The Seed - Chapter 2 - Infidelity, Life & Death

Universal Pictures owns all rights of Pitch Perfect…I only own the idea of this alternate universe love story.

A/N: In this tale Jesse does not attend Barden. He and Beca will eventually meet but on much different circumstances. This AU story starts off during Freshman year, the evening of the ICCA semi-finals and will be told through Beca's POV. With two fandoms being represented, this fic will span a period of about ten years.

M rated for language and mature scenes. Kleenex alert! This one may tug at your heart.

This is my entry to the Valentine's Day challenge. Inspired by Heart's 1990 song titled "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You".

Three years post graduation...

Los Angeles, CA - 2018

Relocated and settled in L.A., Luke and I were the proud owners of Stroma & Mitchell Productions (aka SMP) which was formed in 2016 and already successful in producing some of today's alternative, electronic and pop media and music. Becoming well known in the music industry we'd uprooted ourselves from a modest two bedroom condo rental to our very first home purchase in the Hollywood Hills overlooking downtown L.A.. With an infinity pool and entertainers backyard, it was the perfect place to put down some roots and live the life of luxury. With everything falling into place we had accomplished what so few young couples are able to in such a short amount of time.

But something was missing...

On our third anniversary I brought up the possibility of starting a family. I surprised my husband because while we were dating, I was adamant about not wanting kids, but something deep inside me was now longing to become a mother. Luke didn't share my enthusiasm and was actually dead set against the idea. He enjoyed our freedom of no kids and no pets as we attended and hosted parties throughout the year with our fairweather friends. Without telling him I'd stopped taking my birth control pills I had decided to let nature take its course but, after more than a year later I was still not pregnant.

I'd been to see my OBGYN who referred me to fertility specialists where I was poked and prodded, scanned and screened for just about everything. The results were conclusive in confirming that the problem wasn't with me and now Luke was being asked to come in for tests. Bringing up the topic wasn't going to be easy because I'd never told him I had stopped taking the pill. After a nice lazy Sunday, I'd decided to prepare his favorite meal of roasted beef and potatoes with giblet gravy and Yorkshire pudding with apple crumble and custard for dessert.

"Mmm...this is delicious." Practically purring he continued to devour the feast before him. "If my mother was still alive she would have loved you and your cooking."

Taking in small bites of beef, I slowly worked up the confidence to bring up the whole starting a family issue.

"I stopped taking the pill." There...I said it and went right for the jugular. Catching Luke off guard, he looked as though he'd been sucker punched.

"Beca...what are you doing? I thought we already talked about this." Putting his fork down, he brought his napkin to his face, rose to his feet and placed his cloth onto his plate. Grabbing his wine glass he noisily scraped his chair backwards across the tiled floor and stepped away from the table.

"Dude! You're just going to walk away from me?"

"There's nothing more to discuss." He said, leaving the room. "Thank you for dinner."

Getting up from the table the napkin on my lap fell to the floor. Storming after my spouse, it was now or never that he heard me out.

"No! I'm not done discussing it! I've been off the pill for over a year now and have been seen by every fucking specialist to find out why I can't get pregnant." I paused to take a deep breath then continued my rant. "You know what I found out?"

"Let me guess."

"It's not me."

"What are you implying Becky? That there's something wrong with me?" Using my name incorrectly, he knows it gets a rise out of me, but I needed to keep my cool.

"I don't know...maybe it's a mixture of both of us. Perhaps we could look into IVF. I've got some brochures, it's-"

"-Do you have any idea how expensive that is? Are you purposefully trying to give me the hump?"

"We're in a higher tax bracket! We can afford it." Trying to convince him, I reached for his hand. "C'mon babe, let's look into it."

"No! I already told you that I don't want any kids! In college you were dead set against it. Why now?" Practically yelling, he pulled away from me. "I thought we were on the same page."

"I have no idea why I've changed my mind. Maybe it's my biological clock or my maternal instincts kicking in or...fuck it! I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life and I want to celebrate our love with a little person. All I know is that I really want to be a mother...I want a baby."

"My baby or will any one do?"

"That's not fair! You're my husband whom I love very much, but right now I really want to throttle you. Why can't you see how important this is to me?" With tears threatening, I looked away. "I want us to be a family. I want to give our children the childhood I was deprived of. Is that too much to ask for?"

