Lux et Veritas

by knowhere

Literati. Rory, a college freshman, meets a confident adult Jess for the first time. What happens when the circumstances are changed? AU

13. Thought

Lux et Veritas

Chapter 13: Thought

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: The idea, concept, and other miscellaneous belong to me.

AN: Enjoy!

Thanks to my lovely editor for late night/early morning chats and for letting me talk about my characters as if they were real.

Summary: Very AU. A more relaxed college freshman Rory meets a more confident adult Jess for the first time. Different backgrounds, attitudes, and behaviors for the both of them. Literati.

---

"Have you given any more thought to that company I told you about?"

"No I haven't."

"Jess, you graduate soon."

Rolling my eyes, "Really? It all just slipped my mind." I push the lettuce around on my plate. "It just doesn't seem like the right move for me, Dad."

"I thought you'd like it," with his mouth full, "I was talking to a guy I met at this party the other day and he was telling me all about the magazine business."

"I just don't want to work in the magazine area. It doesn't seem serious enough. I don't want my life's work measure all up to something that people skim through on their way out of a supermarket."

"It's not like I'm telling you to work for a tabloid." He makes a face. "What if I told you it was Newsweek or Wall Street Journal?"

"But it's not. I don't want to be stuck editing or putting together a small magazine that no one reads."

"Well, then what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Something. I want it to be more concrete. I don't need to write the next great American novel, but I want to know that when whatever I do is printed, you can always look back at it and say, 'hey remember this?'"

"Okay, you're just running out of time."

"So what if I graduate and don't get a job right away? I'll just find out later."

"Jess," he's frustrated, "You can't just waffle around your entire life."

I scoff. "Yeah, look who's talking."

"Even though I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was your age, I eventually figured it out." He points his fork in my direction.

"Yeah, and so will I."

"I just don't want to see you waste time like I did."
I shrug. "Maybe it's just something everyone has to do." I turn my head to cough. "Can we change the subject now?"

"Yeah, yeah. How was your birthday the other day? Get pissed drunk at the thought of all your wasted years?"

I roll my eyes. He just has to rub it in. "No, not this year."

"I remember your twenty-first birthday. Where was it that you passed out?"

I take a bite of my salad. "Bathtub."

Dad snickers. "So, what did you do this year? Besides have lunch with your old man the day before."

"Rory and I went out to dinner." And then went back to my apartment where she practically pounced on me. I turn my head to hide my smile thinking about how we didn't initially make it into the bedroom. We got as far as to my small kitchen table where I discovered that it's a lot stronger than it looks. Well, we did eventually make it back to my bed, though we made other detours after the one on the kitchen table. We got distracted on the couch and the hallway before finally collapsing onto the bed.

With a raised eyebrow, "Oh?" He drags out the word. "Speaking of which, how is that girlfriend of yours?"

"She's fine." I reach for my water glass and take a gulp. My throat's getting itchy.

"Hey I forgot to ask last time, how was Christmas with her family?"

"Great. Just peachy. We had dinner, watched a couple of movies, then I was threatened by both my uncle and her father that if I hurt her they'll flay me with a dull knife."

He chuckles. "Then you better not hurt her."

"She's not the only one involved." I mutter under my breath.

"You're right." Dad suddenly gets serious. "How are you dealing with all of it?"

I spear some grilled chicken with my fork. "All of what?"

"I may be a little oblivious sometimes, but I'm not so stupid as to not remember that you were dumped by your last girlfriend."

"I wasn't dumped." I make a face.

"She left without saying anything, Jess. I'd call that dumped." He swallows.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Stop being obtuse. This thing with Rory is getting serious pretty quickly. It's only the end of February." He takes a bite of his pasta. "When did you meet her?"

"September." I cough to try to clear my throat.

"Your last girlfriend was quite pretty. From what I can remember from that one time I saw her. Totally opposite from Rory. Blonde, leggy, though a bit of an airhead. But Rory's very pretty as well." He looks over at me.

I counter. "She wasn't that dull. And I'm not just dating Rory because she looks nice."

"She certainly wasn't as clever as Rory. Now that you've been burned, you decide to go for the opposite?" He leaves the question hanging for the moment. "I'm sure you have things in common with Rory, but you're not so selfless as to date someone who was a dog."

"I don't purposely date Rory because she's different. And I would still like her if she wasn't attractive." I'm steadfast on that fact.

"You might still like her, but I doubt you would have noticed her."

"Listen, I don't really want to talk about this right now."

"You never want to talk about your girlfriends."

"Well then you should learn by now not to ask."

---

"How was lunch with your Dad?" She follows me through the threshold holding Adso's leash.

"Fine." I drop the mail on the counter.

Pulling off her scarf she turns, "Really?"

I look at her from across the kitchen. "Yeah, why?"

"You just seem a little off."

