Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful characters that Stephenie Meyer has created. I also wanted to let everyone know that I only wrote the Bella Point of Views, and my dear friend, "OhWowKatherine" wrote the Edward Points of Views.
This part picks up from "The Battle with Victoria." Make Sure you read that first!
Comments would be wonderful!
Edward's POV
I wanted to say something. Something to prepare her for what was about to do. Nothing could fully explain to her what this was going to be like. "Bella...this is going to hurt," was all that I was able to come up with. It was going to be more than just pain. If she thought her hand burned when James bit her, she's going to feel like she was burning from the inside out. "I know," she said. She was thinking deeply about something. I could see it in her eyes. Undoubtedly it was about her family. "We don't have to do this today, Bella. We don't have to do this at all..." I lied. I may wish that this didn't have to happen, but we all know that it has to. She's going to change whether it is by me, by Victoria, or by the Volturi. It was just more convenient this way. She started to cry. "We do." She knew it just as well as I did. I pushed her hair away from her neck, and I put my lips to her collar bone, and moved all the way up her neck. Her veins pulsed beneath my kiss.
"What on earth is going on in here?" Charlie yelled. This is sufficiently awkward. At least it's good to know that the Police Chief has spot-on timing. The only question is what do we tell him? That this is just a late night rendezvous, or rather the true story.
Bella's Entry:
"What on earth is going on in here?" I heard my father shout. Edward and I both jumped up--and we were both speechless. I knew what it looked like to my father; this was something that Edward and I didn't need.
"You two better get up and meet me out here in the kitchen in two minutes!" He said angrily, glaring at Edward and then at me. Edward moved off of me, as Charlie turned from the doorway and left. I looked down at my shirt and saw the dried blood—I had almost forgotten about my injuries with Edward's new proposal.
"You might want to change." Edward whispered, pulling his hand through his hair nervously. What were we going to say to my Dad? When I looked at Edward, he shook his head and held my hand for a moment.
"We'll take care of this together, Bella." He whispered.
"Get down here, you two…now!" Charlie shouted from the kitchen. I watched Edward walk to my doorway, and he turned to look at me. "You should change before you come down." He whispered. I nodded quickly, and watched as he disappeared out the door.
Charlie's angry voice immediately followed after.
I slung my bloodied shirt off, and pulled a clean white t-shirt from my closet, and pulled my hair back quickly.
"Bella, you better be coming!" Charlie shouted.
I ran out of my room, and saw Edward sitting at the table with Charlie. My stomach dropped—I didn't know what we were going to tell Charlie.
Was it really time to come down on him with the truth? I knew it wouldn't be so accepting like I had been.
"How long has this been going on?" He glared at the both of us. I guess Charlie couldn't just pinpoint Edward this time—I was an "active" member in this too… Well, considering what Charlie thought we were up to.
Edward glanced at me and then back to Charlie.
"A while…but it's really not what you think." He managed. I knew it wouldn't explain anything to Charlie. Charlie was set in the ways of his own thinking—and he thought we were being "intimate" together. I could just hear the next question out of Charlie's mouth.
"Is this why you're marrying her Cullen?" He slanted his hardened gaze at Edward.
"Dad!" I shouted angrily—not allowing anyone to answer the question.
"It's honestly not what you think, Dad." I tried again. "Edward…was…" I glanced at him; wanting to finally tell my Dad everything, but I knew the truth had to come from his own mouth.
"There's no need…" Edward began and stopped. Perhaps he wanted to lie to Charlie, just one more time. But I didn't want Charlie to all of a sudden, not allow our marriage. I knew Edward knew this too.
"Mr. Swan," Edward began again, and looked at him. "I have a confession to make to you." I held my breath. My boyfriend—my finance, my Edward was about to tell his life secret.
"Mr. Swan, I know that you have heard these stories before; they're more legends than stories—but when truth comes to light, you see reality—not legends."
