War of a Moment, Love of a Lifetime

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not, and will never own the characters or the company of the Zelda series.

Link scowled as he sat on a bench in the castle gardens. For some reason or another Zelda had ordered him out of the castle. The whole time she had been mumbling something manners, finery, and new clothes. Tch. Typical girl. She hadn't seemed to have gotten over his little stunt that he'd pulled the previous day.

"Lord Duncecap?" the voice was cold with no tone whatsoever- like ice. Link made a face and glanced over at the blonde princess. Perhaps it hadn't been such a great idea to try and get on her nerves the first day. He probably should've put it off until the second day at the very least.

"Yes?" He responded.

"Yes, Princess." Zelda prompted.

"Sure, whatever." Link shrugged, pleased to see her face lose just the slightest bit of it's composed mask.

"Your highness." Zelda raised her brows as if she were conversing with a young child.

"Sure, whatever- Princess." Link ground the words out, wishing for Malon to come and save him from the wrath of the Ice Queen. Which he'd brought upon himself, but that besides the point.

"Good enough. As I have pointed out to you before, your people skills need serious refinement, you need to use proper etiquette, and you must learn self defen-" Zelda began to lecture before being cut off by Link.

"I get to use a sword?" His voice was cheery once more.

"Verbal defense, my Lord. Royalty cannot just go off and clash swords with anyone." Zelda shook her head in a disbelieving manner, which he supposed was the closest he'd get her to being annoyed so early in the day. "Honestly, what are they teaching you peasants these days?"

Link couldn't help his sour expression. She said peasant as it were some contagious disease. Spoiled little brat. "Royals are heroes of sort, bravely leading battles, giving charity to those in need, and making public appearances to make peace with us 'peasants'- Princess. Their actions are in our best interests, and it their duty to rule our country fairly and justly."

Zelda let a laugh escape her and her eyes twinkled in amusement. "Is that truly what they educate you peasants with nowadays?"

"Umm… yeah?" Link offered, thrown for a loop with her friendly mirth. Perhaps there was hope for her yet.

Zelda's brief moment of humanity vanished and her brows drew together in what could have been a frown. "It's not true. Not a word of it. Bear in mind that you will not give a cent away or show your faces in a time of need or danger. Follow the example of those around you. Though they are cowards- every single one of them." A rant. She was definitely gaining some semblance of humanity under his guiding hand.

Sweet.

This time Link raised his brows up in mild shock and curiosity. "Oh, and what of you Princess Zelda?" He prodded, hoping to be rewarded with that laughter again, or maybe another human-like rant. Sadly, he received neither.

Zelda eyed him stonily. "You are to meet a woman, Impa, inside the dining hall. I recommend you leave now lest you be late, my Lord."

Link frowned again, a bit perplexed as she began to walk off, not bothering to spare him another glance as she vanished into the castle. He grumbled as he walked along and kicked a small stone with unnecessary force.

Tch. Girls. He'd never understand them.

God. He needed something constant at that moment. And directions. Where the hell was the dining hall supposed to be?

Where was Malon when you needed her?

Several hours after being lectured, slapped, and beaten over the head by Impa; Link saw Zelda again. And, like a typical girl, she was being unpredictable.

Well, maybe more vicious than unpredictable.

And she was wielding a vicious looking silver weapon in her hand.

And it was shiny. AND she was waving it around in his face.

"Do you see this?" Zelda asked, her voice no longer as cool and controlled as it once was. In fact, he would've thought it threatening if not for the fact that he'd yet to do anything wrong.

"Ummm… Yes?" Links expression became one of fear and perplexity, his eyes following every movement of the dangerous looking contraption she was holding.

"Yes, what?" Zelda prodded, nearly stabbing him with that vicious thing in her hand.

"Yes, highness." Link said quickly.

"Good. Identify it." Zelda said, retracting the object from his arm and holding it on display in front of him as if he were nothing more than a small child. Not much better than her previous chastising.

"Miniature pitchfork, highness." Link responded.

"Goo-" Zelda began to set the object down, but she stopped and looked at him oddly, lifting it once more for his scrutiny. "Once more."

Was there something wrong with his pronunciation? "Miniature pitchfork, highness." Link said, still confused. The princess dropped the miniature pitchfork.

