Sorry, sorry, sorry it took me so long. It's just that- the first bit came out really great but I got stuck on the second one for ages…
I don't know why but I found that it's far easier for me to write the Draco bits. Each of them took on a different style and oddly enough I find myself more easily reacting to Draco (as OOC that he is here…).
..oo00oo..
Draco
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes on Christmas morning was a huge bottle of champagne resting against the pillow next to my head. My head was still spinning like mad from my reckless drinking last night and I wondered if my brain is playing cruel tricks on me. When I reached my hand and felt the cool glass surface of the dark green bottle I figured I wasn't dreaming. I rubbed the cobwebs out of my eyes and took another look at the bottle, seeing for the first time that there was a big cream coloured ribbon tied to the slender bottle-neck. A little note was attached to it, when I finally managed to focus my eyes on it, it read:
"Happy Christmas love, Here's something for your naughty little ideas." A slow smile spread on my face, sweet Pansy she remembered- even if I must admit I didn't.
After a vial of hangover potion, a refreshing shower and some clean clothes I went in pursuit of food. It was Christmas day and I felt great! And hungry.
"Good morning love, Happy Christmas." I smiled at my mother upon entering the dining hall. Both my parents sat in their places at the table, my father reading the paper and absently nibbling on toast and my mother humming quietly as she drank her tea and flipped absently through a magazine. Christmas day was the only time of year that my parents allowed themselves to sleep in late and read at the breakfast table. I really liked that lax atmosphere and my secret Christmas wish was always that we'd indulge in it all year long rather than only one day out of it, but as long as I could read at the table at school I was happy enough with things.
"Morning mother, father- Happy Christmas." I answered and sat down, immediately tucking into the plate the house-elf put in front of me,
"So, how did Pansy enjoy herself last night? Did she found her betrothed?" My mother looked up from her magazine, pleased to finally be able to conduct a conversation since my father seemed rather lacking the will.
"I seriously doubt it; you know how these things go." I answered good-naturedly, and mother smiled and shrugged, of course she knows, after all- she underwent the exact same ordeal. I hid a smile as I remembered Pansy's rant over Stephen Cornfoot. A vague memory plagued my brain for a second- did she really say that half the guys in the hall last night were lusting after my arse? I shook my head to rid of the ill timed thought and returned my attention to my mother,
"I remember when I was her age, in my coming out to society party," she said dreamily, eyes misting over and a small smile tugging the corners of her mouth, "It was so wonderful, the lights, the music, the boys…" she gave me a small wink and I wasn't sure whether to smile or cry. I lifted my head and caught the little frown that crossed father's brow, as he peered at her from behind his paper; perhaps he was thinking the same. Mother gave me a sad little look that I knew all too well, it spelled her longing for a girl in my stead, or maybe in addition. Mother never made a secret out of wanting a daughter, someone she could pamper and dress up in cute little dresses and such like.
For a moment I wondered what she'd say when she'd learn her only son isn't all that far from the girl she always craved, would we chat over boys and clothes? Fat chance! Something tells me she's more likely to toss me out of the house on my backside.
"So, are you planning on leaving today?" I asked, feeling the need to change the track of conversation and fast.
"Eager to see the door closed behind our backs?" she inquired with a smile. Nobody can be seething on Christmas morning, especially not one as beautiful as this, all white and sparkling.
"Of course not, but we always leave on Christmas morning." I pointed out and she sighed,
"Yes, but I was far too busy helping Amarelle with Pansy's party and I didn't have time to pack properly, therefore we shall be leaving tomorrow morning," I nodded and swallowed my mouthful hoping to cover up the fact that my heart just sank three feet down my system. Every hour here is delaying my reunion with Oliver and thus extending my agony. "I shall leave your gifts under the tree for you."
"Thank you mother." I said as sweetly and sincerely as I could. Some Christmas day this is shaping out to be, mother busy packing, father busy trying to slip unnoticed from the task and spend his time dodging mother and house-elves while trying to look too occupied to help and me, alone in my room, bored out of my arse. Jolly freeging wonderful.