"You're not making any sense, Cullen." He said frustrated, crossing his arms. "I've heard the ridiculous rumors about your family—but I allow you in my house, don't I?"
Oh god—I didn't want Charlie to kick Edward out, just because he was a vampire. Edward would never hurt me.
Not on purpose.
"Those stories aren't ridiculous, Charlie." Edward sighed. "They're true."
Charlie glared at Edward and shook his head. "Boy, I know what you're trying to do; you're trying to get out of trouble…but its not going to work."
"No, Charlie." I whispered—suddenly letting his real name slip out of my mouth.
"Dad…" I said, correcting myself. "Edward is…"
"We're vampires, Charlie. And…"
"And I'm marrying Edward so I can become one too." I interrupted. If he wanted truth, we were giving it to him. Charlie sat still for a moment, perhaps soaking in everything; then he glared at the both of us.
"I don't believe in rumors or legends, Mr. Cullen, and I don't believe that you are one. Whatever game you two are playing—it's ending now…I don't want to see you at this house again." He said angrily.
Edward shook his head, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Charlie. But Bella and I are still going to get married… and…"
"No, she's not." Charlie shook his head. "She doesn't need to marry a crazy person."
"DAD!" I shouted as I stood up. "You ASKED for the truth…and we're TELLING you the truth. Why don't you understand?"
"You expect me to believe that kind of rubbish?" Charlie asked in disbelief.
"I do!" I shouted back; "I believe Edward. I see things happen… you walked in…"
Edward cleared his throat and shook his head. Perhaps we were swarming Edward with too much information. I sighed, frustrated—starting to feel the beginnings of a headache form in my head.
"Charlie…I'm leaving." I whispered, walking toward the front door. "I'm going to give you some space tonight." I heard Charlie thunder toward me—I knew I was in a lot of trouble; but I knew I also had to get out of the house.
Edward was by my side in an instant, and I ran out of the house. Charlie didn't come after me. Perhaps he saw some reason.
Edward glanced at me—sadness in his eyes. Maybe this is what I was destined to deal with all of my life. I would have to deal with existing—but not existing.
He grabbed my hand and led me off into the forest—towards his house; where I knew I would be staying for the rest of the night.
Esme and Carlisle were happy to see that I was alright—and I was happy to see a doctor. Carlisle wrapped up my bruised shoulders and arms, while Esme readied a bed for me in Edward's room. I could tell they were all excited that I was finally sleeping over; they were about to find out though—I slept; I didn't stay up all night like they could.
"Goodnight, Esme. Thank you." I whispered with a smile, as she laid out the last blanket on the floor. I borrowed a pair of sweat pants from Jasper, and a warm sweater from Edward—I could fall asleep to his scent. It was a comfort. She kissed my forehead and smiled. "Goodnight." She turned to Edward. "Don't keep her up too late." He rolled his eyes and closed the door as she left the room. The Cullens had told me they would try to keep quiet; Carlisle agreed to call Charlie and tell him that I was sleeping over, and was quite safe, and would return later the next day.
Edward sighed deeply, laying across his sofa. I covered myself with the warm blankets and curled into a ball—enjoying his scented sweater, and the warmth almost seeming to radiate from the blankets.
"Are you sleepy?" He whispered, glancing down at me. "Slightly." I whispered. I wanted to talk to Edward about what had happened earlier in my room.
Would he have really turned me into vampire?
"Edward?"
He seemed to have almost read my mind; If I hadn't known he couldn't—I would have believed he could.
"Not tonight, Bella." He sighed.
"Edward, why did you change your mind all of a sudden?" He glanced at me and thought for a long moment. He stood up, and slowly crawled onto the floor next to me; stealing some of the covers and curling up under the covers.
"What do you think?" He asked—looking deeply into my eyes.
I didn't know—I wanted to hear it from him.
"Tell me. Why did you change your mind…and why don't you do it now?" I asked. He stared at me and closed his eyes—thinking of course.