"I need to get out of here before I do or say something stupid."

"Just give me one reason why you don't want to be a father."

Throwing his wine flute across the room I was startled when glass shattered everywhere, splattering our cream colored walls and furnishings in bright red Merlot. "GOD DAMN IT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU...I DON'T WANT KIDS!" He was full of fury as he stepped towards me, making me take a defensive step back. "Beca, if you don't stop this nonsense…" He balled up his fist and hit the side of his leg to stop his words from spilling out. "I need to leave!"

"Don't bother. You've been drinking...I'll go." With tears running down my face I left the room to retrieve my raincoat and purse, then grabbed my keys and umbrella off the wall hooks. Just as I was about to leave, my arm was grabbed. "Let. Me. Go!" I demanded through gritted teeth and yanked my arm from his grip.

"Don't go out...the weather is horrible out there." He said in a much softer tone. "You're upset and shouldn't leave like this."

"Go fuck yourself!" I blurted out, and slammed the door leading to the garage.

Getting situated in my SUV, I pressed the remote to open the garage door. It was pouring outside; raining cats, dogs and every other animal in existence. Starting my utility vehicle, I carefully backed out of the garage and shut the door. The roads were slick with poor visibility as we were high up in the hills and well into the stormy cloud cover. Heading down the street my tears continued to flood my eyes as I drove aimlessly around the city with no plan or destination in mind. With lightning flashing and violent thunder following, visibility had really gotten worse with the rapidly deteriorating weather conditions. Unsure of what I was doing, I decided to phone a friend.

"Call Chloe on cell." I announced to my vehicle's built in hands-free bluetooth system, and within seconds her phone was ringing through my SUV's speakers.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me." (sniff) "Sorry it's so late."

"It's okay...Beca what's wrong?"

"We had a fight...I just walked out on Luke."

"Why? What happened?"

"He doesn't want to have any kids with me."

"What? Where are you? Is that thunder I'm hearing?"

"Yeah...it's pretty stormy over here. I'm driving."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I just needed to get out of there before things got really ugly."

"All right...um. Do you have your credit cards on you?"

"Yes."

"Good...I want you to get to the airport and take the next flight over here."

"That's not possible. It's already past eleven...no more flights are departing tonight."

"Okay then get yourself to a hotel, spend the night and take a flight in the morning. You can stay with us as long as you need to." With a baby crying in the background Chloe had to tend to her daughter. "Hold on...Carly is throwing a hissy fit."

Stopping at a red light, hail stones had begun to pound my vehicle.

What is this? Fucking armageddon?

Looking off to the side I could see a man in a suit holding a briefcase over his head to shield himself from the falling ice. With a blinding flash followed by a clap of thunder my car shook as the drenched man ran for shelter under a bus stop. Was this guy nuts? With no coat, no umbrella and out in the middle of nowhere, there had to be a good reason for him being out in the elements. Still on hold, I looked further down the street and saw a car along the side with its hazard lights on. He broke down...no wonder he was out here. He looked harmless enough...perhaps I should try to help him. Was I nuts too? For all I knew he could have been a murderer or even a rapist.

"Hey Becs...I'm really sorry but my baby is sick. Go find a hotel and call me in the morning."

"Yeah. Sure. Okay." I responded slowly, distracted by the poor guy being pummeled by the storm.

"You sound weirder than usual. Are you okay?"

"Yeah...I'm good. Go take care of my goddaughter. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye."

It was a rainy night, when he came into sight. Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat. So I pulled up along the side, and offered him a ride. He accepted with a smile, so we drove for a while. I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain. Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight...Heart 1990.

Ending my call I was still stopped at the red light, mesmerized by the man on the side of the road and decided to pull over. He didn't notice my vehicle right away so I parked along the curb, grabbed my umbrella and exited my Landrover.

"Hey...need a ride?" I yelled out just as another bolt of lightning flashed and thunder struck. He didn't acknowledge me so I went up to him. "Dude...I'm trying to help you. Do you need a lift?"

Turning around to face me I noticed he was probably in his late twenties and just under six feet tall. For whatever reason, my heart nearly skipped a beat when I saw his face. He was stunningly handsome with the most beautiful heart shaped lips I'd ever seen.

