Chapter Five
The BAU team arrives at the murder scene. The bodies are still hanging by their ankles from the ceiling. The CSI team has gone through the apartment already and cleared the place for others to enter. They had set up several white lights to counteract all the blacklights that the host had set up. JJ has to cover her mouth and look away. She had seen many grizzly things in her years working with the BAU. But she had never seen a person skinned like a deer. Spencer, on the other hand, can't seem to look away. Derek Morgan can practically hear the younger man's brain working. Something about this scene has struck a cord with the young genius.
"Okay," says Morgan, "This is new."
"Maybe," says Reid, "Maybe not."
"What do you mean?" asks Prentiss.
In response, Spencer Reid pulls out his cell phone. He goes into the phone's contact list and points and clicks on Penelope Garcia. The phone rings a couple of times before Garcia picks up.
"You have reached The Divine Goddess Of All Knowledge. Speak now if you wish to bathe in my brilliance."
"Hey Garcia, it's Reid."
"Whatcha need, Cutie-Pie?"
"Could you run a check on all unsolved murders where the victims have been skinned?"
"Skinned?" asks Garcia, "You mean like Buffalo Bill in Silence Of The Lambs?"
"More like what happened to Warren in Season Six of Buffy The Vampire Slayer."
"Youch!"
"And while you're at it, cross reference unsolved murders involving beheadings which took place at about the same time."
"Any particular city you want me to look up?" she asks.
"Everywhere," he replies, "Anywhere. Just get me some details please."
"Do you think that this unsub has been active elsewhere?"
"I don't know," he admits, "I'm just following a hunch."
"Never let it be said I didn't follow one of your hunches," she chimes back, "I'll start right away. It could take me a while though. That's an awful lot of ground to cover with very little to go on."
"Just do the best you can, Penelope."
"Roger Wilco, over and out," and she hangs up.
"What's up, Kid?" Morgan asks him.
"Something about this case just seems very familiar to me for some reason," Reid replies, "I just can't quite place where or why."
"How can that be?" asks Rossi, "You have an eidetic memory."
"That mostly deals with stuff that I've read," he explains, "I think I've only ever heard of this case in passing."
"I've found that when Reid's brain retains a piece of knowledge about a case," says Morgan, "It's best to listen when it comes up."
"Thanks Morgan," says Reid, "But in all honesty, I don't know if this will be useful at all. The memory I have is fairly vague. More like a feeling of dejavu."
"Still," says Rossi, "You have good instincts for this sort of thing. I'll go with Morgan on this and say that whatever it is you think you remember, it will most likely help break this case."
"So what was going on here before the unsub crashed the party?" asks JJ.
"Looks like a blacklight party," says Morgan.
Prentiss picks a handful of glow in the dark condoms out of a serving bowl. "More like a blacklight orgy," she says.
Reid picks one of the guests' invites up off an end table and reads it out loud. "Miami Sex Party's Sixth Annual Blacklight Sex Party," he says, "Male/Female couples and single ladies only. Absolutely NO single men allowed. Strict blacklight dress code in effect. If it doesn't glow, it's gotta go."
"Clever," says JJ.
"What's this?" asks Rossi. He is looking at the glowing green trail of the larger Predator's blood.
"Spilled glow in the dark paint?" suggests Morgan.
Rossi kneels down and wipes some of the green glowing liquid onto his hand. "It's still wet," he says, "And the glow paints are all over there," and he points to a table at the far side of the room.
"You know, if I didn't know any better," says Reid, "I'd say that looks like a blood trail."
"Come on Reid," says Prentiss, "Who in the world would have blood that glows like that?"
"Spiderman?" suggests Reid.
"Okay," says Prentiss, "Let me rephrase. Who in the real world would have blood that glows green like that?"
"Someone dying of radiation poisoning?" he suggests.
"Anyone dying of radiation poisoning likely wouldn't be attending an orgy," says Prentiss, "And if their radiation poisoning is bad enough to cause their blood to glow like this, I doubt they'd be in any shape to do all of this." and she gestures towards the skinned bodies hanging from the ceiling.
As the BAU team is leaving the crime scene, Spencer Reid is the last of them to file out. Everyone is preoccupied with the case, as they've never come across anything so bizarre in all their careers combined. This killer's victimology is all across the board, young and old, men and women. The only real connection is that they're all taking place at social gatherings. No other serial or spree killer had ever been so unpredictable before. Just as Reid is leaving the penthouse apartment, he gets a chill up his spine, like someone walking over his grave. He glances back over his shoulder, and once again sees a shimmering humanoid shape standing there watching him. He quickly stops and rubs his eyes, then looks back, but whatever it was he thought he saw is no longer there.
