Lux et Veritas

Chapter 5: Genesis

Author: Knowhere

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: The idea, concept, and other miscellaneous belong to me.

AN: I'm having so much fun with this story. It's light with substance. Fluff with underlying strength.

Summary: Very AU. A more relaxed college freshman Rory meets a more confident adult Jess for the first time. Different backgrounds, attitudes, and behaviors for the both of them. Literati.

Sleep. It's sticky; like those cinnamon buns that Dad used to get on Sunday mornings. My eyes are heavy and deep with relaxation and yet something is urging me to wake.

It's excitement from last night. And I suddenly remember the events that transpired before I dropped dead in exhaustion upon this bed. I can feel a lazy smile creep across my face and I'm glad that I'm alone in this room, because this feeling is just not normal. For me. I've read about it plenty of times and I've seen it in countless lame teen movies, but I've never quite experienced it for myself. Longing. Caring. Giddiness.

My head flops back onto the pillow as I think about how much of a sap I've become. I'm practically an after school special on PBS. However, as my eyes are closed, I think about her. About last night. I remember starting the walk from her house to the diner hand in hand. And I also recall her snuggling up to my side as she let go of my hand, but then replaced the absence with her arm snug around my waist. I remember thinking that the new positioning of her arm was much better than before. I had dropped a kiss on the crown of her head and she had sighed in response.

She kept a casual conversation during our walk. But nothing of consequence. She talked about her love for books, caffeine, and for breakfast foods. I replied with telling her that I loved music, pasta, and vintage muscle cars. I barely paid attention to her words because I was so engrossed with the feeling of her pressed up against my side as we walked slowly down a dimly lit street. But I heard every word. And as I lie here on the bed, I can remember where she paused in her sentences, where she embellished, and every flux of intonation in her voice. All of this happened while we walked very closely, with her swinging a plastic bag that contained the ice cream at her side.

We had arrived back to the diner and eaten dessert soon after, but then my parents had said that they were tired from the trip and that they should head back to the inn. They went back first and I remember the two of us standing awkwardly at the door, not knowing if it would raise any alert flags if I decided to stay instead of following my parents. We were like a pair of nervous children. So instead, she offered me a cup of coffee and I had accepted. I stayed. Luke went into the back to do the dishes and Lorelai claimed that she was going to help but obviously didn't we heard Luke complain that she was getting water all over the floor. We sat on the bar stools, drinking coffee from huge oversized mugs that might as well have been bowls.

Fifteen minutes later she yelled to her mom that she was going to show me the way to the inn and I was a true gentleman as I opened the door of my car for her. It would have been romantic had she not saw right through it. She laughed and I had asked why.

"It's just, I never pegged you for a guy who would open car doors for a girl."

"Why not?"

But she kept on giggling. "You just don't seem the type."

"Huh."

"I don't mean it in a bad way." She leaned back towards the car.

And I leaned into her. My arm was resting by her shoulder on the car, and I leaned in closer. Full body. "Okay."

I kissed her. Soft and sweet at first with all the intentions of being gentle, but then her arms came up to my waist and the kissed progressed into a new hunger and I felt her gently flick her tongue up against the front of my teeth. I smiled and opened up. I vaguely remember thinking that I was kissing this girl passionately with her pushed up against my car. Open for anyone to see if they wanted. But I didn't care. And clearly, neither did she.

I lazily ended the kiss and she made a little noise of protest which I found to be one of the sexist things I had ever heard. "I'll have you know, that I can be romantic if I wanted to be."

She smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I smiled back at her.

"Well, that's good to know." She tilted her head up again for another kiss. I didn't mind.

That time, it was her who pulled away and I felt myself leaning in further to try to prevent her from leaving. But she just looked me in the eyes with a shaky release of her breath and said, "Maybe I shouldn't come to the inn with you."

"Why?" I wondered if I had done something wrong by mistake.

She smiled secretly and shy at the same time. "It's just I don't think I'll want to leave once we get to your empty hotel room."

"Is that a bad thing?"

But she hadn't replied. She just blushed and bit her lip. She whispered goodnight and I watched her walk away.

And now I lay in my room replaying the way that kiss felt last night. I lay in the proverbial afterglow and ironically, it was not even sex induced.

A light knocking makes me lift my head at the noise and I want to curse the person who would wake me from my day dreaming. I just jump out of bed clad only in my boxers and I swing open the door ready with a sarcastic remark.