A house-elf tiptoed his way to the room to announce that Miss Parkinson was waiting for me in my room. I looked up at mother, asking permission to leave the table,
"Go, dear, spend the day with Pansy, as of tomorrow you'd be all alone." I rose from my seat and gave her a big kiss on the cheek which made her chuckle and headed to my room in top speed.
When I entered my room I saw Pansy peering curiously at my Quidditch posters collection adorning the walls, the only sign in the room that a teenager is living there and not a middle-aged, neat freak.
"Morning, love." She said as I walked over to her and plastered a huge, sloppy kiss on her cheek, holiday season making me quite zealous I suppose, "To what do I owe the honour?" She giggled,
"To the fact you just saved me from what shaped up to be a very dull Christmas day. And also for the bottle of champagne, I don't even remember asking you for one."
"You were so plastered last night that I'm surprise you can even remember you own name." She poked my chest and flopped on the bed,
"You were very naughty, flirting with every cute guy in the room." She shot me a reproaching look and I gave her a disdainful glare back, "You were!" she chided me and I flopped on the bed next to her, I couldn't really argue, I hardly remember anything about last night. "Speaking of which, I just noticed a very curious thing," Pansy said conversationally,
"You have posters of Quidditch players and teams from all over the globe, but not a single picture of Oliver. I thought you'd have a wall full of him." Ok, if we're going to do the "Oliver worship" talk, I better make sure no one else hears it. I quickly cast a silencing charm on the room and locked the door. Not that I'm expecting either of my parents to show up but house-elves are the nosiest creatures alive and they report everything back to my mother.
"I never said I don't have any pictures of him," I informed Pansy leisurely, her eyes sparkling with mirth, "I just keep them someplace else."
"Ooh, you have a secret stash of Oliver photos? Any nude ones?" I rolled my eyes and accioed a box from my dresser. I unlocked the small wooden case and handed it to Pansy. She immediately began to rummage through them.
"Not really, but some of them are quite wank worthy."
"Oh, yes, that would explain the white stains." She said with a wide smirk and I smacked her arm,
"You're so vulgar!" I scolded her above her laughter, "Why are we even friends?" But I never got a reply because Pansy had just found The Photo.
"Sweet Merlin's three headed toad!" She breathed in awe, eyes so wide they were almost popping out of her head, "Where the hell was that published?"
"Boys and their brooms, spring issue of last year." I said and took the picture from her limp hand. This is by far my favourite, I must admit, and not only because it shows Oliver practically naked (after all, I've already seen what the rest of "Boys and their brooms" readers haven't), but mainly because it's so well posed. The photo showed Oliver holding a broom, the broom-tail neatly covering his naughty bits, and nothing more, all the movement in the picture is Oliver's head turning to face the camera, a slow smile spreading over his face and then a small wink. I can look at it forever, just racking my eyes over the perfect contours of his long limbs and his perfect muscles… oh, good gods, even now- with Pansy two feet from me, watching my every move I can feel the tightening in my trousers. I lowered the photo and cleared my throat, much to Pansy's amusement, "They were doing this Hot Quidditch players in the buff footage." I explained while the blush crept to my cheeks,
"Can I have it?" I looked at her scandalized,
"No!" that's just what I need, for my best friend to drool over my boyfriend's half naked picture, Oliver would have my head if he ever finds out,
"Not this picture silly- the magazine!" She cried and I visibly relaxed,
"Oh, sure." I pulled it from under my mattress and handed it to her, Pansy immediately burrowed in its pages looking like Christmas came early, or rather, planned to stay forever. "Fag hag!" I murmured and lied back, hands tucked behind my head,
"I heard that." She said without lifting her head,
"Good." I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, all this hot guys' talk made me rather hot and bothered and the images of Oliver surfacing in my mind did nothing to help my situation. I listened to rustle of pages and the little humming noises Pansy made when she found a hottie she particularly appreciated. This was so Pansy, she was ever the appraiser of the male form. At long last she put down the magazine and turned to me,
"Can I ask you something?" I cracked one eye open to see her looking at me, all serious and bothered, I shuffled to lean on my elbows, giving her my full attention,
"Sure."