I brush off the observation. "Just tired." I lean down to unhook Adso's leash from his collar and he scampers off to the bedroom.

"So I'm writing a new article for the school paper." She talks to me from the couch. "It's about all the recent political demonstrations on campus. But I turned it in and they tell me to rewrite it 'cause it's too bland. Can you believe it? Me, bland."

I look through my mail, distracted, "Yeah."

"What?" She turns and glances over at me over the top of the couch.

"Huh?"

Making a face, she sulks, "Never mind."

Defeated, I realize I must have said something wrong. "I'm sorry." I walk over to the couch and crawl in besides her. She lies down with a tentative smile on her face and I position myself half laying on her.

Her arm comes up to push my shoulder away. "What's up with you?" She hooks her other arm around my back. "You were in a good mood this morning."

I bend my elbows and nuzzle her neck. "That's 'cause you stayed last night." I kiss the tender skin behind her ear. "You never want to stay here."

"It's not that I don't want to." She giggles. "It's because I never get anything done when I'm here."

"Goody Two Shoes. It was just a school night." I've effectively steered her away from the topic of my somber mood caused by my conversation with Dad. "Last night was not my fault." I kiss her shoulder covered by a sweater. "You brought it up."

"I asked you for help on my homework. You were the one who told me to come to you with questions."

I pull back to look at her face. "Yeah, and you came and asked for help with your anatomy homework."

"You passed that class with an A, so I thought you would know." She playfully smiles and wets her lips. "You were the one who gave me the demonstration."

"Well, as long as we're studying the subject." I leave the rest hanging. "Do you need more help?" I smirk.

She uses her arms to bring my head down for a kiss and I rest my weight on her. Her hands wander down my back and under my shirt.

I shrink away. "Your hands are cold."

"Sorry." But she's not as she continues to run her hands across the skin of my back.

I sit up on my ankles and just watch her for a moment. Her hands are thrown up onto the arm of the couch and she crosses them under herself to cradle her head and just peers up at me under half-closed lids to smile. I bring my hands up slowly from my grip on her knees to bend them and pull her legs so that her hips come into contact with mine. Instead of wrapping her legs around my waist, she just keeps her knees bent and rests her feet flat against her couch. I lean forward to settle palms on either side of her chest to hover over her. Her fingers play with the hem of my shirt. I brush some hair off of her forehead. "You going back to your dorm tonight?"

"You have a better offer?" She's teasing me.

I roll on my side to lie down next to her and I quickly grab the bottom of her shirt to draw the material off of her. She's wearing a tank top underneath and a strap slides off her shoulder. Kissing the newly bare skin, I run my free hand across her stomach. She's suddenly impatient and kisses me harder. I can feel her feet coming up to curl around the backs of my knees and wandering hands come to undo the buttons and fly of my jeans. I stop what I'm doing just to watch her. Her eyes are concentrated on my jeans and her hair is mussed up, pink lips parted in determination. With my pants undone, she looks over at me. I raise an eyebrow, "What?"

"Why did you stop?"

"I didn't. I was just watching you for a second."

Her eyes dart around. "Quit it. You're making me nervous."

"You're always nervous." I tuck an errant strand behind her ear.

"Well, you're not helping."

I chuckle, but turn my head to cough. Facing her again I lie down against the couch, bringing her down as well, mostly on top of me. With our sudden conversation, my desire has momentarily ebbed.

From halfway on top of me, she scratches her head and combs through her hair with busy fingers. Propping her chin on my belly, she bites her lip. "Aren't you gonna…" She pauses. "Are we…stopping?"

The boldness of the intended question behind her shy words makes me smile. I pull her up and kiss her again, working into passion once more. The unexpected touch of her tongue against the tip of mine shocks me and I push up into her lower body. I grip her waist and move down to her hips. I tuck my fingers under the edge of her jeans and find the soft cotton of her underwear. She moves against me in response and I unbutton her pants, opening the fly to push them over her hips. I don't get very far because the material of her jeans catches with mine, unable to move further. However, I don't pay much attention and shift the position of my hands from her hips to under her tank top. I unhook her bra from underneath and her arms wrap tighter around my shoulders as I pull away from our kiss. She sits up on my lap and removes her tank top and bra to throw them absentmindedly over the back of the couch. I sit up as well and cup the outer swell of her breast, and she leans backwards, away from me at the touch. I encircle her waist with my free arm and kiss the indentation of her shoulder. The vibration of her phone against the coffee table brings us out of the heated moment and I drop against the arm of the couch with a loud sigh.

Before I can tell her not to answer it, she's grabbed it and flung it open. Irritated, she asks, "What?" Her eyes soften. "Sorry, yeah. Hi, Mark. Yes." She climbs off my legs.

I widen my eyes only to shut them again tightly to take my attention from the ache in my body. I see her sitting topless on the edge of my couch and her hand reaches behind to rub my leg in comfort. I'm feeling dizzy all of the sudden and I wonder if it's from our broken moment. I cough and she turns to pay attention to me while continuing her conversation.