"You coming Kid?" asks Morgan.
"Yeah," replies Reid, "I'm right behind you."
He just shakes his head and follows the team out of the apartment. I must be imagining things, he thinks to himself, Probably the heat, making me hallucinate. At least I hope that's all it is.
The BAU team returns to their hotel rooms, thoroughly exhausted. They've gone over this case from every angle, and still they can't seem to find a common thread throughout that links the victims together, other than that they were all killed by the same person, and all while attending a party. Hoping that a good night's rest will allow them to get a fresh perspective in the morning, they all bed down for the night. Reid lies in his bed staring up at the ceiling. Why do I keep seeing things? He wonders. And why does this whole case seem so damn familiar? He drifts off to sleep without coming up with any answers to those questions.
The following afternoon, down in the basement of a nice upper-middle class house, a group of college kids are sitting around a large ping-pong table. The walls of the basement are covered with a false stone laminate, making them look like they actually are made of stone. There are fake flame lamps set in the walls. Decorating the walls are replica swords from various fantasy adventure films and TV shows. Conan The Barbarian, Red Sonja, Excalibur, Highlander, Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit, Game Of Thrones, Xena: Warrior Princess, The Three Musketeers, just to name a few.
One wall is lined with bookshelves, many of them weighed down with various books. Other bookshelves are filled with figurines of various monsters and heroes. There are knights and barbarians, wizards and monks, orcs and goblins, dragons and giants. Some are made of plastic, others of pewter, all hand painted. The books on the bookshelves are all gaming material, dating back to the original 1974 printing of Dungeons & Dragons. Then there's the classic Red Box D&D which was popular back in the 1980's. There are entire shelves filled with 1st Edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons books and gaming supplements. Then there's 2nd Edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. There are shelves filled with the box sets containing the core rules for virtually every game setting ever published for the hobby. Gray Hawk, Forgotten Realms, Dragon Lance, Ravenloft, they're all there. Then there are the shelves filled with 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons source books, as well as the 3.5 Edition books, and the 3rd party publications using the Open Gaming License d20 System. There are a handful of 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons books on one shelf, though it seems mostly to be dominated by books dedicated to the Pathfinder Role Playing Game. There are also a number of other games produced by other publishers, mostly by Paladium. Games such as Gurps, Rifts, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Strangeness, Ninjas & Super Spies, Heroes Unlimited, Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Game, Serenity: The Role Playing Game, etc.
Laid out on the ping-pong table is a large sheet of poster paper with a grid made up of hundreds of hexagons drawn in black ink. Laid out on top of this is a sheet of plexiglass cut to the exact dimensions of the table. At the head of the table sits the host of the gathering, and the group's Dungeon Master, a young man named Adam. To his right sits his girlfriend, Tamara, and on his left sits his best friend, Matthew. Next to Tamara sits her best friend, a Chinese girl named Miyo, and next to Miyo sits her boyfriend, a blonde haired young caucasian named Tony. Next to Matthew sits their friends Cole and Cavan. And finally at the far end of the table sits their last player, Justin.
Adam has just finished drawing a river across the board with a blue dry erase marker. The river is crossed by a bridge drawn in black. He sets several plastic trees around the board on both sides of the drawn river, and draws a road leading to and from the bridge. Then he sets a figurine of a bearded man in purple wizard's robes down in the middle of the bridge.
"Okay," says Adam, "what order are your characters in?"
"I'll be in the lead," says Tony, and he sets his figure of a man wielding twin swords on the path closest to the bridge.
"Where Slash goes, Ambrosia follows close behind," says Miyo, and she places her figurine of a pink haired alu-fiend just behind and to the left of her boyfriend's figure.
"I better be up front just in case things turn sour," says Matthew, as he places his figurine of an armored dwarf wielding a halberd just behind and to the right of Tony's figure.
"Just be sure to let me do the talking," Tony remarks to him.
"Why?"
"You have a Charisma of 6, while I have a Charisma of 15, plus both the Persuasive and Leadership feats. Not to mention seven ranks in Diplomacy."
"Leadership doesn't help with negotiations," remarks Cole, "It just means that you can attract followers and cohorts when you gain your own keep or stronghold."
"But it also means I have an air of authority about me, which could prove useful in diplomatic situations."
"I'll be right behind Ambrosia and Aleagha," says Justin as he places his figurine of an armored knight wielding a heavy mace, "Knowing Matt's tenancy to attack first and have me ask questions of their corpses, it having my divine healing magic on hand when the shit hits the fan seems prudent."