I had nothing but time that night; So I could wait forever for his answer.
Edward's POV
"What on earth is going on in here?" Charlie asked again. "You two better get up and meet me out here in the kitchen in two minutes!" I got off of Bella's bed, and brushed my hair back with my hands. I looked at her, all bloodied up. "You might want to change."
This is sure going to be an interesting conversation. An interesting conversation indeed. Bella didn't even move. "We'll take care of this together, Bella," I reassured.
"Get down here, you two…now!" Charlie's voice thundered from the kitchen. "You should change before you come down," I told her again. I made my way downstairs, and into the kitchen. I sat atop one of the stools next to the kitchen counter.
Charlie gave me a death glare, before yelling, "Bella, you better be coming!" She ran down the stairs and took a seat next to me. It was silent for a minute or so.
"How long has this been going on?" Charlie asked. He looked at both of us, but the question was directed more towards me. How do I even begin to explain? "A while…but it's really not what you think," I told Charlie. It definitely wasn't what he was thinking, but he would not believe me if I told him. "Is this why you're marrying her Cullen?" he asked fiercely. I expected this from him, but Bella got offended. "Dad!" she exclaimed, "It's honestly not what you think, Dad. Edward…was…" There was no good way to explain what he had walked in on. "There's no need…" I started. How could I possibly begin to explain? I took a deep breath. "Mr. Swan, I have a confession to make to you." Charlie looked at me with that deathly stare again. He was interested in what I was going to say--what my explanation was. "Mr. Swan, I know that you have heard these stories before," I started, then backtracked, "They're more legends than stories—but when truth comes to light, you see reality—not legends." That made absolutely no sense at all, which Charlie was more than happy to point out. "You're not making any sense, Cullen," he crossed his arms, and addressed the rumors, "I've heard the ridiculous rumors about your family—but I allow you in my house, don't I?" To a normal person anywhere else, the myths would be ridiculous, but here in Forks, the stories are far from it. "Those stories aren't ridiculous, Charlie. They're true." He, of course, didn't believe a word that I had said. I wouldn't either, if I was in his position. "Boy, I know what you're trying to do; you're trying to get out of trouble…but its not going to work," he accused. "No, Charlie," Bella said, accidentally calling Charlie by his name, "Dad, Edward is…" Here it comes. "We're vampires, Charlie. And…" I said. This must sound like such a load of bull. Bella interrupted, "And I'm marrying Edward so I can become one too."
"I don't believe in rumors or legends, Mr. Cullen, and I don't believe that you are one. Whatever game you two are playing—it's ending now…I don't want to see you at this house again," Charlie said, getting frustrated. I shook my head. He was making it more difficult for himself. "I'm sorry, Charlie. But Bella and I are still going to get married… and…"
"No, she's not. She doesn't need to marry a crazy person."
Again, Bella interrupted, "DAD! You ASKED for the truth…and we're TELLING you the truth. Why don't you understand?"
"You expect me to believe that kind of rubbish?" She began to yell again, "I do! I believe Edward. I see things happen… you walked in…" I cleared my throat. It was time to give up. If he didn't want to accept this new information about my family and I, then I wasn't going to waste my time. "Charlie," she called him by his name again, "I'm leaving. I'm going to give you some space tonight." We walked out of the house. I pulled her onto my back again. Then I began to run to my house. I wasn't so sure about changing her anymore. It just didn't seem like the right thing to do. If her father wouldn't even try to accept the fact that I was a vampire, how was he ever going to deal with his only daughter becoming one as well? We arrived home, and Esme and Carlisle greeted Bella graciously. I told Carlisle about the car accident and he gave Bella the once-over, bandaging up her scrapes and bruises, as well as checking for any bones that may have been broken. Esme looked through the closet in the hallway for some pillows and blankets, to make up a bed for Bella to stay on. Bella came into the room and thanked Esme for letting her stay over. "Don't keep her up too late," she told me. I rolled my eyes and shut the door. I looked at Bella, all curled up in the blankets on the floor. "Are you sleepy?" I asked her. "Slightly," she said, and after a few moments she called my name, "Edward?" I knew what she was going to ask. I sighed and told her, "Not tonight, Bella."
