ADDICTION
Disclaimer – Gilmore Girls don't belong to me. If I did, Lorelai never would've slept with Chris, let alone married the guy and Rory and Logan wouldn't have broken up for good at the end of the season. But if this Gilmore Girls Telemovie comes to pass, depending on how it goes I may forgive the shows creators for leaving it in the hands of David Rosenthal which ruined it all.
Summary - Addiction can be deadly and the road it leads you down can be even deadlier. Trory. Told from Louise's POV.
WARNING: Extremely AU!!! A story about drug addiction. Contains Rory/Tristan, Louise/Logan and brief mentions of Steph/Collin and Paris/Finn.
Necessary Background Information - Chris and Lorelai got married when they had Rory, so Rory grew up in Hartford, next door to Louise, and thus they became best friends. Tristan & Steph are step-brother and sister. Paris & Logan are brother and sister. (Honor and Madeline were not used as they did not fit appropriately for this story)
Reviews – Thank you toavidtroryfan, londonluver, starshine34, bubz22, Jackie, LeytonTilEnd, JXB0208, nk-number1actress, trorygirl, corruptedchic, Curley-Q, Nicole Katherine, peace love thc, d, Meredith McDreamy, veronicalogan, darkvixen06, Valtjuh, enviedxl0ve, darcy007, max.logan, Princess Mel & JustLikeAGilmore.
Posted by trorygirl on behalf of roryhuntzburger.
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ADDICTION
Chapter 11 - Numb
You either get depressed or just numb. Can you honestly imagine going through life knowing you'll never be happy on your own? Sure … you can pay for the drugs that will give it to you … but it's not the same. Human beings were meant to be happy.
All the years of drug use … it caught up to us. I mean, physically, we were disgusting, but emotionally, we were worse.
I remember looking into this mirror one time, and not recognizing myself. It was so scary. I had barely eaten the entire week, hadn't washed my hair, and had on an outfit that fit me when I was ten. I looked like an emancipated home wrecker. My thick eyeliner was dripping down my face, and I had a small trail of dried blood from one nostril.
I was disgusting.
You hear all about the glamorous side of doing drugs. You know, the tragically beautiful image of a person overdosing on the floor.
Let me tell you something asshole. It isn't beautiful. It's just tragic.
Tristan hit Paris. That was an issue we all couldn't get over. Logan finally came home, and I told him all about it. It pissed him off, but at the same time, he didn't care. He was just going to shoot up anyways and it'd all be over with.
It was then I realized I was alone.
I was surrounded by all these people who I thought I loved and loved me, when in reality, they didn't give a rat's ass about me. All they cared about was the fact that THEY weren't alone. Never mind the fact that there was no emotional bond between any of us (Except Tristan and Rory, of course) at all, we were bodies in the same room. They went weeks without acknowledging my presence. They didn't care about how much I was eating. They didn't care that I was sickly looking.
And that's what's sick. We'd shoot up, and we'd convince ourselves that it couldn't get any better than this.
"Holy shit." Paris hissed, one day, as she reached into the jar placed on the kitchen bench and pulled out all the money we had left.
Steph looked at her, blue eyes wide, as Paris counted it out loud. We needed that money. We couldn't access our accounts anymore knowing by now that our parents and the police would be able to track us down.
"We have less than a hundred dollars left."
Logan looked over at her with a worried expression on his face. I'm pretty sure his face only made two expressions. One was the worried one where he scrunched up his forehead. The second one was this dopey grin he made whenever he got off on drugs or I fuck— Yeah … never mind.
"That's impossible." A drowsy Rory called from the couch. "We had a thousand a week ago."
"What are we going to do?" Paris snapped loudly but then tensing noticeably as Tristan lifted up his head from the couch to glare at her.
"Where the hell did all the money go?" Steph said, clearly puzzled. "I know we did not blow a 1000 on drugs last week. Hell, I only did $40 worth." She sent a hard look around the room. "Who's been holding out on us?"