"Yeah, I did my half of the assignment. No, that part was supposed to be Rachel's. No, that's not the right way to do it. Just read the instructions." She looks over at me in concern as I cough again. "We already met last week and worked out all the problems. Why hasn't it been done? It's due tomorrow in class."

Shaking my head, I go to redo the button of my jeans and she watches out of the corner of her eye. I get up from the couch and walk across the room to the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water, I down half of it. Feeling my forehead with the back of my hand, I can't tell whether or not I'm actually hot. Opening several kitchen drawers, I'm trying to remember where I put the thermometer.

"Right now? The library? No, it's closed. I know the student union is open. Do we really need to go over everything again?"

I walk past her without a glance and turn on the bedroom light. Adso picks up his head from the bed and jumps off to follow me from my room and into the adjoining bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and spy the thermometer on the top shelf. I slide off the cover and push the button and I wait for the beep and the screen to clear. I put it under my tongue and examine my reflection in the mirror. Adso huffs since I'm not paying attention to him and sits down on the tile floor, looking up at me. My eyes are red and they're puffy but I had chalked that up to a lack of sleep. Reaching over to grab some toilet paper, I sneeze. Adso shakes his head and jingles his tags. The thermometer beeps and I take it out to read 101.8. Staring at it for a moment, a voice breaks my reverie.

"You're sick!" She accuses me.

I roll my eyes. "It's just a fever." I cough.

"And a cough." She comes up behind me to push me back into the bedroom. "Get in bed now and sleep."

I mutter under my breath. "You're bossy."

"Where do you keep the medicine?"

Lifting the corner of the bedspread, I climb in. "Cabinet."

She pads back into the room and sits on the edge to hand me a couple of pills and a bottle of water. Putting her hand on my forehead, her face scrunches up. "Poor Baby."

"I'm fine." I bring the covers up under my chin.
"No you're not." She straightens the blankets and glances over at the clock.

Remembering her previous conversation, "You don't have to stay. Go and meet your group to finish the project."

Her eyes are worried. "But I don't want to leave you like this."

I smile but close my eyes. "I'll be okay. I have been sick before."

"But…"

"Don't worry." I roll on my side to face her.

She looks down at me for another moment and pops up and out of the room. I didn't think it'd be that easy to get rid of her, but I roll over as I feel Adso climb on the bed and lay his head on my stomach. I reach my arm out of the covers to rest on his back, his tail occasionally flicking my forearm gently. "Okay," she reappears at my side. "I've got another bottle of water and a box of juice. Here's the bottle of Tylenol, Kleenex, and the phone in case you need something else."

I smile at her concern. "Thanks."

"Call me if something comes up."

Turning on my side again, I hear her leaving my apartment closing the door with a gentle click.

---

Adso is nudging my arm, and I'm struggling to open my eyes in the dim lighting. He barks. "What's wrong?" He jumps off the bed and I hear him scratching the front door with his paws. Heaving my body up from the bed I slowly follow him and hear the sound of a faint knocking. I open the door to find her wide eyed. "Hey."

She looks guilty as soon as her eyes rest on mine. "I wasn't sure if I should come back. I didn't want to wake you up or anything, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry."

Her flurry of words makes my head throb and I just lean forward to hug her. "It's fine."

"You're all hot." She closes the door for me and steers me back into the direction of the bedroom. "I tried to come back earlier, but those guys couldn't finish their parts. I had to do most of it, damn it. "

"Huh." I lean on her for support and I plop back into bed. Adso jumps up as well and crawls under the covers with me. She's tucking the both of us in and I can barely concentrate on her. I hear her walking around the room to turn off the light. "You leaving?"

"No." The bed dips again as she sits on the edge to take off her shoes. Shedding most of her clothes, she slides in next to me. "Move Sweetie."

"What?"

"Your dog."

He climbs around me to move to my other side. I pet him. Her body is cool and a welcomed sensation to my feverish skin. She moves my arm over her so that she can snuggle into my chest, and move a bit to accommodate her. She's rubbing the arm that I've thrown around her shoulders and she slips one of her legs around mine. "Do you want some cough medicine? I brought what I had from my room."

I shake my head and open my mouth to tell her no but find myself coughing instead.

"Come on, just sit up and I'll grab it for you."

Doing as I'm told I prop myself on my pillows. She comes back on the bed with the little medicine cup with a horrible red substance in it. I shake my head and make a face.

She swats my chest and comes close to spilling it all over my bed. "Jess, drink it."

"No." I croak and my throat is scratchy.

She tips the cup close to my lips. "Now."

I keep my lips shut and shake my head again.

"Big Baby. Hurry up so that we can go to sleep."

I close my eyes tightly and take the medicine with a shudder. "Yuck."