"Edward, why did you change your mind all of a sudden?"
It wasn't an all of a sudden thing. I crawled onto the floor, and got under the covers with her. "What do you think?" Surely she would have some idea
"Tell me. Why did you change your mind…and why don't you do it now?"
How could I explain this to her. I wanted to give her an explanation that she would accept, or at least be somewhat content with. It didn't take me long to realize that regardless of what my answer was, she wasn't going to be happy with it. She looked at me, patiently awaiting my answer. For once, she wasn't pressuring me into a quick answer. "Bella," I said. Her eyes widened in anticipation. I stopped and thought again. "Bella, if I changed you tonight, if I went through with it, what would Charlie say three days from now?" I asked her, "And what would you tell him?"
She hesitated. "It's because of Charlie that you won't changed me?" she asked, "Edward, you promised me. You promised that you would change me if I married you."
I sighed, "It's not just Charlie…and I know that I promised."
Bella didn't listen, but rather, continued in her rant, "And if you don't do it, Victoria will. And if she doesn't the Volturi will…or Alice, or even Carlisle. They all agreed to do it…but why won't you?"
"You wouldn't understand. You have no idea how difficult a decision this is for me, or how difficult it will be for me to perform it," I told her.
"You promised, Edward," she said again, "and it's not like you haven't been around my blood before. Will you please stop making excuses and just tell me. Please, Edward."
So much for her not pressing the issue. I didn't feel like getting in this argument right now. "Bella, go to sleep," I told her, "We can talk about this is the morning." I didn't wait for her to answer me. I got up off of the floor and left the room.
Bella's POV:
I couldn't look at Edward in the eye the whole morning. Esme offered me breakfast and a drink—but I politely refused, and slowly packed away the blankets and pillows—trying to keep away from Edward. I wasn't angry—but I was hurt; I kept replaying the night before in my head.
"Bella, if I changed you tonight, if I went through with it, what would Charlie say three days from now? And what would you tell him?" I could only look at him—wondering what I could say. I felt so betrayed, and hurt. "It's because of Charlie that you won't changed me?" I asked. "Edward, you promised me. You promised that you would change me if I married you." He had—and now, I felt like Edward might think I was only marrying him to become a vampire. I sighed, watching as he did too. "It's not just Charlie…and I know that I promised." He had closed his eyes—perhaps annoyed that I was not going to give up. I continued with my sentence. "And if you don't do it, Victoria will. And if she doesn't the Volturi will…or Alice, or even Carlisle. They all agreed to do it…but why won't you?" I was hurt, and I knew I was being annoying—perhaps pushy, but I wanted Edward to be the one to turn me. "You wouldn't understand. You have no idea how difficult a decision this is for me, or how difficult it will be for me to perform it," He whispered. "You promised, Edward," I said again, "and it's not like you haven't been around my blood before. Will you please stop making excuses and just tell me. Please, Edward." I felt like he was hiding something—not telling me something!
He was pulling away from me—and I wanted to fight him tooth and nail, until he told me the real reason. He slowly got up, and laid the covers back over my shoulders. I could see conflict on his face. He was going to get up and leave now—I wanted to cry. "Bella, go to sleep," He whispered. "We can talk about this is the morning." He didn't wait for me to answer—he just left. The moment the door closed, tears escaped—and I cried myself to sleep.
I felt tears begin again, and I fought them so hard. I feverishly folded up the blanket, and placed it back on the shelves, where Esme had gotten them out of. I returned Jasper's pants back to him—and left Edward's sweater on his sofa.
