The Twenty-Second Day
Kaoru and Hikaru had to stay home, sick.
"Achoo!" Kaoru sneezed as he sat in a chair in the corner of the room, his eyes red. "Oh man, this sucks really bad. How are you supposed to take care of me when you're blowing your guts out too? I bet the school didn't think about THAT. Because with rich people, you know, safety is one of the least of concerns that they have. Maybe Haruhi's right? Maybe we are all rich bastards."
Hikaru nodded as he sneezed and he fell backwards to stare at the ceiling. He groaned and closed his burning eyes, he found it amusing somehow, how the two had the exact same cold. I guess when you're making out and kissing someone all over though, you're bound to catch their virus sooner or later, especially when you were sick in the first place. Somehow, the twins must've thought that they were invincible, and nothing could stop them! They avoided one flaw, Kaoru could barely move from the injury on his ankle, Hikaru's ankle was throbbing because of his "twin thing", and both of them were sick enough to be unable to move. They had been let stay home, and no one had come to help the twins. They were beginning to feel pity on themselves, forgetting about the other twin since they were so close they didn't have to worry about it. It's not like one was at school while the other was home sick, then they'd be spazzing out and crying for the other one.
"Like a drug," Kaoru moaned as he thought about it long enough.
Hikaru sneezed again as Kaoru did. Suddenly a thump came and the door shot open and Tamaki stood with a bottle of pills and a huge grin on his face. Hikaru groaned and thought that maybe he should kill himself so he wouldn't have to deal with Tamaki's idiotic healing techniques. Kaoru was thinking something similar, only he was thinking that Tamaki's idiotic techniques would be the death of him. Tamaki had a dumb smile on when he shouted, "Daddy's here, babies!"
"Dr. Evil?" Kaoru joked as he sneezed and he pushed down too hard on his ankle and he began crying a bit. Even his jokes couldn't keep the pain away and he found it hard to pretend that nothing was wrong with him when it hurt this bad. "Ow, ow! Help me daddy!"
Hikaru raised his eyebrow and glared at Kaoru, for even thinking of calling Tamaki "Daddy", for as far as Hikaru was concerned, Tamaki was NOTHING of a fatherly figure and shouldn't even be considered one. Yet, Kaoru called him that in the first place, and when Kaoru needed help, it was usually Tamaki he cried to first for help. Sometimes, Kaoru cried to Tamaki before he cried to even Hikaru, this bugged Hikaru severly. Hikaru never said anything about it, but he was close to. It annoyed him that somewhere in Kaoru's mind, Tamaki was ranked before Hikaru in some way, shape, and, or form.
"Let daddy help," Tamaki soothed as he rubbed some ointment onto Kaoru's ankle. Kaoru's thrashing subsided and a look of tranquility took over Kaoru's face. Kaoru actually seemed relieved and happy. "Any better, daughter?"
Kaoru nodded his head and sighed in relief. "Actually? Yes, a lot better. Where did you get that stuff?"
"I made it."
Kaoru jumped. "Is my skin burning? HIKARU?"
Tamaki and Hikaru laughed, as they both knew that Tamaki was joking around. Kaoru continued spazzing out over his ankle, thinking that Tamaki's "concoction" was going to burn his skin off and he'd die.
"You are so gullible, Kaoru," Tamaki laughed.
Kaoru blushed and shook his head. "That's not funny! I thought I was gonna die!"
"Say, did you two... really... you know... have..." Tamaki stuttered.
"Yes," The two responded. "Didn't you believe us when we told you before?"
"You actually did?" Tamaki raised his voice again.
"YES!" The two shouted. "Got a problem with that?"
Tamaki shook his head and sighed and stopped rubbing the ointment on Kaoru's ankle.
"Did it hurt?" Tamaki asked, dumbly.
"Do you even know how guys have sex?"
Tamaki shook his head again.
"Yeah, it hurts, but it's all worth it if you ask me," Kaoru replied, shrugging.
Hikaru laughed, "I guess it all really matters who's on top!"
Tamaki cringed, making the twins laugh even harder. Tamaki glared at them, and wondered if they were kidding, but the twins showed no signs of joking around, just a bunch of laughter, which made Tamaki feel sick. The twins weren't kidding about this. That meant they really DID have sex and weren't kidding around, right? Tamaki had hoped that it was all just an act, and the two were only brothers underneath it all. It didn't seem too likely with the way things were.
Maybe one day they'd be just brothers?
Again, Tamaki doubted it. He tried to imagine everyone ten years from then. He hoped that he'd be happily married to Haruhi with children, but he also hoped that the twins went off and got married to someone else besides eachother.
"Ai, is Haruhi worried?" Kaoru asked, sullenly.