"Yeah...my fucking rental broke down and I can't get the agency on the phone or AAA out here for another few hours. The storm's caused widespread flooding so all tow trucks are already dispatched." He explained still holding his briefcase over his head. "I'm visiting from out of state and staying at the Marriott on West Century. Would you mind taking me there?"

"No...not at all." I responded moving my umbrella over him. "C'mon you're drenched. Let's get you out of those clothes...I mean, out of here." Quickly correcting myself. What was I thinking? "Um...I'm parked over there." I said pointing in the direction of my SUV.

Approaching my Landrover I pressed the remote and unlocked the doors. Sitting inside I lowered my head and bit my lip thinking about my earlier slip of the tongue.

"You know...if you wanted me out of my clothes all you had to do was ask." He teased, making me blush even more. He collected himself for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry...that was inappropriate of me. I just feel really comfortable with you. You look really familiar. Have we met before?"

Starting the engine I looked to my right and saw him smiling at me. "So...what kind of idiot travels without a raincoat or umbrella?" Amused by my snarkiness, he shook his head.

"Touche whatever your name is. I guess I deserved that." He said laughing. "So what's your deal? Are you one of those girls who's all dark and mysterious, and when she takes off her glasses and that amazingly scary ear spike, you realize she was beautiful the whole time?"

"I don't wear glasses." I responded quickly, as I negotiated a left turn.

"Then you're half way there."

Ignoring his last comment I decided to make small talk. "So, what brings you to rainy L.A.?"

"Business...but I may move here some day." He said looking me over. "What brings you out on such a cold rainy night?"

"Um...I'd rather not talk about it." Immediately my eyes stung at the memory of my fight with Luke, wiping a stray tear I turned away.

"Are you okay?" He asked with genuine concern.

"No...not really." I don't know why but I felt immediately comfortable enough to tell this stranger what was going on with me. "I fought with my significant other earlier and then sort of walked out on him." Removing my wedding set, I tucked the jewelry into my coat's inside pocket.

"Is that why you're out in this God forsaken weather?" Wiping more tears away, he reached for my hand sending electricity through my veins. "Hey...I know we just met but if there's anything I can do for you, please let me know."

"Thank you...I appreciate that."

"The hotel is just up ahead on the right."

"I see it." And pulled into valet, stopping my vehicle behind a long line of parked cars.

"Can I interest you in a cocktail?"

Waiting for the attendant to write up a ticket I stared straight ahead and shook my head.

"Would you like to come up for a while and talk?"

Thinking about his offer I slowly nodded. "Yeah, I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Me neither." He said softly squeezing my hand.

With the parking attendant holding the door open for me I considered my actions, took a deep breath and exited my vehicle. My new friend took my hand and guided us into the hotel lobby where I headed for the restroom to freshen up while he checked in with the front desk. Inspecting my reflection in the mirror, I attempted to repair my smudged mascara and eyeliner so I didn't look as haggard from all the crying I'd been doing that night. Exiting the bathroom I found him in the lobby waiting for me. He looked different in the light as I noticed his chocolate colored wavy hair and warmest brown eyes. There was something about his masculinity that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. He intrigued me.

"Ready to go on up?" I nodded and let him escort me into the elevator where we stood in silence, ascending to the higher levels until we stopped on his floor. Stepping out, he placed his hand on the small of my back and guided us down the long hall.

"It's right here." He said, stopping to insert a card into the slot. When the light flashed green he turned the handle and pushed the door open. Letting me enter first, he turned on a small light and stashed his briefcase on the floor next to the desk. Motioning towards him I noticed he was shivering as a result of his soaked apparel.

"You seriously need to get out of these clothes." I suggested, helping him out of his suit jacket as our eyes locked and suddenly I wasn't able to focus on anything but the stranger before me. Trying to shake myself out of it I continued to loosen his tie, unbuttoned his dress shirt and ran the pads of my fingers along his well defined pecs. "You'll get sick if you stay in these." I whispered as he raised my chin and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes closed as he deepened the kiss with his tongue requesting permission to enter.

