Note: Sorry my grammar sucks

The Thirty-First Day Wednesday

Kaoru had come home with Nekozawa the other day, Nekozawa apologized for all the trouble he caused and everything, and Hikaru forgave him, just so long as he could wrap his arms around Kaoru again.

"Mmm, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked as he opened his eyes. It was way past school starting time. "What's going on?"

Hikaru's hand was on Kaoru's cheek, and Hikaru was trying to smile, but a tear escaped.

"You're awake," Hikaru chuckled. "Thank God."

The elder layed down next to the younger and pulled his arms around him and buried his face.

"Oh, God..." Hikaru whispered. "I was up all night, waiting for you. Then you come home... like... like this."

"This?"

It all came back. The house, the truck. The fear. That gothic man.

A blush crept onto Kaoru's face.

"H... Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered. "I don't think... I..."

"What?" Hikaru whispered.

Tears longed to burst from Kaoru and he tried to move to his brother's aid, but a shocking pain crept up his spine and shook his mind. He couldn't think. Numbness controlled him for a whole minute, he couldn't do anything. The scratches and deep cuts were all over him, and he had a bunch on his head and his legs were cut up from jumping over the large shards of glass recklessly. It was surprising he wasn't in the hospital. Of course, Hikaru clung to him, and no one could get Kaoru away for treatment. No, Kaoru wasn't supposed to get hurt. Not without Hikaru there for him.

"I think I like Nekozawa," Kaoru admitted.

"No..." Hikaru sobbed and he pulled his brother close to him, pain shooting through Kaoru from the sudden movement. More pain was in his head.

Sometimes, Kaoru wished it was gone. All of it. Love, pain, hatred.

"You can't leave me," Hikaru hissed, squeezing Kaoru's body against his. Kaoru wrapped his frail arms around his brother and he began to sob, his louder to veil his brother's deep sobs. "You can't leave me. We're twins, we're brothers. You can never leave me, promise me that."

"I can't," Kaoru sobbed. "Promise me I'm not going to hell."

That came back so suddenly, that little girl. The first day she was there, the third day. Kaoru was going to hell.

It seemed to matter now.

"Hell?" Hikaru whispered. "Hell would be a blessing."

A veil of something clutched Kaoru and he sobbed and shook and pulled his brother closer to him as those sobs came back, he didn't want to go to hell, not without Hikaru. His elder couldn't promise him anything, he wouldn't say he was coming with Kaoru, and every unanswered promise made the veil get stronger and dig deeper into his mind.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried. "You can't leave me! I won't leave you if you can't leave me! Please Hikaru, don't let them get me... don't let them get me..."

Suddenly, Kaoru turned into a mumbling maniac, a psycho. Hikaru pulled away and lounged there, staring at his brother as he mumbled over and over again. Seriously though, no one was out to get him. Why did he act like it? Did Kaoru really believe in that heaven and hell crap? Something was wrong with him, and Hikaru felt that this wasn't his brother anymore, and it scared him, to see Kaoru tremble, to see him cry, to see him whine. Kaoru was usually the stronger one with an always cool composure.

"It's okay, Kaoru," Hikaru tried to comfort.

"It's not!" Kaoru shouted and whined. "It's not okay! They're going to get me and you don't care! You don't!"

"Ka-"

"You're a liar!"

The younger had curled up in a ball, on his side, mumbling and crying and whining. It hurt Hikaru to hear it, to see it. Even though they'd admitted how they felt, for some reason, they couldn't come to say it again. Weak willed you could call it.

"You said you loved me, you said you'd always be there," Kaoru whispered. "But you're not, you won't, you can't. You don't care, you won't be there, you wouldn't follow, you're crazy. I'm crazy. I'm going to hell and you're not. You're good. I'm bad. There's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me."

"It must've been last night," Hikaru tried to shrug it off.

No, Kaoru'd been like this for awhile. That's what started the fight.

"He's crazy."

That's what started the whole trying to kill eachother fight. They were constantly at war with eachother, sometimes a love war, struggling for dominance, and other times a war for the littlest things. Were they little to Kaoru?

"You're crazy," Hikaru whispered.

"There's something wrong..." Kaoru cried. "I'm insane, I'm crazy! You're crazy, you're a liar, you're a cheater. You should be going to hell, not me. Not me. Not me. They can't get me. They can't. I have... I have you, you'll protect me. But that's a lie too. You hate me. Everyone hates me. I hate me. What's wrong with me? Hikaru! There's something wrong with me! Honestly, there's something wrong, something's wrong."

Watching his brother reduce to crying and whining and whimpering cut a nerve and he quickly lurched for his cellphone.

"Hello?" His mother's voice answered.

"Ma! Kaoru's crazy!" Hikaru quickly gasped. "He's insane! He needs help!"

"Where's the proof?" She asked, sceptically.

Hikaru took his phone and put it infront of Kaoru, praying that she could hear his whines and complaints.

"See?"

"What's wrong with him?" She asked, worried. "Stop joking around, Hikaru. This isn't funny."

"It's not a joke."

Their mom decided she was going to come home from her fashion tour and get Kaoru to the hospital, or somewhere. She agreed, there was something wrong with Kaoru, and she wanted him better. Kaoru couldn't go crazy, there was something else wrong with him, and she wanted to get it fixed. Everything could be fixed after all.

"Kaoru..." Hikaru cooed as he placed his hand on Kaoru's, but Kaoru swatted it away.