Tamaki looked up at Kaoru. Of course Haruhi was worried, why did he have to ask? Should Haruhi be more worried than usual? Tamaki decided that he wouldn't question Kaoru's question further, so he responded quietly, "Of course she's worried. A bit more than usual, but not much."
Kaoru sighed, "I see."
"I see? Haruhi's really upset about this! Would you two get over yourselves?" Tamaki finally scolded.
"We are over ourselves," The two scowled.
"Get over eachother."
Kaoru looked away. He knew this wouldn't be too hard for Hikaru, but it would be extremely hard for Kaoru. Kaoru always had Hikaru's best ineterests in mind, everything he did, he could never keep Hikaru off of his mind. It was true, Kaoru was obsessed with his brother.
Kaoru never knew love, and Hikaru and him were testing it out. Unfortunately, Kaoru never felt that zing with anyone else, so he naturally was attracted to Hikaru, the one who made him feel good, happy, and important. Kaoru didn't know how he could get over Hikaru, for his whole life Hikaru had meant everything to him. EVERYTHING. When Kaoru was a child he was sure that Hikaru was his world, that nothing else mattered, for everyone else was all idiots for being unable to tell the twins apart in the first place. Tears tugged at Kaoru's eyes as he tried to imagine a life without Hikaru. He couldn't.
"I-if... I can't..." Kaoru started to explain, but he couldn't. He held his breath and bit his tongue to stop the tears from coming. Tamaki's words brought on millions of different thoughts without Hikaru. Hikaru would go off with Haruhi, Hikaru'd hate Kaoru and leave him there, Hikaru died in a crash. All them leaded to Kaoru going suicide. Kaoru couldn't think of a life without Hikaru, a life without Hikaru would be death. Hikaru was life.
Kaoru realized that he'd always been in love with Hikaru, and that's why he'd never wanted to leave Hikaru before. Maybe Hikaru would've been too lonely without Kaoru, so they stuck together. Kaoru always took his brother for granted, too blind to see what his brother meant to him. Kaoru only noticed when Hikaru was torn away from him.
The first time was for a time-out.
THIS was for a life-time.
I can't live without Hikaru... I need him... I love him... Kaoru thought and he had to continue to bite down on his tongue, the taste of blood had already taken over his mouth. Kaoru did not want to cry in front of Hikaru, in front of Tamaki, Kaoru didn't want to cry in front of anyone. He didn't want to cry in front of outsiders, traitors.
They were both traitors now.
"Just get over it," Tamaki sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blow up. Haruhi's just so worried and kind of upset over this whole thing, it's unnatural and I'm really worried about my darling, Haruhi. Just get over eachother and come back when you feel ready."
"What do you mean, get over eachother?" Hikaru finally budged.
"I don't mean you two have to... you know... stop loving eachother, but stop being so obsessed with the other," Tamaki tried to explain, holding his tongue so he didn't go off onto some rant or use missapropriate language. "If, you two know what I mean, of course."
"I'm not obsessed with Kaoru."
Kaoru tried to open his mouth, but his head hurt from all the lies. The lies of love, of pain, of Kaoru telling them all that he was okay, Kaoru couldn't take lying anymore, especially when his twin could leave him for it. Kaoru didn't want to lose Hikaru.
It wasn't Kaoru's fault he was obsessed with Hikaru.
It was THEIR fault.
Kaoru shook his head.
"I think I hear you getting better, Hikaru?" Kaoru tried to sidetrack them both.
"Oh yeah, I haven't sneezed in the past ten minutes, and I actually feel a lot better!" Hikaru exclaimed, happily. Kaoru frowned, because he was feeling like hell, weren't the twins supposed to share everything? Kaoru wanted them to be the same person again. He began hating Lex, she was the one who tore the two apart, bit by bit, like a rubber band. One hand slipped and the two shot back together, so she began trying again. Each time the rubber band weakened, and soon the two would be seperated for good, for more people were have fun with that rubber band, and Kaoru's end was getting the pain the most. Kaoru was the one weakening, and Kaoru didn't know how much longer he could handle all this. He wished he was a child again, when everything was simple. Hikaru, Kaoru. The furthly definitive words hadn't yet crawled into their vocabulary, so it was all alright.
"You can go to school tomorrow then," Kaoru pointed out. "You both take care of Haruhi, okay?"
"But you'll be here alone, and you can't-"
"I'll be fine."
Tamaki and Hikaru looked at eachother, Kaoru wanted them to leave so he could cry. The taste of blood came even stronger as Kaoru bit harder down on his tongue. This didn't help much, and more tears tugged at Kaoru's eyes, and he wanted to scream out. Kaoru didn't want Hikaru this time.
Hikaru betrayed him.
Again.
Hikaru and Tamaki finally decided that Hikaru was well enough to go to school for the rest of the day since it wasn't even lunch time, yet. They took Kaoru and put him in the bed and set his lunch beside him, for when he was hungry, and they left him. Kaoru was all alone again. He didn't feel ultimately depressed this time, Kaoru was becoming used to being alone. Kaoru broke in long sobs, becoming deeper as he thought about his life.