We hadn't talked at all—and I didn't expect him to talk to me.
He had said enough—done enough, and so had I. I didn't want to give another reason for Edward to hate me. Perhaps the family felt my sadness; Jasper kept trying to make me smile; challenging me to Play station races, but I didn't focus—he beat me every time. Alice only could look at me sadly. She knew what was wrong, she of course, had seen our "fight".
"I think I'm going to head back to Charlie's house now." I whispered, as I sat down in front of Edward. He was reading a magazine, pulling his hand through his hair. He didn't look up at me, but nodded.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I think it's better off if you didn't, Edward." I whispered—knowing that I was signing our death warrant. I knew now that this would never work—it could never work. I would die, and he would live on forever. I would…have to learn how to live without Edward.
He only nodded—not looking up. I felt my heart break. Did he know the pain that he was inflicting?
"Edward?" My voice trembled—I knew this. Tears were filling my eyes; I tried to fight them, but they escaped.
"I love you—but I can't…"
"Bella." He began, looking at me with a hard gaze. "Bella, I love you…but you knew." He said, slamming the cover of the magazine close. His movements made me flinch, and I jumped.
He was right. I had known that he was a vampire all along. I knew—and I loved him despite it.
"Edward." I tried again, trying to clear my voice from fear.
"I… I just want to be with you."
"And you are! You will be!"
"Forever!" I shouted back. I couldn't hold back anymore. "I want to be with you forever!"
"You can't!" He said, angry full in his eyes. "You can't, Bella. I won't kill you. I won't allow anyone else have you either! End of story."
"No…this is not the end, Edward Cullen!" I shouted back, angry tears escaping my eyes. "I want to be with you."
"I don't know what you want from me!" He shouted; his hands pulling at his beautiful hair. I couldn't believe that we were fighting like this. The house seemed so quiet—it seemed like time was stopping, but then he moved from behind the counter; he stood right in front of me and sighed, shaking his head.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
"Don't do me any favors, Edward Cullen. I can take care of myself!" I shouted—stomping away.
The moment I escaped the house, I fell to my knees and began to cry. I wanted to go anywhere—but Charlie's house—and here.
I knew where to go—after a moment of more tears and the loss of breath.
I would go to Jacob Black.
Edward's POV:
The morning was awkward at best. I didn't want to be there when Bella woke up, because I knew that she would just push for an answer. As I ran out of things to do around the house, I had no choice but to go back up to my room. Bella was up and folding the blankets from the night before. She didn't look at me, or acknowledge my presence in any other way.
Since it was plainly clear tat neither one of us wanted to be the first to bring up the subject, I went back downstairs into the living room. I sat down on the couch and grabbed one of the magazines off of the coffee table. I heard Esme go to my room and offer Bella some breakfast. She, of course, refused. I swear she can be so childish at times.
Everyone in the house had found out about last night, as they all tried to console Bella. Alice "saw" the argument, and should have known that her efforts to help cheer Bella up would be futile.
I continued leafing through the magazine when Bella came down the stairs, into the living room, and stood before me. "I think I'm going to head back to Charlie's house now," she said, as she took a seat. I didn't look up from what I was reading. If she didn't want to look at me earlier, I can avert my eyes now. I suppose that this time I'm the one being a bit childish.
I nodded and asked, "Do you want me to come with you?" knowing what her probable answer would be.
"I think it's better off if you didn't, Edward," she said, giving me the expected answer. Again I didn't look up, but simply nodded. She started tearing up, as she seemed to be doing quite often lately. If she did it to make me feel guilty, it certainly worked. "Edward? I love you—but I can't…" she said.
"Bella," I said, looking up now, "Bella, I love you…but you knew." She knew I was a vampire. She knew every moment I spent with her required effort. She knew what she was getting herself into.
She cleared her throat, "Edward, I…I just want to be with you."
This frustrated me. Did she not know what she meant to me? "And you are! You will be!" I shouted, as I stood up.