"Don't touch me!" Kaoru whimpered. "Leave me alone..."

Hikaru got up, off of the bed, for he knew he had to wait downstairs for his mom to get home. He couldn't leave that room, nothing could get him out, those whines and cries stuck him there. How much longer was he just going to ignore this? He'd been ignoring it for months, for weeks.

"Kaoru! Stop!" Hikaru snapped.

"Leave me alone!" Kaoru sobbed. "Go away..."

Kaoru's hands went to his ears and he sat up, rocking back and forth.

"Just... leave me alone and go away..."

Rage overtook the other brother and he tackled his younger. Rage of his ignorance, rage of what his brother had done and then he just pushed him away. He wouldn't ignore this anymore, he couldn't. It hurt too much, it made him want to cry along with him, and Hikaru was tired of it. He wanted Kaoru to know he was there, he wasn't going to leave him. No, Hikaru was never going to leave Kaoru. Kaoru was his and his alone, Nekozawa couldn't get him, Kaoru couldn't like him.

"SHUT UP!" Hikaru shouted. "STOP! You're mine! No one elses! Don't tell me to go away, don't tell me to leave you alone! I won't! I can't!"

"You've done it before," Kaoru sobbed as Hikaru held his wrists above them on their pillows.

Hikaru brought their lips together and Kaoru calmed.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru whispered. "I'm sorry Kaoru, I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

"Not that. That other thing."

"I'm sorry?"

"No, that other thing you said earlier," Kaoru whimpered.

"You're mine?"

"Yes..."

Hikaru smiled. "You're mine. Only mine. I'm yours, and only yours. No one else can have me, no one else can have you."

Kaoru smiled and his body relaxed and his eyes closed.

"Okay..." Kaoru cooed. "Alright."

"If you're going to hell I'm going with, because we go everywhere together, we're twins, we're brothers, and even better, we're lovers," Hikaru continued as one of his hands left Kaoru's wrists and went to his cellphone. "Make sure you always know that."

"Hikaru?" Came his mother's frantic voice.

"It's okay, I got it under control," Hikaru confirmed. "It's alright, you can stay."

"Oh, I was so worried because I was going so slow! I'm still putting my stuff away!"

"Put them back. It's okay now."

"...Okay, Hikaru."

The elder hung up and layed next to his little brother and smiled. No more screaming, no more crying, no more whining, and Kaoru was still awake, gazing into his eyes with his own. The younger boy seemed to be at peace, and it made the older boy so happy. Hikaru couldn't take his arms off of Kaoru and they layed in the bed together, and Hikaru wasn't sure if he ever wanted it to change, not even for that girl with the big eyes and the male uniform on her flat chested body.

"Kaoru..." Hikaru whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Hikaru."

Hikaru took a risk and he brought their bodies together and they melted at the other's touch and their foreheads were together, and Hikaru wrapped his legs around Kaoru to mimick his arms.

"Is this real?" Kaoru sobbed. "Tell me it is. Don't make it a dream. If it is, don't wake me up."

It was odd to Hikaru, that Kaoru talked about him in his sleep. Kaoru would whisper his name over and over again, "Hikaru... Hikaru..." The siren's song to Hikaru. He just wanted to make Kaoru say it again, his name, his name gracing those angelic lips, he only wanted to know what happened in those dreams.

He wanted to, but he didn't want to. Kaoru didn't dream.

Kaoru had nightmares.

"What do you dream about?" Hikaru finally asked.

"Scary stuff."

"You say my name," Hikaru added. "Is that so scary?"

"Very scary. You try to... try to..." Kaoru's throat felt dry and he couldn't continue.

"What? I try to what?"

Kaoru couldn't speak. He couldn't tell his lover that in his dreams, Hikaru was his tormentor in everything he did. The touch, the kisses, the strangling, no matter what happened, it hurt. It was an intoxicating hurt, a hurt you wanted more of, a masochistic pain. Sometimes Hikaru was trying to kill him, and other times they were doing... perverted things, but no matter what happened, it always hurt, and Kaoru couldn't bring himself against the one he adored.

"Nevermind."

Kaoru's POV

It scares me sometimes, how if any of my dreams came real, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Like that one dream I had the other week, where Hikaru was trying to strangle me in the tub again, I can't bring myself to do that to him, to let him die there. I would rather die than have him kill himself. It always happens now. In my dreams? I don't resist, he can do anything to me. As long as I don't see pain on that face, tears in those eyes, hatred on his lips. I never want to see that again, I never want to hear that again. It's making me go insane. I love him so much, it just makes me wonder if he actually loves me the same amount back.

I hope Hikaru loves me that much, he said he did. He said he loved me. Still, every touch, every kiss, every lick, it all hurts.

When we're together and his hand trails up and down my chest, it makes me want to cry. It hurts so much, to know I have to share that with the rest of the rest of the world. I don't want to share that! That is mine. Hikaru is mine, and I won't ever let anyone ever touch me. When I was with Nekozawa and I was so scared, I wanted Hikaru, I longed for him. Still, Nekozawa was there, not Hikaru. For the first time in my life, someone else was comforting me, and it felt so good. I lost sight of Hikaru, and it hurts so much.

I'm unfaithful, I'm a bad person. I'm going to hell... I... I'm, I'm a horrible person!

It doesn't matter though, he's coming with me. He promised...

He promised...