If Only
By Jeni Draco's Girl
Well…Hasn't it been a while?? " How embarrassing…but now I have finished high school!! …and starting uni soon may make this the only chapter for a while…so…I'm very sorry. Parts of this have been swimming around in my head for the whole time I was away on holiday (to New Zealand) so hopefully it's just a matter of stringing them together…we'll see, I suppose.
Now that Jeni's arrived at Draco's place, whatever will happen next???
The door swung open silently, and a man entered, his blond hair immediately giving away his identity.
"Draco, welcome home," he said, in a tone that could almost have been affectionate.
Lucius Malfoy was a very imposing presence. He was tall and wide shouldered, although in an elegant way. His face was highly structured and defined, and his hair neatly held back with a black ribbon at the nape of his neck. He wore a very expensive-looking tailored suit, black of course, and a robe in such a dark shade of green that it was hardly identifiable as such. His right hand rested casually on a long black cane with a silver cobra's head, which Jeni found rather chilling to look at. He looked such a picture of aristocracy that Jeni felt dizzy and had to look away.
In the meantime, Lucius had moved on to greet Henri. Just as he turned back towards her, Draco stepped forwards.
"Father," he began, "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Miss Jeni Starre. Jeni, this is my father, Lucius Malfoy." Jeni rested her fingers as lightly as she could on the offered hand and curtseyed with all the grace she could muster, as she felt soft lips brush over her fingertips. "Enchanté," Lucius said with an air of kindness. Jeni looked up and accidentally met his gaze, and saw him smirk as he awaited her response. Jeni felt her throat tighten and then responded with the same smirk she'd practised all that time ago to use on Draco.
"Well," Lucius said, "I'll get back to supervising the preparations and let Draco show you to your rooms and get you settled in. We won't be expecting you down until dinner, so that should give you plenty of time."
"Yes father," Draco said as the man left and Jeni let out the breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding.
Draco led them up many, many stairs and down many corridors, until they reached a door. He showed Henri in, indicated that Emily's rooms were next door, and then took Jeni over to the other side of the corridor.
"Now, there's a door connecting our rooms together, and you should knock before you come in, alright?"
Jeni nodded obediently.
"Good. I'll leave you to it for a while."
Jeni hurriedly agreed, wanting to know what the room was like as soon as possible, especially considering how beautiful the ones at Henri's house had been. Draco opened the door for her and she stepped in straight away, barely noticing him shut it behind her.
Jeni wandered further into the large lounge area she'd entered. Everything was in pale colours with dark wood. There were several large squishy couches positioned around an open fireplace, with huge fluffy cushions piled on them and around on the floor. One wall was wood-panelled, and it had several shelves full of books and a cabinet with all the snacks Jeni loved. She decided straight away that this trip was not going to be good for her.
Across from the door, windows looked out onto seemingly endless lawns and gardens, and she was sure she could see a lake and some low buildings in the distance.
Many doors led off the main room – one, she soon discovered, went outside onto the balcony. Another was to the bathroom, which was tiled in pink and bronze. There was an enormous bath, and the room was wonderfully warm. She gazed at the many taps along the edge of the bath. At home, there were two. But here…Jeni experimentally turned one, only to be shocked as large purple bubbles scented like lavender started dripping out. Experimentation revealed others to be scented like mandarin, strawberry or vanilla – one was even chocolate – and one very fancy tap introduced sparkling goldfish into the water. Having tried each one, Jeni fixed her mind on having a bath straight away, opting for strawberry and vanilla bubbles, with goldfish of course, as she didn't want to use them all and end up smelling like a fruit salad.
One bath and a very fluffy towel later, Jeni's mind returned to exploration. The next room she chose turned out to be a very extensive wardrobe which contained all the clothes Draco had bought her, along with some she was sure he hadn't. Down the end of the room, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling mirrors, was the blue ball gown on a dress stand. Jeni found herself gasping once more as the silver beads on the bodice shimmered in the light of the candles that had flickered into life. She walked towards it, relishing the feel of thick carpet under her bare feet, and reached out to touch the smooth, cloud-like, pure silk. She sighed, thinking of how amazing the last few months with Draco had been. Then she shook her head, her thoughts returning to purely material matters and the unknown size of her bed.
The bed, surprisingly enough, was not what grabbed Jeni's attention as she swung open the door to the last remaining room. What did, however, was the garment draped over the corner of the bed. A garment that definitely did not constituted Jeni's idea of decent sleepwear. It most certainly did not. Draco had clearly enjoyed his shopping detour far more than Jeni had thought…
She snatched up the tiny thing and stormed out of the bedroom, across the lounge and straight through the door that connected her to Draco's rooms.
"Draco!" she called, for he wasn't in the room, "Draco, what do you think this…is…um…well…"
Draco had just emerged from what must have been his bathroom, still damp, his hair dripping water, and wearing nothing but a black towel low around his waist. Jeni felt she'd faint right then and there.
"How easily we forget, kitten," Draco said as he approached her.
"Hmm…what?" Jeni replied, her mind hardly capable of cohesive thought at that moment.
"The door, kitten. You didn't knock, did you?"
"Oh…um…well, you see…" Jeni stuttered as she backed into the wall under the pressure of Draco's gaze. Despite this, he was still soon right in front of her. He ran a finger gently across her collarbone and up her throat to her chin, causing a shiver to run straight through her, and then bent down as though to kiss her, but stopped, his mouth just an inch from hers.
"You need to learn to explore all your options," Draco whispered, before swiftly opening the door that was beside Jeni and pushing her out, somehow managing to swat her behind on the way. Jeni heard the door close behind her.
