*Up next, we have a couple of my newest OC's. You barely met Scott and Julie if you read Mantle, because they weren't even introduced until the end of the story. There's a lot to learn about this pair. I chose to take the chapter from Scott's perspective, so the experience is a little...different. His limitations forced me to write from a unique angle. The song "Unchained Melody" belongs to the Righteous Brothers.
Please enjoy.
Scott's fingers lightly traced the neck of the acoustic guitar, feeling the rough texture of the small pieces of masking tape affixed to the back. The instrument felt like a foreign object in his hands, and he hated it. The guitar had once been like an extension of his own body; now it was a representation of a part of himself that would never be recovered.
The man wanted to hurl the instrument and be rid of the empty chasm in his chest, and a couple of years ago, he probably would have. Now he only stretched out a hand for reassurance of where the coffee table was, and leaned the guitar against the furniture.
He back slumped harder against the couch cushions, shoulders drooping with a sigh. I don't understand why Jake had to get the guitar out again. I'm doing fine, or at least I was. He didn't mean anything bad by it, but this isn't the sort of push I need. There are some things that will never be the same, no matter what I do. That chapter of my life is closed.
Scott's ears perked up at the sound of a soft click, signifying a light switch being turned on. The action had no impact on the eternal midnight he was exiled to, but it announced the arrival of his wife. Surprised it took her that long to notice me gone. Between the night courses she teaches and shifts at the clinic, Julie's obviously not getting enough sleep.
Guilt instantly pulsed through his mind. Yet it's always about me. Julie has needs of her own, and I can't even...be the man I'm supposed to be for her.
The woman's footsteps across the carpeted floor were light, but each one made Scott feel heavier. He didn't want to have the same conversation they'd been through too many times already.
Unfeeling legs couldn't detect the couch shift on her arrival, but he sensed the nearness of her presence in the sound of her breathing, and the lavender scent which lingered from her nightly bubble bath. Because of those things, he wasn't startled when her hand found his shoulder.
"Can't sleep?"
He hated the concern in her voice. How he hated it! Despite passing years and adaptions he'd made for new limitations, Scott couldn't get used to being a consistent source of worry to the woman he...loved. When was the last time I showed her my love? She always beats me to the punch.
"Scott?" She was clearly puzzled by his silence.
"You should be in bed, Julie. You have an early morning." The sentence came out coldly, though he didn't intend it that way. He heard the woman shift, sensed her small retreat.
"I don't want to bother you," she said quietly.
"Didn't mean that," he returned gruffly. "But you need your rest."
"It'd be easier to go back to sleep if you were with me."
Scott made a scoffing sound. "I don't do anything for you, Julie. You manage quite well on your own." He heard her sharp intake of air, and knew his bitterness had caused him to say the wrong thing. Again. This is why it's easier not to bother, especially at this hour. It felt late to him, even if he couldn't read the time.
"That doesn't mean I want to be alone," she countered finally.
And she shouldn't have to be. Shouldn't have to put up with a selfish cripple who can't get out of his own head. "I'm sorry," he murmured, stretching a hand to find his wheelchair. "I didn't mean to keep you up."
"Scott, can you just...talk to me for a minute? I don't ask for much from you, but I need this."
"What do you want me to say, Julie?" he asked stiffly. "What can I say that I haven't already? I don't...I can't be the man I ought to be. The one I want to be. For you. Even if I could, you probably wouldn't let me."
The fading of her signature scent indicated her further retreat. "What does that mean?"
"It means you constantly pour yourself out for everyone else, but mostly me. You never stop, and I couldn't keep up with you if I tried."
The woman seemed to be at a loss for words. "Scott, I...I don't know what you want from me. Perhaps all you want is to be left alone in the dark, but the truth is...I still love you very much. The separation hurts me. When I reach out to you, it isn't just to help. I'm trying to find a way to...knot the frayed ends of our relationship together. I wish you understood that.
He exhaled. "It's not understanding, Julie. I'm just...I'm not...good at this." Scott heard tentative movement and turned his head to orient on the sound.