"Morning." There she is. Right in front of me at eight o'clock in the morning, armed with a to-go cup of coffee and a white paper bag.

I'm amused, and my smile reflects it. "Hey. Kinda early, huh? Never thought you would be a morning person."

She's standing still, not moving into my room. "I'm actually not. I just couldn't sleep."

I want to press and ask why she isn't still in bed. I want to know if the reason is me. Did I keep her up last night? Was she thinking of me? But I don't voice my questions. "You want to come in?"

"Yeah, sure." She's smiling broadly.

Now that she's fully in the room with the door locked behind us, I'm suddenly very aware that I'm only wearing my boxers. "Um, make yourself comfortable, I'll just change really quick."

Her cheeks are flaming red, but her words are cool and collected as she speaks. "Okay."

As I'm walking to the bathroom, I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my back. A whirlwind of emotions flood over me. Amusement. Flattery. Cockiness.

Inside the abrasive lighting of the bathroom, I slip on an old tee-shirt and a causal pair of jeans. I splash some cold water on my face, and grab the complimentary toothbrush and dab on some mint toothpaste. As I finish, I give myself a quick glance up at the mirror and conclude that I look satisfactory. I wish I had time to shave, but it isn't so bad yet.

I exit the room to find her sitting on my rumpled bed, drinking her coffee and absentmindedly flipping through the tv channels. Noticing me walk out of the bathroom, she mutes the tv. "Hey."

"Hey." I can feel myself genuinely smiling at this girl.

"I hope you don't mind me dropping by so early."

"It's okay." I can make the exception even if it isn't.

She looks down at the paper bag. "I brought breakfast."

I walk over to sit next to her, and she swings her legs up to sit Indian style facing me on the bed. I open the bag to examine the contents. Two doughnuts, both original glazed. "Thanks." I grab one and start to munch.

She does the same. We're not talking at all. We're just sitting on my bed, eating our breakfast in companionable silence. It's nice. Without even thinking, I gently take her cup of coffee out of her hand, and take a sip.

She's looking at me like she's horrified. And I'm suddenly regretting my decision very much. I don't know what to say except, "Sorry."

It's like she can't even formulate a reply. She just stares.

I hand it back to her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking."

She looks down at the cup of coffee in her hand. "You never take a Gilmore's coffee."

My eyes dart from her face to the cup, but I stay silent.

"It's like breaking the cardinal rule. Rule number one. You're lucky you're hot, because I would have bitten off your hand right then in order to get my coffee back."

I can't help but smirk. "I'm hot?" I barely heard any of her rambling about rules.

And suddenly, her demeanor changes and the coffee is forgotten. Her gaze falls to her lap and she bites her lower lip. "Maybe." Pause.

"You're adorable." I whisper. And I lean forward to kiss her. Softly. I revel in her childish confession.

When we pull back there's a full blown smile lighting up her face, and I'm amused. "Jess?"

"Hum?" I can hardly concentrate.

"Tell me something."

"What?"

Her gaze is dreamy. Far off. "Anything."

I wet my lips with a quick swipe of my tongue. Moisture. Suddenly my mouth is very dry. The situation is almost too thick for me to break through. I need air. I need lightness in our conversation. "You run funny."

I've snapped her out of her reverie. "What?" Her look is bemused.

"You run weird."

"When have you ever seen me run?"

"Once. I was looking outside of my office window. It has a view of the walkway up to the building. I saw you." I smile. "I suppose you were late to class. You started to run."

Her cheeks are on fire. She's embarrassed. She's tucked her head in between her knees and has practically curled up into a ball. "Oh my god."

My eyes widen. She's like a kid.

"I'm not the most graceful person." Her reply is muffled. She still hasn't lifted her head. "I'm mortified that you saw me."

A couple of stray hairs have fallen across her downward face and I gently reach over to smooth them back behind her ear.

That got her attention. She peeks back up at me and uncurls. Slowly. "When I asked you to tell me something, I thought you would say something about you. Not me." She's pouting, oh so slightly.

I smile, but my face is serious. "My lips are tingling."

"Mine too." She's biting the lower one right now. "Must be the chapstick."

"Must be." I chuckle. "You should buy it in bulk." I chuckle.

