Ch. 2- The First Day of Hell
As soon as the door opened, a bottle full of alcohol came hurling towards the door. It crashed upon the wall next Shanks' head. Alcohol spilled from the broken bottle onto the pirate captain's head and neck.
Shanks stepped back and rubbed some of the alcohol away from his eyes. "What the hell?" he asked out loud.
Principal Manson sighed and stepped into the room. Shanks followed him.
Once he got inside, he looked around the room at his new students. Instead of there being eight students, there were nine. The small girl that crashed him through the door the day before was sitting behind a desk with a glass bottle full of a brown liquid in her hand. Standing next to her was a taller boy in black holding a thick book in his hands while shouting praises at her. The boy and girl that almost ran into him the day before with their red cart were there, too. The girl was holding another cigarette between two fingers and was leaning against the boy, who had an arm wrapped over her shoulder and was moving his head to her earlobe.
Another girl with a large stomach was chatting with a spiky haired boy while a girl with violet eyes sketched them. The oldest person in the classroom that was not Shanks or the principal was a man in his mid 20s. He was preparing to light a small, rolled up cigarette that was being held by a younger boy.
Principal Manson looked around the room and turned to the small girl. "Miss Morrow? Did you throw the bottle at the door?" he asked.
"What if I did?" the small girl asked in a bored voice. Her face had an angry look that clearly read "Don't mess with me because I can and will hurt you." Apparently, Principal Manson had noticed it and turned away from her. Now he chose to yell at the other students. "Miss Anders, put out that cigarette!" he yelled at the red haired girl.
"Bite me, Manson." the cigarette girl said after taking a puff of her cigarette. She let out a soft giggle as the blonde boy began to suck on her neck.
"Mr. Hooker! Knock it off!" Principal Manson shouted at the blonde boy.
Instead of answering in words like the girls had, he flipped the principal the bird and continued his business.
Principal Manson sighed and turned to Shanks. "They're all yours. Have fun with them and I hope you survive the first day." he told Shanks before heading out of the room quickly.
As soon as the principal left, the man student walked over to the small girl's desk. He shoved the boy with the large book out of the way and handed a canteen to the small girl. "Hey, Elie. Try this one out. Betcha won't get it." He challenged the girl.
The small girl grabbed the canteen, twisted off the top, and lifted the canteen to her lips. Her face showed no expression as she took a sip of whatever was inside the canteen. She swallowed and said in a partially loud voice, "Vodka and Tabasco Sauce."
The man student groaned and took the canteen away from the girl. "Damn! You got it again!" He headed towards the red haired smoker and held up his weak cigarette, "Hey, Maura. You got a light?"
The smoker, who was now busy sucking upon the blonde boy's neck, reached into her pocket and handed the man a lighter. The man smiled and used the lighter on his cigarette before placing the lighter back on the desk.
Shanks sweatdropped as he turned to the class and announced, "Ummmm...hi. I guess I'll be your new teacher. My name is Shanks."
The boy with the spiky hair looked at Shanks and said, "Oui femm hud meja bycd dra vencd tyo."
Shanks blinked at the boy's remark. What the hell did he say? "Anybody know what he said?" he asked the class.
The girl sketching said, "He said 'You will not live past the first day.'"
Okay, that was making him feel a little uncomfortable. The boy didn't speak his language and he basically said that Shanks was going to die. Something told him that the boy was probably telling the truth. Maybe the boy and the others had something planned for him or at least he was positive that the spiky boy and the small girl did. Shanks let out a sigh and walked to his desk and unlocked it with the key the principal gave him. There wasn't much in the desk. Just a paper with the student's names as well as the addresses of their homes, a few books, a bottle of aspirin, and about six packs of cigarettes. He had a feeling he knew who the cigarettes belonged to.
Shanks grabbed the cigarettes and handed them to the smoker, who was now finished sucking on the blonde boy's neck. "Do these belong to you?" he asked.
The smoker looked at the packs and immediately grabbed them. "They do now." She answered. She quickly stuffed them inside her desk.
"Hey, who the hell are you?" the girl with the big stomach asked as she combed her long, blonde hair with her fingers.
"He's our newest victim." The smoker answered as she took another puff.
The boy with the big book walked over to the smoker and sprayed water from a little flask onto her. "Lord, please spare this young girl's sinning soul!" he shouted.
"Get that crap off of me!" the smoker shouted as the water rolled off her skin and onto her desk, "You're getting my cigarettes soaked. Besides, you don't even belong here. Get back to your own damn classes." The boy with the big book ignored her.
