Chapter 19

Marcus stormed into the dining room and tore the paper out of Nikolas's hands. "Where is she?"

"Could you be a more specific?" Nikolas calmly took a drink of his coffee. "I mean she could be anyone."

"Robin. Where is she?" Marcus stood in front of Nikolas waiting for an answer.

"Still in her room I would guess. I took breakfast up to her 30 minutes ago." Nikolas was helping Robin avoid Marcus so she could clear her head. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to escort Robin to the hospital."

"I'm afraid that I have to disagree – Robin isn't going in to work today." Marcus was trying to reassert his power but he failed.

"Actually I had a long talk with my grandmother last night and we agreed that Robin needs to be at the hospital with no distractions, including you. I have been able to secure an office at the hospital to do some work for the board so I will be Robin's escort for the time being. You will be working with Jerry here at Wyndamere." Nikolas stood up. "I am going to go get Robin and I will see you later."

"This isn't over Cassadine."

Nikolas walked away from the man. "Yes, it is."

"Are you ready for this?" Nikolas and Robin stood in front of his office. "If you have changed your mind…"

"No, if I am going to have any sort of a life – I need to do this." Robin opened the door and stepped into the office.

Nikolas hugged her. "It's going to be okay. I'll be back in an hour."

Robin nodded and opened up the door and saw Patrick waiting on the couch. Once Nikolas had confirmed that Patrick did not know about Robin's whereabouts she had agreed to meet with him and discuss what had happened since she had last left him.

Patrick stood up and walked over to her. "I'm so glad you're here." He walked her over to the couch and helped her sit down. "Is it okay that I sit here with you or would you rather I sit on this chair or…"

Robin shook her head and laughed. "Patrick, would you please sit down next to me?"

Patrick sat down and smiled at her. "I don't know why I am so nervous, we've sat down next to each other how many times?"

"I know." Robin took a deep breath. "Why don't I just jump right in – when did you give up on us?"

Patrick was shocked. "Robin, I never gave up on us."

Robin rolled her eyes. "The divorce papers you sent me tell a different story."

"Those divorce papers were a mistake." Patrick took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Robin, I was so hurt when you didn't come home after the accident. It wasn't just that Gabriel was dying, our daughter was hurt too - not badly but she was still hurt and you still chose to be with Jason rather than home with us."

"Patrick, I didn't have a choice – Victor wouldn't let me leave." Tears filled her eyes as she began to understand a little bit where Patrick was coming from.

"I know that now but back then, Robin, all I knew was I was hurting and you weren't here and refused to come home." Patrick took Robin's hands in his. "Maybe if I hadn't been so distracted by everything that was going on I would have figured it out but my son was dying and I could only think about that."

"Patrick," Robin choked on her tears, "I am so sorry about Gabriel. It's all my fault."

"Robin, no, I don't blame you." Patrick lifted her face until he was looking her straight in the eyes. "You did everything Victor said and he did that anyway just to show you his power. He murdered my son, not you and I need to make sure you understand that."

"But if I hadn't gone with him than Victor wouldn't have…"

Patrick sighed. "Then Victor would have taken you by force and he would have done the same thing to keep you in line. Robin, I have had a lot of time to think about this and I need you to hear me – you are not to blame for Gabriel's death and no one is blaming you except you."

Patrick maintained eye contact with his ex-wife. "Robin, I was in a fog after that accident. The only way I could even move on was to focus on finding out who caused it so that's what I did. I focused almost all my energy on finding whoever did it and making sure they paid for it and, between that and taking care of Emma, I didn't have time to think about you and you're not being here for me."

"And Sam was?" Robin was not accusing him of anything, just filling in the blanks.

"Yes, she helped with the investigation and was there for me when I was suspended from work following Rafe's death. We spent a lot of time together and we got close. I guess I convinced myself that if you wanted to be with Jason instead of your family than I should be with Sam."

"It wasn't like that – I didn't choose Jason over you." Robin couldn't believe that they were still having the same argument after all these years.

"It felt like you had and then when you told me he had died and you still stayed there anyway, a bullet to the heart would have hurt me less than hearing those words." Patrick noticed that she looked away from him when he mentioned Jason. "I'm not trying to upset you."

Robin shook her head and looked back at him. She still couldn't tell anyone the truth about what had happened with Jason - that she had actually saved him and he had escaped. "You're not."

"The truth is that by that point, I was so focused on what was happening to me I completely missed what was happening to you. Thinking back I can see all the signs, your refusal to look me in the eyes, the way you were trying to get me out of there and the disappointment in your eyes when you realized that I wasn't there for you." Patrick bit his lip and the tears came. "I needed to believe the worst about you so I could justify the divorce and moving on and I am so sorry about that. And that night, when I got in touch with you on Skype, and you told me you were broken…" Patrick's voice broke remembering that call.

"I just wish I had demanded you told me where you were but my own selfishness got in the way. I should have known that you wouldn't leave Emma by choice and when I found out Helena was alive…" he found himself having a harder and harder time finishing his sentences, "I am just so sorry. I love you and I will do anything to earn your trust again."

"I know you are and I love you too but you need to understand why it is so hard for me to trust you again." Robin took a deep breath. "When I left with Victor, you told me you would wait for me and you would love me forever. Less than three months later, you were drawing up divorce papers and ready to walk away without a second thought. You truly believed that I would ignore the pain you and Emma were in for Jason and I started to wonder just how well you knew me. I prayed that you would realize something was wrong but you didn't. When you showed up at the clinic I thought for sure you would know something wasn't right but you turned your back on me and walked away."

"The night you got through to me on Skype, I was given a script and told exactly what to say. There were cameras in the house, people watching you, ready to strike if I said the wrong thing. I was given the papers to sign and then taken away someplace, I still don't know where, and locked away again. Not long after that they started bringing me pictures of you and Sam together, telling me that you had not only moved on but that you knew where I was and decided I wasn't worth saving. You had yourself a nice, healthy woman and she could give you the life I never could." Robin's tears flowed freely.

"Robin I…"

"Please, just let me finish. When you told me you knew I hadn't been in Paris I thought they had been telling me the truth – that's why I ran out the other night."

Patrick wiped away the tears as best he could. "No, Nikolas just told me. I swear Robin, if I had known what was going on I would have grabbed your parents and found you."

"I know you believe that but I can't, not yet." Patrick was hurt by her words, even if he understood where they were coming from. "Patrick, you said it yourself, I gave you enough signs to doubt my story but you never did. You didn't even question it for a moment. You walked away and left me with them. And they," Robin stopped speaking for a moment, "that doesn't matter."

"Yes, Robin, it does." Patrick wanted her to know that she could tell him anything.

"I can't, Patrick, I can't tell you what happened." Robin rubbed her face and started rocking a little bit. "Please don't make me."

Patrick began rubbing her hands, attempting to comfort her. "It's okay – whenever you are ready to tell me, I will be here."

It all became too much for Robin. She stood up and ran to the door. "I wish I could believe that Patrick but I just can't."

A moment later she was out the door and Patrick was wondering if she could ever trust in him again.