"Oh come on," says Matthew, "I don't always attack first."
"My druid hangs back with his pet dire wolf, just in case," says Cole as he places his figurine of a half-orc in brown druid robes and a plastic wolf figurine on the board behind the other characters.
"My monk is at the back with the druid," says Cavan as he places a figurine of a Shoulin monk wielding a quarterstaff next to Cole's half-orc.
"And I'm right next to Cole's character," says Tamara as she places her character figurine, that of a female halfling with a sling, next to Cole's wolf.
"Okay," continues Adam, "Last week you were hired by The King to investigate why his trade caravans have been disappearing before they reach their destination. If this isn't resolved soon, his citizens will start to go hungry and possibly revolt. You've been on the road for several days now. As you're walking along the road, you come upon a wide, swift river. Spanning the river is a bridge. The bridge appears to be worn and well used but of sturdy construction. In the center of the bridge stands an old man in tattered robes, carrying a gnarled staff of warped and twisted wood."
"Who would cross the Bridge Of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see," laughs Matthew.
"No wait," says Justin, "You! Shall not! Paaasss!" and he laughs as well.
"Funny guys," says Adam, "How about this one? The next person who quotes a movie loses 1000 XP!"
"What was that?" asks Cole, "Mazes & Monsters?"
"Nope," says Adam, "That was me wanting to get on with the game. Wanna see if I'm bluffing?"
"Chill, Dude," says Tony, "We're here to game. But there's more to Pathfinder than just rolling dice, you know. "
"I know," he says, "I'm sorry guys. I'm just kinda weirded out by those murders in the news. You know, The Party Crasher. I'm a little nervous about getting together during this whole murder spree."
"Hey, we're not at a party," says Justin, "We're playing a game of Pathfinder."
"I know," replies Adam, "But we're still in a group, in a social atmosphere."
"Hey," says Matt, "You're worried over nothing. Even on the off chance that The Party Crasher shows up here, we're surrounded by an arsenal of steel weaponry." Matthew stands up and takes the replica of Conan's sword down off the wall, "At first sight I'll give him a taste of Atlantean steel."
Adam chuckles at his friend's bravado. Despite himself, he does feel a bit better about their situation. "All right," he says, "But can we please get back to the game?"
"Sure," says Matthew, and he puts the Atlantean sword back in its rightful spot on the wall then sits back down.
"Okay," says Adam, now where were we?"
"We just found an old man standing in the middle of a weathered bridge across the river," says Tamara.
"Right," replies Adam, "So, what do you do?"
"I boldly approach the stranger," says Tony, "keeping my hands casually resting on the hilts of my twin swords to keep them from bumping into my legs, but also allowing me quick access should the need arise."
"As you approach," says the DM, "The old man holds out a scrawny an wrinkled hand in a staying gesture. Halt! He says. Ye can go no further! Go back from wence Ye came, ere never be seen again!"
"We cannot turn back," replies Tony, altering the tone of his voice slightly to sound more commanding, "We are on a mission for The King!"
"The King says the old man in disgust, The King has no authority here!"
"I beg to differ," says Tony, "We are still well within his borders. What He says goes here, and His word is Law."
"Bah! Scoffs the old man, A new rein is about to begin. Swear fealty to the new laird of these lands, and thou shall be rewarded. Stand in his way, and ye shall drown in a sea of blood!"
"Are you this new power?" asks Tony.
"Nay, says the old man, I am but His humble servant. A herald of His greatness."
"Who is it that you serve?" asks Tony.
"You will learn his name, says the old man, when he sits upon your King's throne, sipping wine from the fallen monarch's skull. And then the old man jabs the butt end of his staff onto the planks of the bridge with a loud thud. There's a blinding flash of light and a cloud of sulfuric smoke, and then he is gone."
With that, Adam removes the wizard figurine from the table. He then sits back and lets the players discuss the events that had just played out.
"Well?" Tony asks them, "What do you guys think?"
"It's a pretty fair bet that this old man is responsible for the disappearing merchant caravans," says Miyo, "Or at least is involved."
"Do we go back and tell The King?" asks Justin.
"Tell him what?" asks Cole, "That some crazy old wizard claims to work for some unknown person that's claiming lordship over His lands?"
"Yeah."
"That's not much of a report," says Tamara, "We could get thrown in prison for coming back early with so little to show for it."
"I agree," says Matt, "The old man was a clue as to who is responsible, not the one who is responsible."
"Yeah," adds Miyo, "No way the quest could be that easy."
"I say we press on," says Tony, "Maybe find out who the old man is at least, and where he lives."
"Sounds good to me," says Cole.
"Me too," says Cavan.