"I own stock in the company." Ridiculous answer. But we're apparently quite skilled in having odd conversations filled with nonsense.

The ringing of my cell phone jolts us out of the moment. I'm glad for the intrusion. She's pulled back to look at me grab at the phone on the night stand. I don't even look at the caller id. I just flip it open. "Mariano."

"What a lovely way to answer the phone. Ever heard of hello?"

"Nah. Too conventional."

"Anyways, sorry to barge in your vacation, but I have a question."

"Shoot." I spy Rory tilting a head at my conversation, but not making any gestures.

"What the hell is wrong with your dog?" Yikes.

"Nothing." Confusion stabs at me. Continuously. "What's going on?"

"He won't eat. I fed him like you said, but he just stares at it. At first, I thought he wasn't hungry but it's been at least a day and a half. He just lies there on his bed and doesn't move much." I can hear her panic through the phone. "Tell me I haven't been slowly killing your canine."

I chuckle. "No, you haven't." Typical Adso behavior. "He does this a lot when I'm away." Last time when I left him the kennel could barely get him to eat, or to even move out of his cage.

Her sigh is explosive. "Thank god. What do I do then?"

"Feed him pizza crust." Damn spoiled dog. "Or those dog bones on the upper shelf. Just give him anything so he'll eat."

"Alright. But I've warned you now. I'm guilt free about this dog and his eating habits. I wash my hands of this situation." Drama queen.

"Sure thing, Pontius Pilate."

"Okay. Enjoy the vacation."

"Yeah I will. And thanks for taking care of him, Alice."

"You owe me." And that's her way of saying goodbye.

I fold the phone back up and she's sitting there looking throughly amused by the one-sided conversation that she just heard. But at the same time, she seems a bit unsettled.

"Sorry about that." What else do I say for the interruption?

"S'okay. Sounds like an important conversation." I can't tell if she's joking or not.

"It's my dog. He won't eat."

She's lifting an eyebrow. "And he called to tell you that?"

Sarcastic girl. "Funny." I shoot her a look. "It was my friend. I left him with her and she was warning me that she won't be responsible if my dog is dead by the time I get back home."

"Girlfriend?" She just throws the word out there like it was nothing. Like it wasn't the most loaded question she's asked today.

"Friend." I clarify. But not too much. I like watching her squirm.

She plays with the hem of her tee-shirt. "Oh."

"Are we having that conversation now?"

She looks up. "What conversation?"

"The one where we clearly state our dating status." I reply flippantly.

"Yup."

I turn to look at her. "Okay. You go first."

"Hey." She's scrunching her face. "That's not fair."

"What's fair?" I grin. "I asked first."

"Fine." She dramatically sucks in a breath. "Single."

"Ditto."

"Good." She looks relieved. "So, we're both single." Her eyes dart around. "Unattached."

I echo her sentiments. "It would appear so." It amuses me to no end how she can be so nervous over the littlest things.

She's looking down at her wrist to check the time. "Oh!"

"What?"

"I've forgotten that I'm meeting Mom this morning."

"You guys having breakfast?"

"Nah, we're going shopping."

"You're leaving to go shop?" I know I sound disappointed. Sometimes, I can barely understand women.

She's laughing at my saddened tone. "It's not like I'm leaving on purpose. But we do this every year. It's the After Thanksgiving sale." She's gesturing a bit with her hands and she's trying to make me feel better.

I hate that I've been caught by her at my embarrassment. "Oh. Okay."

She gives me a small giggle. "Funny boy."

I take a peek of her underneath the shadow of half closed eyelids. I don't know how to respond to her statement.

"Anyways, I'll be back later. But much later. Like not until night. It'll be hard to tear Mom away from the stores any earlier than that." She's picking up her now empty cup of coffee and the bag that held the doughnuts.

I get off the bed too and stand with her. "Alright."

She's stopped her movements. "But I will see you tonight, won't I?"

That makes me feel better to hear her say that. "Sure." I offer her a real smile.

"Okay."

I bend down to give her a quick kiss. Odd how that seemed so natural to do. "Bye."

She gives me a little wave as she disappears down the hall. I wonder if she's worried that people are going to see her come out of my room? I'm not even sure myself if I want to announce to the public that we're seeing each other. Not just yet.

---

I can see through the window that Dad is sitting by himself at the corner table. I nod at him in greeting. "Hey."

