A/N: A bit of an author's note at the bottom :)
No specific time frame, playing pretty loosely with canon.
In one of Yamamoto-soutaicho's exceedingly rare non-mission trips down to the Human world, he had made a stop by a popular restaurant that served "buffets". He had no idea what they were, and deciding as Captain Commander of the Gotei 13, he must find out. And so, stepping into a Gigai, he stepped into the restaurant.
Observing the humans around him, he concluded that a buffet was a self-serve dining cafeteria experience. His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he should start eating soon. He got up from his seat and with as much dignity as he could muster having to collect his food himself (it wasn't even freshly prepared!) , he decided to give it a go. Taking a plate, he proceeded to pile his plate sky high with everything they offered. Cakes, meats, vegetables, why he took them all. The other diners gawked at the old man who was stuffing his plate full. 'Why surely he could not be so greedy?' The muttered among themselves.
Yamamoto disregarded their foolish comments. Mortals need not eat so much, they had no reiatsu to sustain. With great gusto, he finished his plate. It was went for another. And another. And following that yet another and another. Waiters masked their surprise at the frail older man who had a bottomless pit for a stomach. The manager grimaced, he wouldn't be making a profit out of Yamamoto; he might make a loss instead. Yamamoto on the other hand loved every moment of it. The food seemed to be calling him back to take more and of course he did. Who knows when he would be back in the world of the living?
7 full plates and many a glass of tea later, Yamamoto was very politely asked to leave, on the grounds that the restaurant would be closing soon. The old man vacated as asked, a content smile on his face. Yes, this cafeteria certainly put those in the Division's barracks to shame. He would have a talk with his Captains- the Shinigami's food should be at least on par with the Human's.
With his iron will and command over Captains who were obliged to obey him, Soul Society went through one of it's most trying times.
As soon as he stepped back into the First's offices, he had drafted out a new law. All the barrack kitchens would now need to prepare buffets for all Shinigami for breakfast, lunch and dinner. To emphasize his point, he even sent his Captains down to the World of the Living to visit the buffet. No one could see how the old captain commander could have drafted out a new rule based on some food.
Due to the new rule, a larger than ever budget had to be given to the kitchen staff. It wasn't so bad for the richer divisions, such as the First, Second and Sixth. Their commanding officers were rich in their own right and could afford to shell out the money needed to employ more cooks and buy more food.
The rest weren't so lucky. The division's cooks were already hard pressed to churn out a plate of food for each Shinigami on a normal day. Most Shinigami were never full, but they made the most out of their food. Now they had to dish out 4, or even 5, times more, since a buffet technically allowed one to take as much as he pleased.
To meet the new standards, the rank and file soldiers, and sometimes even the lower ranking Officers had to help in the food production. It was met with much disdain and annoyance. Who wanted to cook after a long day spent training?
Nevertheless, they all somehow pulled through the first month. But this peace would not last, for it was bound that something bad would happen.
It started out innocently enough, Matsumoto wanted to escape her paperwork prison and the kitchens were always in need of an extra hand.
As she stepped in, she was immediately tasked to watching over the soup, and when it has boiled, add in a jar of sauce. A harmless job, really. What can possibly go wrong? The main kitchen crew wondered, remembering the last time their Lieutenant tried to cook for them. They hoped they wouldn't die a red bean and spinach paste noodle death. (How that was possible when all Matsumoto was given was some sauce, they didn't say, but knowing her, pigs can fly if she really wanted them to. Too bad paperwork was harder than making pigs sprout wings)
For such an important Shinigami as Matsumoto, watching a pot boil wasn't terribly interesting or stimulating. Eh, why not play a drinking game? She wondered to herself, slyly removing the lid of a box that read 'Extra knives' and extracted a bottle of sake. Every time she saw a bubble appear on the surface of the soup, she would drink a gulp.
Within minutes the bottle of sake she held was nearly empty. With a scrowl, she took out a few more, not caring if anyone saw her. Those who did were too busy to tell her off.
15 minutes later, the Lieutenant was pleasantly tipsy, not quite drunk. The pot was bubbling over and the soup threatening to spill. With a tiny hiccup she realised she had better pour in that sauce. She reached out and grabbed the nearest bottle, failing to check it's contents before downing it in the pot. And her state of stupor, her mind didn't quite register anything. 'If I add this in the soup would taste better' She some how convinced herself, pouring in her whole collection of sake into the merrily bubbling pot.
When she was satisfied with her work, she declared she was going to take a bath and promptly left the kitchens.
It wouldn't have been so bad if the soup was allowed to be boiled a little longer as the alcohol would have evaporated, but as soon as she poured in the drink, another cook gave it a quick stir before putting it out at the buffet table.
Dinner for Hitsugaya was never very pleasant. Having to join the long snaking queues for food was taxing enough on his already short temper. The soup lines was always the shortest, and a bowl of soup was all he needed for a long night of paperwork. He ladled himself some soup, brought it into his office and downed all of it noiselessly before realising it had a distinctive alcoholic taste to it.
He felt his head spin. He was a light weight and he knew it. With a mumbled curse at whoever dared spike the soup, he put his head down and was put to a deep sleep that was part alcohol induced, part tiredness; oblivious to his division's antics.
The Shinigami of the Tenth could hold their alcohol better than their captain, but with alcohol in their systems, they too could behave like rowdy Eleventh Divisoners, and many petty fights broke out. When the whole division was somewhat collectively drunk, the mess it made was monstrous.
The dining hall no longer confined hundreds of drunk Shinigami as they spilled out into the streets of Seireitei. The crowd messed up each and every divison as they passed by. More alcohol was procured as the night wore on, nothing short of a few captains would stop them.
When word reach Yamamoto, he was not pleased and demanded to meet whichever officer of the Tenth that was not part of the 'parade'. To his great shock, Matsumoto turned up. Hitsugaya had been inebriated as well? And Matsumoto of all people was still relatively sober? He had half expected her to be leading the party.
"Matsumoto-fukutaicho, who do you think is responsible for this?" He asked, staring her down.
"Ahh..." was the reply.
Yamamoto wasn't happy. He took his staff and pounded the floor with it in anger. Why were there such incompetent Shinigami in the Gotei 13?
"I will inform your Taicho of this, he will punish you as he sees fit." He declared. "Dismissed."
In the early morning, Hitsugaya found it strange that no one was in the office on time. The ones who managed to drag themselves out of bed were sitting dazed at their desks, in various states of hung-overness. The rest were sleeping off their drinks.
They, and the rest of Seireitei, were given a wake up call when the prodigy received word from the captain commander about Matsumoto's antics. Who wouldn't, when Spring had suddenly turned into Winter?
Author's Note {replying to some comments}
NatsuShinigami and ANIMEXMANGALOVER: Thank you so much! So glad that people found my attempts at humor funny :D
"Guest": I have a confession to make...I don't ship Hitsuhina at all. If you want to rank who I ship Hitsugaya with, Hinamori is quite down there. Totally surprised that people liked how I wrote them. I'll totally think about writing them if I can find any inspiration for their kind of relationship. No promises though!
To everyone else who has reviewed so far: You all make me so so happy. I was checking my email notifications for review before my class started and I was grinning the whole day. Although I probably am not the best writer and I don't have very many fans (do I even have one lol) every single notification I get on this story makes me so so happy I don't really know how to say it. So big thanks and many warm hugs- you have my unconditional love.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
For the month of June, I'll be updating once a week (or even sooner if I can write chapters faster!) because school's out and that means more time to spend being anime trash. Look out for some SWA action, Hitsu-karin angst, and a little drabble involving my favourite character (who surprisingly hasn't made much of an appearance here yet).