Well, I never! Jeni thought indignantly. And anyway, explore what options? She made her way dazedly back to the bedroom, only to notice that either side of the bed was a small set of drawers. Ah, Jeni realised a few moments later, having discovered quite a few sets of appropriate and decent pyjamas. Options. She flopped back onto the bed. How could she not have realised that Draco had just been having a joke? Honestly, as if he'd really expected her to wear that. Jeni felt laughter at her own idiocy rising inside her and then bubble out, her anger with it. She stopped as she heard the door to Draco's room open and close. A smirk slipped across her face and she got up and stepped out of the bedroom.
"How easily we forget, eh?" she said, pleased she could throw the line back at the man standing in front of her, now fully dressed. He chose to ignore her, instead moving forward and sliding his hands around her waist, pulling her close to him.
"Do you realise how silly you can be?" Draco asked, teasingly, his eyes studying her face so intently she could feel it.
"Perhaps," she replied, pulling away and going to sit down, being careful to hold her posture correctly lest he reprimand her again. "But clearly you do. You know, I have half a mind to suspect you planned the whole thing just so I'd see you without your shirt on." She sneaked a sideways glance to try and see if he'd reacted, but again he didn't. The fact that she couldn't get a rise out of him was beginning to frustrate her. Jeni sighed and flopped back, but all that caused was for Draco to come and sit down beside her and prod her waist, causing her to sit up again with a jerk and a grumble.
"It's seven o'clock," he said. "Are you planning on going to dinner like that?"
Jeni started at the unexpectedness of the comment, and then realised that it was, in fact, quite dark outside, the last pale glow of sunset lingering on the horizon. She also noticed, for the first time, that Draco himself was already dressed for dinner, in dress-robes with a silvery-grey shirt that matched one of her dresses.
"No," Jeni answered, standing. She went and let herself into the dressing room, leaving Draco to do as he pleased. As she took down the hanger for the silver dress, a flash of light from behind her made her spin around, only to notice a thin drawer in the square seat in the centre of the room. She was quite sure it hadn't been there before, but she was learning that you could never be sure of these things in Draco's house. Sliding open the drawer, Jeni discovered a shimmering collar-necklace with a matching bracelet, and diamond stud earrings. Her breath caught in her throat. It must have been the most expensive thing she'd ever seen. There was a small card sitting the corner, which read simply, 'An overdue gift, with love'. Jeni frowned, but left it, going over to the mirror to get changed.
She slipped into the dress, a satin floor length dream, with a small train that pooled behind her and a modest V-neckline, the two straps narrowing over her shoulders to criss-cross down her back to her waist. Just as she was done satisfactorily arranging them, a house-elf appeared by her side, which nearly sent her tumbling to the floor in shock. The house-elf shrieked in horror.
"Poppy is very sorry miss, she is not meaning to scare you at all!"
"Oh…no, I'm fine…" Jeni replied, as the elf looked desperately around the room in search of a sharp object.
"I'm fine! Really!" she exclaimed. Poppy seemed to calm down.
"Well, if it's alright, miss, Master Malfoy is sending me to be doing miss's hair."
"Um, yes…okay." Jeni sat down on the nearest chair, feeling highly uncomfortable as the elf climbed onto a stool behind her. Twenty minutes of wondering what Draco had been doing all this time later, she stepped back in front of the mirror to inspect the result of Poppy's gentle tugging and whispered magic, and gasped. Almost all of her hair was pulled back and up, leaving two neat curls framing her face. The rest was held in a bunch by pale pink rose buds, and cascaded in loose curls over her right shoulder. Jeni was shocked out of her reverie by a slight pull on her dress. She looked down.
"If you don't mind sitting back down miss, Poppy still has to do miss's makeup too."
"Oh! Of course," Jeni said, obeying right away, since obliging and cheerful was probably the best way to be with an elf inclined to self harm. Poppy moved her stool around and set to work again. When Jeni peered in the mirror once more, she did not think she'd ever looked so pretty in her life. Her lips were the same shade of pink as the roses in her hair, her cheeks glowed and her eyes sparkled, fringed by long thick lashes that made them look bluer than ever. Just as she turned around to thank the elf, Poppy disappeared with a crack.
Sighing inwardly, Jeni selected and put on a pair of matching shoes, and then the earrings and bracelet from the lone drawer. She picked up the necklace, gave herself a quick look over and then stepped out the door.
For possibly the first time, Jeni managed to elicit from Draco a reaction similar to hers when she'd entered his room earlier that evening. She smiled, performed a little twirl, and held up the necklace.
"You didn't…?"
"No," he replied, taking it from her. She turned around and held her hair out of the way. "I'm not telling either," he continued, as he fastened the clasp. Jeni pouted. "There's no use moping. You'll find out soon enough." He slid his arm around her waist and guided her to the door. "And," he whispered, placing a kiss below her ear as he opened it, "you look stunning."
"So do you, Master Malfoy," Jeni replied. Draco rolled his eyes.
"It's positively embarrassing, the way those house-elves carry on. Not to mention it makes me sound like a child. Father's is the only title around here worth having – he's a lord." Jeni found herself catching a glimpse of the old Draco she hadn't seen in a while, though she supposed it was simply preparation for the people they were about to encounter. "Here we go then," Draco said, placing Jeni's hand around his arm as the doors they were now in front of opened.
Jeni found herself pulled into a flurry of introductions. The large room was packed with people, and she wondered fleetingly how large the mansion must be for them all to be staying here, especially if the rooms were as large as her own.
Many of the names she recognised from school and it seemed that most of those present were Slytherins. The prospect of spending a week in such company was daunting, but it was what she'd already resigned herself to. Luckily there was almost no need on Jeni's part for her to contribute to any conversations that sprang up between Draco and the adults of that moment. And in this way, no one really stuck in Jeni's mind, except one woman. She had dark hair and bright blue eyes, and there was something oddly familiar about her that nagged at Jeni's mind. The woman was with her husband, Lord Zabini, who was amazingly tall, with very dark skin and slanted eyes. Jeni immediately placed them as Blaise's parents, although she could see more in common between Blaise and his father, as opposed to his mother. They were also Draco's Godparents.