"Miniature pitchfork? Oh, dear Nayru, no no no…." Zelda held back a groan of hopelessness and held her face in her hands.

"Is it a weapon?" Link inquired, hoping to prove that he wasn't completely hopeless. Seeing the Princess so thoroughly distressed was almost as bad as the Princess looking inhuman.

"It is called a FORK. You use it to eat." Zelda explained slowly, picking her head up and settling him with a blank stare. He could tell she was doing her best not to betray her regret at bringing him there. Too bad for her.

"Why would you possibly use a pitchfork to eat? Your hands work well enough." Link said, wondering if this was just some practical joke as he tapped the "fork" on the table rather roughly. "What do you do, hammer your food to smithereens?"

Zelda nearly gasped in horror.

"You shall be set up with an array of utensils." Zelda began, looking quite distracted as she surrounding Link with various deadly looking objects. "A meal will be given to you l and you shall display for me how you eat." How on earth did one manage to eat without utensils?

"But…why?" Link was still confused.

"Good god, Link. You must learn proper etiquette-at least the names and uses of utensils- if you plan to rule Hyrule." Zelda stated firmly. Link sighed. He didn't suppose that she could just revert back to being an Ice Queen. No, he just had to go and fish out the human Zelda. He could've kicked himself.

Link blinked in confusion. "I thought I just needed to be smart..."

"Etiquette at least makes you look smart," Zelda growled. Yup, he definitely should've just left her alone from the get-go. Was she implying that he wasn't smart? Brat.

However, Link complied, albeit unsurely, and began to eat.

Not halfway into the meal, Link was interrupted by Zelda squawking at him. He nearly dropped the utensil he was bringing to his lips in shock. Was that a Malon-like squawk coming from the reserved and collected Princess?

"ACK! What are you doing?" Yes, it certainly was.

"Huh?" Link blinked once more, this time in sheer ignorance. He'd managed to deduce that she had in fact squawked, but he hadn't quite managed to figure out why.

"You don't drink with a knife, idiot!" Zelda shouted.

Suddenly, Link was subjected to the easily provoked rage of royalty. For something as simple as putting his knife in his wine goblet. Honestly, who got mad about that? He hadn't even known the dangerous looking thing had been called a knife.

But for a moment, Link rejoiced. It was like Malon. Unintelligible scolding that he could drown out. Fantastic! Yet another sign that Zelda was human and therefore manageable.

Link yelped and drew back as he felt Zelda's gloved hand collide with his cheek. Hard. He lifted a hand to his cheek as he looked at the Princess opposite him in shock.

Never mind. She wasn't like Malon at all. Nor was she manageable.

"I'm not stupid. I know you aren't listening and I'm wasting my breath on you. You didn't hear a word I just said did you?"

"Huh?" Link was acting stupid, yet again. Was this… yelling? Simply amazing, not only did Zelda squawk, but now she yelled.

Zelda grabbed fistfuls of her own hair and tugged in frustration. "Sir. At least know this much..."

"Yeah?" Link prodded when she fell silent, undoubtedly questioning whether or not she'd have to slap him again to get his attention.

"If you must, you can just stick your knife in your shoe, so long as it's not your drink it should be fine. The fork you can ignore if you can't figure out how to use it. Most of them are basically for decoration anyways. In the presence of others if you MUST drink, you use your spoon to drink- got it?" Zelda explained, her tone going back to its familiar composed state.

Link was laughing hysterically and Zelda was looking like a child caught doing something bad. At first Link hadn't known what to think or do.

Impa had come up behind Zelda and whacked her on the head, hard, when she heard Zelda's little utensil survival guide advice.

"Silly girl. Haven't you paid attention to what I taught you? I'm not stupid. I know you probably weren't listening and I was probably wasting my breath on you. You probably didn't hear a word I just said did you?" And after that Zelda had been whacked yet again.

She was definitely manageable.

A/N: How do you like this story? Thank you for all the kind reviews, I love you all- you keep me going. Sorry for the lateness, school has kept me running in frantic circles. Review please, inspire me to keep writing. I'm lame; I feed off of praise and criticism. Until next time!

Cappucinno