"Forever! I want to be with you forever!"
"You can't!" I took a sharp breath as I continued, "You can't, Bella. I won't kill you. I won't allow anyone else to have you either! End of story."
"No…this is not the end, Edward Cullen! I want to be with you."
This was getting tiring, and we weren't accomplishing a thing, "I don't know what you want from me!" She didn't answer. "Do you want me to take you home?"
"Don't do me any favors, Edward Cullen. I can take care of myself!" She walked out of the house, slamming the door. I didn't even bother to go after her. This is what she wanted.
I plopped back onto my spot on the couch and put my head in my hands. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? I wish that for once she could see things from my place, and understand why I made the choice that I did. But she never would.
Bella's POV:
I didn't know what I was doing there. I knew I was angry with Edward—but what had dragged me out all the way to La Push? I sat in my truck—contemplating if I really should take this forbidden step. If I went to Jacob—there would be no turning back; Edward had already taken that step though—hadn't he?
I turned off the truck, and slowly got out—keeping an eye out for Sam or Embry. I wanted to face Jacob alone; I needed my friend, not Edward's competitor.
I gently knocked on the door and Billy answered it confused. "Bella? What—How can we help you?"
"Is Jacob there?" I asked. 'That's how you can help me, Billy,' I thought silently to myself. Billy looked over his shoulder—obviously at Jacob, and then turned to me.
"Bella, it's really not a good time."
Of coarse it wasn't. Jacob didn't want to see my face; he was too angry that I was marrying Edward. I didn't even know if Edward loved me anymore—if he even wanted to marry me now.
I didn't have to be a vampire's girl; I could be a normal human—heck, I could be a wolf's girl…
'But would you be happy?' I heard myself ask.
I knew the answer. It would be no. I wanted to be Edward's girl—always and forever. I pushed back thoughts of him—and the painful feeling of tears approaching. I didn't want to be the old Bella—the Bella that came to Jacob because she was hurting. She wanted that person to go away forever.
"Billy, it's really important that I see Jake right now." I heard Jacob growl from behind him and he walked up beside his father.
"What is it that you want, Bells?" I looked to see a new Jacob. He was letting his hair grow just a little thicker; not at all what it had been before his transformation though.
"Jake…" I whispered, looking up at him. I probably looked shocked—a little upset, but I didn't care. I never had to really care how I looked around Jacob. He had always liked me for me…
"What is it that you want, Bella?" Jacob asked again, more sternly as he pushed me away from the door, closing it behind him. Whatever he had to say to me, he obviously didn't want Billy to hear.
"Jake—I just need my friend."
"Running away from boyfriend problems?" He asked, snorting. "I figured I would good enough for something." Men and their egos—honestly. I just wanted to slap him, and knock the old Jacob into him. Ever since his transformation into a wolf, he was so much angrier. He inflicted emotional pain—more than Edward—on me, and I really didn't know how to handle it.
There was just so much guilt.
"I'm not running away from anything. I…I wanted to see you."
"Why now, Bella?"
"Why not?" I snapped. I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at him. When Jacob didn't reply, I knew to take that as my exit sign. I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn't wanted anywhere.
"I'll just go. I don't even know what I'm doing here." For a moment, I thought I had a clear way to my truck, but in a blink of an eye Jake was in front of me—stopping me.
"I'm sorry Bella."
I didn't need to hear that from him.
Now I realized I was running away. I had gone to the one person that I shouldn't have ever come to visit. This would only complicate things. I didn't reply, but walked around him.
"I'm going to go home, Jake. I don't know what I'm doing here. I thought… I would find comfort…something… and…" I shrugged. "But it's not here anymore."
It was all I could do to say the words.
I looked back on those days with Jacob fondly; there are times that I wonder if I ever really loved him then. Was it really possible for me—Bella Swan—to have loved Jacob Black and Edward Cullen at the same time?