"Ummm...okay. I'm going to call roll and when your name gets called, say 'here' and tell me something about yourself." Shanks announced. He looked at the paper with the names and called, "Maura Beth Anders." He already knew that the girl smoked and people called her "Anders", but he wanted to know something else about her. "Okay, Maura Beth, I already know you smoke, so tell me something else about yourself."
"I can kick your ass any day of the week…and don't call me 'Maura Beth'. Just call me Maura." The smoker, Maura, said after taking yet another puff.
Shanks sweat dropped again. Maura was started to act like the small girl that kicked him through the door the day before and she sounded scary. He turned back to his paper and called out the next name on the list, "Larry Cartier?"
The oldest student said, "I'm twenty-five years young and love to smoke pot."
Twenty-five and still in school? This guy must be a real dumbass. Well, might as well continue. "Kyler Hooker?"
The boy with the messy blonde hair only said, "I love to party."
"Johnny Lexis?"
"E csamm taydr uh oui, Jeldes." The spiky haired boy answered.
"What did you say?" Shanks asked the class.
The sketching girl said, "He said 'I smell death on you, Victim.'"
Shanks was still uncomfortable. So far he had two girls that wanted to beat his ass and another boy that threatened him with death. Maybe that was the reason why the last teacher quit. "Victoria Marxus?"
The girl sketching stopped and said, "I'm Johnny's translator." She then continued on with her sketching.
Okay, maybe this girl wouldn't be a bad one. Now it was time to continue. The next name on the list was "Elin Morrow" and he knew who that was...the small girl. "Elin Morrow?" he called. The girl didn't say anything. She didn't even look at him. "Anybody know why she isn't saying anything?" he asked the class.
"Elie doesn't do anything unless she wants to." Larry answered.
Even though he probably shouldn't have tried to get to know the small girl, Shanks wasn't going to give up. He walked over to Elie and placed a hand under the girl's chin and lifted her face. He noticed that she had blue-green eyes that went really nice with her soft brown hair, but her face was all bruised up.
With no expression on her face, Elie pointed a gun that looked...like his in Shanks' face. Shanks placed his hand on his side where his gun was made to be, but it was not there. Elie had his gun. "How did you get that, Elie?" he asked.
"She steals." Larry explained.
"Well, it's a good thing the gun isn't loaded." Shanks said. Wrong thing to say. A bullet from his gun was fired and whizzed by his ear and hit the blackboard. She stole a bullet from his pocket, too. Slowly he backed away from Elie with his arm up, surrendering to her. Now he was definitely afraid of this one girl because she could kill him and more than likely would if she got angry with him. He held up the paper and called the next name on the list, "Lynn Perry?"
The girl with the big stomach said something that Shanks had never heard somebody say in an introduction about themselves, "My water just broke."
"Your water just broke? What does that mean?" Shanks asked dumbly even though he knew what the "water broke" meant. He'd known for years but he didn't believe that he'd be hearing it any time soon.
"She's having her baby, stupid." Maura said loudly.
"Oh, it's my turn to deliver!" Larry shouted, hopping over to where Lynn stood with her hands on her stomach.
"Whoa. Wait a minute..." Shanks started. Everybody ignored him and gathered around Lynn.
At the same time, Maura and Kyler ran to Shanks' desk and threw off everything that was sitting on the top. With the help of Victoria, Johnny, and Larry, Lynn was laying down on top of the desk in an unfamiliar position to the temporary teacher. He knew how babies were made and how they were brought into the world. He'd known about that since he was a kid, but he'd never expected to actually see the kid coming out of its mother unless, of course, the kid was actually his. This one wasn't.
He paled as he heard screaming coming from the girl laying on top of the desk, "Get me something! This really hurts!...Maura, don't give me one of those damn cigarettes! I'm not going to choke on those things while I'm getting this kid out of me!"
Elie grabbed her glass container and handed it to Lynn. "Drink this." she muttered.
"What is it?" Lynn cried.
"Vodka and fruit juice." Elie explained, "It will calm you down."
Lynn grabbed the container and quickly gulped the liquid down. She then threw the container to the ground and continued on with her screaming.
Shanks turned away as he heard Larry shouted, "Hey, I can see the head!" Another scream from Lynn came followed by a baby's cry and a heavy thump on the ground.
"It's a girl...but she has a penis." Kyler announced.
"You dumbass, it's a boy." Larry shouted. He turned to Maura and asked, "How the hell do you put up with such an idiot?"
"Give me my kid!" Lynn screamed before Maura could answer. Larry wrapped the baby in Lynn's coat and handed it to her. Almost instantly, the baby stopped crying.
