Thirty Kisses: Meilin Li and Touya Kinomoto

Written by: Ciuline Ihmenjo

Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me. The characters in Card Captor Sakura do not belong to me. CLAMP owns CCS. Besides, even if you do try and sue me, I have no money.

From Start…

Just in case no one knows, since I think it is best left unsaid in the story, the gardenia signifies a secret love.

Please don't expect any continuity in my stories. These are 30 kisses. Thirty different themes. Thirty ways to show love and endearment. And a kiss is never the same

o()o If I Could Only Say I Love You o()o

30 Kisses Theme: Gardenia

The language of flowers is a delicate one indeed. Flowers do make one of the easiest possible gifts. It is astonishing that such a seemingly insignificant gesture can say so many words at once. A rose by any other color could spell the difference between friendship and love. Perhaps, it is the best way to show someone exactly what you feel for that person.

I'd love to stand at your doorstep with a bouquet of red roses, but I lack the courage to actually do so. Besides, isn't that the job of the male to do that sort of sappy romantic gesture?

Instead, I'm forced to keep laying these silly flowers on your doorstep.

Your sister has told me that you were perplexed at first. She says that you did not understand and that she didn't understand either. Of course, she couldn't know that it was me. Perhaps, deep down, she had realized something, but I think she would not betray my confidence in her in such a manner. She explains how you had even thrown my well-planned gift in the trash at first. It was what I expected. I had almost tuned her out.

Meilin-chan, do you really think that white goes well with that table?

White… table…?

Yes, do you think a vase of white flowers really goes with that table?

Astonishment crossed my face before I realized I was not in private. I quickly schooled my features into solemn thought, praying no one caught the slight slip. Of course, Tomoyo slipped me a knowing glance, but she quickly began to detail the best ways to bring out mahogany with white flowers and the proper-colored vase.

Why would you keep something so trivial if you don't understand the meaning? I find myself asking this over and over in my head. Perhaps I could understand better if I asked you myself, but again, I don't have the courage. Do you understand what I'm trying to say with this simple gesture? Every Sunday I study with your sister. Every Sunday, I return for the briefest of moments to lay one of those silly flowers on your front mat, a single ribbon tied about it in the most brilliant blue. I continue to send my complexly simple messages hidden in white petals. Because I'm too afraid to admit that I am too weak to express my own feelings.

Syaoran thought me silly. Even I thought myself that I was being silly, but he understood. Of course, he didn't find out until trailing me one night. That, though, is beside the point and perhaps best to save for another story and another time.

Gardenias would cost a pretty penny if I hadn't decided to take up gardening. I found the flowers were easy to grow under Wei's strict tutelage. He found it strange that I only wanted to grow such a challenging flower. Instead of trying to dissuade me, he guided me along until my room reeked not of potting soil and dying flora but of the sweet scent of bloom.

Which brings me to this night. To this doorstep. To the flower clutched in my trembling hands. And the open door in front on my face. The shocked look in your eyes.

"Li?" you ask, taking a couple of hesitant steps into the night air.

"Kinomoto," I reply. My feet carry me backwards in sync with your two steps out the door. I cannot help the sharp intake of air as my heart begins pounding in my ears. It beats even faster, and I'm so afraid you will hear it.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, trying not to shake myself through the front porch.

"Did you forget something?

I shake my head. "I… I had to talk to Sakura about something."

"Sakura went out with Syaoran a little while ago. Didn't you know?"

"Oh. Um… yeah." I take another step back as you extend a hand towards me. "Nevermind."

"I'm not going to bite." Your hand stretches further toward me. "It's freezing outside. Why not come inside?"

I shake my head vehemently. You take another step forwards. My feet send me backwards just as quickly. My back presses into the post supporting the overhang covering your porch. Suddenly, though, I can see past you. The light blue vase and the brilliant white blossoms within. My knees shake and I drop my precious cargo to the ground.

You follow it with your eyes and then settle your gaze on me. Suddenly, my feet are trying to go every direction all at the same time. And then, everything shifts. I can feel the porch against my knees. You are above me. You're so high in the air. I just can't seem to bring myself to my feet.

"Did you want to add that to the vase?" you ask softly.

"Kinomoto," I whisper, trying to stave the tears in my eyes. You aren't supposed to find out. You aren't supposed to know. Not this way.

You step towards me and I can only watch as you stoop down to pick up the flower. "I think I can understand this well enough," you say softly.

"Please, Kinomoto…"

You turn to me, extending a hand. Somehow, your eyes say that everything will be all right. In my petrified state, I can do little more than watch as you pull me to my feet. My knees instantly turn to putty. Suddenly, my face is warm. In fact, most of my body is warm. And I'm pressed tightly into you, where, for so long, I wished I could be.

"You know, you could just say it."

I shake my head, pursing my lips tightly together.

"Then let me return the gesture." You reach down and tilt my head upwards. Question fills your eyes and then, suddenly, nothing else exists.

I try to pull away. This still doesn't feel right. It's not supposed to happen like this. You are supposed to reject me like all the rest. But you aren't. In fact, you are accepting me. I think I'm scared. I need to flee, but I can't. My body refused to obey me. As if you can sense my motives, two arms encircle my body. They trap me against your chest as you press your lips to mine.

Explosions pale in comparison to the surge of heat that courses through my veins. Seconds turn into moments. Moments turn into forever. Forever turns into the sudden need for oxygen. I pull away, gasping for breath. You only smile, almost knowingly, and hold me at arms length. Producing the gardenia from behind my back, you slip the flower into my hair. I scowl at the somewhat childish notion.

"But… my gift…"

You wink. "Bring roses next time."

To Finish…

Second chapter down in what seems like a rather long-ish haul. At least it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm dreading those final few chapters where I'm just almost dying trying to think of a story to match the theme.

Although, I think that I need to make these longer. They seem more vignette than actual story.

See you next update: Ciuline Ihmenjo