"Last night, that really obnoxious bloke, that Spungen guy- you said he was Oliver's cousin." I did? Spungen guy… Oh, I remember now, that bastard who wanted me to prove I was a natural blond… I still think Daniel should have let me hex his balls!
"Yes, Edward Spungen is Oliver's father."
"So, that means the "muggle slut" is Oliver's mother?" I can see where this is going and I don't really like it, but then again, if we're already on that road, I better get it all out in the open, rather sooner than later,
"Yup, Eva, I can't wait to meet her, she sounds like a real character."
"Draco, she's a muggle!"
"I know." Pansy chewed her lip for a few seconds trying to figure out the best way to break through my nonchalance while I tried my best to stay calm and collected. I've come to terms with Oliver being a half-blood, and with the repercussions of that and now its time Pansy did too.
"You know what that means?"
"That Oliver's got two parents, like the rest of us?"
"He's a half-blood!" she shrieked, and thus the cat was out of the bag,
"Will you stop yelling? I know he's a half-blood."
"Do you have any idea how furious your parents would be?" For a moment I was fighting a wild laugh that threatened to escape me, is she shitting me?
"I was kind of hoping they'll be to busy harping over the fact he's a boy to notice." Pansy didn't seemed amused in the least, she looked like she's about to faint, or clock me one over the head. But instead she rose from the bed and started pacing the room clasping her fingers tight, every part of her agitated and shaken up. I felt sorry for her, I really did.
"A Gryffindor half-blood… I can't believe it…" She mumbled to herself over and over, "And I supported you, helped you out, I was your friend…"
"Does it mean you're not my friend anymore?" Her reaction startled me quite a bit, I knew she wouldn't be too happy to learn that Oliver wasn't a pure-blood but I never imagined she'd break down over it. Pansy stopped pacing and turned to face me, her eyes blazing with emotions and her face set,
"Fuck, Draco, a half-blood? I thought you had more style." Now it was my turn to jump up from the bed and face her with matching wrath, how dare she?
"Bloody hell, do you even know what you sound like? So what if Oliver is a half-blood! That doesn't make him any less decent or amiable or shagable! For the love of Gandalf, you were salivating over his picture not five minutes ago!" Pansy turned back and placed her hands over her ears dramatically,
"This is bloody blasphemy! Can't you hear yourself; do you know what you sound like? Decent? Amiable? Next thing you'll be casting your lot with the likes of Weasley and Granger!" I folded my arms over my chest, taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself,
"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" I hissed at her, "There is a long way between thinking that half-bloods can be humans too and consorting with Weasel-breath and Mudblood Granger." Some part of me, albeit deep and small actually has a lot of appreciation to Granger, or at least her intellect. Not that I would ever mention it to Pansy, or myself, really.
"What the hell happened to you? Did Wood cast a bloody Imperius on you? Since when is the heir of the Malfoy house so understanding?" Pansy's face were white and grim and I could see the fear in her eyes, she looked like her whole world was coming down crushing around her ears, and in a way it did, but I made my choice a while ago and I'm not about to back from it. I'm just not about to broadcast it worldwide either.
"Look at me Pansy, just look at me!" I pleaded her, "I'm a fag who's in love with a half-blood and who doesn't believe in the raving madness that is the Dark Lord! I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm my father's greatest disappointment since the Dark Lord failed to kill baby Potter!" Pansy shrieked in fear and started pacing again, looking on the verge of tears, but I had little sympathy for her- this is my life, this is what I have to deal with every day and this is what defines me right now. And I have a feeling that none of it is about to change soon.
"This is bad," she mumbled, shooting frightened glances around her, as if the walls might turn against her, "This is really, really bad. This is everything we've been taught to believe in."