Kaoru was a vase, constantly broken, and being glued back again and again, but soon enough, the vase would become harder and harder to glue back together. The pieces had become worn, and had a bit of glue remaining on them, the vase becoming bigger from the insulation between the pieces. Kaoru was sick of it. If he was meant to break, then he should be left broken, but Kaoru thought that too soon. Kaoru sat in his room, sobbing, broken, and no one was there to pick him up. No one was going to help him this time. Everyone had betrayed him, even that lovely face he adored so much.
Kaoru didn't want anyone in specific, he just wanted someone. He had already stopped talking to Chris a long time ago, when Chris stopped crushing on Kaoru. Kaoru found it so annoying, that he'd be laying there, bleeding, with no one to hold him. He was sure now that God hated him. That everyone hated him. Kaoru wanted to scream out and have someone help him. Kaoru didn't necessarily want anyone. He just wanted it all to be gone. The pain.
Kaoru didn't know it, but Hikaru and Tamaki hadn't left. They stood by the door, peering in through a crack at Kaoru. They weren't sure if he was really okay and ready to be left alone. They were right on that one. They stared at Kaoru as bits of blood dripped down his face from his bleeding tongue, and he'd become engulfed in sadness, and he sobbed and sobbed. Kaoru only continued staring at the ceiling, never asking for anyone, for anything.
"Are... you happy yet?" Kaoru finally asked as he began trying to breath normally again. "Are you happy with me yet?"
Hikaru's side of the rubber band was still fighting, still strong, but Kaoru's end was easy to pull, and the middle began to weaken, a little closer to Kaoru's. Hikaru would have a bit more of life and himself than Kaoru would. Kaoru was more like a dying doll, waiting for it's punishment. Kaoru felt like that too.
Kaoru's sobs subsided, and he just stared.
"Alone..." Kaoru laughed as he tried to move, wincing at his ankle and the pain in his mouth. "All alone again. It's kind of funny, actually. I talk to myself WAY too much, but it's better that way. I'm my best friend, after all."
Kaoru paused and thought about his words. Best friend? Yes, it was true, Kaoru loved himself more than anyone else loved Kaoru. Yet, Kaoru hated himself more than anything else in the world. Kaoru hated himself for letting go of Hikaru. Kaoru hated himself for going out with and making her hurt. Kaoru hated himself for even using the word "himself" and "myself" in his vocabulary. Kaoru groaned and shoved a pillow onto his face.
"I'm my worst enemy as well!" Kaoru moaned. "Why did you make it so difficult?"
Kaoru thought about how no one seemed to be unique in reality, everyone went through similar problems. There was always a druggie who was like another druggie, there was always a depressed person who was like another depressed person. How often did you find a twin who was madly in love with his brother, and hated himself so much that everything hurt when you looked at it? Kaoru doubted anyone was in a hell like this. He hated to tell himself it, but Kaoru was truly unique. Unique in pain. He wouldn't be unique in death though. All the ways to die had already been taken over. Well, except for something unnatural, like a puppy choking you and eating out your throat. ((Random crack I thought of when playing with my puppy))
"Why does it still hurt so much? Hikaru loves me, I should be happy and giddy!" Kaoru tried to tell himself. His head hurt severly, and he started to regret sending Tamaki and Hikaru off, not knowing they were watching him and listening to every word he said. "I should be... happy and giddy."
Kaoru began to cry again, sounding more childish and wimpy, like you could step on him and he'd crack, like a bug.
"I never knew it could hurt so much!" Kaoru complained. "I bet even Juliet didn't have this much problems."
Kaoru sobbed and shook his head as he stared at his ceiling.
"It hurts..."
Hikaru's POVKaoru's been acting weird lately. I thought that when I did things he liked, he'd become happy. It doesn't seem to be happening though. Milord came and was supposed to take care of us, but I'd gotten better and was supposed to go off to school. Only, Tamaki had the whole day off to take care of us, so we decided to hide and watch Kaoru to see what he would do. He began sobbing and complaining... to who though? No one? Himself? God? It makes no sense to me.
Kaoru's so weird.
Tamaki's POV
My daughter began crying the moment we left. I think Kaoru was waiting for us to leave so he could sob and cry and complain.
I feel... so much pity for him. I know what it's like to lose someone precious to you, but it must hurt so much more for him. He sees that person he lost everyday. He sleeps with the person who he lost. Hikaru probably doesn't even realize it, for they're both idiots. They're still like little five year olds, for they never had a normal childhood, they're their only friend. It must hurt so much.
Kaoru seems... really hurt.
What does he think he should do about it? Something... un-life-threatening, I hope.