"Irrrrr...kioc...uin daylran..." Johnny started.
Victoria turned to Shanks and said, "Oh damn. He's right. You guys, I think we killed our new teacher."
"Really? Wow. It was only five minutes. I think that's a new record." Maura stated.
Victoria shook her head, "Nah. Remember what happened three months ago when that English nanny came to teach and Elie and Kurt scared her so badly that she only lasted three minutes? That was our record."
"Oh yeah. So, do we just leave him here?" Maura asked.
"Might as well. It'll probably be a while before he wakes up." Larry said, "but while he's here. We might as well see if he has anything good on him."
The students backed away from Lynn and began to lean into their unconscious teacher to take whatever he had on him that was useful.
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By the time Shanks woke up, everything except his underwear was gone. No students were in the room and he was laying on the floor. "What the? Where is everybody?" he asked out loud as he stood up. He looked at the clock above the blackboard. It was 11:03. The sun from outside came into the classroom, so it was easy to tell that it was the afternoon or close enough to the afternoon.
The door to the classroom opened and there in the doorway stood the vice principal of the school, which Shanks failed to get her name. She let out a large "A-hem!" from behind the pirate/teacher.
Shanks turned around, embarrassed to be seen like he was, clad in nothing but his underwear. "Ummm...I can explain." he started.
The vice-principal that stood in the doorway laughed, "They stole everything but your underwear. It happened before to a few of the other teachers. It's no big deal."
"Where are they? Last thing I remember, Lynn gave birth to a baby on my desk."
"Oh, it's lunch time. They're probably in the cafeteria or something." The vice principal answered with a smile on her face. She walked to the closet in the room and brought out a white lab coat. She tossed it over at Shanks, who caught it in his hand. "Here, put this on." She said before walking back to the doorway. Before leaving the room she said, "By the way, I'm Sarah."
The captain quickly slipped the coat over his body and sat back down at his desk. He again pulled out the attendance sheet and looked over the last name on the list "Kurt Weber." There was only one more student in the room: a strawberry blonde-haired boy with blue-brown eyes wearing a muscle shirt and the same look as Elie. It was lunch time and he wasn't hungry, so he chose to wait until the others came back.
Twenty minutes passed and the bell rang. Shuffling came from the hallway and the classroom door was ripped open. A lot of noise came as most of the students came in and sat down in their own seats, save for Maura, who took a seat on Kyler's lap. The boy with the book was not amongst them. Neither was Lynn, her baby, or Shanks' clothes.
"Okay, you guys. What happened to my clothes?" Shanks asked.
"Daulton needed clothes so we borrowed yours." Maura answered from her new seat.
"Daulton?"
"Lynn's baby. She went home afterwards to relax." Victoria answered.
"Okay, so who has my gun?" Shanks asked.
All eyes turned to Elie, who made no movement and stared at her teacher through her black eyes. She said nothing, but so didn't anybody else. It was clear that she had the gun and had no intention on returning it on her own.
Shanks let out a little sigh and said to the small girl, "Elie, I want my gun back by the end of school."
"You don't have any control over me." Elie spat.
Shanks ignored her and went back to his desk. Hidden inside the top drawer of the desk was a partially thick, medium-sized book titled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. "Okay, I'm guessing that this is the book you guys were assigned to read, so do your other teachers read to you or what?" he asked the class.
"Usually our teachers attempt to read to us since nobody here cares enough to read from their own books." Larry answered.
"Okay, so how far were you guys in this book?"
This time, Maura answered, "We got up to the part where all the characters got sticks shoved up their asses and killed each other because they were all being bastards, thus ending the book and series."
"Rar...E fecr." Johnny muttered.
"Uhhhh..." Shanks turned to Victoria, the translator.
"We're up to chapter seven." Victoria answered simply as she began taking out colored pencils. She turned to Johnny and said in his language, "Rao, Johnny. Oui kud yho byban E lyh punnuf?"
Johnny reached into his desk and handed blank pieces of paper to Victoria, "Rana oui ku, Victoria."
"Dryhg oui." Victoria began drawing on her paper.
"Elie, oui kud yho suna uv dryd jutgy?" Johnny called from the other side of the room.
Elie turned to him and said in a sharp voice, "Listen, you foreign bastard, we don't all speak whatever the hell you're speaking."
"He wants your drink, Elie." Victoria answered.
Elie tossed her glass bottle full of alcohol over to Johnny, who barely caught it. "Fydlr frana oui'na yesehk dryd drehk!" he shouted. Even though Elie did not know what he said, she didn't like the way he said it to her and flipped him off.