After some time milling around and chatting, the flood of people made their way through to the dining hall, which contained the longest table Jeni thought she'd ever seen in her life. She was happily seated between Draco and Henri, who she was glad to see again. Throughout the meal, Jeni's mind kept returning to Lady Zabini, and she spared frequent glances down the table to where the beautiful woman was sitting with her husband. Her son, Blaise, was further down with some other students from his year at school. It was during one of these glances that Jeni noticed a curious, thin scar running diagonally across her neck. It had been hidden by her hair, but at that particular moment, she turned her head and her hair fell out of the way. Her eyes caught Jeni's, and she smiled kindly before turning back to the man to whom she'd been talking.
As the meal finished, and people began to get up from the table, Jeni saw Narcissa Malfoy for the first time. She had been sitting down one end of the table, Lucius at the other. She had the same aristocratic bearing as both her husband and son, her hair so pale it was almost white, and her eyes an icy blue. She was certainly beautiful – Jeni, like everyone else, had heard the rumours of her being part veela. Yet there was also the obvious coldness about her that came with the type of society in which she lived.
By this time, the party had begun to move off to different rooms in smaller groups, and it was becoming quite late. She gradually realised that Draco was steering her and Henri towards the door. And then they were out.
"That eager to get out, were you?" Jeni asked.
"We're going to have to spend the next week with all these people, aren't we," Draco replied. "There's no need to spend more time with them than strictly necessary."
"What about you?" Jeni asked Henri. "Are you just going to leave Emily in there?"
"She's with her friends and her parents. She's fine," Henri responded, brushing off Jeni's almost accusatory tone.
Jeni sighed. "Well, I guess it's time for bed then." She yawned.
"Not yet it isn't," Draco said.
"Hmm?" Jeni replied sleepily.
"Look at that," Henri said to Draco. "She's already gone into sleep mode."
"You can't sleep now, you've only just eaten," Draco said.
"Just eaten? That meal lasted over two hours! I'm exhausted!"
"Well, get unexhausted then. Draco got one of those telah-vision things that you mentioned once, so we were going to watch some mooves."
Jeni laughed, her brain shifting into gear again as they walked back to Draco's room. "It's called a television, and they're movies…not that you probably care that much. But can I get changed first? Into actual pyjamas?"
She reached her door and went in, hearing Henri ask Draco, "What does she mean, 'actual pyjamas'?"
A few hours later, and they were all seated in their pyjamas in beanbags in Draco's lounge, with boxes of popcorn and the biggest, shiniest TV Jeni had ever encountered. Strangely, despite how new the screen was, the movies Draco had gotten – and who knew where from – were all quite old, and many she'd never seen before. The first one they'd watched was The Picture of Dorian Gray, something Henri and Draco had managed to understand quite easily, as they were used to moving pictures (see A/N). They also watched Singing in the Rain before Jeni decided to go to bed, a film Draco described as having "too many muggle devices" for his liking.
Jeni left the boys trying to decide between an old 'James Bond' movie and Casablanca, and fell asleep almost as soon as she'd managed to worm her way in amongst all the covers and pillows.
When Jeni woke the next morning it was to the quiet chatter of the guests outside in the gardens, some strolling, others playing croquet. The clock on the table beside her announced that it was already well past ten, and why wasn't she up yet? Jeni groaned, contemplated smashing the clock on the floor, and struggled into a sitting position. Once she was up, she noticed a letter propped up on the table to her other side, her name written across the front in curling script. She cautiously reached over and picked it up, snapping the seal on the back with her eyes half closed, almost expecting it to explode in her face.
The letter read simply:
I would appreciate if you would meet me in the third library at 11.30 this morning, as I have something very important to talk to you about.
Sincerely, Scarlet Zabini
Jeni stared at the letter for several minutes, thinking about the woman she'd met last night and her unexplained familiarity, before realising that eleven thirty was in less than an hour. And she wasn't dressed. And she hadn't eaten breakfast. And she didn't even know where the third library was.
She leapt out of bed, still clutching the letter, and ran to the door to Draco's room, knocking on it as hard as she could.
Inside, Draco stirred from where he was asleep still on his beanbag, Henri beside him, and as he sat up, his muscles complaining at having slept in such uncomfortable conditions, he noticed Henri's hand resting on his thigh.
Just as Jeni gave up waiting and opened the door, Draco stood up as fast as he could, causing Henri's hand to hit the floor, and the boy to also wake up. Jeni thus entered to find Draco standing and staring strangely at Henri, who was nursing his hand.
"Um…Draco," Jeni said, walking over to the two boys and trying to ignore the weird feeling in the air. She held up the letter.
"You'd better get dressed then," he replied once he'd read it.
"Oh," Jeni said. "So it's safe?"
"Of course."
"Right…" Jeni went back to her room; remembering first that she had forgotten to ask Draco about breakfast, and then that there was a large cupboard of snacks in her room. She opened it only to find a tray with some toast, orange juice and a banana, which was, coincidentally (or not), exactly what she'd wanted to eat.
Nibbling on a toast triangle, she let herself into the wardrobe to pick out an outfit, finish eating and brush her hair, spelling it into neat curls afterwards – a trick she'd taught herself long ago out of necessity.
It was in this way that half an hour later, Draco had left her outside the third library which was a floor down from their rooms, but not too far away.
For a few moments, she could do nothing but stare at the door. After all, she had no idea why this beautiful, pure-blood witch wanted to see her, or what supposedly important thing she had to impart. But she couldn't turn back now, and curiosity more than anything else lifted her hand to knock on the tall, dark wooden door. A voice from within responded, and before she could find a handle, the door opened itself.
Jeni blinked as she entered; trying to adjust her eyes to how dark it was inside. The room appeared to not have any windows, and was lit only by a large fire, by the light of which she could see that the walls were covered with books. In the middle of the room were some couches and seats, upon one of which sat Scarlet Zabini.