Having only kissed one other person since college I can honestly say this guy had one incredibly talented mouth, and for whatever reason I gravitated towards it and him. With a single thought coming to mind wondering if I allowed myself to have sex with him, could I end up pregnant? Carrying another man's child while married to another, it seemed so wrong but why did it feel so right? If Luke was hiding something, like being incapable of fathering his own and In Vitro Fertilization was not going to be an option, then perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea. This man was stunning with striking features and an athletic build, he obviously had decent genes and appeared, despite his poor choice of rental car companies to be successful with gentleman mannerisms from good upbringing. With all other doubts disappearing, as he caressed my lips with his, the only thought I had was that I wanted this man to make love to me. To hopefully give me something I couldn't get from my own spouse. Almost obsessed with the prospect of this happening, I initiated things by wrapping my arms around his neck and granting his tongue access to tango with my own.

Pulling away we were breathless and had begun to strip each other of our clothes. Unbuckling his belt I undid his pants, zipped down his fly, reached under his briefs and took hold of his massive erection in my hand.

"Jesus!" He gasped at my forwardness, pushed me against a wall and kissed me passionately. "Tell me what you want." He murmured against my lips.

"You." I breathed. "I want this inside of me."

Without another word, I was stripped down to my underwear and lowered onto the bed. Crawling between my legs he was careful not to put too much weight on me and aligned his body with my own. Molding his lips to mine, his hands wandered all over teasing my erogenous zones in the most delicious manner. His lips sought my neck and found my pulse point and sent my arousal to a whole new level. With skillful hands he reached under me and efficiently unclasped my bra, freeing my breasts in a single attempt. His fingers teased me, rolling and tweaking my nubs then guiding a hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and nibbling with just the right amount of pressure, alternating back and forth as I clutched on to his head and moaned in sheer ecstasy.

Moving further down my body I was licked and kissed as he focused on my sex. Moving the thin material of my Valentines Day present from my husband to the side he dipped a finger inside and sighed at the moisture pooling. Removing my panties entirely, he settled between my thighs and attached his mouth to my center. Yelping out at the sensation I nearly convulsed at the suction his talented mouth had created. Inserting his tongue into my opening I almost lost it as he tongue fucked me, bringing me to a crashing climax within minutes. Lapping up my release, my partner didn't give me time to recover, instead he guided himself to my orifice and pushed inside with one swift motion, causing me to suck in my breath at the sudden fullness.

"You okay?" He asked softly. I nodded and matched his quickening pace as he pile drove into me. "You feel so good. God, I needed this." He whispered, covering my lips in a sensual kiss.

It didn't take long before I was coming apart at the seams; my fingernails clawing at the skin on his back, as he chased his own orgasm, ejaculating deep inside my core, filling me with his warm seed.

Our intense lovemaking lasted all night long. We fucked like strangers not knowing each others' names that we were, just enjoying the closeness of two needy adults and appreciating a moment neither of us would ever forget. As soon as he succumbed to sleep I laid on my stomach watching his beautiful face, enjoying the memory of the night. Like the thunderbolt akin to the night's bad weather that brought us together, the tremor of guilt started in my heart and flooded my system as I came to realize how easily I had betrayed my husband, fulfilling my own desire and desperation while completely disregarding his own wishes. I used the opportunity while my lover slept off his exertions to draft him a short letter explaining my need and pleaded for him to not go looking for me. Leaving the note on the bed where I once laid I quietly got dressed, grabbed my things and left.

We made magic that night for he did everything right. He brought the woman out of me, so many times...easily, and in the morning when he woke, all I left him was a note. I told him I am the flower and you are the seed. We walked into the garden and planted a tree. Please don't try to find me, please don't you dare. Just live in my memory, you'll always be there. Heart...1990.

Later that morning after driving around the city for a while, I went home, took a long hot shower and retreated to one of our guest rooms laying awake with the guilt knowing I'd broken my wedding vows and cheated on the only man I'd ever loved.

How could I ever face him?

"Are you awake?" Luke asked in a soft voice, as he gently tapped on the bedroom door, but I didn't dare to answer him; the bile rising in my throat. "Can we talk?"

"What's there to talk about? You don't want to start a family with me." I finally replied with tears starting up again. I felt guilty as hell, but he also had a part to play in all of this. "How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Honey...that's not true. I've been lying to you." He confessed, coming into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I can't have any."

"What?" This revelation stunned me to no end.

"As a child I was treated for testicular cancer. The radiation and chemo I received...it made me...sterile."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, breaking down as I realized I had made assumptions and gotten everything wrong.

"I wanted to but when you said kids weren't something you wanted, I thought it wasn't important anymore...until now."

