Chapter two, here it comes. Been sitting in my computer for a while; I'm only up to chapter three currently, but I hate having to make the few people watching this wait. See, it picks up after chapter three and the visits end - ooh, but I can't say anymore, I'll spoil it. Just read:D

Finding Heaven

Chapter Two: Helping Along

He thought about her often.

It wasn't that she was much worth thinking about – he had a vague notion she was just another average (or below, depending on how he interpreted his short time in her presence) kunoichi girl. But he couldn't help it, because she really was the only thing worth thinking about in his existence.

In all actuality, it wasn't exactly she was the only thing worth thinking about, but she was – in all truth – the only thing that didn't hurt to think about. Everything he was familiar with hurt. Parents. Home. Zabuza.

No, all he had was a sword and a little cross that was completely bare and starting to rot. And a pink haired girl who didn't make Haku feel bad to think about.

After she left, he had almost asked her to stay (even if he knew she wouldn't hear him, but it still felt like if he had, she would have), because no one else would visit for a long, long time, but he was immobilized, paralyzed by nothing in particular except the cold (it was always so cold on days like that, and only the hot days gave any warmth at all, but still, the cold reminded him in its own painful way that he was still real).

But he couldn't stand up, not for the life of him (a strange paradox, sort of), and then she was gone, over the distance and she probably wouldn't come back.

So he was content (or very good at fooling himself into thinking so) sitting against the cross and reflecting.

Haku pieced together that the girl's name was Sakura. The copy ninja – Kakashi? Her sensei, in the least – had called her the smartest, so she was probably a strategist. Tsunade, the legendary healer… she had most likely gone out to the legendary woman for power. He didn't know much about the woman other than her amazing medical capabilities and superhuman power. He could still read into the girl, though.

The girl – Sakura – her teammates were Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. The Uchiha had the sharingan. Orochimaru… the name had seemed familiar, but Haku couldn't place it and it had long since turned into an annoying itch in the back of his mind.

That Naruto wasn't one to be underestimated, though. Haku still didn't understand where his amazing chakra boost had come from. It was a mystery he didn't have the strength nor will to truly put into solving it. So he left the itches in the back of his mind as itches, and nothing more.

Back to the girl. Smart. Not ugly. Lacked strength. Obviously going through some sort of self transformation – the first he had seen her, she was putting on a brave front to protect the bridge builder, but her long hair and pretty little kunoichi dress as well as a little more than friendly care for the Uchiha had shown her to be maybe a little vain. But still a child with a heart.

Then she came back with her hair all chopped off. Her clothes were darker – a dark, almost black sleeveless, collarless shirt, a white circle stitched onto the back, probably newly sewn on judging from the bright, new white color. Navy pants, closing in on her calves like a regular shinobi. Her hitae-ate was still there as a headband rather than across her forehead, but not much of a difference of color to the rest of her apparel.

Haku wanted to ask her what she was mourning, a colorful spirit wearing such cold, colorless colors, but he couldn't, so he didn't dwell on it.

And she seemed a little less ecstatic about the dark haired boy, kinder about the blonde.

He read into her actions too much and began to form conclusions, thinking about her too much to be healthy, and when he thought so, he'd begin to think of her teammates and came to the same predicament, and so move on to the next until he got back to her and such it went.

-

She stopped to pop her knee for a moment and then continued walking with her makeshift team towards Konoha, towards home.

"That was easier than I thought it'd be," Sakura remarked. Kiba smiled his trademark grin that alarmingly resembled a wolf.

"As if! That was super easy."

"Kiba-kun… that might be because… Sakura-chan was, well, using her chakra to keep you healthy so you weren't injured," Hinata pointed out quietly, her own little way of teasing and reprimanding her teammate, who snorted in turn. The shy girl was more at ease around her teammates, and eventually it turned to Sakura as well.

"Yeah, Kiba-kun," Sakura prodded as well, using the more familiar suffix than her normal 'san.' Kiba snarled playfully – or at least, Sakura hoped – but then laughed wolfishly like he so often did. Akamaru licked her face – he was getting bigger, but not big enough to not be held by a girl, namely Sakura – and his tail wagged and Sakura giggled a little.

"Oh, what's today? I completely lost track," Sakura muttered, ceasing to scratch Akamaru behind the ears, who whined for attention again.