Kurt walked over and sat in the seat behind Elie, who now turned her attention to him. At first Shanks assumed that they were going to fight, but was surprised to find out that they didn't. Instead, Kurt brought out a dagger and began carving on the desk, occasionally handing the dagger to Elie, who also carved on the desk.
From Kyler's seat, both Kyler and Maura continued the same business they started when Shanks first walked into the classroom and both of them did not seem to want to stop even though their new teacher was attempting to make them pay attention.
Larry was sitting alone, smoking the tiny cigarette he had earlier that morning. Like the other students, he showed no interest in what was happening. In fact, he looked half asleep.
Shanks was about halfway into chapter seven of the book when he heard Elie say, "Finished." And throw the dagger behind her...and the dagger was headed straight for Shanks. If the man had not held the book in front of his face, the dagger most likely would have pierced him right in the middle of the forehead, but did the small girl apologize? No. In fact, Kurt gave her a high-five. It was like the thing was planned or something.
Okay. I'm done reading this book. Shanks thought as he placed the book pierced with the dagger on top of his desk. He went back into the desk and pulled out a book entitled American History. He opened the book, turned to a random page, and looked at what was on it. After that, he turned to the class and announced, "Okay, enough of that book. We're going to do some history lesson. So, who can tell me what the Bill of Rights is?"
"A piece of shit the government made up to make people believe that everyone has rights." Kurt answered from behind Elie.
"Yeah, if the Bill of Rights was actually to be used for every American, then why the hell are we stuck crammed in this classroom where nobody gives a damn about us?" Victoria asked while continuing her artwork.
"Okay, maybe history isn't such a good idea. Let's try something else..." Shanks said before digging back into his desk for more books.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER
In the last twenty minutes, Shanks attempted to teach Math to the students, but like with the reading, nobody gave a damn. Art wasn't a big success either since Victoria was the only one that was drawing. The last thing he tried to each was a Science class. That was at least a partial success. The lesson was about gravity and Shanks made the mistake of making a demonstration. He made an even bigger mistake when he brought out rope to tie around the bottle in Johnny's hands and a paper weight in the desk. His biggest mistake was asking Kurt to tie some of the rope around the items.
Rather than tie the rope around the items, Kurt tied the teacher up with the rope...and he did it so quickly that Shanks couldn't react in time. Within five seconds, Shanks' legs were tied up by one of the ropes while his body and arm were tied up by the other one. Now the teacher was immobilized.
"Let's go home." Kyler announced to the class. Everyone agreed and stood up. Before walking out the door, all the students placed papers on the desk.
"They're our mini-essays we were assigned to write from our last teacher. Have fun grading them." Victoria explained before leaving the class with Johnny and Larry. Maura and Kyler followed them giggling.
"Ah, Elie. Before you leave, isn't there something you have to give me?" Shanks asked the small girl.
Without saying anything, Elie slugged him in the stomach...hard. She slugged the captain so hard that he gasped for air. She walked out of the room without returning his gun.
"Hey! Get back here, you little bitch!" Shanks shouted after Elie.
"Don't talk to her like that!" Kurt shouted before punching his teacher in the gut harder than Elie did. He left the room and slammed the door behind him.
Shanks was now alone in the classroom. He would have been almost screwed had he not remembered that the Harry Potter book still had the dagger in it. Using his mouth, the pirate pulled the dagger out and somehow managed to untie the rope bounding his arm to his body. He then grabbed the dagger with his arm and untied his feet. All his students were little Hellraisers and had he been any normal person, he would have quit right then and there, but he wasn't. He dealt with worse things than them and he would not lose to any of them.
The captain realized he had an hour left of class, so he chose to waste it by grading the seven mini-essays he was given. On top of the list was Victoria's. The paper was filled mostly with little doodles rather than words, but she did have a couple sentences talking about the book. Larry's was the same way but instead of little doodles, he had dollar signs and amounts.
Maura's was third on the pile with so much swearing and slang on it that the teacher honestly could not tell what she was stating on it. Kyler's was worse. Not only did he have what Maura did, but he also had spelling errors that were so bad that Shanks couldn't understand what he was saying. Johnny's paper was next, but after reading the first few sentences, Shanks decided to stop:
Harry Potter ec ypuid cusa kyo fewynt fru sucd megamo cedc eh dra tyng bmaycinehk rescamv du Nelrynt Cessuhc jetauc. Ra kuac du cusa fewynt clruum, frana ra saadc y pihlr uv udran kyo baubma yht pakehc du ryhk uid fedr dras. Rec dfu vneahtc yna yhudran rusu yht cusa ikmo-ycc pedlr.
