You guys blew me away with how much you liked the last chapter and were not expecting it. That twist had been my plan all along, and I went back and forth on changing it and making it more, but it was this one that had stuck with me and demanded to be. And I will say I am sorry to those that didn't like it, and wanted something more and are disappointed in it. I agonized over these last 3 chapters, especially chapter 19. My anxiety about that reveal was through the roof. I hope you continue to read, only 6 more chapters and epilogue left.

Thank you to Darcysmom for betaing, AngelycDevil and a few other friends for comments and pushing me to write. And you guys, I can't thank you enough!

Enjoy!

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So does this mean I am crazy now? That I have truly lost it? Will I ever be right for Bella?

"If I hallucinated it all, that still doesn't explain how I smelled her and tasted her blood. How I could hear her voice. I know deep down inside me, Carlisle, that at least that much was real. My soul knows."

I watched him nod and look off, deep in thought. "Since when did you think you had a soul?"

"Since I left Bella, I think, and experienced my first true heartbreak, even if it was my own doing."

"Well, I am glad you are finally admitting that you have one. You had one all along, you just needed to realize that for yourself. As for your questions, before I answer them, I want you to know that I wavered on doing what I did, but in the end it was the best course of action, okay?"

I nodded and waved for him to continue.

"You could smell and taste her for a simple reason. We have a shirt of hers, and vial of her blood that we collected when we went back to Forks." Carlisle said as he stood up and began to pace the room and tugged at his hair every few steps. I never noticed before how many mannerisms I seemed to have picked up from Carlisle until now.

"You see, when you left and forced us to leave, it broke everything, not just you." He let out long, deep sigh. "You made Alice promise to not search for her, but things don't always work out the way you want them to, no matter how hard you try. I want you to know we didn't look for her, and really, Alice didn't even get a good sense of where you were until about a month or so ago. You leaving shattered everything."

I hung my head like a proper chastised child. I had nothing to say. What could I have said? I brokenly whispered, "I know, I realize that now. Please, continue."

He didn't have to say it, I could see it all in his head. Alice calling Carlisle, worrying over Bella and the state of her. The vision she had of Bella in Port Angeles and her relaying what she saw to Carlisle, my sister's quiet sobs coming through the phone, asking and begging Carlisle to at least check on Bella. They eventually did, from what I saw in Carlisle's mind. They went to see her shortly during during Christmas break. In his mind, Bella looked so broken, a shell of her former self. Her hair looked limp, her beautiful, brown eyes looked distant and cold. She even looked smaller, like she had lost weight while I was gone.

"So you see, it isn't just you that was affected. When we left that time, I promised her that I would make everything better to the best of my abilities. That you guys are mated, and meant to be. I don't think she believed me and I think even after our second visit she still didn't believe me. She told me on that first visit that it never made sense for you to love her. Son, that broke me, how she thought she wasn't worthy of your love. I told her you loved her, and each time I said it, her eyes got surprisingly more dull. Only you, and you alone can heal that girl."

A sob escaped me as images from my family hit me from their second visit. They all visited her then, even Rosalie. I picked from Esme's mind the events of the last visit.

We had just arrived in Forks late at night. Charlie was working overnight, so Alice decided that it should be her that goes to get Bella. Alice brought Bella back to the house shortly after.

"It feels so weird being back here. I don't think I can even look at it the same, Alice."

Alice put an arm around her and held her closer as they walked inside the house. The house looked the same as it did when I left. Only white covers covered the furniture. They all sat down, the silence taking over.

"I made you a promise, Bella, and I can happily say that I've upheld that promise. Alice had a vision of Edward in Brazil. She thinks Rio de Janeiro. She saw a receipt with the date October 17th, and the name of a rental company, along with a possible house address. We plan to head there shortly after we leave here to go and look for him. We WILL find him, my daughter, I promise that much." Bella's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Carlisle calling her daughter as she looked back down and continued to pick at her jeans.

Esme sat next to her and held her close. "I don't want to ask anything of you, because you certainly owe us nothing, but.." Esme sighed and ran her hands down Bella's hair gently. "We ask if you could give us a shirt with your scent, and a vial of blood, just in case. Alice only had one vision, and since then absolutely nothing. Carlisle fears he may be losing it and has refused to fed."

Bella nods and stood up to take off her over shirt, her hand kept the undershirt, a tank top on. She handed it to Esme, who then puts it into a plastic bag. She turned towards Carlisle. "I will do anything you need me to do if it means you could bring him back. I just want him better, whether it's with me or without me." She held out her arm for Carlisle. "Please take as much as you want. You know I'd do anything for Edward."

"We left Seattle shortly after that and flew down to Rio. We searched, and it took us a few days to find you. Your scent had long since faded, and from the looks of things when we entered this house, you hadn't left it for months. No tracks were left that we could go on. It was pure chance that this turned out to be the house address that was in Alice's vision, and the right one at that." Carlisle spoke up again, his arms were around Esme.

By then, Alice had come and sat down next to me, her arms hesitantly moved around my shoulders so she could hold me close as she began to talk. "We walked in here and you were lifeless. Not breathing or moving. Your eyes were open, unblinking. If I didn't know you were a Vampire, I'd have thought you dead. I couldn't get a read off of you. You are still wearing the same outfit as the one you left Forks in." She kissed my cheek and handed me some new, clean clothes.