"Then maybe it's time we learn something new- like thinking for ourselves." I said in a flat voice and sat heavily on my bed. Pansy came over to sit next to me, practically collapsing.
"I'm not sure I want to." She said in a small voice, her eyes cast on the floor. I took her hand and gently squeezed it, feeling how clammy it was,
"Pansy, are you going to let your parents control every bit of your life? Who you're going to marry? What you're going to do, think and say?" Her eyes were still fixed firmly on the floor but I could see a little sad smile tugging at the corner of her mouth,
"It's easier that way." I closed my eyes briefly, I knew she understands what I'm saying, but she was voicing every last argument I myself used in the past. It felt eerily like fighting with my own conscience again,
"It's cowardly." I told her, just like I did myself not so long ago, "Are you going to accept the Dark Mark when school is out? Do want to end up like my aunt Bella? Stark raving mad and locked away Azkaban for life?"
"I don't know!" She cried passionately, "I don't know! I don't know!" she repeated over and over again, panting heavy, face stricken with tears, "I'm scared Draco, I really am. I don't want to turn my back on my family, become disowned and knutless, but..."
"You don't believe in the Dark Lord either." I finished quietly for her. Pansy took a sharp breath through her nose,
"But he's right, Draco, we do need to protect our way of life, you know that."
"Yes, but not from other magical folk!" I insisted hotly, "Pansy, if we didn't interbreed with muggles we'd cease to exist! The pure blood is too weak! And half-bloods are just as strong and able as we are. The Dark Lord has long forsaken "The Cause", can't you see that? Can't you see what he's turned into? A madman who's out to get revenge of Dumbledore and Potter! Can't you see where he's dragging us all? And don't get me wrong, I hate Potter, I really do, for more reasons than you'll know but the Dark Lord isn't out for protecting pure-bloods and our way of life, this is about personal vendetta and we're just too bloody scared to stand up to him!" By the time I finished my little speech I was panting and Pansy looked torn between admiration and fear.
"So what are you saying?" She whispered, afraid to hear the answer, yet unable to hold back,
"That I won't be in the least bit sorry if Potter offs him." Pansy gasped with a sharp intake of breath but I refused to avert my gaze, and fixed her with a steely gaze,
"How can you say that?" Her voice was small and trembling, "You'd lose everything."
"I have a feeling I've lost everything long before now." I told her gravely, she looked puzzled so I elaborated, "Pansy, you know my parents- I'm going to be shamefully disowned the moment they learn about my sexual orientation."
"No, they won't." she argued, trying to grasp the last straws of her belief, but I knew we were just passing water here, the grain of doubt was planted in her and it's soon going to flourish and take hold of every bit of her soul twisting into every nook and cranny like a vine. "As long as you marry well and produce an heir, they wouldn't give a toss what you do with your prick." Technically she was right, I could make it work, with no more than the loss of all my parents' respect and affection, but that was just the easy way out.
"And this is exactly what I'm not going to do. I can't marry some poor girl only to have her knocked up while I'm frolicking in gay bars!" the moral and ethical aspect of things aside, I could never bring myself to actually have sex with a woman; a few snogs with Pansy confirmed that beyond doubt. Not that she's a bad kisser, far from it, but touching a girl… EW…
"Why not, arranged marriage is never about love, you know that."
"Yes, but I'm a man of habits, I like what I know and I know what I like, and what I like is Oliver. And I doubt he'll ever consent to being my mistress." From some reason the mental image that popped in my head was of Oliver waiting for me in a brothel looking room wearing a sating night-robe decorated with feathers. This nearly made me choke on my laughter.
"Will you ever tell your parents?" She asked and shrugged,
"Eventually, I guess. Right now I need to sort out things with Oliver."
"What sort of things?" Oops, did not mean to say that one aloud. "Is that what you wanted to tell me yesterday?" It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her everything, Merlin knows the mood was just right for heavy confessions, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell her things I didn't fully understand myself, things I tried not to think of in the last couple of days, even though I couldn't stop going over them in my head. I need to see Oliver, I need to feel him in my arms again and then everything will sort itself out.