"What the hell is he saying?" Shanks asked out loud.
There were two papers left in the pile: Elie and Kurt's. Kurt's was up first, torn and partially burned with what looked like a cigarette burn. Aside from his name, the only words on the paper was "This book sucks." Elie's was the worst one so far. Hers wasn't torn, but the only words on it were her name and the two words "Harry Potter". The rest of the paper was covered in dried red blotches.
The door to the classroom opened and there, in the doorway, stood Vice Principal Sarah with a calm look on her face. "You know, everyone in the class is gone. You are free to leave whenever you wish." She told Shanks.
"Man, what the hell's the matter with those kids?" Shanks asked her.
Sarah's calm look stayed put on her face as she answered, "Lots of things. Are you quitting already?"
Shanks didn't admit it, but he thought about quitting. These kids and the idiot adult were almost worse than anything he had put up with before. Maura and Kyler seemed to only care about making out in class or having fun instead of doing anything helpful. Johnny threatened him in a language he didn't understand. Lynn, though Shanks didn't know her very well, was like Larry and didn't really care about doing anything but sit around. Kurt scared the captain by teaming up with Elie and almost killing him. Elie, though she was a small girl, had already proven that she had the power to kill the captain and actually had gotten Shanks to believe that she really did kill a few people.
The thought was shook off though. He was a pirate captain and had dealt with things worse than the seven students. Perhaps something was wrong with them that needed help. "I won't quit. I can handle them. I've straightened out worse adults than them, so I think I can handle a few kids." He answered.
Sarah shrugged and said, "Okay. Whatever you say. I hope you can do it. It would be nice to see them all straightened out." Sarah then left the room, but not before tossing a set of keys into Shanks' hands, explaining that it would be better that he lock the classroom door to prevent thieves from entering the room.
The captain grabbed all his papers and left the room after locking the door behind him and leaving the school all together. His original plan was to leave the school then head to Elie's house and take his gun before heading back to the ship. He had his paper with the address of all the students in his classroom and halfway down the list was Elie's name and address. Unfortunately, since the man was new to the area, he needed a map, which he did not have. Time for a new plan: leave the school, head back to the ship, ask one of the sailors for a map or directions to Elie's house, then retrieve his gun.
The streets of the town were empty, but Shanks still expected Kyler to drive up behind him like what happened the day before. Kyler did not come nor did anybody else. He was entirely safe until he got back to the ship. Unfortunately, none of the fishermen were outside, so it was up to Shanks to either wait until one came back or check to see if one of the crewmen had one.
"So, how was your first day of your job with the kids, captain?" Yasopp asked, letting out a laugh.
"It was Hell. They're all Hellraisers...and one of them isn't even a kid. The oldest one is twenty-five years old." Shanks answered.
The crewmen laughed as Shanks talked about his first day "teaching". They laughed when he explained about the alcohol bottle flying at him. They cracked up when he explained the incident he had with Lynn and her baby being born on his desk. They were all in hysterics when he said that he had his gun and clothes stolen by the class.
"And to top it all off. I'm stuck grading some damn papers about some book I don't even understand." Shanks explained.
"Let's see the papers. I wanna see how dumb these kids are." Yasopp said with a smirk on his face.
Without hesitation, Shanks placed all seven papers on the table in the lounge. Instantly, each paper was grabbed by a crew member and looked over. The ones that grabbed Maura, Kyler, Larry, Kurt, and Victoria's papers laughed at the little descriptions of the book, insulting the hell out of it.
Yasopp had Johnny's paper and raised an eyebrow as he read it. "The hell's the matter with this kid? I don't understand a damn word he's saying." he asked.
Lucky had Kurt's paper and laughed a little as he read out loud, "This book sucks." He turned to the rest of the crew and said, "Nice description of a book. Give this kid a good score."
Mihawk was the only one not laughing at the paper. In his hands was Elie's paper, but he wasn't looking at the words, but rather at the red blotches. "What's wrong with this 'Elie Morrow'?" he asked Shanks.
"All I know about her is that she drinks, smokes, and steals. Why?" Shanks asked.
"Her paper's covered in dried blood." Mihawk answered.
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A/N: Okay, that's chapter 2 of this story. I'm sure it didn't make that much sense, but I'm going to work on getting it better and possibly a little bit more humorous and serious. Oh, and Johnny's language is not one that I made up. It is a real language. Can anybody guess what it is?
Oh, and I'm not positive if Mihawk is a crewmember or not. I can't remember. Some people say he is while some say he isn't, so if I'm incorrect, please let me know.
R/R if you want, but please be nice. I'm trying really hard to get this to work.