"Here." She hands me the bottle of water.

Washing down the fake taste of cherry, I replace the cap back on the water. "That's the worst."
Taking the water from me and turning the light off again, she settles in next to me. "Well, it'll help you and you'll feel much better in the morning."

I slide back under the covers.

"Now sleep."

---

My eyes are heavy, but they cooperate as I open them in the morning light. The room is cool but not too cold and I stretch my arms and legs with a sigh. I clear my throat and find that it's not as sore as before and I don't find the need to cough when I take a deep breath. I turn next to me but find that I'm alone in bed. There's a note on the side table and I reach for it.

Morning! Hope you're feeling better. Got up early and took Adso out for a walk. Be back soon. She ended the note with a happy face drawn on the bottom. Throwing the covers off me, I reach for a pair of sweats to throw over my boxers. I hear the door bang and the clamor of Adso's paws. "We're home."

From inside my room, I smile out of sight hearing her refer to my apartment as home. I might have done it unintentionally at Christmas but it had never come up again in conversation. "Hey. I'll be right out."

She pops up at the door and smiles. "You look better."

"I feel better." My dog comes up and weaves in an out of my legs as I walk towards her. I stop to pet him. "Early morning walk huh? Aren't you lucky?" He sits down to use this leg to scratch his belly and I turn my attention to her. "Thanks for taking care of him."

"Nah, no problem. We had fun, didn't we?"

I kiss her forehead. "Good morning."

"Hey." She runs her hands down my chest. "I bought breakfast." Grabbing my hand she leads me into the kitchen.

"Hold on a sec." I go into my extra room that I use for a study to riffle through the drawer.

"Whatcha doing?"

Turning around I hide my hands behind my back. Approaching her with a smirk, I quickly reach one hidden hand behind her ear and keep my fist closed in front of her.

"That better not be a coin you just pulled out of my ear." She rolls her eyes.

I open my palm.

"This is a key." She deadpans.

"Yes."

Raising an eyebrow, she's expecting me to continue.

Relenting, "It's a key to my apartment."

She opens her mouth.

"I was just thinking that it'd be useful for you. You know, for situations like last night. Or for whenever you want to come over."

"Wow. This is serious." She takes the solitary key from me and examines it. "Um, thanks." She hugs me tightly.

I kiss her briefly. "Let's eat." I leave her in my study and walk into the kitchen, knowing that she'll follow once she gathers her wits again.

She's not coming out of the room and suddenly I hear her quick steps. "You just gave me a key to your apartment." Her eyes are wide.

Turning with a bagel in hand, "Nothing gets past you, does it?" I spread on the cream cheese that she bought.

"Wait." She rounds the corner of the kitchen. "What does this mean?"

I take a bite. "What do you mean, what does this mean?"

"Well, this seems like…" Her face is curious. "This seems like serious couple stuff."

I shrug. "We're not?"

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

Her head tilts.

"What more do you want? You've said 'I love you,' you've seen me sick, I've seen you cry, we've showered together, I've seen your underwear. Clean and dirty." I chuckle.

"Hey! You were the one who tagged along during my laundry day."

"Doing laundry together isn't 'serious couple' enough for you?"

She ignores me and holds the key in front of her examining it closer. "Do you have a keychain for me?"

"No. I didn't plan it all out, giving you the key. I just wanted to do it."

"Hum." She slips the key into her front pocket. "Thanks."

I nod.

---

I hear the door open. "Jess? You home?"

My desk chair scrapes back against the floor and I poke my head around the door. "Yeah?"

She smiles broadly and drops her backpack and a small duffle next to my couch and walks quickly towards me. "Hi." Wrapping her arms around for a hug, she relaxes against me. "You haven't left the house?"

I pull back. "No, why?"

"Nothing. Just asking." She shakes her head in emphasis. "You're just wearing pajamas in the middle of the day, that's all."

I chuckle at her statement. "I told you I'm a homebody. What's the point of changing if I'm going to pad around the apartment all day? Look nice for my dog?"

She giggles. "Guess not."

"So, what's up?" I go back to sit down on my chair.

"Just finished class." She sits down on the floor next to my desk and looks up at me. "I'm bored."

"Stay here then."

"And do what?"

"Don't know. Hang out." Adso has come over to sniff her and he places his paws on her lap to lick at her face.

"Come on Puppy, let's go watch T.V." She gets up without a glance at me to go into the living room. "You coming?" She shouts.

"I can't. I have to finish this." I reply and turn back to my computer screen.

"Your loss." I hear her turn on the television and then politely turn down to the volume so that I can concentrate on my paper.

The phone rings and I look around the desk for it. Realizing that it's in the cradle in the living room, "Can you answer that for me?"

"Yeah." I hear shuffling and then a muffled, "Hello? Jess's apartment."

I shake my head in amusement.