"Jeni," she said invitingly, "come and sit down with me."
Jeni hesitated for a moment, the sound of the door closing itself behind her with an air of finality serving only to make her more nervous. Yet she did as instructed, sitting a careful distance from Lady Zabini. Luckily she did not have to speak, as the woman began straight away.
"For many years I have thought about how I would ever tell you if the time came that we met," she said. "And to be honest, I still haven't come up with a suitable plan. But the best place to start is usually the beginning, and so there is a story that I'm going to tell you." Scarlet took a deep breath.
"When I was at Hogwarts myself, many years ago, the social and blood divides were much stronger than they are now. My parents had moved from Germany before I was born, but despite being foreign I managed to be well accepted due to my family being pureblood, and rich. I was in Ravenclaw, but many of my friends were Slytherins – or, I should say, the children of my parents' friends were Slytherins. The year before I started school, my parents had signed a betrothal contract with the Zabinis. Their son Christian, to whom I am now married, was in the same year as Lucius Malfoy and many of the others here, which meant that I barely knew him – he was in his seventh year when I entered my first.
"There was one point during my school years where I felt the restrictions imposed by our society to be almost unbearable. I was in my sixth year, and Ravenclaw was with Gryffindor for transfiguration. For the most part I'd never really liked Gryffindors – always rushing into things with such overconfidence… but there was one in that class who stood out to me, and, well, let's just say that the feeling was mutual. Obviously though, there could never be anything between us – apart from the fact that I was already betrothed, his family wasn't that well-to-do, and I had no hope of changing my parents' minds." She paused to take a drink from the glass beside her on the table. Jeni wondered why the woman was telling her this story, but she figured that there would be a point to it eventually, and in any case, she was sure it would eventually lead to the reason she was sitting there.
"And so I had no choice but to put him behind me once I'd left school. Christian and I were married that summer, and within a year I was pregnant with Blaise. Marriage was more painfully boring than anything I'd ever imagined, and so I spent a lot of time trying to think of a way to escape. After Blaise was born, I became depressed. I was trapped in a marriage with a man I didn't love and who didn't love me, much less care about me, especially since I'd already produced the required son. Even though I loved Blaise, the pressure of my life had gotten to me so much that one day I did what I'd always planned to. I ran away." Scarlet stopped, and stared into the fire. "I was lucky, because on Diagon Alley I ran into a man – the boy from sixth year transfiguration. He'd become an auror – the need was high since the war had already begun, and they were signing up anyone who would join. Even though Diagon Alley was a reasonably safe place, Voldemort's followers were becoming more and more daring with their attacks, and as soon as I told him what had happened and why I was there, he took me back to his apartment, which was at least a great deal safer." She stopped again. Jeni was starting to suspect that she knew where this was going.
"It was only a matter of days before Christian's friends found me. Jonathan tried to stop them taking me back," Jeni froze at the mention of her father's name, "but I didn't want him to get hurt – and I knew that my time was up. They didn't touch me, but once I was back home Christian was determined that I would regret everything I had done." She subconsciously touched the scar on her neck. "He was furious that I had insulted and disgraced him in such a manner. And when he found out that I was pregnant…he tried everything to make me have a miscarriage, from poisoning me to pushing me down the stairs. Eventually he gave up; he must have decided that covering up about the baby after it was born was safer than a potentially dead wife. And now, I'm glad that he did."
Jeni now had a very strong suspicion that something far stranger than she had ever expected was about to happen. This was confirmed when Scarlet held out her hand, palm facing Jeni, and waited, watching her with an unreadable expression. Jeni hesitated, then reached out like she assumed she was meant to. When their hands were still three inches apart, a silver bolt shot between them like static electricity, pulling them both forward and locking their hands together. Jeni gasped as she felt a sudden pain in her heart. Tears began to trickle down her face as she threw herself into the arms of the woman she now knew was her mother.
Scarlet held her daughter tightly for the first time in her life, her face also wet with tears. "When you were born," she continued, feeling the need to finish the story, "you were given to your father straight away, with the instructions that he was to come up with a plausible reason for your existence or you would both be dead. I truly believed I'd never see you again. Thankfully, after that I found that I did have a reason to live; raising my son. I was determined that he would grow up the right way, and Draco too, since he doesn't have the most loving of relationships with his parents."
"But…I don't understand. Why didn't they…"
"'Get rid of you'?" Scarlet suggested. She nudged Jeni's chin up. "Pure-blooded babies are precious things," she said. "And with the amount of inbreeding that goes on, the fact that neither of your parents are English made you very special indeed."
Jeni thought about everything she'd just heard for a moment. "Dad told me you were dead," she said shortly. "He said you were a muggle and that you were killed by Deatheaters just after I was born."
"I'm not surprised," Scarlet replied. "I'm sure he was just trying to make sure you'd never try to find me; he knows how dangerous it was…how dangerous it is." She pulled away to look Jeni in the eye. "Jeni, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone about this. No one can know. Especially given who your father is and what he's done. He's also gone more than out of his way to make an enemy of Lucius. If it weren't for his fortune Jonathan would definitely have gotten him in Azkaban by now."
Jeni thought for a moment. "What about Draco?"
"Draco already knows. I asked him to watch over you this year - with the upcoming plans for Christmas Eve it's likely that your father and his team will get involved again and I wanted to be sure you'd be safe. But I'm afraid I may have put you in danger by getting Draco to bring you here. It's just that I wanted to meet you so much…"
"Draco said I'd be safe," Jeni reassured her, "it's alright."
Scarlet smiled. "I don't doubt it," she said. "You'd better go, they'll be missing you."
Jeni got up reluctantly, wondering how many hours they'd been talking, and said goodbye to her new-found mother. Upstairs, she was surprised to hear Henri's door slam and see Emily stalking off in the opposite direction to her. However, whatever had happened, she thought Henri would need his space for the moment, and resolved to check on him later.