No one responded, but all our eyes casted automatically towards Tristan and Rory. They'd been out a hell of a lot. A hell of a lot.
"It doesn't matter," Rory groaned, burying her head in Tristan's neck, trying to sleep.
"Big night last night?" Steph asked, trying to hide the sarcasm in her tone.
Tristan lifted his head up at that. "What are you implying?" He growled, his dark blue eyes taking on the crazy look we had all gotten used to avoiding.
Steph didn't back down. Hell, she had been slapped by her step-dad, why not add her brother to the list. "Where the fuck is my money?" She said, as calmly as possible. "Don't lie to me Tristan. I know you took it. Where are the drugs? I want my cut."
"Shut up, Steph." Rory snapped. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."
This only succeeded in making Steph more mad. "I think I do! I'm going to have to start sellin' if we don't have enough money! Where the fuck is the cash, Tristan?"
Tristan stood up straight, bringing Rory up with him. "Don't you talk to me like that!" He roared. "You bitch, you sound just like William did!"
That seemed to set Steph off. She went eye to eye with him. "Of all the things of William's to pick up on, I'm glad it was talking like him." She narrowed her eyes and went in for the kill. "At least I'm not bashing my friend's brains out!"
She called him on it. Steph. The girl had balls. She called him on it.
He didn't dare argue with her. It was the truth, what she was saying. There was no use denying that.
There was this change … in his eyes. All the anger faded out of them and was replaced with this unreadable emotion. Rory seemed to be able to tell what he was feeling, and took his hand.
Her scars were healing nicely. Only a few of them were actually leaving marks.
"Let's go." He whispered, pulling Rory out the door. She was dressed in a tank top and a fading pair of panties, but no one was going to tell her to stop.
"He's ashamed." Steph said, matter of factly, still talking to the place where Tristan had just stood. She closed her eyes, almost like she was hoping this entire thing was a bad dream.
That was it. He was ashamed. He suddenly realized what he was turning into, and that was bringing him down.
He and Rory came back, later, after we had all gone out or gone to sleep. They snuck back in the room, and closed the door behind them.
I remember waking up on the couch, and just staring at the door. I was on the outside, and I couldn't even look in.
Rory was my best friend. My best friend. Look where she was now, because of me. Look how much she had lost. All because I dragged her to that stupid party.
We ran out of money at the end of the week. No one knew where it went, but no one dared asked. Rory and Tristan were totally reclusive—they talked to no one.
Lacking any other option, Steph pulled on the sluttiest outfit she had, pulled her hair up, applied way too much makeup, and set out. When she came back, she had 200 more dollars to add to the jar, which she hid in a different spot.
I was awake when she came back, and I remember looking at her with this look of pity in my eyes. I was remembering the time when we first met, her trying to be nice to me, fixing me a drink, grabbing my hand, pulling me to see Paris's reaction to first seeing Tristan and Rory. I thought I was so cool. I thought that I was so smart.
I was so fucking stupid.
She sat down next to me. "Hey." She whispered, not wanting to wake up Logan who was asleep in the other room.
"How'd it go?" I whispered back at her, scared to hear the reaction.
She smiled bitterly and shrugged her shoulders, avoiding my gaze. "It doesn't matter," She said at last, pain in her voice. "I have to support my family. I was the one that got expelled. I'm the reason we're here. It's the least I can do."
I remember thinking at the time "You idiot … it's not you that got us here … it's me. If I had never brought Rory to that party, we'd all be a lot better off."
I looked at her again, and noticed how tired she looked. I could see the dread radiating off her body, dreading tomorrow.
I would soon know how she would feel.
I volunteered to go with her. We would make twice as much money. It would be like, paying for my sins or something.
It's fucked up thinking, but I had to do it. I couldn't let Steph go through it alone, especially with it being my fault.
Rory offered to go too, but Tristan wouldn't let her. It was just me and Steph, patrolling our little street corner, waiting for people to pick us up.
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