"Yeah he's here. May I ask who's calling? Dr. Bennett's office? Hold on." Her head appears around the doorway. "Dr. Bennett?" She holds out the phone for me.

"Thanks." I reach for the phone, but I hold onto her hand and she giggles, falling into my lap. She's pulling her legs up to cross them on top of mine and she swivels the chair. "This is Jess. Yes. Tomorrow, that's fine. Thank you." I turn off the phone and lay it down on the desktop.

"Doctors?"

"Optometrist. Yearly check up."

She tilts her head and comes very close to my face to examine my eyes. "You wear glasses?"

I smile. "Yeah. Mostly contacts, but I have a pair of glasses."

"Oh." A small frown appears. "I didn't know that." She pauses and looks thoughtful. "There's a lot of practical stuff about you I don't know about."

"Like what?"

"Well I didn't know about that allergy thing to shellfish and somehow the fact that you wear glasses totally skipped my comprehension. I've never seen you take out your contacts."

"The couple of times you've stayed over I was too preoccupied with you so I left them in overnight." I smirk. I run my forefinger across the bridge of her nose, tracing freckles. "You wear glasses?"

"No." She smiles and pauses. I'm amused to hear her shyly admit, "But I do have a thing for guys in glasses."
"Do you? You never said anything."

"Because I didn't know you wore them."

I use my hands to keep her from falling off my lap and the chair. "And now that you know I wear them?"

"Do you have those black square plastic frames?" She bites her lip.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"Can I see them?"

I lean forward to kiss her. "Maybe if you're lucky."

"Can't wait." Jumping off my lap, "What do you want for dinner?" Food is always on her mind.

I give her an incredulous look, "Don't tell me you cook?"

"Hey, I resent that." Her hands go to her hips in defiance. "I could cook."

"Do you?"

Her arms go back down in defeat. "No. But I can order take out with the best of them."

Chuckling, "How about I make dinner?"

"But you're busy. I don't want to interrupt your paper."

"Make you a deal. If you go out and buy a bag of pasta shells, I'll make dinner when you come back."

She looks apprehensive. "I don't know which ones to buy."

"Here," I grab a piece of paper and write down the brand name and the size of the bag. "Just get these."

She takes the note. "Okay." She's staring at it.

"Do you know where the supermarket is?" I tease.

"Yes I do." She pulls in her chin. "I'm not that bad."

---

"What's with the duffel?" I point using my fork.

"Oh," She stops chewing. "It's just some of my stuff. For tonight. For other nights. Is that okay that I leave them here?"

I smile. "Yeah. That's fine."

"And, I have these…" She goes over to her backpack and returns to the table with a couple of brochures.

"What's that?"

"These are career pamphlets that I got in the English department."

I roll my eyes. "Rory, I won't find my future career looking at some brochure that the English counselors put together."

"Sheesh." She thumbs through one of them. "You sure are touchy about this career thing."

"I am not." I reply like a petulant child.

"You are too. You called me Rory."

"Well," I sigh and reach over her plate to take one. "It's just I don't want to pick a career out of a flyer. There's more to it than that. Opportunities, the company, locations…" I trail off.

"At least this can give you an idea of what sounds good that can put your major to use."

"Lots of people's jobs are in no way linked to whatever they got a degree in."

"Sure, but you chose English because it was interesting to you. And you're good at it. I've read some of your stuff. Just take a look; I already went through the trouble getting them." She picks up another. "Here, what about publishing? That kinda sounds like fun. Maybe you can work in the sector where you preview new authors. Like a talent scout for books."

"Huh." She hands it to me and I look over the blurbs. It talks about the various degrees needed, a general starting salary, and different example companies that take graduates fresh out of school.

She bumps her shoulder into mine. "Told you it was a good idea."

Playfully, "I won't admit to anything."

She rolls her eyes but goes back to concentrating on the pasta. "I did a good job picking out this pasta. Look at these shells. Just the right size. Not too big so that there's too much sauce, but not too small either so that there's no sauce. Perfect size." She's examining one on her fork.

Distracted I reply, "Yeah, yeah. Job well done Goldilocks."

---

"What the hell are we watching?"

The bed shifts as she looks over at me. "Full House."

"I'm sorry, have we suddenly gone back in time to the mid-nineties?"

She complains. "You're not even watching. You're reading."

Knowing that she's right, I shut up.

Clicking off the television, she turns and ducks her head down to catch the title of the book I'm reading. "For class?"

I reply without looking up. "Yeah."

"Can I borrow a book?"

"Help yourself. There's some on the end table and under the bed, but most are in the study."

"Hm." She hangs off the edge of the bed checking out the titles. "Hello Kurt."

I look up and she returns to sit up next to me. "Find something?"

"Yeah, Welcome to the Monkey House." She opens it up and slides under the covers. Looking around she appears curious. "Where's Adso?"