"I'm only asking you to try."
"I try and I fail. Over and over."
"Scott, it doesn't have to be this hard. Tell me what you're thinking tonight."
"Why do you still love me?" he asked bluntly.
She chuckled. "Because under that perpetually grumpy facade, you're still the man I married. You're still protective, creative, and generous. You also still get the little creases in your forehead whenever you're confused."
"It's been a long time since I was any of those things, except for confused."
Her fingers closed around his wrist. "You still let my husband out occasionally, even if you keep him on a leash."
He ducked his head at the statement. "I'm not the person I was."
"You have more obstacles and burdens than anyone should have to live with, but it's not who you are, Scott. Not unless you stop trying completely."
"How can you look at me and see the same person as before?"
The woman didn't answer for a long moment. "Do you love me less because you can't see me?"
The question jarred him. "No. Why would I?"
"Because your love isn't based on sight?" she suggested. "My love isn't based on your vision or mobility either." Her fingers traveled from his hand to his face, and Scott felt himself swallowing on cue.
"I don't deserve you."
The words drew another light laugh from the woman. "I don't like trying to keep score."
"Julie, I'm serious. I can't do anything for you. All the time and energy you thrust on my head every day, and I come up empty."
"Is it so hard to say you love me?"
"Those are only words. I want to do more. I want...I want to take care of you the way I'm supposed to. That's what you deserve."
Her sudden nearness left him in danger of shuddering. "You still have a voice," she said wistfully. "And according to Victoria, you could do more. Especially since you play by ear."
Annoyance flared, and he knew his face darkened with it. "Julie, music isn't a part of my life anymore."
"You still love it."
"It doesn't matter."
"I know you don't mean that. You used to eat, sleep, and breathe your guitar. You have it here with you in the middle of the night. Why? Because you still crave it. And you know what? I do too."
"Wouldn't be here if Jake hadn't dragged it out again. How am I supposed to play, Jules? It's been years, and everything is different."
"You haven't forgotten how."
He grunted under his breath. "Can't play this way."
"You may have to learn a new method, but it could be done. You realize the masking tape is marking the different frets, don't you?"
A half grin cracked before he realized it was happening. "Since when do you know what a fret is?"
"Victoria explained it to me. Your hands can acclimate to the correct position you need to play by touch, and using your ear. You already know what it's supposed to sound like. It'll take time, but if you'd try...I know you can pick it up again."
"It's been too long."
She leaned closer to his ear so he could feel her breath against his skin. "It's not too late for music, or us. If you want it."
"I've always wanted you," he declared hoarsely.
Her head dropped against his shoulder. "Then you can't quit trying."
Scott leaned down to kiss the top of her head through the familiar curly texture of her hair. "I'm sorry."
She relaxed her body against his chest, allowing him to fold arms around her. "If you let yourself out of the cave, there's no telling what you could accomplish."
"I want to be there for you..."
"You can. You're doing it right now, Scott."
He kept an arm tight around her waist, but the other strayed back to to find her face, smoothing the soft skin of her angular chin. How long had it been since he'd allowed her this close to him? He couldn't remember, and that fact alone was sad.
The man took a deep breath and attempted to imagine what the woman might like to hear, more than anything. The answer came in a split second, but it took him a few more moments to work up to singing the lyrics.
"Oh my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long lonely time
Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me.
Lonely rivers flow
To the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh
Wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home
Wait for me.
Oh, my love, my darling,
I've hungered for your touch
A long lonely time
Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me..."
Julie was so quiet when he trailed off that he nearly thought she'd gone to sleep on him, but she finally sniffed and shifted in his arms.
"Your love is enough for me, Scott. I don't know when you decided it wasn't."
"I just want to do more." When he started to loosen his grip, she reached down to clutch his arms.
"Knowing that you want me too is the thing I've been craving."
He rested his chin on top of her head with a sigh. "Then I'll keep trying."
Her head twisted beneath him, and warm lips pressed against his. There was no dreaded sympathy or concern behind the action – only the pure love of the most wonderful woman he'd ever known.