"It doesn't matter. I can't tell you, not without talking to him first." Pansy nodded. She didn't look too happy and I knew why, this was the first time we held things from one another, this was the first time there was someone more important to one of us than we were to each other. But that was bound to happen at some point, I didn't plan to stay celibate for the rest of my life, and I always knew I wanted one person to be with, namely Oliver. Besides, there was always the tiny, slim chance that Pansy would actually find herself a boyfriend…
We sat in silence for a while, each contemplating what was said. I for one was actually glad I told Pansy how I feel; it was like having a load off my chest. Because confessing to Oliver that I hated the Dark Lord wasn't quite as frightening as to do it in front of Pansy, after all, Oliver never expected me to follow my father's footsteps.
"Come on," I called and pulled Pansy to her feet, "Let's go play in the snow for a bit, before you return to your family and I have to work on my best miserable face for my parents." She laughed a little shakily but raced me to the door all the same.
..oo00oo..
Oliver
I was pacing back and forth in my living room, feeling rather angst and worried. I owled Draco this morning with all the details he needed in order to find my apartment, but heard nothing from him in return. I told myself that I would not panic before six p.m. as we didn't specify a meeting time but now it was 06:05 and I am well beyond anxious. What if his parents prevent him from coming here, lock him in his room with no modes of external communication? I did encrypt my owl so that only Draco could read it, but still. What if he left to Switzerland without telling me? What if he did make it to London but got lost in the muggle city? What if aliens came and kidnapped him and now are performing hideous experiments on his person up in their ship? Oh, gods, this sort of situations are hardly good for my mental health.
After what felt like a year of pacing but was actually only six minutes according to the clock- I really should have this clock checked- I decided there was nothing for it and pulled on my cloak, I was going to search for Draco. Just as I opened the door, ready to plunge on and submit myself to the rough London streets I found Draco standing on my threshold, hand raised to knock. I stared at him for several seconds but when he wouldn't vanish I pulled him tight against me, wrapping my arms around his lithe form with a huge sigh of relief.
"Oliver, air." He chocked out in a wheezy gasp after a while and I loosened my arms but didn't release him, Draco's face emerged from my chest, flushed pink and panting. I proceeded to shower small kisses on his face, gods but I missed him so much, especially after the way we left things five days ago.
"Are you going to stand here at the door and ravish me for the neighbours to see or are you going to give me the tour of the place?" I pretended to ponder his offer for a few seconds,
"Mm, bugger the neighbours." I finally declared and continued to smother him with kisses; Draco was squirming and laughing in my arms,
"Ollieeee." He wailed and I finally released him,
"Ok, ok," I pulled him inside and closed the door. I turned Draco in my arms and hooked my chin on his shoulder, "Welcome to my humble home," I said as his gaze took in the place, not that there was much to take, really, "This is the living room," I gestured around at where we stood, "Over there is the kitchen and dining area, the bathroom is that way," I pointed to the little corridor that led from the main living space, "And the bedroom is next to the bathroom." I concluded and Draco nodded politely, he was clearly disappointed… Well, it's not like I can afford anything much bigger, even with a professional Quidditch player salary- the changing rate of pounds and galleons is astronomical and don't even get me started on the rent prices of flats in the centre of London…
"That didn't take too long." He observed and I smiled and hid my face in his shoulder,
"Yes, well…"
"So, no guest room?" I lifted my head to see the amused twinkle in his eyes and tightened my grip on his waist,
"I'm afraid not, you'll have to share."
"Hmm, I suppose." He said absently and I nuzzled the side of his neck. I never thought I'd miss touching him this much, after all- while in school we usually didn't have any physical contact during the week, but then again, we did see each other every day in mealtimes and the halls and now I had to endure five days with only my memories and my right hand to accompany me.
"Come on, let's get you settled," I offered, "Where are your things?"