I turn another page. "Sometimes he likes to stay on the couch."

She snuggles up to my side. "It's weird not having him in bed too."

"He'll probably come later."

"Oh." She hops out of bed to open the door just a crack so that he can nudge it open should he wish to come in.

I read another paragraph and uncap the highlighter to mark a couple of words. Adjusting my glasses on my face, I write a short note in the margin of my textbook. She's getting settled into the Vonnegut novel and the only sounds in the room are the occasional ones of pages being turned and the odd chuckle from her. I glance over at her jealously at her seeing that she can read for leisure and I have to read for school.

Dog-earing the page, she shimmies her way down into the covers and brings it up to her chin and then over her head. I shake my head at her, but she can't see me. Her head comes back into view and I can feel her studying my face. "What is it?" I ask without looking.

"Glasses. I like it. Especially with the messy hair straight out of the shower." She blushes. "Very attractive."

Her blunt comment makes me stop my reading to look at her. She doesn't really comment much on my appearance besides the generic 'you look nice.' "Really?" I'm surprised as she pitches forward to kiss me and I drop my pen to hold her arms. I reach up to my face to take them off, but she stops me.

"Leave them on?"

I smirk. "You really do like them. Is this like a thing of yours?"

She shrugs delicately. "Well, just leave them on for now."

I close the book and it falls onto the floor with a thud as I lean over her lying form to properly kiss her. The bed shifts under us as I support my weight on my forearms. I slide my left hand down her arm and then up under her shirt. "What's with you wearing my shirts to bed?"

"I like them."

"Can I take it off?"

She smiles but squirms under me and takes it off herself. Tossing it off with a silent giggle, she runs cold palms up my arms to stop at my shoulders. "Good shoulders. Strong."

I look to see what she's going on about. "Huh."

She places a gentle kiss on my bicep. "Yep."

Kissing her, I effectively shut her up. Bringing a hand towards her, I dance fingers along the length of her body, stopping at the underside of her breast. She sighs against my mouth and warm hands come in contact with her. Knowing that we've been interrupted a few times in our last attempts, I savor the moment and let her do so as well. She's shifting her hips brazenly and I slowly make my way down from her now parted lips to the side of her jaw, trailing wet kisses as I go. My palm kneads soft flesh and her small hands come to grip hard at my shoulders. She's digging blunt nails into me and I tug at a puckered nipple in response. I almost bite the skin at her shoulder as I feel her hand worming its way into my boxers and I can't help but thrust into her. I leave her breast and shoulder and use flat palms placed by her head to support my weight as I drop my head that suddenly feels too heavy against her lifted forehead. I can feel my mouth parting as I gulp in air. No matter how many times we come to this point, it always feels new and exciting.

Rolling onto my side and quickly ditching my glasses onto the bedside table, I pull her into me, but trail my hands down her back to tug at her underwear. She's doing the same and I lift my hips to help her get me out of mine. Finally upon mutual success, she places her leg in between mine and effectively pushes me on my back and looks at me from above. She's smiling and I reach up to part knotted hair from her face. I smirk watching her playfully pretending to nip at my fingers. She pushes against me and my hands go to her hips to move with her. Using hands to brace against my upper abdomen, her eyes drift shut but I watch her intently. I sit up, now eyelevel with her chest and take her left breast into my mouth, working it while my hand reaches for the other. She's gripping my shoulders now, pushing herself against my mouth and hand and she's squirming hard against me. I vaguely hear a moan escape from her; it's muted but it's there and it delights me. Switching attention to the right breast, my hands go around to rest on the curve of her lower back, putting just enough pressure on her to bring her closer to her edge. Fingers are tangled into my hair and she's pulling slightly, but enough for me to read the signs. She's close. Running wet tongue around a hardened nipple does the trick and she's suddenly tightening against me without a sound and I slow down my actions as she slumps towards me, heavy and sleepy.

Sitting on my lap, she moves my head away from her chest, "No. It tickles afterwards and feels weird."

I nod and lay back as she does the same next to me on the bed. Scooting back close to me, she seems to be very cuddly right now, and I don't have the heart to push her anymore. I return her lazy smile with a tight one but I can feel my body pulsating, knowing that I'm all riled up and searching for release. Reading my body language, she slips her hand beneath the covers to take a hold of me and my eyes roll into the back of my head at the feeling. She's becoming bolder as she takes me and I can't say I have any room to complain. Eyes closed, I concentrate on the feeling of her hands and I can't help but push into her, finding that I had thrust square into her hip. She giggles and it brings me out of my sex fog for the moment. I rest my forehead against hers and sigh. "The things you do to me, Gilmore."

"Like what?"

"Like make me loose my head."

"Is that some sort of dirty pun?"