"I'm in," adds Justin.
"Let's go then," says Matthew.
"So what are you guys gonna do?" asks Adam.
"We're pressing forward," replies Tony, "No pathetic little warning from some scrawny old man is gonna scare us off."
"Okay," says Adam as he moves the figurines to the center of the bridge drawn on the table, "you continue moving forward. Everyone roll a Perception Check."
All of the players take out a twenty sided die and rolls it. They quickly look at their Perception Skills on their character sheets and add their characters' bonuses onto their rolls.
"Okay," says Adam, "What did you all get?"
"A four," says Matthew, "I hate having a low Wisdom score."
"Sixteen," says Cole.
"Eighteen," says Cole.
"Twenty three," says Justin with a satisfied smile.
"Nat twenty," says Tony with a little Cabbage Patch Dance.
"Fourteen," says Miyo.
"And I got nineteen," says Tamara.
"Okay, everyone except Aleagha hears a faint scratching sound against the wood of the bridge. It would have been easily heard had it not been for the roar of the rapids below."
"Hold it!" Tony says, in character once more, "I hear something."
"What?" Asks Matthew, also in character, "What is it?" Then he turns to Adam and says, "I start looking around for something that might be making a sound, and trying to hear what it is."
"I hear it too," says Miyo, also in character, "A scratching type sound."
Adam turns towards Matthew, "You are the first to see a large, webbed, clawed hand reach up over the edge of the bridge. Then another. Then another." Then he turns to Tony, "Slash sees more webbed hands reaching up over the edge of the other side of the bridge. Then up comes the scaly heads of these enormous hulking beasts with razor sharp teeth and black sunken eyes." And with a dramatic flourish Adam places the figurines of several of Reaper Miniatures Asylum brand troll figurines. He places five of them along either side of the drawn bridge. Tony lets out a groan.
"Trolls," he says, "I hate trolls." After a moment he turns to the DM. "Please don't dock me any XP," he says, "I wasn't trying to quote Willow. It's just that my opinion and the movie happen to match."
"That's okay," says Adam, "To be honest I hadn't even noticed it. Okay, so you guys are pretty much surrounded by ten scrags. As they're pulling themselves up out of the water below, you each have the opportunity for one action. What do you do?"
"Aleagha never runs from a fight!" boasts Matt, "I ready my Great Axe and let the bastards come to me!"
"I send my dire wolf ahead so he won't get hurt in the upcoming fight, then shape change into an eagle," says Cole, and he removes the Half-Orc druid from the table and replaces it with an eagle figurine.
"I assume a ready stance with my quarterstaff," says Cavan, "It is against my order's teachings to strike first against any living foe. Even one as vile as these."
"I cast Mighty Strength on myself and take up my morning star and shield in readiness for battle," says Justin.
"I draw my twin Longswords Of Speed, and stand protectively between Ambrosia and the oncoming trolls," says Tony.
"Ummm," says Miyo, "I don't know. Can I cast Fireball at them?"
"You could," says Adam, "I wouldn't really recommend it though. The spell has a twenty foot radius and you'll likely fry yourself as well as your fellow PC's."
"I've got fifteen points of fire resistance," she reminds him.
"True," says Adam, "But the other characters don't."
"Right," she says, "Ummmm. . ."
"Cast Mage Armor on yourself," suggests Tony, "Get a +4 boost to your AC."
Miyo notices Adam silently counting down by putting one finger down onto the table after another, in a silent signal that she was about to lose her turn in order to move the game forward. Then she gets a sudden burst of inspiration.
"I know!" she says, "I reach into my Handy Haversack, and I pull out my twelfth level scroll of Fire Shield and cast it upon myself!"
"Clever," says Adam, "Trolls fear fire more than anything else. Okay, you read from the scroll which bursts into flames. The flames spread across your body, but harm neither you nor your clothes. You stand amongst your comrades sheathed in flames. For the next twelve rounds anyone who strikes you in melee combat suffers the same amount of damage in fire damage."
"Nice one," says Tamara, "Okay, Tricksy isn't very good at straight up combat. . ."
"Here it comes," mumbles Matthew.
"So she's gonna activate her Ring Of Chameleon Power, use her Hide In Plain Sight feat, and disappear from view."
"Okay," says Adam, "Make your Stealth Check."
Tamara rolls a twenty sided die and quickly adds the number to what's written on her character sheet. "That's. . . Forty two."
"I swear to God she must be cheating," says Cole.
"I am not!" protests Tamara, "I'm just using the rules to my best advantage!"
"Every bloody time you roll for Stealth you get a thirty or better!" says Cole, "Every time! That's just not normal!"