She knocked briefly on Draco's door before entering. He wasn't in the room, so she went over to the window and stepped out onto the balcony. Below, the other guests were still doing exactly as they had been that morning, the little croquet hoops running around on the grass to try and evade the players. Jeni could see a few people in the distance who looked like they were playing Quidditch. It seemed so strange to her that the world could carry on just like before when her whole life had changed. That silver spark – her finger was bruised where it had entered, indicating the sheer power of their meeting after so long. The feeling in her chest was still there, but she'd now figured out that it was more of a 'complete' feeling than anything foreboding.
An odd sensation in her leg made her look down to see Draco's leopard rubbing his head against her. She knelt quickly and hugged him as tightly as she dared, unsure of how delicate snow leopards were. Jeni felt him shift under her hands and suddenly he was hugging her back, equally fiercely. She felt the tears she'd cried before spill out again, all the built-up pain for the mother she'd never known. She knew why he hadn't told her; obviously he couldn't have - she'd never have believed him.
Some time later, Jeni's tummy rumbled. They were still sitting together on the floor of the balcony. Her tears had long run dry, but she remained clinging to the boy she loved. Outside, the guests had been forced inside when the rain had started, and it was pouring, as though the clouds were crying in her place. Eventually, Draco pulled Jeni to her feet and led her back inside, to her room. Neither had spoken the whole time, and felt no need to start now. Leaving Jeni in a seat by the fire, Draco opened the cupboard of food and got her something to eat, since she'd missed lunch. He then had to sit and nearly force-feed her, since despite her stomach's loud protests, Jeni was not hungry. In fact, she wasn't feeling much of anything. She was thinking very hard about all the implications of her mother's confession. Plus, she now not only had a mother, but a brother, too.
"Does Blaise know?" Jeni asked, the first words she'd spoken since leaving the library.
"If he doesn't, he will soon," Draco replied. "Scarlet will tell him, and he can be trusted. He's like my brother, after all."
"I've never seen you around with him much."
Draco smiled. "If you had a brother at school, would you hang around with him?"
"Well, who knows? ... I wonder what dad will say."
"Are you sure you should tell him?"
"I know she said not to tell anyone, but he's my father, and they were in love. Maybe they still are. I never noticed him go out with anyone else…"
"That's sweet."
"Yeah, I suppose. It's sad that they'll never be together."
"Sometimes that's just the way things turn out."
Jeni bit her lip. "Draco, do you think we'll be like that? That we'll never see each other again after you finish school?"
"No, I don't," he replied determinedly. "After all, your father can't object given who he fell in love with, and I don't really care what my parents think."
"I think they care though."
Draco smirked. "Hopefully they won't be around long enough to care."
Jeni didn't respond. Normally, she would object to wishing parents dead, but under the circumstances…her mind suddenly turned back to what had happened before.
"Do you know what happened between Henri and Emily earlier? I saw her storm out of his room."
"No, I don't. Did you want to go and see him?"
"Perhaps I should. I wonder what it could be…" Jeni stood and went to the door, walking out almost dazedly; in need of a distraction from her own mixed up feelings. Draco let her go.
Across the hall, Jeni was knocking on Henri's door without much luck. After a while, she gave up and opened it, surprised to discover it wasn't locked. Inside, Henri was sitting on a couch facing the fire, looking forlorn. She wandered over and sat next to him. He glanced at her and smiled bemusedly.
"You don't look in much of a state to be offering comfort," he said, referring to her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
Jeni's tummy attempted to complain again. "You don't have one of those snack cupboards in here do you?" she asked.
Henri pointed.
"I may not be in the best state to offer comfort," she said, getting up to help herself, "but I'm in the perfect state to be distracted, so go ahead. Do you want anything?"
Henri shook his head. "I told Emily something that I probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't not have, now that I'm sure…well, at least reasonably sure… and I think she's taken it as a personal insult."
"Um, alright," Jeni said, returning to his side with a muesli bar. She was sure Henri would explain in his own time, after all.
"Jeni, I want to tell you, but you can't tell Draco, alright?"
"If you say so. Besides, I'm currently open for secret trading," she said with a smile.
"Oh really?"
"Yes. But you first."
"Well, given how much effort you and Draco put into getting Emily and I together, it almost seems like this is throwing it back in your faces."
"If you change your mind, you change your mind," Jeni said comfortingly, remembering the bruise she'd sustained from the stunt.
"The thing is, that before all that, I thought that I liked her. I mean, it was nice when we were going out and everything, but I think now that maybe I just liked being with someone, and…I'm not..."
Henri was watching Jeni closely for any reaction that might prove disagreeable. Jeni was just waiting for him to get on with it.
"Jeni, I'm now …quite certain that…I don't like girls." Jeni frowned. "In that way," Henri continued.
"…oh," Jeni said shortly. "Really?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's good then, I suppose," Jeni said.
"It is?" Henri replied, slightly shocked at how cheerfully she was taking it.
"It's good that you know."
"Ah, yes."
She laughed. "I guess Emily must have thought that she'd turned you. But…why can't I tell Draco?"
"Well, Draco's a little…homophobic. I'm not sure how he'd react."
"I see. I suppose that makes sense, given his upbringing. He has issues enough with the whole blood-purity thing."
"Exactly. So you understand…?"
"Yes, of course. I'm sure you'll tell him when you're ready…what about your parents?"
"I already told mum. But my dad…well, he's not exactly so open. And being that I'm his only son, I think he was really looking forward to having grandchildren. He wouldn't take it too well at all."
"Oh dear."
"So you can see this goes beyond Emily's reaction. I'm not worried that she'll tell everyone or anything, but…it seems a bit indicative of everyone else. Anyway, this is supposed to be a trade, isn't it? What's your big news?"
"Oh. Well, the thing is…and I'll keep this short…you know that letter that I got this morning?"
