Chapter 61

Robin entered the hospital daycare and was immediately greeted by the director, Miss Chase. "Dr. Scorpio-Drake – what a nice surprise. I didn't think we'd see you again until after your shift."

Robin put on a brave face and smiled at the woman. "I was just, uh, I was missing Josh. Is he sleeping?"

"Actually, we had lunch and just finished tummy time so I am sure he's ready for a little time with mommy. Come on, I'll take you to him." Miss Chase stood up and led Robin into the infants room where Josh was just finished getting his diaper changed.

Robin walked over to the changing table and gazed down at her four month old little boy. He had her eyes but everything else was pure Patrick including his hair and the Drake dimple. Josh heard her approach and he instantly smiled at his mom. Robin picked him up and laid him against her chest, kissing the top of his head. "Oh, you have no idea how much mommy needed that."

Robin sat down in the rocking chair and began to rock while Josh closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. They were still sitting there 10 minutes later when Patrick came in and found them. "I thought I mind find you here."

"Yeah, I just needed some time with my little man." Tears were in Robin's eyes. "He makes almost anything better."

Patrick knelt down next to her and gently rubbed her arms. "It's not your fault Robin. You did everything you could."

Robin nodded. "I know but he was so young." Just an hour ago Robin had lost a 9 year old little boy, Matthew Pope, to an inoperable brain tumor. She had hoped to buy him a little more time to at least get him to his 10th birthday but her treatment hadn't worked. "I should have done more."

Patrick stood up and took a sleeping Josh from her hands. He placed their son in his crib and then pulled Robin into his arms. "You did everything you could for him. The tumor was inoperable and you gave him months he wouldn't have had without your treatments."

They stood there together for a minute before Patrick spoke again. "Come with me." Robin let Patrick lead her out of the daycare and up to the roof. He then took her in his arms and held her close. "Let it out Robin."

Robin finally broke down, releasing every tear she had been holding back. Patrick slowly sat down with her and rubbed her back. He didn't say a word, there were nothing he could say, so he just let her cry.

"Go home Robin." Patrick led Robin back to her office and picked up her purse.

"We have surgery in an hour…" Robin started to head to her desk but Patrick stopped her.

"Robin," Patrick took her face in his hands, "I love you and I love having you in the OR with me but you have had a rough day and I think you need a little time to yourself before Emma comes home. Go home, take a bath and then a nap. I'll get Josh from the daycare after surgery and have Mac get Emma from school. I'll even stop and get some Chinese food so you don't have to cook. Sound like a plan?"

Robin sighed in resignation. The truth of the matter was that she was completely wiped out from losing Matthew and she could use a little time to herself to deal with it. "You know what, maybe you're right, maybe it would be a good idea if I left for the day. I'll take my laptop and do a little research…"

Patrick stopped her from picking up the computer and gently led her to the door. "No, no research, nothing work related. Just take a little time to yourself." They walked out the door and Patrick handed her over to Dennis. "Robin is heading home early today – can you make sure she gets there safely?"

"Of course." Dennis looked at Robin. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes Dennis, thank you." Robin leaned up and kissed Patrick before she left. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you at home." Patrick watched Robin and her guard get on the elevator before picking up the phone and calling Mac. "Hey, I need a favor…"

"Thank you Dennis – I appreciate you making this stop for me. Just wait in the car, I'll be back in a few minutes." Robin got out of the car and walked over to the bridge.

She moved slowly to the center of Stone's bridge and stood looking out over the city. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that, we have been really busy. I have a little boy now – his name is Josh and he is perfect, just like his sister. He's four months old and growing so fast. And Patrick, so kind and loving. I am still so in love with him and he loves me. I am just so blessed in so many ways I never could have imagined when I was..."

The tears fell as Robin continued to speak to Stone. "So why I am crying? I lost a patient today, a little boy. He was so sweet and beautiful. He had the most wonderful smile and this infectious laugh that he never lost, even when the pain had to be terrible. He called me Dr. Robin. He told me," Robin stopped for a moment, choked by her tears, "he told me that it was okay. That he knew he was going to a better place and he was going to get to see his grandpa again. He was 3 days from turning 10 years old. All I wanted was to at least help him see his 10th birthday."

Robin wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. "It's not fair! Why do sweet, kind children have to die while monsters like Faison and Obrecht and Marcus get to live? It just doesn't make sense."

Leaning against the side, Robin slid down and let the tears flow once more. It took quite a while, almost 15 minutes, but she finally cried herself out. She looked up at the sky and smiled. "I guess I just wanted to ask you to please look out for him, help him find his grandpa. Please take care of him for me."

Robin walked back over to the car and took one last look at the bridge before getting in.