"Look, halflings and gnomes get a +4 racial bonus to their Stealth Checks. I'm playing a rogue, which means Stealth is a Class Skill. That gives me a +3 bonus. I took the Sneaky character trait, giving me a permanent +1 bonus to Stealth. I rolled a legitimate 18 for DEX, plus my racial bonus of +2, gave me a DEX of 20 at level one. My stat bonuses at levels four and eight brought that up to a 22 DEX. That's a bonus of +6 to DEX related skills. At level one I took the Stealthy feat, giving me a +2 bonus to Stealth and Escape Artist. At level three I took the Skill Focus feat and used that for Stealth as well, giving me another +3. Then I placed one Skill Point in Stealth at every level getting an additional +1 each time right up to +8 at eighth level. So that's a bonus of +27. Add to that my Ring Of Chameleon Power, which grants me another +10 to my rolls, and that's a total of +37. The minimum I can possibly roll under those circumstances is a 38. And if you still think I'm cheating I can lend you my calculator and you can do the math yourself."
"Whatever," says Cole, "Let's just play."
"Okay, none of you took the opportunity to attack them while they weren't ready or run away, so roll initiative."
They each roll a twenty sided die again.
"I rolled a four," says Matt.
"Sixteen," says Cole.
"Twenty two," says Cavan.
"Two," says Justin.
"Sweet!" exclaims Tony, "Natural twenty again."
"So what's the number?" asks Adam.
"That'll be twenty eight."
"What?" asks Cole, "How'd you get that?"
"Improved Initiative," replies Tony, "Grants you a +4 bonus to initiative, plus the +4 from my 18 DEX."
"I got seventeen," says Miyo.
"And I have twenty four," says Tamara. She turns to Cole, "That's a roll of eighteen plus six from my DEX bonus."
"And the trolls got fourteen," says Adam, "Okay Tony, Slash goes first."
Tony starts shaking a pair of twenty sided dice in his hand. "Okay," he says, "Four attacks at +15, then two more at +10."
"Woah!" says Cole, "How the Hell do you get +15 and +10? By my calculations it should be way lower."
"I'm a Two Weapon Warrior from the Advanced Player's Handbook," explains Tony, "I get bonuses on fighting with two weapons."
"I know that," says Cole, "but your total bonus still shouldn't be that high."
"Jesus Christ," says Tony, frustrated that Cole's rules lawyering is slowing down game play, "I'm an eighth level fighter, that gives me a +8 BAB. My swords each have a +1 enchantment. I have the Weapon Focus and Improved Weapon Focus feats, each giving me an additional +1. And with my 18 DEX and Weapon Finesse feat. . ."
"That's what's wrong!" exclaims Cole, "You're swords are longswords! You can't use Weapon Finesse with longswords!"
"Normally, no you can't," Tony agrees, "Unless you also happen to have Improved Weapon Finesse, which I do."
"What?" says Cole, "There's no such thing as Improved Weapon Finesse!"
"Sure there is," replies Tony with a smug smile, "Adam and I wrote the rules for it together."
"What?"
"Look, Weapon Finesse, as written, was very limited and very unrealistic. It doesn't allow the feat to be used with weapons which, both historically as well as in film and literature, are in fact finesse weapons. Look at Drizzt Do'Urden for example. He's not the best damn swordsman in The Forgotten Realms because he has a 28 STR! He's the best damn swordsman in The Forgotten Realms because he has a 28 DEX! He fights with precision and skill. He fights with finesse. And what are his weapons of choice? Not daggers, shortswords, or rapiers. They're scimitars. And according to The Rules in the core rulebook, scimitars are not one of the weapons that can be used with Weapon Finesse. Look at all those Chinese swords used in kung fu. Under the rules for Weapon Finesse, these are not finesse weapons. Ever see a kung fu master wielding a Dao Broadsword or a Jian Longsword? You wanna tell me that's not finesse? Anyway, I pointed this out to Adam, and rather than rewriting the rules for Weapon Finesse, we came up with a new feat, Improved Weapon Finesse. The prerequisites are that you must have the Weapon Finesse Feat, and have a DEX of no less than 14, both of which my character has. The benefits are you are able to use the Weapon Finesse benefits with one handed swords that are slightly larger and heavier than those listed in the Weapon Finesse description, such as longswords and scimitars."
"Well, if it's a feat that Adam created then I guess it's okay," gripes Cole.
Tony rolls his twenty sided dice six times. "Unless they have ridiculously high AC's for scrags, I hit them all six times," he says.
"Roll damage," says Adam.