"Yes…"
"Well, it was from Scarlet Zabini, and she asked me to meet her because she had to tell me something very important." Jeni paused, but Henri didn't interrupt. "Which was that she's my mother," she continued, wanting to get it over with quickly.
"Oh my God! That's great news!" Henri cried, hugging her, then backing off a little. "It is, isn't it?"
Jeni laughed. "Yes, it is," she reassured him. "It's just all so sudden." She went on to fill Henri in on the particulars. "But you must keep it a secret – I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."
"Of course I will. As long as you do the same for me, that is!" They both grinned.
Several hours later they were forced to stop talking to get ready for dinner. For Jeni this meant another dress, pink this time, another hairstyle, pair of shoes, and a different magically appearing drawer of jewellery. The note this time read: These are a loan, love Draco. Jeni had by now figured out that the jewels she'd worn the night before had been a gift from her mother, as the handwriting on both notes matched.
Draco was, once more and as expected, dressed to match her. They went out and down to dinner, collecting Henri on the way, but not a sight of Emily. Jeni was starting to think that she should try to talk to the girl, despite their past…differences. Perhaps it should be left for a while. And after all, she wasn't sure if Henri wanted to stay friends with Emily or not. Eventually she decided against any attempt at intervention. As it was, she and Draco had probably caused enough problems already.
The evening proceeded much like the last. Jeni snuck glances down the table to where Blaise was seated with the other Slytherins and wondered if she would ever be accepted by them. It was certainly a strange thought – not one that had occurred to her before. But now that she knew who she was, or more correctly, who her mother was, she couldn't help but wonder if she was really where she belonged. Was Ravenclaw really a middle point between Gryffindor and Slytherin? Most children ended up in the house of their parents, or of one of their parents. She, however, had not. And whilst she'd previously felt that she belonged more in Ravenclaw than anywhere else, now she wasn't quite so sure.
However, what worried Jeni the most was whether Blaise would accept her as his younger sister when he found out. After all, he'd been an only child his whole life. Jeni could do no more than thank the stars that she wasn't his older half-brother instead. That would create real tensions.
Jeni sighed, poking the food on her plate with her fork, and earning a disapproving glance from Draco. What she really felt like eating, for no apparent reason, was cake. Probably because she felt confused, and sweet food could be so comforting. Draco placed his hand reassuringly on her leg under the table. That helped some.
When the meal was over, Lucius Malfoy announced that they could move to the adjacent hall for dancing, making Jeni nervous once more, as her skills would be tested again.
Everything started off alright; she had the first few songs with Draco. However, they were then approached by Blaise. Oh gods, thought Jeni, please don't make me dance with someone else...
"May I?" Blaise asked Draco.
"Of course," Draco replied, smiling in his all knowing way, and going off to find another partner.
Jeni gulped. Blaise was terribly tall, and had a very imposing presence. He offered his hand without a word and she took it, feeling a little like a cornered mouse.
They began a waltz, and Jeni tried to look at him and not look at him at the same time. The dancing was easy enough – Blaise was a very good leader – but all the same she felt highly uncomfortable.
"My mother shared some interesting news with me today," Blaise began, "and I must say it took me entirely by surprise." Jeni looked up at him worriedly. "Not bad surprised, don't look so scared. But you must admit that we look nothing alike." This was certainly something she'd noticed. Blaise took entirely after his father, so much so that it seemed a little strange. And she herself probably looked more like her father than her mother, meaning that for half-siblings they couldn't have looked more different.
"That's true," Jeni responded. "I had a hard time believing it myself, but then…" she was reluctant to share what had happened with someone she barely knew, relative or not.
"Mum told me what happened, I think she was as shocked as you." The music ended, and Blaise lead her over to some chairs along the wall so they could continue talking. He sighed. "Obviously I was too young to remember anything from then – that or they played with my mind a little," he remarked ruefully.
Jeni's eyes widened.
"It's more than likely. If I had any memory of her being pregnant, then I'd be sure to ask about it when I was older. But I suppose I have you and your father to thank for her having been such a good mother to me. I think if she hadn't seen him again she probably would have killed herself – my father's not the best husband he could be."
Jeni touched Blaise's arm lightly. "Our parents have a big influence on our lives. Your father probably didn't have someone like your…like our mum to look after him."
"Luckily she's there for Draco too – and you of course."
"Me?" Jeni asked.
"Well, sure. I guess you don't realise it, but Draco's changed so much since the start of this year, since mum convinced him to start watching you. At first he was a little reluctant, but he came around pretty fast, once he'd seen you and all. He's never been so happy before. In fact, I don't think he's ever really had a steady relationship. After all, in the past he could always get any girl he wanted, but I guess it was different with you."
"For a time," Jeni said with a smile.
"For a time, yes, but I've never seen a girl resist him for so long. Admittedly, you're not really the type he usually went for, but that's also an improvement in my eyes."
"Why am I so different?" Jeni asked, feeling a little insulted.
"Well…correct me if I'm wrong, but you're pure." Jeni blushed, realising immediately what he was referring to. "You're not like Emily or Pansy. You don't throw yourself at any good looking guy who comes along with no plans of having an actual relationship with him. Draco got a bit caught up with that type of girl. It's hard not to when you're a teenaged Slytherin. It fits in with our values - trusting no one; taking what you want, when you want it; and generally only with thought to that moment. Relationships are dangerous, you're too exposed to the other person, they could find out your weaknesses and use them against you."
"What about you?" Jeni asked, wondering if all girls had these kinds of conversations with their brothers.
"I was like that too. The teenaged part is very important to the whole thing I suppose, all those hormones. So there you go. That's why you're special."
Jeni thought about this for a moment.
"And so I suppose that's why Draco's attracted to you," Blaise continued. "You provide him with an escape. He knows he can trust you. And I do too."
"Have you found your 'escape'?"