"Three days since the new moon," Shino's rather mysterious voice floated up. Sakura contemplated for a split second, then smiled and nodded in thanks.

"What's so special about today?" Kiba questioned, half interested.

"Not today, tomorrow," Sakura said with a light grin that wore off. "Kakashi-sensei and I have something to do. I just hope he isn't on a mission."

And as luck turned out, he wasn't.

Entering the village and turning in her mission report took little time for Sakura to complete, and she went off hunting for her sensei – first here, then there, off searching for possibly the only man in the whole village who understood the reason for her quest.

Finally, upon reaching (of course; why hadn't she thought of this sooner?) Ichiraku Ramen Stand, the man was just standing up and paying for his small meal.

"Kakashi-sensei!" The copy ninja turned around and, upon finding his young pupil whom he hadn't tutored for some time, raised his hand in greeting.

"Sakura-chan, hello. What brings you here?" He slid off the smooth surface of the wooden stool and strolled leisurely towards her.

"Well, do you have a mission tomorrow?" The oddity of the question made the man raise his one visible eyebrow.

"I just got back yesterday, so I d-"

"I know, I checked." The mischievous look in his remaining student's eye returned, a little twinkle that reminded him too much of one little boy he hadn't seen for a while.

"…Just what are you planning?"

"Well, what's tomorrow?"

By this time, they were walking side by side – nowhere in particular, just walking for the sake of walking and talking – and the adult slowed down in light contemplation, scratching his head a little before swallowing and addressing the issue before him. The grin forming on his student's face was, without a doubt, not good.

"…Please say I didn't forget your birthday again, because if it's tomorrow I didn't really forge-"

He was interrupted (ever so rudely) by the merry laughter of the child next to him, who's grin only (if possible) grew wider.

"That'd be horrible if you did forget, sensei, but really! My birthday was, like, three months ago, and you forgot then, but I'm fourteen now, anyway," Sakura stated dismissively. "What's tomorrow?"

Kakashi still didn't catch on, so being the impatient being – slowly learning patience, but it wasn't needed around him – that Sakura could be, she promptly frowned and stopped walking completely, her hands sternly placed upon her hips and a frightening mixture of anger, impatience, and disbelief mixing across her face.

"You really forgot? Sensei!" The exclaimed outburst made Kakashi wince and then grin sheepishly, but also swell with pride on the inside. His young protégé was finally beginning to accept who she was on the inside – wait, then again… That was probably just overexposure to Tsunade, who pulled the real Sakura out. He deflated. Damn, he really couldn't do much anymore.

"Okay, olly-olly-oxen-free, I give up. What's tomorrow?"

"…You really forgot?" The tone in his kind-of student's voice made the copy ninja stop, hands in pockets and a guilty seed starting to plant in him, and really think back.

"Ah… well… I… that was the last time I trained you in a year?"

The fourteen year old looked up at her sometimes-mentor expectantly.

"Er…" A whole new thought blew into his head and the copy ninja's head snapped at attention in realization and he looked directly down into his sometimes-student's eyes. "…You want to go back?"

The girl smiled – it was a little fake, but she was still perfecting the art of the fake smile – and nodded.

"This time, don't be late. I don't want to have to go into your stinky apartment and have to wake you up again!"

"…It really smells that bad?"

-

"You're… late."

"By how much?"

"You don't want to know. I told you not to be late this time!"

She was leaning against the wall, right across from the village gates – the guards had sleepily noticed her, but thought nothing of a ninja waiting for their team. She had been there at seven o'clock, thirty minutes late. Surprise, he wasn't there, but she hadn't expected him to be, so Sakura had waited patiently as the sun grew brighter and the city woke to another hot summer day.

Kakashi jumped down beside his sometimes-student. She nodded, and they sped off.

All Sakura could really think about was how strange it was that the closer they got, the colder it became.

-

"It's so nice to see you! Please, come in!" Tsunami gave a motherly, excited hug to the young woman standing in front of her, who couldn't help but smile at such sincere exuberance at her own arrival.

Quickly removing her shoes, Sakura followed Kakashi into the small, refurbished home; the walls, repainted, were a bright, friendly off-white, and the kitchen had been retiled – bright, sky blue walls and shining tiles, even new floors. All cracks, holes, and other damages caused by the wear and tear of a long-lived house were gone; the home was brighter, happier. Tsunami bowed them in with a flourish, obviously excited to show off such a wonderful upgrade.