Alice looked back up at Carlisle and nodded, their thoughts hidden from me. "I knew that deep down you were still in there somewhere, I just had to figure out a way to bring you out of it. We talked to you, all of us, of memories we had of you and Bella. And then I got desperate. I decided to lay Bella's shirt down under your head, in the hopes that if you smelled her, then you would wake up. That obviously didn't work. I wavered back and forth on opening the vial of her blood, but it was her blood you drank that eventually started to wake you up. I guess desperate times calls for drastic measures."

It made sense, all the times I smelled her, tasted her. But I still couldn't shake the fact that I still heard her, that her voice was real, even throughout my hallucination. And so I asked about that, and Carlisle again said that he had called her those times that I had heard her voice, he had hoped that once I heard my mates voice that I would come out of it. He told me that she would tell me she loved me, missed me, needed me. One phone call, he said she went on to tell me how broken she was without me.

I never should have left her.

I stood up and carefully made my way to Carlisle and flung myself into his arms. As I hugged my father, for he was in every sense of the word to me, I felt nothing but thankful that the family never gave up on me and found me, bringing me out of my madness.

As much as I wanted to be mad that they had broken a promise to me, I was anything but. I was glad that they had gone back to Bella when they did. I would do anything I could to earn my spot back in this family, and never will I ask them to make such a promise again.

I vowed as Carlisle held me, and soon Esme, that I would piece this family together again. It didn't matter if it took centuries, but I would fix what I had broken. I only hope that the girl I left behind would be willing to forgive me and all that I had put her through.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard paper crinkling. Alice had a somewhat faded square piece of paper in her hands. She smoothed it out, before she started to read it. I took a glance at her mind and saw the October 17th date and address flash across her thoughts as she handed the paper off to Carlisle.

"It is exactly the same piece of paper that I saw in my vision, Carlisle."

"I have a theory about why this date stayed with you in your hallucination, Edward. I think this is the last date you were actually functioning, and barely at that. This is a rental receipt showing you made a payment that day, and from the looks of it, payed up for a year. You planned to stay, and never leave. So, I think that day was the day you laid down and lost sight of everything. I think that was the beginning of the hallucination. I don't know when you last fed, but that played a part in it. You starved yourself, you wanted to punish yourself for breaking Bella's heart. The less you fed, and moved, the more your mind caved in on itself as you grew weaker from not feeding, and your own broken heart took over. Make sense?"

I thought back to my last, I guess you could say, lucid memory. I remembered leaving this place and meeting the old Brazilian lady on the outskirts of town and handing her cash for my stay. I told her I didn't want to be bothered, and that my payment should be more than enough. My walk home that night was a blur, it was dark, and I was completely lost in my thoughts. I don't remember walking into the door and coming up to the attic to lay down. All I remember is Bella, my last thoughts of her walking after me, and trying to catch up when I said those hurtful words and left.

"Yeah, it makes sense, maybe even more so now that you said that. I had essentially given up, I suppose. When I could no longer track Victoria, and feeling like a failure with that, I came here. I didn't feel like it was worth it, that I couldn't live with my regrets. But now, with you guys here and Bella back in Forks- I want to make it better. I want to deserve her."

Eventually, silence descended on us. Carlisle sat on a chair, thinking of the next course of action, while the rest all wanted to get back home, and Esme and Alice wanted to see Bella. I only wanted Bella, but I wanted to feel whole for her before I returned home. The hallucination of me killing her, and drinking her blood was still fresh in my mind. I needed to hold her, feel her to know she was completely okay. I didn't want just Carlisle's word for it.

A short time later Carlisle handed me his phone, Bella's phone number already pulled up. I sat there and stared at the small phone while I wondered just what I would say. I doubt anything could make up for all these months. I wasn't even sure of what to say, my mind was empty.

My siblings minds on the other hand were all shouting at me to just call her and for the first time since I woke up from my hallucination, I was truly afraid of something.

With nervous hands, I pushed call and with each ring my nervousness grew.

"Hello? Carlisle? Is he alright? Tell me he is okay and that you found him?" The soft voice of my angel said. It astounded me that her first thoughts were of me. She sounded so tired and worried, I wanted to alleviate all of that.

"It's not Carlisle, love." I said as I hoped she wouldn't hate me for calling her love.

A sob came through the phone as I listened to her cry and whisper, "Oh God, they found him. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you. Are you okay, Edward? You sound so, I don't know, tired."

"I'm okay, Bella, I promise. It's been an ordeal. I promise to make this all up to you if you'll let me."

"Don't even worry about that right now. I just want you to come back to me. Get better, and just come back to me, please."

"I will, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that, Edward"

"Please do. I, um...I love you, Bella."

"And I you. I never stopped."

As I clicked end, my whole being felt lighter than it ever had before.

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Thank you guys for reading and sticking with me. It truly means a lot! I will try and update hopefully by next weekend. Only 6 chapters and an epilogue left. And then I will finish my other WIP, and I may have a few more stories up my sleeves.

Thank you, and as always I look forward to see what you thought of today's update.