I laugh loudly, loving how being with her can be sexy one moment and a battle of wits in another. Not answering her ridiculous question, I kiss her on the lips, slowly and deliberately. She's let go of me to frame my face with her small hands and her fingers curl around the shell of my ears in affection. The ache in my body is more than I can stand and as I pull out of the kiss I see that she's already reaching over to the nightstand for a condom. I help her rip the foil and watch from above as she rolls it onto me, releasing with a reassuring squeeze. I brace myself up with straining forearms.

With bent knees, she bumps one into my thigh. "I like feeling your weight on me."

Barely hearing her words, I look down. "I'm too heavy."

"It's alright."

With a quick nod I enter her but also let her feel my body on hers. She arches up and tightens her muscles but doesn't complain about the added weight. My eyes slam shut and I feel her fingers pushing hair off my forehead. She lays a tender kiss in its place. I pull back and open my eyes to see her place bent legs around my hips and I motion for her to move them up to my waist instead. She complies and I thrust harder this time, feeling my end approaching only too soon but knowing that I was significantly roused earlier during foreplay. Inner muscles clamp down on me and I howl feeling my toes curl and then a quick uncontrollable spasm of my body against hers. I drop on her, not bothering at all with the worry that I might be too much for her to support. Instead of feeling her pushing me away, she wraps slightly sweaty arms around my torso, humming quietly as she kisses my neck. Muscles that were tight a moment ago are utterly relaxed and I turn to my side, facing her but barely touching.

My eyelids are heavy and I search under the covers for the curve of her hip and rest my free hand there as I close my eyes, listening to the sounds of her catching her breath.

---

My alarm is drawing me quickly out of my sleepy state and I shoot my hand out from beneath the covers to shut it off. I blink in the dim light and turn to see her body curled and facing away from me. I peel back the covers and grab my boxers from the floor to slip them on. I don't want to bother with the lights knowing that she doesn't need to wake up this early today. She doesn't have class but I don't have that luxury. Padding softly to the connected bathroom, I close the door behind me soundlessly and flip on the light. Examining my face in the mirror, I grab my toothbrush. Splashing water on my face, I run my palm across my cheek, feeling the stubble there but realizing that I don't have much time until my class starts. The shower rattles a bit as it comes to life and I step under the hot water, feeling relaxed at the moment.

I leave the bedroom door open as I walk into the front room and Adso picks up his head from the couch and trots over to greet me. With a quick scratch behind his ears, I grab a breakfast bar and a bottle of water from the pantry. Turning around an empty envelope that had contained my electric bill I grab the pen that was laying on the countertop to write her a quick note.

Morning. Went to class. Help yourself to whatever you want. There's leftover pizza in the fridge. I'll call.

I reach for my jacket and slip it on as I grab my keys from the hook and my bag from the kitchen table. With damp hair falling on my face, I smile at Adso and gently lock the front door.

---

I flip open my phone. "Hello?"

"Hey."

I smile. "Hi." I lengthen my strides as I approach the cart. "Sleep well?" Stepping into line, I use my free hand to dig out my wallet and look over to the board to read today's specials.

"Yeah, thanks. You left without saying goodbye."

"I didn't want to wake you."

"I don't like waking up without you."

I duck my head down and concentrate on her voice as the line moves up another person. "I'll keep that in mind." Shifting my weight, "What are you up today?"

"I'm working on the school paper. You?"

"I'm getting lunch right now."

"Sandwich cart?"

I smirk. "Of course. What else?"

"You know Jess, there are other things to eat on campus." I can imagine her rolling her eyes.

"I like what I know."

"Creature of habit." A beat. "Listen, I called because I needed to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"Well," she pauses and sounds nervous. "I kinda broke one of your mugs this morning."

"Kinda?"

"I was making coffee and I went to get one of your mugs to catch the first cup because I couldn't wait for the whole pot to brew and as I was grabbing the cup, it just slipped out of my hands. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." The sandwich guy gestures to me and I cover the mouthpiece of the phone with my hand. "Yeah, I'll have the roast beef on wheat, extra lettuce, and a water. Thanks." I hand him my money and stand off to the side to wait. Returning to my conversation with her, "Don't worry about it."

"I'll replace it."

I smile at her manners.

"So I've been assigned this article about the recent private donation to the art program and I was wondering if you could read it over for me."

The guy hands me my sandwich and I look around for an empty bench. "I don't know anything about writing for the school paper."

"I need fresh eyes. I've been staring at it for far too long to look at it objectively. Please." She's dragging out that last word like a child.

I unwrap my roast beef and take a bite. "Yeah, sure. Come over to my place later?"

"No, I can't. Meet me at the library. I'm getting together with some people in my class later to study."

"Okay, what time?"

"Five alright with you?"

"Yeah. See you then." My mouth is full and I'm trying to finish off my lunch before my next class.

"Thanks."

"Bye." I close my phone and twist off the cap to my bottle of water.