"Hi, Sakura-chan!" A little ball of little boy barreled in, next, making the girl laugh.

"Hello, Inari-kun, it's nice to see you." She looked down at the grinning face of a boy with a piece of rope tied across his forehead.

-

It's always cold.

That's what he thought, just that – ever since he woke up that morning (this time, it was still dark; it almost upset him, because at least sleep was a few blessed hours of silence and nothingness), all he could think about was how cold it was, in the middle of summer.

Mid-morning it started to snow.

And all he could think about was how, last time it snowed, a pink haired girl came to visit.

-

"I'm off," Sakura finally declared tiredly, standing and brushing imaginary dust off of her behind; she sidestepped the neat traditional pillow carefully placed next to the coffee table that the rest of the group was situated at.

"I thought you didn't have any missions," Tazuna remarked, taking a gulp of tea. "It'd be super if you could stay for a while." Tsunami and Inari both made agreeing noises, wishing for the company of their friend for a while longer.

"She doesn't," Kakashi's voice interrupted smoothly. "Sakura-chan just has some business to take care of. She'll be back soon."

Nodding at her sometimes-sensei's words, Sakura gave the group a reassuring smile and slipped on her shoes before closing the door with a resigned 'click' on her way out.

-

Haku stared blankly at the sky.

It was still snowing.

He had (upon wanting to not think of anything at all, not even the girl, quick to invade his thoughts) found accidentally that cloud watching was a perfect pastime. They floated around lazily, and it was such an incredible feeling that didn't wear off, to feel so small against something so large all around you, but not overbearing… but today, the clouds were everywhere without a trace of blue to be found, so he settled for watching the snow drifting down.

'It's strange how the snow falls down on me.'

Haku watched a flake pass through his hand. As if he weren't there.

'…So strange.'

He watched another snowflake settle on his knee.

-

"I wonder if they like dango," Sakura murmured absently as she hummed a little tune and picked out the offering food, loosely holding some flowers in her other hand. Not really caring either way, just complacent enough to be visiting, Sakura made her purchase and headed out into the hush of the snowfall.

-

"…Caribbean blue."

The soft voice penetrated his ears, lifting the veil of muteness he had endured for God knows how long; Haku lowered his lashes from the heavens and looked in disbelief, if not amazement, at the girl standing before him, slowly walking towards him.

"…The sky is usually caribbean blue. It's so colorless today," the girl commented complacently.

Haku liked the way she phrased the sentence. Not gray, colorless. He hadn't really put anything into words for such a long time, thoughts merely being… thoughts. Not really even noticing anything anymore.

"…The leaves are silver in this strange light," Haku answered softly, but of course she didn't hear him, because no one did.

Sakura approached him with ease and a small, contented smile.

She reminded Haku of snow, but of sun at the same time. He noticed blandly that her apparel was lighter, a little. She had reverted to red, but such a deeper red; a sleeveless zip-up (a smart choice, not counting the oddity of the day's weather) and the same black pants. Her hair was still short.

"Hello, Momochi-san, Haku-san. Nice to see you again." Sakura gently kneeled, bowing before placing the flowers gently in the middle of the two graves, next to the offering.

Haku tried to pick up the dango, but it didn't work and he touched the ground. He didn't dwell on this, and instead reverted his attention to her, needing, almost begging for some small amount of attention from anyone.

"Just thought I'd drop by," she said airily. Then she sighed a little. "Okay, I bet you saw right through that, you two. I marked the date on my calendar last month because I remembered to come back. I wonder what you guys think. Probably that I'm some insane pink-haired girl that you had the misfortune to meet once and couldn't shake her," Sakura laughed.

Haku's lips twitched upwards because of her (not for the first time), but it was only a ghost of a smile.

"I bet God is disappointed in me," she murmured.

"You don't know he exists," Haku replied, because he didn't, either, but was sure of his answer.

She didn't hear him.

He didn't expect her to, anyway.

"…I can't even put my prayers in my head to you guys, because I feel like you're still here, just invisible. Which means I'm talking to thin air. I'm pathetic," she laughed again. It was maddening and saddening at the same time, for two very different reasons.

"You're not talking to thin air," Haku croaked. His voice was suddenly very dry. "I'm here, I'm here, talk to me, please talk to me, I need someone to talk to;" his pleas fell on deaf ears, because they couldn't hear people like him. "Please talk to me." Whispered, a ghost of a whisper, just like him.