"My pocket." He said and trailed after me towards the bedroom, looking curiously around. I wondered if it's because he never saw such a small apartment (in his standards anyway) or because he thought the décor was hideous (which it isn't!).
"I've cleared half a wardrobe for you." I told him and he raised an eyebrow at me,
"Half?"
"Yes, isn't it going to be enough?" I asked suspiciously, we've got barely two weeks before returning to Hogwarts, how much clothes does one carry around for two weeks? Draco pulled three shrunken trunks from his pocket and placed them neatly on the floor before swishing his wand at them. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked…
"Bloody hell, Draco, please tell me that at least one of these is your school trunk…"
"Of course, this one." He pointed the smallest chest and I smiled feebly, half a wardrobe would never be enough. Draco tapped his finger over his chin, eyeing the wardrobe and the trunks trying to figure out a way to arrange his clothes and I decided it was an excellent opportunity to not get involve in this mess.
"Ok, lovely, you figure out where to put all your stuff while I get us something to eat. How does pizza sounds?" Draco looked at me with a slight frown,
"Pizza?"
"It's a muggle food, flat bread-like dough with tomato sauce and cheese and toppings." I explained and his eyes narrowed at me,
"I know what a pizza is." He said in a voice mixed between hurt and boredom but I refused to let him ruin my good mood,
"Great, so what toppings would you like?"
"What choices do I have?" I scratched my nose absently and then started ticking off topping on my fingers,
"Olives, mushrooms, tomatoes, anchovy, pineapple…" Draco stopped me with a little gasp,
"Pineapple?"
"Yeah, I know, it's a real mystery…" I smiled and resisted dragging him into a snog again, because I knew that if I'd tackle him now he'd make me help him sort his trunks later and I really didn't feel like doing that.
"Hmm, I don't know, Olives I guess."
"Green or black?" Draco rolled his eyes in exasperation,
"Merlin, this pizza thing is complicated… green."
"Great, then I'll get half green olives and half mushrooms. See you in a tick." I said cheerfully and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. I left him to his business while walking to the kitchen to look for the pizza's phone number and place our order. After doing that I took out plates and glasses and a bottle of pumpkin juice (I don't think Draco is quite ready for Coca-Cola yet) out to carry to the living room, and had a momentary hesitation in front of the cutlery drawer, should I offer Draco the choice of a fork and a knife or not? On the one hand, he's a snobbish rich-boy, so eating with his hands is something he's probably not very used to, but on the other hand… eating pizza with a fork and a knife? That's just bloody embarrassing. Eventually I pulled out utensils for him, he'll decide whether to use them or not.
When the dinner preparations were done I went back to the bedroom, poking my head around the door to see what creative ideas Draco came up with, and to my astonishment I found myself staring at two wardrobes. I stood gaping at the big wooden closet that was filling what felt like half the room and then at Draco's over pleased and beaming face. Before I could protest or even say a word the doorbell rang.
I walked over to the door with Draco on toe to greet the delivery boy. While I handed him money I noticed he was gazing at Draco, who stood behind me next to the sofa. The delivery boy had the nerve to give a sultry smile and a little wink before I slammed the door in his face. The impudence of some people!
We settled on the sofa and I handed Draco a plate, to my surprise he didn't have many qualms about eating with his hands, but even that he did in a way that was far too dainty to be casual. He did look cute, though. I turned on the telly and started flipping through the channels, if we're going to go muggle for the next couple of weeks, Draco better get used to the ultimate muggle activity- sloshing about and loitering in front of the telly.
Unfortunately there was nothing interesting on TV, being the day after Christmas meant that all the channels still pumped ridiculous Christmas stuff that were absolutely of no interest if you happened to be above the age of five.
"Oliver, can we talk?" He asked quietly and my fingers froze over the remote control's buttons for a second. We should talk, we need to talk, but gods I really don't want to.