Blaise looked towards the girl who was making her way over to them with Draco. "Sometimes, you just need to find someone else who has also decided they've had enough." He stood up and took Pansy's hand, and they made their way over to where the others were dancing.
"Have a good talk?"
"Yes," Jeni replied, getting up. "I just feel so…happy," she said. "I mean, my family's now twice as big. And I feel so much better now for having talked to Blaise. I was worried about it all, I didn't know how he felt or how he'd react. But everything seems to be going well. It's such a relief."
"I'm glad. Now, come on!" Draco said, pulling her to her feet. "I've hardly been able to dance with you all night!"
During the remainder of the evening, Jeni was only 'borrowed' from Draco once more, by Theodore Nott, who also seemed to believe Jeni had 'changed Draco for the better'. "It's you that he relies on to find the strength he needs for what he's about to do." Theodore had told her. Jeni was starting to think that the Slytherins were a much tighter group than she'd previously believed.
It was quite late by the time they left, although many of the adults looked like they had no intention of stopping their festivities any time soon. Jeni was so exhausted from the day's excitement that she took herself straight off to bed.
Jeni slept late the next morning, then got herself breakfast from the cupboard. Once she was dressed, she knocked on Draco's door. Luckily this morning, he answered it himself.
"Good morning!" Jeni chirped.
"You're going to have to get changed," Draco told her. "I thought we could go for a ride."
Jeni suddenly noticed what he was wearing – riding pants tucked into high black boots and a loose shirt, slightly unbuttoned. He was holding his cloak.
"But," Jeni objected, taken by surprise and completely ignoring the fact that Draco hadn't even bid her good morning, "I don't think I have any appropriate clothes!"
"You're not very curious, are you?"
"Well…I…"
"In fact, I would think you haven't even gone through all the drawers in your dressing room!"
"Oh…but…"
Draco turned her around and pushed her back into the room. "Go on," he said. "I'll wait in here for you."
Jeni sighed and went over to the wardrobe. It took a few minute of rummaging through drawers she that she was quite sure hadn't been there before until she found what she thought Draco was referring to; clothes markedly similar to his own, but a little more fitted and feminine. She grabbed her own cloak and headed out, finding Draco on the balcony.
He held up his broom. "Let's go," he said, giving her a moment to get on behind him. He steered them over the railing and then they were plummeting downwards. Jeni was determined not to scream, but she couldn't help emitting a slight "Eep!" as Draco pulled up just short of the ground, which was covered in fresh snow from the night before. They headed on over to the buildings Jeni had noticed in the distance, and set down there. Entering one, the walked down a corridor along one side until they reached a particular stall.
"This," Draco said, introducing the strangely coloured occupant, "is Nightwish, my horse."
"He's beautiful," Jeni breathed, as the horse moved towards them and Draco reached out his hand to stroke him. Nightwish was pure black – but his mane and tail were white, along with the star on his head. Jeni had never seen a horse like him.
"And along here," Draco continued, leading her further on past several more horses, "is Snowflake. Any time you're here, she's yours."
Jeni's jaw dropped. The mare was gorgeous, a brilliant white just like the snow outside, even in the shade. "Wow," was all she could manage to say.
Draco smirked, and clicked his fingers. A couple of house elves appeared in each of the two stalls, holding out their tiny hands to levitate saddles and bridles. Jeni was almost bouncing with excitement, which Draco seemed to find highly amusing.
Soon enough they were leading the horses outside. Jeni happily found that she didn't need any help mounting.
"Have you ridden before?" Draco asked her.
"Yes, a few times," Jeni replied. When she looked over she was temporarily stunned by how handsome and natural he looked on horse. His hair was waving gently in the breeze and he just looked so…noble, she decided.
Glancing around at her surroundings, wondering where they would go, Jeni turned back to discover that Draco had taken off by himself. She smirked and tightened her grip, urging Snowflake on after him, her cloak flying out behind her. They caught up easily and overtook the others, aiming for the lake Jeni could see in the distance.
All too soon Jeni felt they might just end up underwater – she pulled up hard on the reigns and Snowflake reared up, trying to stop quickly, so that Jeni had to lunge forward and grab hold of her mane to keep from sliding off. Nightwish skidded to a halt in front of them, sending up clouds of white.
On the lake, which wasn't too close, Jeni could see a small group of boats that seemed to be racing each other, urged on by the wands of the wizards spread along the edge of the water. She couldn't help but wonder at the anachronistic nature of the activities aristocratic purebloods indulged in. All of a sudden, one boat burst into flames, sinking quickly. Another almost instantly exploded.
Draco chuckled. "That's Slytherin revenge for you; swift and deadly. Always expect consequences."
Jeni smiled. Whilst the message was a little scary, the current display was very amusing, as the two men began to argue over the boats.
"Let's go," Draco said, turning his horse quickly to shoot back the way they'd come. Jeni and Snowflake followed, but were unable to overtake. They followed a seemingly random path, not back in towards the stables, but further away from the manor. Soon they were far out of sight of any of the other guests, the snow pristine and unbroken, and quickly approaching some trees.
The horses slowed as they neared the woods, right down to walking pace, and began to pick their way through the trees and over the roots.
"There's nothing to worry about," Draco commented as they went, "Father keeps all the dangerous animals on the other side of the property."
"Good to know," Jeni said, suddenly much more worried than she had been before.
After a short time, they reached a small clearing. Draco dismounted and Jeni followed suit.
"Right then," Draco said. "It's time for the fun part."
"What fun part?" Jeni asked as Draco produced a long strip of black material from his pocket. He tied it over her eyes, and then led her further into the woods, guiding her over roots and stones. She felt a strange change in the air, and then finally, they stopped.
"This fun part," Draco finally replied, removing the blindfold.