"You should have told me anyway. I'm your goddamn wife!" Crying harder I turned my back to him. "For a year I thought there was something wrong with me!"

"I know darling and I'm truly sorry. I was wrong and should have said something. Please let me make it up to you."

"How?"

"I don't know, maybe we'll see a specialist and pick out a suitable sperm donor. If you want a baby so bad, we'll make it happen." With tears flooding his eyes he continued. "I was so afraid you wouldn't come back to me, it made me realize I was wrong for withholding this information from you. I'm sorry love...will you please forgive me?"

With Luke finally coming clean with his secret, I decided I couldn't tell him mine just yet and would have to live with the guilt of what I had done.

A couple of months later...

I found myself pregnant with the seed of a stranger from that cold rainy night. I couldn't be more pleased knowing I was going to become a mother but also knew when Luke found out what I had done, it would be the death of him especially as he'd been back and forth to doctor's appointments for a few weeks suffering with pains in his belly. With bouts of morning sickness hitting me at the most inopportune times, I could no longer hide the fact that I was expecting.

That night we put everything out there, no more secrets and no more lies. We yelled at each other and shed more tears, and then we held one another and made passionate love all night. With the knowledge of all that had happened we vowed to face the uncertain future together no matter what transpired. We mourned not only for my infidelity, but for Luke because his cancer had returned with a vengeance, and to add salt to his wound I had to tell him that his wife was carrying another man's child. To my surprise, he was more relieved than hurt knowing I wouldn't be alone when the fucking disease took its toll on him when he inevitably passed on. We decided to put this behind us and looked towards the future, looking after each other as both of our bodies changed for different reasons.

Several months later…

I was in labor about to give birth; Luke having lost a ton of weight had been so ill throughout my pregnancy, had been supportive and loving every step of the way. Sporting a pair of blue scrubs he was helped to my side to welcome our baby into the world. After hours of agonizing pushing I was a hot sweaty mess but finally got to meet the little person who had been growing inside and kicking me for all those months. Luke was just as ecstatic and kissed me lovingly as our wailing son was brought over to us and placed into my arms. Opening my gown our son was laid out on my bosom and began to nurse almost immediately creating a bond so strong that couldn't be pried away with dynamite. I knew in that moment I could never love anything so much as this new life entirely dependent on me. With tears of joy we both watched his first feeding with utter amazement.

"He's so beautiful Becs." My husband praised, placing a kiss to my lips. "I wish he were mine."

"He is yours." Smiling at my comment a tear escaped his eye. "He's our son."

"You know what I mean." Luke paused. "I wish I could have been the one to make you pregnant." Wiping his eyes, he continued. "Instead, my lies drove you into the arms of another man. I just hope someday you'll learn to forgive me."

"I think we need to forgive each other." I finally said becoming more drained, watching our son get sleepy during his feeding. "Do we have an agreement?" Giving me a warm smile Luke shut his tired eyes and nodded slowly.

When our baby was no longer sucking he was taken away by a neonatal nurse for identification and assessment.

It hadn't been a minute and I already missed him.

"Mrs. Stroma...you need to rest. After we conduct a few tests he'll be returned to you. Do you have a name picked out?" She asked.

"Um...Yes. It's Mitchell Frederick Stroma."

The health provider smiled, entered the name into their data system and placed our baby in an incubator as he was wheeled out. Looking over at Luke, he appeared to be so exhausted after spending hours of enduring the painful labor with me.

"Babe...go home and get some sleep." I said softly, running my hand along his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere." Smiling warmly he nodded slowly.

"I love you Beca. I always have and always will." He gushed with tears running down his cheeks. Bringing my hand to his lips he kissed it and closed his eyes. "I'll always love you."

Moved by his outpour of affection, tears began to flood my eyes. "I love you too baby. I'll see you soon."

The following day...

I slept well for a few hours and woke with a smile as I pulled the bassinet that had been placed by the side of my bed towards me. I finally felt complete and was looking forward to going home to look after both of my boys. Cradling my son, I heard a knock at the door, expecting to see Luke, I sat up with an orbit worthy smile on my face. When the door opened, Chloe and my mother stepped inside.

"Oh, my God! You're both here!" I was excited for the company but then noticed their solemn expressions. "What's wrong?"

"Chloe. Please take the baby." My mom instructed and sat down in a chair next to my bed. Taking my IV free hand she told me news no wife should ever have to hear.