---

Plopping down on a chair next to her, I'm thoroughly annoyed. "Do you have any idea how big this library is Rory? I've been looking all over for you and you haven't been answering your phone." My voice is hushed since we've in a library, but it sounds irritated.

"Is it five o'clock already?" Her face is baffled and she slides out her cell to reveal many missed calls from me. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

I roll my eyes at her obliviousness. "It's half past five because I've been scouring the library for you."

She cups her hand around my jaw. "Sorry Baby."

Her chosen tactic to bring me out of my mood has worked just by calling me 'Baby' and I offer her a tight smile. "Alright, let's see that paper."

"Right." She's digging through her crap that is all around the large table and brandishes a couple sheets of paper with various red marks correcting her writing. "This is it. I haven't written the last part yet, to tie everything together, but basically I'm done."

Out of the corner of my eye I see her scooting her chair closer to mine and I carelessly drape my left arm along the back of it. I scan her article to get a feel of it, and then settle in to read it with a critical eye. At first she's nervously watching me read, but after several moments she's returned to her textbook, letting me correct her article in peace. "Here, you wrote about the recent surges in private donations, but it doesn't flow with the rest of the article if you're reporting about the specific one made last week." I point to the paragraph. "And it's not interesting, people won't read that. They just want to know how that new donation will affect them if they're in the art program."

She takes it out of my hands to see for herself. "Hm. Okay."

I turn my head to watch her use her pen to make notes to herself and I move my arm from the back of the chair to her shoulders. Bending to kiss her on the nape of her neck, she squirms against me. She turns and instead of kissing her again, I stare at her. She breaks the eye contact by dipping her head down. I sit back and stretch my legs out under the table. My knees pop at the movement.

"Are you in a hurry to leave?" She whispers.

"Want me to stick around?"

"Yes please."

"What about your study group?"

She waves her hand in dismissal. "Not for another half hour." Her ponytail flutters with her movements. "Hey, how was your eye appointment?"

"Fine. Got a new prescription for contacts."

She smiles, but doesn't respond. Turning back to her homework, I reach around my chair to pull my notebook from my bag. I uncap my pen, but it doesn't write and I flip to a random page to scribble all over it, finding that it's out of ink. "You have a pen I could borrow?"

Handing me hers without even looking, she digs into her backpack for a new one. I make several notations in my book, but then I rest my pen on the table and look around the room aimlessly. Running my hand nervously through my hair, I lean over to whisper, "My dad has a friend who knows a guy that works in publishing. He agreed to meet with me."

Wide eyes turn to greet my apprehensive ones. "Wow, really? When did this happen?"

"I was talking to Dad this morning on the phone. He's been kinda pushing me to find direction after I graduate. Barring any odd circumstances, this should be my last semester."

"Why didn't you say so? I thought you had more to go." She looks mildly upset with me.

I shrug in nonchalance. "I wasn't really keeping track. But I met with my advisor a while ago and she just said that if I take on a larger class load this semester then I can graduate, granted that I pass all my classes."

She's chewing on her pen cap. "So you're leaving Yale."

I give her an odd look. "That was always the plan once I graduated."

"Will you be leaving New Haven?"

I look at her reassuringly. "I'm just meeting the guy, not moving across the country tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

---

This message is for Jess Mariano. This is Ben Robbins. I'm calling about our appointment next week; I was hoping to move it up to this coming weekend instead. Saturday will be best for me. Sorry about the short notice, but I have a last minute business trip the same day we originally agreed to meet. Call me back and we'll make something work. Thanks, bye.

I fish out my phone from my pocket and scroll down to where I had saved his number. I back up and hop on my kitchen counter to sit and select his number. "Hello. Mr. Robbins?"

"Yes?" His voice comes through clear and strong.

"It's Jess Mariano. I'm just returning your call to let you know that Saturday will be fine."

I hear some papers shuffling. "Great, and please call me Ben. Yeah, sorry about moving it up so suddenly but I need to fly out to California that day."

"No, no problem."

"Well, I had heard a bit about you through Jimmy, but I'd like to talk to you now before we meet."

"Alright." Butterflies build up in my stomach.

"I don't know if Jimmy told you anything about the company, but we're a small publishing house that's relatively new but we're looking to expand into the business. We've got some authors lined up with us right now, but they still need to get their work out there. Basically Dog-Eared Publishing is trying to make itself known just as much as our authors. I just have a couple of guys working with me and at this point we're all just searching for authors that are worth our time to represent. My guys are young, none of us are over thirty and neither are our authors. Jimmy said you're about to graduate."

"Yes, Yale."

I hear him whistle. "Good. After we meet on Saturday, if we get along, you're welcome to come and check us out in New York."

"New York?"

"Yeah, that's where we base our business."

"Oh." Dad had neglected to mention that.

"Problem?"

"No, no problem."

"Good. See you then."

"Thanks."

---

AN: Feelings? Reviews really do help the writing process. Thanks!