Tony picks up a pair of ten sided dice again when Cole interrupts the game yet again. "Wait a minute!" he says, "Longswords do 1d8 damage each, not 1d10."
"True," admits Tony, "But Slash's swords have scalloped edges. This grants them the ability to do more damage."
"Since when?"
Tony pulls a sheet of paper out from under his character sheet and hands it to Cole. It's a photocopy of a page from an issue of Dragon Magazine. Highlighted in yellow is a published optional rule which states that straight bladed swords and daggers that have been designed with scalloped edges do the next highest dice roll for damage, due to the longer cutting edge. Cole sees the date of the issue printed on the corner of the page, and notices that it was published in the mid 1980's and was intended for use with 1st Edition AD&D, which he immediately points out.
"Doesn't matter," says Tony, "The reasons for the rule hold merit, and the rule is easily transferred to the d20 system. Besides, I had already okayed it with Adam before we started playing. And what the DM says, goes."
"Cole," says Adam, "If you don't stop interrupting the game, I'm gonna have to penalize your XP awards. If you have concerns regarding how I'm handling the rules, speak to me about them in private, after the game. But not during. Understood?"
"Okay," says Cole, "I'm sorry. I just don't like playing with cheaters. There were a bunch of players like that in my old group and it just ruined the fun for everyone else."
"Which is a valid concern," agrees Adam, "But Tony and Tamara are not cheating. They're just using the rules to their own advantage, just as everyone else at this table probably is. Including yourself. Now please, no more interruptions."
Tony rolls his d10's and adds up the damage.
"Fifty six," he says.
"Oooo," says Adam, "That troll is not too pleased with you."
"Okay. Who's next?"
"Tamara," says Adam, "You had the next highest roll. It's your turn."
"I sneak up behind one of the trolls and hamstring him with my Dagger Of Fiery Burst," she says.
"Make your roll."
Tamara rolls a twenty sided die and gets a ten.
"Ten plus fourteen is twenty four. Does that hit?"
"Absolutely. Roll damage."
Tamara rolls a six sided die and gets a four.
"Four divided by two is two, plus one is three," she says, "now because it was a sneak attack . . ." and she grabs three more d6's and rolls all four of them, "I do another . . . nineteen points of damage."
"The troll howls in rage and pain and drops to a knee to clutch it's wounded ankle. Cavan, you're next."
"I strike the same troll Tricksy attacked, using my quarterstaff," he says. He rolls his twenty sided die twice. "I hit it once for sure, and the other attack is a nineteen?"
"That hits," confirms the DM.
"Then I do," he rolls a couple of eight sided dice, "Twenty points of damage."
"My turn," says Miyo, "I reach into my Handy Haversack and pull out a pinch of diamond dust, which I sprinkle over myself as I cast Stone Skin."
"Good choice," congratulates Adam.
"One question though," says Miyo, "As an alu-fiend my character already has five points of damage reduction. Does the ten points of damage reduction from the spell override those five points? Or do they stack?"
"Good question," says Adam, "Unless the rulebook specifically says otherwise, I'm gonna say they stack."
"Cool!" replies Miyo, "I couldn't find a rule for it anywhere, which is why I asked."
"Cole, your turn," says Adam.
"I take off into the sky," says Cole, taking out a clear plastic cup and placing it on the map upside down with his eagle figurine placed on top of it, "and once I'm safely out of reach I cast Flame Strike on one of the trolls."
"Which one?" asks the DM.
"This one," says Cole, pointing at one of the trolls on the far end, "He's far enough away from the group that the spell won't hit my comrades."
"Okay," says Adam, "Roll for damage."
Cole takes out eight six sided dice and rolls them. "Thirty nine points of fire damage!" he says proudly.
"Okay," says Adam, "It's the trolls turn. Tony, two of them are attacking Slash. Miyo, one troll is coming after Ambrosia. Cavan, you've got two trolls coming at you. So does Aleagha, and the cleric. The trolls can't find Tricksy, and Drogo's out of reach."
Adam rolls a few twenty sided die a couple of times. "Aleagha gets hit for," he rolls some eight sided dice, "thirty seven points of damage."
"That'll leave a mark," says Matt.
"Tony, your character is hit for," he rolls some more d8's, "twenty two points of damage."
"Justin, your character takes. . . Seventeen points of damage. Cavan, you take twenty seven points of damage. And Miyo, you're hit twice. Once for fourteen points of damage, and once for twelve points."
"Well my Stone Skin spell absorbs all of that damage, and the troll takes a total of twenty six points of fire damage."
"Oh right, Fire Shield," says Adam, "Matt, it's your turn."