"Sure." I said and turned the TV off. I took a moment to drink some juice and compose myself before I settled for the "Talk". Draco looked just as uncomfortable as I did, and from some reason it made me feel a little better. I waited for Draco to speak first, because I didn't know what to say. He was chewing on his bottom lip, clearly lost for words, his gaze firmly fixed on the leftover crust of his pizza. Or at least that's what I saw from the corner of my eye as I was holding my glass of juice like a drowning man, this was awkward.
"I… I'm really sorry, I was a complete wanker and I shouldn't have tried to coax you into something you aren't comfortable with," And there it was, one simple statement from him and I'm back to feeling like seven kinds of moron, just like I did the last time we were together. I don't deserve him, I know I don't. I must have been a saint in my previous life or something to earn such love and such a wonderful man. "I mean, it was really selfish of me to put you on the spot like that." He finished, still not looking at me. I studied his face intently, trying to read behind the words, but it wasn't easy.
"Draco, are you on something?" Draco's head snapped up and he finally looked at me. Cheeks tainted with discomfited pink.
"What do you mean?"
"How come you're so understanding?" I asked because it just wasn't him; it wasn't my Draco, the one that is arrogant enough to take what he wants and not accept no for an answer.
"Would you rather I rant and bitch that you don't fulfil my sexual needs?" he asked bitterly, and I sighed,
"Would it make you feel better?" I hoped it wouldn't but right now I was rapidly entering the stage of self loathing and if he did start to verbally abuse me I would just egg him on. Draco studied my face for a moment, taking in the clenched jaw and the pale complexion.
"I doubt it." He said quietly and I nearly broke down, he's retreating to denial again. Slipping gracefully back to that little cosy corner of oblivion where everything has pretty colours and no one asks you difficult questions. Well, I didn't grow up with a therapist for a mother for nothing and Draco isn't going to avoid the subject forever, even if the problem is, in fact, mine and he shouldn't even be burdened with it.
"Look, lovely…" I wasn't even sure what I was about to say next when he cut me sharply,
"Forget it, Ollie, it's not important!"
"Damn it Draco! It is! It is important." I argued. Draco averted his eyes and bowed his head and I slumped back against the sofa cushions, pinching the bridge of my nose, "Everything is so complicated all of a sudden," I said in a quiet voice almost to myself. "You do realize that before you, quite literally, bumped your way into my life I hardly ever speared a second thought to the bloke I was shagging?"
"I know." He whispered, still refusing to look at me, but I guess it was easier that way.
"And then I went to Berlin and everything changed." I said, eyes fixed on the black television screen.
"What do you mean?" I nearly smiled at the curious tone in his voice, it was so sweet.
"I missed you like crazy. I was moping for Merlin's sake!" I decided to leave the Charlie bit out, hopefully it would be something neither of us have to deal with ever again.
"Is that why you were a right bitch when you came back?" His eyes bore into me with an amused expression on his face and I simply couldn't be angry for the obvious cheek,
"I just underwent the hardest couple of weeks of my life only to come back and see you snogging someone else." Draco flushed at that, and it made me feel even better to know that he feels guilty over it.
"For the record, it was Michael's bizarre idea to get us back together." He stated firmly and I smiled, sure it was. "Guess he got tiered of hearing me moping about you."
It was quite enough for me, and I pulled him into my arms snogging him silly, it was far too long since I last did that. Draco responded to me in earnest, so willing and so compliant. Part of me wanted him to reject me, to still be mad at me for screwing things up so royally but in the same time I was quite glad he was mine again. I pulled Draco on top of me and rested my head against the sofa cushion. I've never had a chance to just launch around the living room and make out with my boyfriend before.
All my prior relations were so different from this one, and it felt weird. This was the normal way for things to suppose to happen, something I've been dreaming of when I was fifteen, before things really started to happen, and before I lost all sense of innocence when it came to other men. And now I found Draco, who is still so innocent and trusting and wants nothing more than to be with me and cuddle me and love me for all its worth. Can I overcome the nothingness inside to love him back the way he deserves? Or is this just gong downhill from here on.