"Mom...why are you even here? We haven't seen each other since the wedding. What's happened?" I asked again as a dark sense of dread began to wash over me. "Where's my husband?"

I could see Chloe turning away, placing a small kiss on the top of Mitchell's beanie covered head, holding him tighter as the deafening sound of silence filled the room.

"Mom?" I asked again with a shaky voice and watched my mother gulp down words she had stuck in her throat.

"Sweetie...I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but Luke...(pause)...Luke passed away last night. He never woke up this morning when Chloe went to get him." She finally let out, clearly trying to hold back her emotions while squeezing my hand.

"No. That can't be true. He was with me yesterday. Where is he?" Crying out I tried to rip the IV from my hand and break out of bed. My mother reached for my hands and pulled me into her arms. "He's gone baby...I'm so sorry."

I fought against her embrace as the words began to sink in, and as the image formed in my mind, I fell into her arms but still didn't understand what was happening. My mother had to be wrong; she never liked Luke or this had to be someone's idea of a sick joke. I raised my eyes towards Chloe as I felt my cheeks start to burn as the air started to become thin. My best friend couldn't bring herself to look at me but when I saw the wetness on her cheeks, that was all the confirmation I needed as I returned my gaze to my mother.

"NO! HE CAN'T BE GONE! HE CAN'T LEAVE US! NOOOO!" Shouting and sobbing at the reality that I'd lost my one true love, with the shock being too great I could no longer breathe and was in fact suffocating.

"Chloe...get the nurse! She's going into shock. Rebeca, listen to me. You have to calm down. Concentrate on my voice and stay with me." My mother urged on, willing me to focus on her as multiple alarms started to sound off. I could feel myself drifting, falling into a dark hole that was full of shadows and loud screams; I just didn't realize the screams were coming from me.

Putting my son into his incubator, Chloe darted out of the room as I grabbed at my throat; it dawned on me that the man I'd been married to since college was gone. I would never see his beautiful blue eyes again, he would never annoy me with his early morning peppiness and I would never feel his strong arms around me, protecting me from the world. Chloe soon returned with a medical team who immediately flattened my bed, wrapped an oxygen mask around my face and added a sedative to my IV line. Within seconds my surroundings went completely dark, and for the first time in my life, I was grateful for the pull of sleep; anything to stop the ache in my heart.

A few hours later…

Waking up, I found Chloe sitting in the chair next to me holding my son, softly singing her favorite song to him.

"Don't you dare sing your lady jam to my child." She jumped at the sound of my groggy voice.

"You're awake." She observed, reaching for my hand. "How are you?"

"Considering I've just been widowed," I paused. "Great."

"I'm so sorry Beca. I hope you don't mind that I called your mom. I didn't know what else to do." She said tearing up while rocking my little man. "She dropped everything and took the first flight out."

"It's okay...I'm actually glad you did that. I don't know anything about being a mother and all of a sudden I'm a single parent. Luke never told me just how sick he'd gotten; he must have kept it from me so I wouldn't worry while carrying my son...our son." I corrected myself immediately. With tears streaming down my face the pain was still too fresh. "Chloe...I don't know if I can do this alone. Luke was supposed to be there for us, but now he's gone."

"Beca...you'll never be alone. You have so much love in your heart. My dearest friend, you will love again."

"I don't know about that. My heart is broken. Luke was it for me, he was the love of my life." Acknowledging me with a nod Chloe tried her best to divert my attention.

"Your baby is so beautiful...and so good. He doesn't cry at all." She rambled on, rocking him back and forth. "Here...you should take him. It's been a while since his last feeding so he's probably hungry."

"Thanks" I said softly, cradling him in my arms. Opening my gown he immediately sought out a teat and latched on. Closing my eyes momentarily my respiration slowed as he nursed. "I can't tell you how much I love this little guy."

"You're going to be such an awesome mommy. Look at you...you're a natural." She beamed.

"Thank you. I'm just going to let my instincts do their thing."

I looked down at the tiny person I was suddenly solely responsible for and suppressed the anger I held towards Luke and his decision to not to stay with us. I knew the grief would attack me later but for now I had to concentrate on the warm little boy nestled into the crook of my arm, his little face being the complete carbon copy of his father; who ever that may be.

To be continued...