I climbed into my truck, but Jacob stopped my hand when I went to close the door.
"Don't go."
"Jacob, you've made it more than obvious that I'm not welcome in your life anymore. I guessed I'd hope that my friend Jacob would come around sometime—but you keep pushing him away." I was getting upset now. Was I still angry at Edward? At Charlie?
"I just wanted to see and talk to my friend—but it was a worthless effort."
I knew my words at struck home; just by the way he looked at me.
"I'm sorry Bells." He whispered, not knowing what else to say. He let go of my hand and closed the door for me. I knew we could never be those people ever again. I knew my heart was and had always been with Edward. Jacob never stood a chance getting all of it.
"I guess I am too." I whispered back, starting my truck and hitting reverse—backing my truck out of his driveway; out of his life. He stared after me; I could feel his eyes on me, but I just ignored him and pulled away and drove as fast as I could.
I didn't know where I was going—or where I'd end up… but I just wasn't ready to face Edward. I knew I was probably making him more mad by just disappearing, or maybe he knew that I went to Jacob Black's house, and I knew he wouldn't be happy then either.
I pulled up in front of my house; thankfully Charlie's car wasn't there. He was at work.
I got inside and went up to my room; not looking at the kitchen or the living room. I just wanted to lie down and feel sorry for myself. It sounded like a plan, but I didn't even have the chance.
The moment I walked in—I saw Edward's solemn face staring into mine.
"Where have you been?" He asked gently; concerned. Was he finally sorry?
"Out." I whispered, lowering my gaze to the floor and I sat down on my bed. I was really annoyed I couldn't just lie down. I wanted some alone time.
"Out." He repeated and nodded; perhaps he accepted my one-worded answer. He seemed to. I saw him get up from the rocking chair, and sat down besides me.
"Bella…what happened last night, and what happened this morning…" He sighed. "I'm not going to call it a mistake, because that's not what that was. I just…" He looked at me and then back to his hands. "I love you too much to make you into the monster I am. I don't think I could live with myself after seeing you hunt for animals like me." He murmured softly. I never thought I would see this side of Edward, ever.
I didn't know how to handle or take his words, so I sat there quietly and listened—to see what else he'd say to me. After a long moment of silence, I bit my lip and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Edward." I whispered—hoping it would fix everything. I just wanted the both of us to be happy.
Edward's POV:
I sat there for an unmeasured amount of time. I didn't know what to do next, where to go from here. I felt Alice by my side. "Edward," she said, "What just happened?" She even seemed confused by the whole thing.
"I don't know, Alice," I told her, "But it can't be good. We've never fought like that before. Ever."
She looked at m sympathetically, "I know. What are you going to do?" I shook my head. I had no idea. "You aren't going to let her get away are you?" she asked.
"No," I said, "Of course not. I have more than learned my lesson from earlier this year. I'd have to be nuts not to go after her." I had answered the question. I didn't say anything to Alice, or to anyone or that matter, as I got up and left the house. I didn't bother to get in my car. I ran to Charlie's house and up into the window of Bella's bedroom.
She wasn't there. The entire house was empty. I didn't know what to think. Bella had said that she was going home, and now I'm here and she's not. I sat on her bed, not knowing what to think. I was ready to leave, when I heard a door open. I looked out the window and saw Bella's truck in the driveway.
I heard her steps as she came up the stairs, and eventually into her room. "Where have you been?" Did she have any idea how worried I had been?
"Out."
I nodded and repeated, "Out." After everything, I get a one word answer. I guess you could say I was deserving. Fine, if she isn't up for explanations, I'll explain myself. "Bella…what happened last night, and what happened this morning…I'm not going to call it a mistake, because that's not what that was. I just…" I sighed, "I love you too much to make you into the monster I am. I don't think I could live with myself after seeing you hunt for animals like me."