Jeni gasped as her sight suddenly returned. Laid out before her were a huge picnic rug and basket, and a large pile of floor-cushions. The darkness of the canopy was alleviated by tiny hovering lights in the branches, and the small space was surrounded by flowers. Jeni realised that the change she'd felt was them entering a bubble of some sort, where it was warm inside. She turned and threw her arms around Draco, hugging him tightly. He led her over to the blanket and sat them both down comfortably, taking her cloak, and then began to unpack the basket.
Jeni just grew more amazed as it went on. There were grapes and mango cubes and strawberries, a pot of dipping chocolate and little cupcakes with coloured icing and sugar-flowers on top.
"Are we really going to eat all of this?" Jeni asked.
"Depends how hungry you are, kitten." Draco picked up a grape and held it to her lips.
"My god!" Jeni exclaimed a moment later. "They're so sweet!"
Draco smiled, popping one into his own mouth. "And these," he said, picking up a strawberry and dipping it into the chocolate, "are my favourite." He held it once more for her to eat, then laughed.
"What?" Jeni asked, once she'd swallowed.
"You have a bit of chocolate on you mouth," Draco told her, leaning forward to lick it off before taking the opportunity to kiss her.
"Mmm…" Draco said as the kiss ended. "You taste like strawberries." Jeni blushed. "This was definitely a good idea."
Jeni decided to be bold for once in a while, and feed Draco a strawberry herself. Somehow in the process she managed to get chocolate on her fingers – Draco took it upon himself to clean each one with his tongue, without breaking eye-contact, making Jeni blush harder. His pupils were dilated slightly due to the low light, and the predatory way he was looking at her made a shiver go through her, similar to when they'd only just started going out. In fact, Draco seemed to be rapidly forgetting that there was any food there at all, in favour of other thoughts.
Finally Jeni managed to drag her eyes away. Whatever it was that Draco was thinking, and she had some suspicions after her conversation with Blaise, she didn't think she was ready at all. Determinedly she forced her attention on the mango, picking up a fork to find out if it was as delicious as the other fruits. Inevitably it was, and Draco, seeming to sense the mood, joined in her enthusiasm.
Hours later they lay together, most of the food eaten, snuggled up against each other. Jeni could still taste the sweet spun sugar of the cupcakes and was craving another strawberry, but couldn't bring herself to move.
Luckily, wandless magic has its advantages, and soon the exact thing she desired was drifting lazily over to her.
"Thanks Draco," Jeni said to the boy who looked to be dozing, plucking the strawberry from the air.
"Huh?" Draco said, stirring.
"You did just levitate that to me, didn't you?" Jeni sat up.
"Levitate what?"
"This," she said, holding up the berry.
"No, I didn't."
"But…if you didn't do it…then…"
"Maybe you did it yourself," Draco suggested. "I guess it depends how badly you wanted one."
"I wonder if I could do it again," Jeni said, thinking aloud.
She closed her eyes and thought as hard as she could about strawberries. How they were red and round and sweet and had cute little seeds on the outside and they were soft and juicy and good with chocolate…
"Kitten, open your eyes," Draco said a moment later.
She did so, only to discover that several berries were now orbiting her head. "Oh," she said, releasing the thought and making them all drop to the ground. Draco managed to catch most of them, eating a couple. The rest Jeni quickly collected and put back in the bowl.
"Well, that was…" she searched for the right word, "…unexpected."
"Indeed it was," Draco agreed amusedly.
Jeni flopped back on the cushions. "I suppose we probably need to be going back soon."
"Perhaps. But maybe not."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm sleepy and you're warm," he answered, putting an arm over her and pulling her close.
And that, thought Jeni, was a perfectly good reason to stay lying there for a while longer.
It was some time before the necessity of returning to the manor to prepare for dinner became a reality. Reluctantly they got up, Draco saying that they could leave everything there, and donned their cloaks once more to venture back out into the cold. The horses were still waiting patiently, and they rode swiftly back to the stables, then flew back up to their rooms.
Jeni decided she wanted to have a chocolate and vanilla bath, and try out some more taps to find cool fish-alternatives. Then, once again, although it wasn't getting boring in the least, she went into her dressing room to find that evening's outfit. Not much later, she was done. The dress was a lovely soft gold, with citrine jewellery. Her hair hung straight down her back with small braids holding some back from her face. She went out to meet Draco and go down to dinner.
Whilst she still saw the attraction in dressing up, Jeni was starting to get tired of the dinners. Although this time they were seated with the other teenagers, since Jeni was beginning to be accepted, the length and ceremony of the meals was trying.
This time, dinner was followed by a play – a thoroughly pretentious and sleep-inducing one, Jeni thought, declaring the benefits of 'purity of blood' and 'obeying one's lord'. Or at least, it was something like that, as she found herself frequently tuning out. But it was clear what Lucius's motives had been in commissioning the thing.
And so it was that the day ended and Jeni took herself off to bed, entirely exhausted and fighting sleep the whole way. However, despite her tiredness, worry and nerves about the following day – Christmas Eve, and thus the ball and the dance – kept her awake long into the night.
And so we finally reach the end of chapter 22! This has taken me almost two weeks to write…because I'm lazy. :P
Now, that bit about The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's an old black and white movie where there's this young man, Dorian, and he has a portrait done of himself. Someone mentions to him how wonderfully young he looks, and how great it would be if one could stay young forever, and so he wishes that the portrait could age instead of him. Gradually it comes true, and becomes hideous as it reflects all the terrible things he has done in his life, so he hides it away. Some more stuff happens…and there's an ending, which I found a little amusing, actually. Don't want to spoil it though.
Singing in the Rain, for anyone who doesn't know, is about the introduction of talking movies…Casablanca I haven't seen…but it's also an old movie so…yeah.
Um…I don't think there are any other things I need to explain. But there is something I'd like to clarify so that no one goes getting any ideas, and that is that when Draco and Henri wake up, it's meant to hint only that Draco is homophobic, not that Henri is gay, and definitely not that he likes Draco, because he doesn't, I'll say that right now.
Please review!!!