"Great Cleave," says Matt, and he rolls his twenty sided die three times, "I hit once, twice, three times. The first troll takes. . ." and he rolls a twelve sided die, "Fourteen points of damage. The next one takes. . . Seventeen points of damage. And the third one takes. . . Twenty one points."
"Okay, Justin?"
"I hit the troll with my morning star," he says as he rolls his d20, "Got him on the first hit. And the second. . . Natural twenty!"
"Roll to confirm," says Adam.
"It's a crit," says Justin as he rolls his d20 a second time. He rolls a d8 a couple of times. "The first one does twelve points of damage, and second one does eighteen."
"Ouch!" says Adam, "Solid hits. Okay, just as you prepare to attack again you hear the cracking of breaking branches on the far end of the bridge. You glance over and see an ogre war hulk crashing through the brush and heading towards you, with four common ogres following behind." and he places and ogre war hulk figurine and four ogre figurines on the table, just on the edge of the drawn bridge. Matt groans.
"If trolls weren't bad enough, now there's ogres too?"
"Okay," says Adam, "Next round. Tony, it's your turn."
Tony rolls six d20's. "I hit all six times," he says, then he rolls six d10's. "I do a total of sixty two points of damage."
"Okay, that troll is not lookin' too good," says Adam. "Tricksy, your turn."
"Is the troll I hamstrung still on his knees?" asks Tamara.
"Yes he is," admits Adam.
"Then I stab him in the kidneys with a sneak attack," she says.
"Roll to hit."
"Natural twenty!" she cries, then rolls again, "And a confirmed crit!"
"Roll damage," says Adam.
Tamara rolls a d6, then calculates the damage for a critical hit. She then rolls 4d6 for the extra damage from the sneak attack, and another 1d10 because of her dagger's flaming burst power. "A total of twenty points of damage from the dagger, and another eight points from the magical fire, for twenty eight damage."
Cavan rolls next, making two called shots for the troll's eyes. One succeeds, the other fails, but Cavan is satisfied that the troll is at least partially blinded until it can regenerate. Now it's Miyo's turn, and her eyes light up.
"I've been wanting to try this ever since I achieved eighth level," she says, "I turn and run straight at the ogres, discarding my human disguise as I go, so what they see running towards them is a fiery she-demon! Are they intimidated at all?"
"Very clever," says Adam, "Roll an Intimidation Check, and add five to your roll for the inventiveness of your idea."
Miyo rolls a d20, and after adding her bonuses for Charisma and the situational +5, she announces her total is twenty two. Adam rolls a Willpower Check for the ogres. With the creatures low Intelligence and Wisdom, they don't do very well.
"Okay," says Adam, "When the ogres see you coming running at them, they stop dead in their tracks and cower in fear."
"I run right up to the War Hulk and I curse him!" she says, "What's his touch AC?"
"What's your attack roll?"
Miyo rolls a d20 and it comes up 13. Adam waves away any additions.
"Forget it, you hit him. His Touch AC is pathetic. He has a really low DEX, and his size gives him a -1 penalty. So what did you curse him with?"
"Cursed Orgasm!" she says with a grin.
Matt and Cavan both groan. "Why would you waste a spell on something as useless as that?" Tamara asks.
"You'll see," is all Miyo will say.
"Okay," says Adam, "Just what the hell does Cursed Orgasm do?"
"It makes having an orgasm so painful that it inflicts 1d6 points of damage per caster level upon the recipient, to a maximum total of 10d6. So it's kinda like getting a Lightning Bolt spell hitting you in the crotch."
"What's the Save DC?"
"To avoid it? There is none. I made my touch attack, so he's cursed. Once it's activated, he gets a Willpower Save vs DC 21 for half damage, but that's it."
"Well, because you made a touch attack, and it didn't seem to do anything, the Ogre War Hulk gets another Will Save to overcome his intimidation, and I'm giving him a plus five because of the apparent ineffectiveness of your spell. If he makes his save he gets an Attack of Opportunity."
Adam rolls a d20, once for the saving throw, then again for the Attack of Opportunity. After quickly rolling for damage he says, "Okay, Ambrosia gets hit for 22 points of damage. She goes flying backwards and lands on her back, ten feet away from the ogres. The Ogre War Hulk is stalking forward, ready to crush you with his giant flail as the other ogres stand and watch, still cowering."
"Okay," says Miyo, "Of those 22 points of damage, I only take 7 because of my damage resistance. And the War Hulk takes 22 points of fire damage thanks to my Fire Shield."