"Hey."

I pull out the chair across from him. "Where's Mom?"

"She went shopping with Lorelai and her daughter." He tells me with his mouth half full of scrambled eggs.

"Ah."

Luke appears from the back and stands in front of our table. "You want anything?"

"Coffee. Waffles. And eggs. Sunny side up, please."

I see him scribble something down on his pad. "Coming right up." And he's gone.

"Thanks." I catch Dad giving me a weird look. But I ignore it. "How did you sleep last night?"

And he's looking at me odd again. "How did I sleep?" He says it in a different tone. A mocking one.

"Um, yeah." I'm confused.

He narrows his eyes at me. "What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean? Nothing." I put on a neutral face.

"Something's up with you." He's put down his fork and has given me his full attention. He's scanning my face.

I swallow. I don't have a clue as to what's coming.

"Why are you all goofy?" I almost laugh out loud at him saying goofy.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I scowl for him just for good measure.

"Your eyes are all...bright. And you're happy. Even under that fake scowl you're trying to give me." He's unrelenting.

Damn my Dad for being able to read my mood. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seriously. You look all carefree. Almost like you're..." He trails off and his eyes widen. He's suddenly leaning forward in a dramatic whisper. "Jess Warren Mariano, tell me you are not high. Tell me you didn't smoke something before you came here."

I roll my eyes. "No I am not high. Jeez."

"Well, it seems like it." He shrugs his shoulders. "If it's not drugs then what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Damn. Can't a guy just have a good day?"

"Alright, sorry." It seems like he's going to give up on the conversation.

Luke has dropped off my plate in a hurry to get to another customer and I dig in. I'm suddenly very hungry. As I'm eating, flashes of my morning with Rory run through my brain and I'm in my own world. I'm living in my fresh memories. I bite my lip in order to keep from breaking out in a grin. I lean back in my chair to look out the window and as I raise my cup to my lips, I see that Dad has once again given up eating to examine me like a lab rat.

"So, what's her name?" He's extremely cocky.

There's no use in even denying it. "None of your business."

"Oh, boy." He's teasing me. "You must really like her if you're going to get all defensive." Why is he so cheerful?

"Shut up."

"Come on, you know you want to tell me about her." He's using that sing-song voice. The one people usually use on their pets.

"No, I don't." I can't help but chuckle.

"At least you're moving on past Princess Bubble Gum."

I sigh to show him that I'm exasperated. "Her name was Susan, and she worked in the advertising division for Wrigley's Gum."

"Whatever." It's like Dad's the kid and I'm the adult. "I couldn't believe that you moped for so long after she left you."

"I did not mope." I'm getting defensive.

"You didn't leave your apartment for two weeks."

I fumble for an excuse. "It was snowing. You couldn't go anywhere."

"Bull." And that's the extent of the digging he's going to do on my past relationship. "At least tell me the girl's name."

"It's complicated." I've given up hiding the fact that there's a girl.

Dad lifts his eyebrow.

"It's new. So please let's just drop it, okay?"

"Fine." He's disappointed he can't know more. "Let me tell you one thing though." Dad's attempt at advice. "When it's new, women like romance. Not so mushy that you want to strangle yourself, but nice stuff. Like flowers and fancy restaurants. But don't forget that after the excitement of a new relationship, it better be based on a friendship or else you've got nothing. Make sure Jess." He's dead serious as he finishes his statement.

I nod. He's suffocating me with the truth. "I'll be back." I need to get some air.

The diner door slams behind me and I walk over to a bench and sit down. I've suddenly realized the situation around me. How can I be with Rory when I've had such a bad record with relationships? Especially with this one, where there are limitations. Restrictions that last only until the end of the semester, but I would still get in trouble if people find out later in retrospect. Not only are the rules circling the back of my mind, but also my hesitation of being responsible to someone. At times, it's hard enough to take care of Adso, but to add on another person who would get hurt at my expense is too much for me. I like being able to come and go as I please, to do my own thing at my own timing. I like being by myself. But I like being with her. My nerves are getting the best of me. I light the cigarette I had in my pocket. The smoke fills my lungs with some sense of relief. I'm very nervous about this whole thing. I stretch out my legs in front of me and I exhale.

AN: Thoughts? Tell me your favorite part from this chapter. Or tell me your favorite part from all the chapters. Tell me both to make me really happy.