She sat there and took it all in. We sat there in silence for a long moment, when she whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward." It was supposed to make everything better, but I'm not so sure if it did.
Bella's POV:
I stared at Edward, and sighed. I wanted everything to be okay, but I knew that we would have to take some time--I knew it would take work.
"Edward." I began. "Are we...still together." He looked at me as if I were crazy. The answer was obvious in his eyes. I looked down at my hands and sighed. "Then what now? I'm marrying you--I'm going to grow old...and die...and then what?" There was no answer. Perhaps Edward was keeping the answer to himself. "I wish you would just get it over and done with." I whispered. "I wish I could just be one of you--and then we wouldn't have these discussions anymore." I knew Edward wouldn't respond to that either. I felt him grab my hand, and he raised my chin, so that I was looking into his eyes.
"No one will ever love you--like I have loved you Bella Swan." He whispered and kissed me. It almost felt like a goodbye kiss, but I removed that thought from my head and tried to just focus on him.
Edward's POV:
She tried again, "Edward, are we...still together?" Was she insane? I wouldn't be here unless I wanted to be with her. She continued, "Then what now? I'm marrying you--I'm going to grow old...and die...and then what?" It was only so long before she brought thins back up again. "I wish you would just get it over and done with. I wish I could just be one of you--and then we wouldn't have these discussions anymore," she told me.
I couldn't figure out why she kept going back to that horrible idea. Yes, in effect it would be easier for us, but easier isn't always best. Nothing would be the same between us ever again. If I didn't though, then we would keep fighting, and she would get fed up. She would leave me for Jake, as I'm sure she was at his house. She said she was out, but I could smell the scent of werewolf on her.
I keep trying to put my feelings for her in a way that she would understand, but nothing ever seemed to come out right. "No one will ever love you--like I have loved you, Bella Swan," I told her. Hopefully she got the massage that time. I kissed her, like I did that day in the forest. She probably thought I was saying good-bye, and to an extent I was. Only this was a good-bye of a different sort.
Bella's POV:
Was it crazy to say that I was afraid that he was leaving me? Again? Could I honestly sit there and tell myself that I would be okay? That I could handle to watch Edward leave my life one more time? I sat there--watching him; thinking to myself how I would keep myself together if he decided to leave me. I wanted to marry him; I wanted to wake up to his face every morning--then it hit me. I wouldn't "wake up" if I were a vampire. Things would be different--so much different then they were now.
"What do we do then, Edward?" I asked--trying to hold back my nervousness. "Do we get married--should we tell everyone that its canceled?" I sighed, looking up at him. "I don't want to seem pushy to you, Edward. I just...want to be happy. I want to be with you...and...I want things right." He seemed to understand and nodded. I waited for his answer; he seemed to think. I could only hold my breath--gripping the side of the bed tightly with all of my might.
Edward's POV:
She stopped me mid-kiss. "What do we do then, Edward? Do we get married--should we tell everyone that its canceled?" she asked, right before things were finally about to go her way. "I don't want to seem pushy to you, Edward. I just...want to be happy. I want to be with you...and...I want things right," she said. I sat up. I nodded. I want her to be happy as well. I guess that the only way for her to truly be happy is if she was with me…forever.
"Bella," I started, "Do you…do you really want to be changed?" This was going to be the final answer. I wasn't going to have things go around in circles like last time. She stared at me, in thought. Perhaps she was second-guessing the decision now, herself.
Bella's POV:
"I do." I began. I knew that I wanted to be changed—yes, the idea was scary, and I knew that once it happened, I couldn't take it away. I looked at him curiously. "Why?" He didn't reply, just shook his head—taking my words into consideration. I waited to see what he would do or say—but it seemed the moments went by—taking forever.
"I do, Edward…but I want it to be the right time; the right place. I want you to change me…when we're married, like you agreed." I was trying to give him time—or even perhaps myself time. I knew that changing me that night was not the answer—but I wished, prayed he did it quickly.