forks.

I let out a sob as I finished my story. Esme quickly rushed to my side, figuring it was safe to be around me, and held me as she kissed the top of my head, soothing me as only a mother could.

Carlisle's eyes held a softness to them as he watched Esme dote on me. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly. He let out a long and slow sigh as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, a mannerism I obviously learned from him.

"I think it is safe to say that you simply hallucinated it, or in a way dreamed it all. You haven't fed for a long time." Carlisle said, his voice tighter. "It pains me to know that you went through all of this alone. A hurt I couldn't save you from. You missing Bella and wanting her as much as you did drove you to hallucinate all that you had. You created your own world inside your head, a world you longed for. All you wanted and needed was Bella."

Everything that had torn me apart all these months was a hallucination? All of my hopes and fears, simply were a hallucination? As I stared into my Father's eyes, the truth began to settle in me. I think deep down I knew it all along. The times when Jasper would refute something I found, Carlisle brushing the wolves off. All of things I had found of Bella's that later turned out to be nothing, I think, deep down was my conscience telling me that even then this was all in my head.

I had hallucinated it all.

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So, there it is. I hope none of you expected this. This has been my plan all along. I believe that even in the books it is said that if a vampire refuses to feed or move, eventually he will lose his mind. I hope I did this justice.

Anxious for your thoughts. And again, thank you for reading, following and adding to your favorites, not to mention reviewing. I am still in shock over how many of you truly like this story of mine.

I am on twitter if you'd like to find me: atmyheroin1