She smiled and continued anyway.

"So – I'm still training with Tsunade-sama. I learned some new stuff, and she says I'm progressing really fast for a medic-student, even at Shizune-nee-chan's pace, and I might even be faster than that!" She seemed very pleased, and Haku could tell without doubt she was beyond how she appeared; obviously (from overreading into a girl he had met two point seven three times, to be rounded to the hundredths place rather than continue into the ten thousandths – not that he kept track or anything) she had been the underdog of her cell, the weakling that really had just had a good dose of reality when figuring out who the weakest link was.

But she was doing something about it, and was obviously proud of herself. But she said she had a long way to go.

Haku remembered someone who said that, and what he asked. He wondered what her answer would be.

"Aren't you strong enough already?"

She paused (he hoped for a millisecond but he knew from the start she didn't hear him) but continued informing him of the two other boys, who were held in regard from her (and seemingly others) far above herself.

She could've talked for minutes or hours, but Haku was absorbed into what Sakura said because he knew, if he was lucky, the next time he'd get to talk to someone wouldn't be for another year, so he focused on her for something new to think about.

"…So, Kakashi-sensei is doing mostly S-classed missions nowadays. We don't… really… talk much anymore." Her face fell, but brightened a little. "We still do see each other, though, and even if we haven't trained, I've been getting better stuff from Tsunade-shishou." She grinned.

Then she sneezed, because she was cold, and her fingers were tinged a light light light barely visible shade of blue which Haku almost worried about; he told her gently to go home and get a jacket on because she was wearing a bad shirt for snow, which had begun to stick to the ground a bit and coat the girl across from him in a gentle layer of iridescent white.

But she kept talking happily, and Haku came to a quiet realization.

"This is an escape for you, isn't it?" Haku asked softly.

No response, because Sakura was already mumbling something under her breath when she was talking about the hyperactive blonde he met once.

"Of course. Because you're talking to thin air, so it makes you feel a little less insane by letting everything out to a ghost."
Then he smiled a real one for the first time in a long time and listened.

-

The snow, as Haku presumed upon observing last year's events of the only day where anything really happened to him, was still going, even as dusk began to settle in.

There was a little imprint where two little knees had rested, a little place barren of any snowflakes that littered the rest of the ground. He was alone, now, but started so suddenly from watching the gift he had received earlier he was afraid he knocked them over, but then that was silly because he couldn't knock them over, so instead he looked up for the second time that day.

He found the copy ninja treading toward him steadily; what a surprise, and Haku bowed at his killer out of instinct, then felt silly for doing something he couldn't see him do –

Or could he?

After a moment, where Kakashi had stopped at the imprint on the ground and looked down at it amusedly for a minute, it became clear he could not see Haku, but came to pay his respects as well to the dead master swordsman, and perhaps Haku as well.

"I see Sakura-chan has visited you two."

The voice was deep, a sort of voice Haku hadn't heard for years that was low and very easy to hear, smooth and laidback.

"Just me," Haku stated plainly and he spread his arms with his hands open to further his meaning, but Kakashi didn't hear him and didn't see him; he instead kneeled down beside the girl's imprint to bow.

"I don't know why she comes here every year for the past two," Kakashi said thoughtfully, almost insinuating she didn't have a reason to – this hurt a bit, that his only company for a while shouldn't have seen him at all, but Haku played devil's advocate against himself and reasoned why not, because the truth hurt, and wasn't that the truth.

"…But I think it's helping. Two years ago, likely this very day, was when Sakura realized she really wasn't taking the ninja way seriously. That she had convinced herself she was along for the ride, for whatever life gave her and nothing more until that point. I think she looked – and still does, Zabuza and Haku," the man had a slight twinkle in his only visible eye, "I think she looks up to you two. After you both left, we honored you, because you were ones to honor. It helped her along, and I think it's helped me along, too."

The man's eye curved up in a smile.

"Thank you." He bowed once more before getting up and leaving, too, his footsteps, crunching in the frail blanket of snow, slowly fading away as his back did, too, into the evening as the sun slowly sank behind the ocean and gave a wink one last time before drifting off to sleep to let the moon do her job.

Haku watched Kakashi leave, not for the first time, and mutely wished that he could find the voice to ask him to wait.

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