Then the other players play their turns. Cole's druid casts another Flame Strike at the same troll he had targeted before, causing lethal fire damage. The trolls attack, mauling Cavan's monk and taking him out of the battle, and doing various amounts of damage to the other player characters. Matt calls for a Power Strike with his Flame Burst Great Axe, taking a -3 to hit and a +9 to damage. He rolls a confirmed critical, inflicting an obscene amount of damage in one strike, and cauterizing the wound with 1d10 points of fire damage and slaying the troll. Justin's cleric smashes the troll he's fighting twice more with his morning star, doing an incredible amount of damage as well. Then the ogre war hulk attacks Ambrosia. Adam rolls a natural one on a d20, a critical fumble, and decides that when the spiked ball of the flail missed it's mark, it smashed through the wooden planks of the bridge and got stuck. Tony's fighter, Slash, attacks the troll he's fighting again. Six solid hits and the troll is out of the battle. Tricksy the Gnome sneak attacks the same troll again, taking him out of the fight as well. With Cavan's monk out of the fight, it's Miyo's turn once again.
With a grin on her face, she says, "I cast Orgasmic Vibrations on the ogre war hulk."
"What?" says Adam, "What does that do?"
"It gives him an orgasm per round for the entire duration of the spell."
"And what's the spell's duration?"
"One round per caster level," she says, "He gets a Will Save against a DC of 22 to avoid the effect. But if he fails, then he takes damage from the curse. That's 8d6 damage per round, every round, for the next eight rounds." She turns and smiles at the rest of the group, "I told you it wasn't a useless spell."
"That is clever," says Adam, nodding in approval, "A little twisted, but clever."
"Hey," says Miyo, shrugging her shoulders with a mischievous grin, "What can I say? My mother was a succubus."
Just as Adam is about to roll the ogre's saving throw, a woman calls down to him. "Adam!"
Adam sighs, "Always just as the game is getting good," he grumbles, then he shouts, "Yeah, Ma?"
"The pizza delivery boy is here!" she calls down.
"Great!" he says, "How much do we owe?"
"Oh, your father and I already paid for them!" she replies.
"Oh Ma, you didn't have to do that!" he calls back.
"Oh hush!" she replies, "You've got tuition to worry about! It's the least we can do for you and your friends!"
"Thanks Ma! We'll be up in a minute! We're just in the middle of something right now!"
"Okay!" she calls back, "I'll put the pizzas in the oven to keep warm!"
Just as Adam is once again about to roll the ogre's saving throw, they hear his mother scream, then something heavy hitting the floor upstairs, then silence.
"What the hell was that?" says Adam as he gets up from the table. "Ma?" he calls up the stairs, "Ma, are you okay?"
He heads over to the stairs and starts climbing up. "Ma? What's going on?"
Adam stops in mis step as he realizes that there are three points of red light resting on his chest, like three laser pointers aimed at his chest. Suddenly he remembers the movie The Terminator with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the gun with the laser sighting. Before he can react, a blast of blue energy shoots down the steps and strikes Adam in the chest. His back explodes outwards as he flies back down the stairs, landing hard on the concrete floor. The back of Adam's head makes an audible crack against the floor. He feels none of it though, his eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling.
Tamara screams and runs to her boyfriend's side. "Adam!" she cries as she futily tries to revive him, "Adam!"
The others see a pair of blades, about two feet long, apparently hovering in mid air right behind her. Too shocked to speak, they can only watch as some nearly invisible creature plunges the blades into her back. She gasps as the blades burst forth from her ribs, just below her breasts. Then the creature lifts her from the ground and holds her in the air for a moment before retracting the blades and letting her fall. It then turns towards the others and steps forward, turning off its camouflage device. The rest of the group stands and stares in stunned silence. The Predator pulls a disc from its belt, which reminds some of them of a Frisbee or a discus from track & field. Justin, being a fan of Xena: Warrior Princess realizes what it is first . . . a chakram. The Predator throws the weapon at the group. Justin hits the floor, but the others just stand there in awe. The chakram slices off the head of Matt, then Cavan, then Cole. Then, thanks to its alien technology, it banks to the right and decapitates Miyo and Tony on its way back to its owner, who catches it with the same ease the Lucy Lawless did on TV. Justin crawls under the table, hoping against hope that the killer would just leave. He looks around, trying to see the Predator's feet, and sees nothing. He waits for a moment, holding his breath, straining to hear something. All he hears is silence. Justin breathes a sigh of relief, and just as he's about to crawl out from under the table, a javelin drives down through the ping pong table above him, into his back, and out his chest, pinning him to the concrete floor. He lies there, his life's blood pooling about his body, watching helplessly as the Predator's feet climb down off of the table. The last thing he hears in this life is Adam's voice saying "Confirmed crit."