I tucked Draco's head under my chin and looked up at the ceiling; I'm not going to botch this chance, because I know I would never get another again. I'm just going to have to finally fight my demons and win!
"I'm going to talk to Eva about this." I said quietly and resolutely, and Draco stirred against me, so I guess now I can't take it back.
"Are you sure it's a good idea, to talk to your mother about it?" I looked down at him, confused, before replaying my own words in my mind,
"No, I didn't mean talk to her about… things. You see, Eva is a muggle therapist, one of the best in the field, and I'm going to ask her to give me a name of one of her friends. It'll be incredibly weird to talk to her; she is sort of my mother after all."
"Sort of?"
"Wait till you meet her." I promised him with a slight smirk, I have a feeling these two will click right away. At least I hope she wouldn't run him away, she is quite capable of that. "How about we go to bed, this day has been long enough." I suggested, but Draco shook his head,
"Not before a shower," he declared, "This pizza is stinking something fierce. I feel it clogging my pores, oozing…"
"Ok, ok," I cut his rant short with a laugh, "I get the idea, no more pizza for you. Next time we order Chinese." I pushed him gently off me and he stood up, "Go shower, be happy." I greeted him with a generous are gesture. Draco smiled and then extended a hand to me,
"Aren't you coming?" I glanced at him quite gob smacked, this is not something I was banking on right now. I wasn't too sure this would be a good idea but before I could voice my concerns Draco said with a little sad smile, "Not for sex or anything, it's just that, you stink too." He finished with a wide smirk and my jaw dropped at his words. I rose from the sofa and attacked his ribs,
"Why you little brat!" Draco squirmed and tried to get away from my grip, giggling like mad. We continued out little tickle fight all the way to the shower, shedding our clothes on the way. By the time we got to the shower the path between the living room and bathroom was littered with clothes. We stood under the hot spray of water, Draco's back pressed against my chest and our hands entwined. While normally a situation like that would lead me straight to sex, and preferably kick my bed partner out right afterwards, tonight was different. I was content just holding Draco, wrap my arms around him and burry my nose in his wet hair. Draco let his head slump on my shoulder and gave me a sideways look,
"It's really not fair that you are so tall." He said someone forlornly and I grinned, nuzzling his neck,
"Sorry if my superior height is making you feel small." I trailed a hand down his abdomen and was rewarded with a sharp elbow in my guts. I chocked on my own laughter and held Draco tighter, to prevent any serious injury to myself.
When we were through messing around in the shower we went to the bedroom, after a moment's hesitation we both went to the wardrobe to pull out a pair of pyjamas bottoms. We've been sleeping in the buff ever since that night when we got together but tonight it didn't feel quite right. We settled under the covers, and Draco snuggled close to me, while I wrapped my arms around him. I ran my fingers up and down the length of his back, not quite ready to stop the sweet teasing when I felt little feathery kisses on my shoulder and smiled. I pulled Draco up for another sweet kiss, my hands doing their best not to wonder under the waist band of his trousers, because that would be quite inappropriate. I pulled Draco up to me so I could ravish him properly when he interrupted the kiss rather rudely with a huge yawn.
"Hmm, sorry, Ollie." He grinned sheepishly and I smiled,
"Had a rough day?"
"You wouldn't believe, I had to drag all three trunks all the way out of the manor's wards." I pulled back a little and looked at him suspiciously,
"Why did you have to drag them out?" Draco looked up with wide eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights, oh, no what had he done now?
"Because my parents forbade me from using magic while they're gone…" I closed my eyes and let my head drop back, fuck, fuck, fuck.
"You didn't get permission to come here." I stated and he shook his head slowly, looking intently at my shoulder.
"It's just that, we sort of had an argument, and…"
"Stop," I cut him mid-sentence, "I don't want to know. As far as I'm concerned you have your father's approval and your mother's blessing." I said firmly. The less I know of the troubles he landed himself into, the less I would have to hide later.
"Alright." He grinned wide and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his middle and turned him around so I could spoon behind him, my nose buried in his soft, fragrant hair.